Name: Impostor Syndrome | This Past Weekend w/Theo Von #149
Uploaded: 2018-11-19T14:00:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Impostor Syndrome | This Past Weekend w/Theo Von #149' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-11-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Impostor Syndrome | This Past Weekend w/Theo Von #149' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-11-19. Transcript available.

Impostor Syndrome | This Past Weekend w/Theo Von #149

Let's go
You know it
I don't know if we'll always use this song
But we are today
Happy holidays guys, happy early holidays
When I find it, I'll patch up where it's been blown
You little kicking pigeons baby, you kicking pigeons
Now I'm just floating on the breeze
And I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be
Cornerstone
This, that week baby, braid your cousin's hair
Oh, but when I reach that ground
I'll share this peace of mind
I found I can feel it in my bones
Tickle yourself man, do it
It's gonna take a little time
For me to set that parking brake
And let myself unwind
Shine that light on me
I'll sit and tell you my stories
Shine on me
And I will find a song
I will sing it for you
Thank you guys for being here
Happy Thanksgiving week
It is November in the year of 2018
And you got, oh, I know you can hear it
And you know, we got still
We all still got a little bit of work to do this week
But you can hear the wheels of the busy year
You can hear those brakes
Starting to lock up
And you can hear them
You can hear the year starting to grind to a halt
And man, it is kind of nice
It is kind
And if you're still going real hard
Take a deep breath
You know, take a hit off the universe
And bring it down
Do something relaxing, you know
You know, tickle somebody
Feel how soft
You know, like a senior citizen is
Or like a
You know, take your dog for a walk
Try to read a book
I mean, we're so scattered
Or I'm so scattered these days
I can't barely read
But
Every now and then, you know
I try to read
And that's like the old reading a book
It's just trying to read one
But do something, you know
Hug somebody
It's Thanksgiving week
Dude, I thought of this
If you want to send in a clip
It's called Relative Rodeo
And that's hashtag Relative Rodeo
And that's at Thanksgiving
You gotta hug a relative
That maybe don't really
Want a hug from you
And somebody else in your family
Have to film it
And you gotta stay on
For as long as you can
So it's a wild game
But in the end
You know, a lot of times
That can bring people closer together
But that
If you want to send that in to me
Hashtag Relative Rodeo
I'll be peeping some of those
But no fake ones, man
Don't send in
You know, I need eight
I want to see somebody
Go in eight seconds
You know, I want to see somebody
Really hitting it hard out there
Dallas Buyer clubbing
Don't come in
You know, with you cheating
And it's just you and somebody
You already
Are friends with
Or, you know, we're doing sex with
In your family
Or not, you know
I mean a wife
For a, you know
Fiance or something
I want to see that real
Relative Rodeo
But if you want to send that to me
And make it a hashtag
Relative Rodeo
On social medias
What else, man?
Oh, I, yeah
I can just hear the year
Grinding to a halt
And I can feel
I can feel some peace, man
I had a nice time
I just had a nice weekend
Just relaxing, really
I really did
You know, just kind of chilling out
And, you know, I've been going through some things
And you guys
You know, some of the listeners
Have been really supportive
And sent some nice messages in
And I'm grateful for that
You know, and I just realize
I'm grateful to just be alive
And still be able to learn
Even at this age
And even at this point in my life
To still be able to have the opportunity
To be alive in this playground
And be able to experience life
And experience some of the things
That are going on
Whether they be highs or lows
Or, you know, just learning experiences
You know, I've been
I've met a lot of wonderful people
So far in my life
And a lot of them are you guys
And thank you guys
For being a part of this
This past year
We're coming up on two years
Of this past weekend
It's so crazy
It's
You know, when I think about it
It's just
It's cool
It's cool
And we're going to do some great things
I want to thank all the Patreon supporters
And I'm going to thank them by name
At the end of the podcast
And I want to thank all the listeners
And everybody that's been coming out
Helping us do some neat things
You know, the single moms
You know, we're going to put out
Our game show episode
Of Get That Cash
Which is hiding the hotel room money
For the cleaning lady
And then
And then
You know, I want to continue
To incorporate some other ideas
And do other fun stuff
That makes me feel good
Honestly
And
And we do a lot of that together
And I'm grateful for you guys
Thank you
Thank you very much
Happy Thanksgiving
To you
From me
I love this time of year
You know, I remember
At this time of year
When I was young
You know
The carnival sometimes
Would come by
You know, when it was
Kind of cool enough
Maybe that was August
Or something
But in the fall
The carnival would come by
And they had
I remember one time
When I was a child
They had a
You know
Somebody set the car
The Ferris wheel
And a Ferris wheel
Was like
It's basically like
Deja vu
But like on a big metal
Machine
So I don't know
If you ever had
Deja vu
But it's like that
It's like somebody
Made a machine out of it
And
You get on there
And usually
The guy that's
Letting you on
The Ferris wheel
He
You'll ask him a question
About safety
Or
How long
You're gonna be on
Or anything like that
And he
Won't
He can't hear you
Or has no answers
Or no information
I mean
Sometimes too
He'll be wearing
Like these big
You know
Earmuffs
These big
Air force earmuffs
And there are
These earmuffs
They made
So when you're
In the air force
You can
Pretend like you're not
And sometimes
You'll see guys
Having them on
Airfields and stuff
And
And so basically
This guy
Who you're asking
Information for
That was operating
The ride
He couldn't even
Fucking hear you
And then he would
Lock you in a cage
Man
He would lock you
In this kind of
Caged up deal
And then
He would
Start it off
And just
Start
Just spinning around
Through the same
Moment over and
Over again
And I remember
One time
They set the
They set the
They set the
One time
They set the
Ferris wheel
Up
The ride
Up too close
To a
A tree
An oak tree
Or a
You know
Or like a
Haunted maple
Or something
You know
But it looked
Like an oak
And
They had a
Wasp nest
Up there
And dude
I don't know
If I remember
A more harrowing
Experience
You know
And this was
Me and my boy
Robert
And he had
This internal
Whisper going on
Where
You know
Robert would
You know
He was like
He
I think I've
Talked about him
Before he was
Like kind of
Supposed to be
Twins
But he never
Separated
And so he
Always
You would hear
Him say
Something
And say
You'd hear
It echo
Again inside
Of him
You know
He'd be like
I want a
Sandwich
I want a
Sandwich
He'd be like
Oh man
I had too much
Gravy at dinner
I had too much
Gravy at dinner
You know
He would say
Something again
Under his breath
He had repetitive
Verbal syndrome
Or something
So anyway
Dude
You get on
This Ferris wheel
And this bitch
Is just taking you
Over and
Over again
Through the
Wasps
Every kid
On the thing
Screaming
Crying
Getting stung
People jumping
Off the fucking
Little
I remember
Fucking Daniel
Hit the air
Bruh
Right
I'll just
Jump probably
90 feet off
Just out
And who knows
Into what
Nobody
I don't even know
What happened to him
But this man
Had set the
Dang
Ferris wheel
Up
Under a
Wasp nest
And I mean
Every time
We went back
There
It was just
Like us
Just
It was
Iwo Jima
Man
It was
Like trying
The beaches
Of Normandy
Just over
And over
And again
You know
And just
Oh man
We was just
Out there
Dunkirk
And just
Getting
Just torn
Our ass
Up
Every time
You know
You'd think
And you'd go
Down
And then
The next
The kids
Behind you
Were going
In
Just screaming
Just getting
Wasped up
All because
Of some
Jackass
And the guy
You're screaming
He can't
Hear you
He had on
Those super
Air force
Headsetters
And god
I remember
That that was
Miserable
But I remember
When we got
Off of it
And you know
They had
Probably
Maybe
16
17
Kids
That had been
Wasped up
You know
One boy
Was just
He didn't know
What the fuck
Was going on
Somebody
Was dripping
You know
Dripping diesel
Under his tongue
Or something
Or putting
Kerosene
In his mouth
Or something
You know
They're trying to
This was back
When they didn't
Know how to
Solve a lot
Of you know
Medical issues
But they gave
Everybody free
Cotton candy
And I remember
Going from
Such a low
Of like
Damn
You know
Here I am
At the fair
The one thing
Around the area
That I can afford
Every year
And I'm
Excited about
And now
I'm walking
Around all
Stung
And
And the
Cotton candy
Did help
I remember
That
You know
I do remember
That
But I just
Loved this
Time of year
When the
Air was
Different
And things
Were a little
More still
And you
Could hear
You know
There wasn't
As many
Animals
Because where
I grew up
They had
A lot
Of animals
You know
Crickets
You know
Not
Vultures
But you know
Angry birds
You know
Like you know
You know
Kind of ducks
But it had
Some violence
In them
You know
Sparrows
You'd have
Nightingales
Trying to
You know
Land in people's
Afros
And shit
Like that
And I
Remember
It just
And at
This time
Of year
A lot
Of the
Animals
Went
To Barbados
Or you
Know
Down
The southern
Hemisphere
And so
You got
A little
Relaxation
You wouldn't
Hear all
The animals
You know
Doing sex
Or
Just being
Around each
Other
You wouldn't
Hear a lot
Of that
You know
Fighting
Or whatever
You know
Procreating
Or anything
So you got
More just
Stillness
In the air
And I always
Loved that
About this
Time of year
But damn
I'll never
Forget that
Shit man
That dude
Set that
Freaking
Ferris wheel
Up under
That wasp
Nest
And every
Time we
Went through
Man
Man
That was
Crazy
We went
Through some
Things you know
And we went
Through some
Things together
Back then
And that was
My buddy
Robert man
Haunted
Robert
And he
Seemed
Very
Haunted
You know
Because I
Think he
Was supposed
To be
Twins
But they
Never
Separated
In the
Wound
And so
We always
Had you
Know
His little
You know
This little
Bad boy
Sibling
Inside of
Him
Lurking
You know
He was
He was
That double
Entendre
You know
That
You know
He was
That confluence
You know
He was
That
You know
He had
A little
Bit of
Reverb
Going on
Inside
Of his
DNA
And that
Was
A special
Time
Though
You know
What
Actually
Reminded me
Of that
Recently
I was
In
The
Airport
And I
Was in
Minnesota
Airport
And man
I love
Minnesota
Airport
People are
Nice
They got
Them
Scratchers
They got
The
Scratch
Off
Lottery
Tickets
Cause
Nothing
You know
If you
Want to
Fucking
Take a
Chance
I like
To be
Able
To
Take
A
Chance
Every
Now
And then
And in
The
Old
Days
You
Could
Do
Different
Stuff
To
Take
A
Chance
You
Know
You
Could
Commit
A
Crime
Back
In
The
Day
They
Didn't
Have
A
DNA
Or
Any
They
Had
A
Wanted
Poster
That
Was
It
They
Had
One
Dude's
Drawing
Of
You
So
All
You
Had
To
Know
Was
It
You
Know
How
Good
The
Local
Artist
Was
And
If
They
Were
Shit
Then
You
Could
Do
A
Crime
You
Could
Take
A
Chance
You
Know
Do
A
Robbery
Or
Do
A
Burglary
Or
Do
Something
But
Now
Taking
A
Chance
You
Know
It's
Harder
To
Take
A
Chance
And
That's
Why
I
Like
Sometimes
They
Have
Scratch
Off
Ticket
Machines
Them
Scratchers
And
And
They're
Domiciled
Up
There
In
Those
You
Know
In
These
Little
Things
In
The
Airport
But
Anyway
So
Oh
What
Reminded
Me
Of
The
Of
The
Being
On
The
Ferris
Wheel
Was
Somebody
Let
Some
Of
Their
Booty
Out
You
Know
Body
Gas
Out
Of
Their
Butt
At
The
On
The
Electric
Floor
Escalator
Yes
At
Minnesota
Airport
And
This
Was
I'll
See
What
Date
It
Was
In
Case
Anybody
Else
Was
Over
There
This
Was
November
4th
Probably
This
Was
Like
About
830
8
To
830
A.M.
I
Don't
If
Anybody
Else
Caught
This
You
Know
This
Cloud
But
This
I
Somebody
Unleashed
Their
Whole
I
Mean
It
Was
Almost
Like
Somebody
Had
A
Ghost
Hiding
In
Their
Butt
You
Know
And
This
Thing
Just
Suddenly
Just
Haunted
Started
Haunting
The
Universe
Right
There
In
The
Airport
And
Somebody
Did
It
On
The
On
The
Moving
Floor
That
Moving
Escalator
So
Man
You
It
Just
Flashback
Dude
You
Had
And
I
Went
Down
And
Got
Lost
Because
I
Was
Going
I
Supposed
To
Be
In
D
And
I
Went
To
E
So
Next
Thing
You
Know
I
Went
Through
It
Twice
So
You
Know
They
Just
Had
This
Big
You
Know
This
Big
Vulgar
Sort
Of
You
Know
This
Big
Vulga