Name: Single Mom's Night Out - Charlotte | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
Uploaded: 2018-11-28T23:54:29.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Single Mom's Night Out - Charlotte | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-11-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Single Mom's Night Out - Charlotte | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-11-28. Transcript available.

Being raised by a single mom growing up, I would have given pretty much
anything to give my mom a break and have a night out on the town where she didn't
have to worry about anything.
Thanks to the growth of the podcast and our Patreon subscribers, we have the
ability to make that happen for single moms in the cities that I perform in.
This is this past weekend's Single Moms Night Out.
Happy to be here in Charlotte. We got our single mom tonight that we're going
to go meet up with.
We decided to come to Strike City to show Heather and her friend a good time
because we think all single moms are a real knockout.
We thought we would come and knock out some pins here at Strike City.
I'm not good at bowling. My family, a lot of my family was tightrope walkers.
Eric and I, nice to meet you. Yeah. No, I thought we'd just go to the bowling
lanes for a little bit and then we go over to the other.
Okay. Okay. Not good? Yeah. Awesome.
We have a 13, what do you have? A 13? A girl? Yeah.
Let's do this shit, son.
Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
I didn't see what happened. I didn't catch that. I didn't catch that one.
I'm gonna see her over here, man. I like to be that underdog. I'm gonna build
up the burp. Okay, burp.
I'm gonna build up the burp. Okay, now I'm gonna build up the burp.
Huh? Was that the first strike you ever got in your life? I just got that
strike, you know, that killer.
Yeah, I got third place, man. But you know, Sonoma, you gotta let the ladies
have you, you know.
Yeah. It's that kind of country, man.
You let us, man.
Alright, we got a couple of beautiful ladies here. That's the thing about
ladies. Sometimes you want one lady, you get dos.
Dos seconds. Dos seconds, bro. I don't think seconds is the right word.
Okay, let's go.
Appreciate you, man.
Yeah, man. Nice to meet you, bro.
Comedy, baby.
I've never been.
I've never been to the Comedy Zone.
Never?
Not here in Charlie.
Yeah, first time.
All right.
Cherry's getting popped tonight.
Damn, we're on a bottle, man.
I like to pull over.
See, we have like four minutes to get inside.
Yeah, we got to get these lovely ladies inside and seated.
Let's go.
There's some Theo fans.
We're ready, baby. We're ready, dog.
Let's go, bro.
See you, baby.
We're done.
Let's go.
Man, I'm really fired up.
Good evening.
Good evening.
Welcome.
Thank you guys for coming.
To this stage.
You've seen him on the Joe Morgan Experience and you've heard him on this past
weekend.
Let's get some noise to Theo Morgan.
Hello.
Hello.
What's up, Heather?
It's Theo.
What are you doing?
Girl, you know I'm up to no good.
What's going on?
I'm so sorry.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
What's up, Heather?
What's up, Heather?
It's Theo.
What are you doing?
Girl, you know I'm up to no good.
What's going on?
I'm sure.
Nothing.
I just got home from work.
What are y'all all doing for Halloween?
What are you doing with the kiddo for Halloween?
You know, she's 13, so she doesn't really trick or treat anymore.
However, her and her friends want to get dressed up and just go run around the
neighborhoods, I guess.
Hmm.
I am going to stay home and give out candy for the first time in 13 years.
Well, you better make sure your daughter ain't out there giving out candy
around there than boys.
You feel me?
I will kill her.
Okay, good.
So then dress up like Jason Voorhees if you have to, or dress up like Freddie,
you know?
In case she comes back to the house, then you're prepared to kill her, you know?
We miss you.
We want to come hang out with you again.
Oh, I'd love to do that.
Yeah, we had a good time.
You know, you're really famous.
I am?
Yes.
So many people know who you are.
Well, that's pretty wild, I guess.
I can't believe that we went out with you and didn't know who you were.
Well, look, dude.
I've been going out with myself my whole life and have no clue who I am.
Oh, my goodness.
It was fun.
I didn't know you and your girl were ringers at bowling either, though.
I didn't know that you ladies frequented the lanes, you know?
A couple of bad ball babies up there.
Oh, my gosh.
We had so much.
I'm telling you, I have not had that much fun in so long.
Oh, that's great.
A couple 10-pin shawties out there.
And tell your girl to wear a dang skirt next time.
Dang.
She had on a long scarf.
That wasn't even a dress.
Let's get Erica on the line because I want to make sure she's okay.
Oh, God.
What's up, Erica?
I'm ready for it.
What's up?
What's up?
Not much.
I just, we were starting to, me and Heather were talking about how to get the,
what happened
to the rest of your skirt that you wore and why the store didn't give it all to
you.
Oh, my God.
So, I had, I could not find my license before I got with you and I really
wanted to drink.
I'm surprised.
Yeah.
Look, there was nowhere to keep a license on that thing.
Oh, my God.
That thing looked like a, like a, like a neck brace that was really long at the
bottom.
That thing looked short.
Well, if your Uber driver would have turned around, he would have got him a
view of a lifetime, honey.
That was damn awful.
She parked from my neighbor's driveway, right?
Mm-hmm.
Illegal.
My daughter and my daughter and godmother are standing outside in the driveway.
Mm-hmm.
And she bends over to get her, she's looking for a license.
Mm-hmm.
And I'm standing there next to the car with the Uber driver, literally ass
everywhere.
I'm talking about, he was all out.
Come on.
I don't know.
I was on a mission.
Oh, yeah.
Your ass is out.
Yeah.
I said, y'all don't have to look because I got to find his license.
You might need a new mission statement.
Oh.
Yeah, you might need a new, uh.
I said, you cannot bend over when we bowl.
You cannot.
Oh, I did not think about that when buying that, purchasing that outfit.
Yeah.
You didn't think about much.
Yeah, you need to take a tape measure in there with you when you buy something
next time.
She kept it all together when we were bowling, though.
I rolled a stripe in that dress.
Don't get it twisted.
I don't know if you remember, sir.
That dress was leaving nothing to spare.
I'll tell you that.
It left nothing to spare.
I'll say that.
I can see that 7/10 split.
What are you doing for Halloween, Erica?
Oh, God.
I'm going to have to trick or treat.
What?
You're too old.
Come on.
You're too old for that shit, man.
Shut it down, baby.
I've got to take the children.
Oh, you're going to take the kids.
The thing about my friend is, Heather showed me a couple years ago this bomb
neighborhood.
Everybody's got money.
The rich and white neighborhood is where you go to.
Oh, yeah.
You've got to take the kids there.
Yeah.
We go there.
They've got some good houses, good candy.
We go there.
We usually load up in a minivan, put the back of it up.
Yes.
It's a thing.
It's a big thing.
It really excites me.
We're really trick-or-treaters, like hardcore trick-or-treaters.
Yeah.
So that's what I'm going to do.
Oh, that's the way to do it.
Yeah.
Keep your squad hydrated out there.
We used to get out there.
We used to steal people's mail.
In the nice neighborhood, we'd take everything, dude.
My cousin would go around the side and steal shrubbery and shit.
We'd fucking roll out of that thing.
Dude, we steal sod.
We steal half the yard, bruh.
That's our bowling team.
We've got to think up a team name for next year.
Yes.
Hell yeah.
I'll get a shirt.
I'll get some shirts.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
And if Erica ain't in prison, we've got to get matching neck tats if Erica ain't
locked
up.
Hell no.
I ain't going to the yard.
Okay.
First, I wasn't getting none of this.
Boy, I had so much fun.
I didn't have to take any of my clothes off.
That's what I was saying, baby.
The game has changed.
I had, I said, first class treatment and I didn't have to even get undressed.
I'm in something fresh.
Damn.
That's what I was saying.
Oh, my God.
Well, look.
I mean, I had fun, too.
And I didn't have to take any of my clothes off, you know?
But we'll do it again next time when I come in town.
You'll be our first repeat offenders.
There we go.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Totally down.
Totally down.
I love you guys.
Long house.
And thanks for coming out.
And we'll do it again soon.
And y'all have my number if you need me.
All right.
Thank you so much.
All right.
Be good.
Happy Halloween.
Happy Halloween.
You too.
Okay.
Bye, Heather.
Bye, Erica.
All right.
That's cool, man.
They're cool.