Name: Get the Ham | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #165
Uploaded: 2019-01-14T14:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Get the Ham | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #165' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-01-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Get the Ham | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #165' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-01-14. Transcript available.

Get the Ham | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #165

let it go let it go let it go what's up you little sock sniffers dude if you
smell your
socks sometime you pick them up and you smell them and see if they got another
day left in them
man i think that's what god does with us sometime he pick you up and he smells
you like
maybe this one could go a little bit more what's up you little sock sniffers
let's go
so
mother may i open my eyes
cause there's a great big world waiting right outside
mother may i raise my voice
raise my voice
do we the people have that choice
mother may i rest my head
though i did not try my best
mother may i sip the wine
mother may i sip the wine
though i did not tend the vine
oh dear you can come for me
oh dear you can comfort me
man sorry i zoned out there for a second that's uh evan bartles and and this is
one of the neat things about the podcast is i got to meet evan bartles this
weekend in omaha
um and people call it different things omaha bro maha you know for guys a lot
of guys um homo ha people call it a couple of fellas call it that dude's just
trying to pick me up too so that was this dude lloyd and uh paul and no thanks
guys i respect y'all but you know i'm still trying to deal with the ladies for
now um but i got to meet evan bartles he came out this man that man that just
sang to us
he came out he came out he came out and he brought his brother he had a brother
you know he's got a brother and um they had some ladies with him and he came
out and uh and it was just nice it was nice to put a um it was nice to put a
face and just a vibe and an energy with with that song right there um and it's
a beautiful song that's the devil god and me by evan bartles and i just thought
maybe when i go to kansas city
kansas city and that's going to be in april i believe uh maybe we'll do an
after show or something with evan or maybe we'll get him to see if he would
come and play before the show
uh as people are coming into the venue or something like that that'd be pretty
sweet
um thank you guys for being here it is january 14th it is the year 2019 we're
in the future uh and welcome to this past weekend
i'm sitting here and um i got uh our producers in the studio today uh nick davis
is in here nick what's going on welcome back theo thank you
i appreciate it um and some of you guys are probably like well what's nick
doing in here
uh i don't know i was just driving over here a little while ago and i just i
don't know i guess
i just needed a little change for today you know sometimes just had to change
some things up and
i mean to be honest i didn't really want to ask him to be on to be honest nick
you know
but that's part of me that just doesn't want to you know it's like afraid of of
change you know
so and this won't be an all the time thing guys it was just something today i
said you know they don't
even really know nick and and i don't know i just i thought it would be
different so welcome nick
thank you thank you and congratulations on your big saints win it's pretty huge
oh yeah well if some
of you guys i remember last year i was doing an episode and the saints uh it
was there was two
minutes left or something i paused the game because i wanted to watch it later
or there was the fourth
quarter the saints were up or something i paused the game i wanted to watch it
later i didn't check any
text on my phone and i recorded the episode at the end my brother calls on the
air and we'll even go
back to that i'm having nick edit this back in if you don't mind nick no
problem and uh and that's
when my brother let me know uh the news that i couldn't believe so no actually
this is a perfect
ending because i'm just finishing up my podcast is the very end and i don't
know what happened i paused
it right after the saints kicked their field goal there was 25 seconds left why
don't you tell me what
happened i want to know well it was 10 seconds left the third and 10 or
whatever they need about
20 yards to get a field goal range 25 yards maybe more than that uh-huh and you
know i'll put it like this
there's a one in 100 chance that the saints lose one percent yeah and they
found that they found that
one percent yeah they lost dude he threw it to tayvon diggs whatever his name
is dude caught it like
40 right right about about probably four feet from the sidelines marcus williams
was right there
like all he had to do was literally pull him to the ground he rolled into the
other cornerback i don't
knew it might have been latimore who it was there and tampon diggs just ran
into the end zone no they
got a touchdown yeah it was zero seconds from the clock it was six seconds left
dude they were like
on our 35 yeah no and they're on 35 or 40 yeah like a one percent chance we
would lose that game at
that point damn man i think they lost like that similar to tampa bay i didn't
see the end of the
game but just kind of a heartbreak man it was a heartbreak man it really was
anyhow omaha was good
dude it snowed bro we got snowed up man i miss snow i miss snow yeah yeah that's
right because
you're from lacrosse wisconsin lacrosse wisconsin the frozen tundra is it
really well green bay
technically but we're frozen tundra adjacent and how cold does it get there
really really cold i lived eight
years minneapolis minnesota and uh my last winter there i think it was 2014
there were 40 straight
days it did not get above zero 40 straight days and what do you do then if you're
so you're indoors
you move to la do you really and but you're indoors now what are you doing
there when you're when
you're indoors you're doing what you have animals or what do you guys do uh
yeah straight hibernation
usually you cuddle up with animals for warmth uh fires um layers lots of layers
if you do have to
brave the cold but yeah most of the time just staying indoors like you said
okay hmm oh i ran
into that fighter too that you that you met nick tell me about that guy oh anthony
lionheart smith
yeah he's he's a nebraskan native and uh he him and his good buddy are listener
this past weekend
listeners left a voicemail a little while ago and it was right before his uh
his last fight against
volkan olsdemir uh if you want to learn about him you can check out theo's olsdemir
that polar pop
yeah oh yeah and he beat him yep yep yeah he bought him uh beat him choked him
out uh and i i bet on
that 20 to 1 20 and because i won that bet i donated to dustin poirier's
foundation oh nice so so yeah
anthony smith he's like a salt of the earth midwestern guy and uh he finally he's
been he's been
fighting for 12 15 years and he's finally getting a title shot yeah man it was
a nice yeah he came out
and he was just the nicest guy he stayed i thought he was too nice i couldn't
believe he was a fighter
you know i was like i don't well i don't know what his finishing move would be
just you know just
fucking hugging somebody to death you know or he might just french kiss
somebody to damn death you
know like i mean i don't know what is i mean he just seemed like the nicest guy
in the world i mean
he i you know he might shake your hand to death you know like damn bro he put
him in that double
handshake and just fucking send him to the lord yeah don't let him don't let
him fool you though he's he's very
dangerous with those elbows and knees it's not a friendly hug we had pants on
and he had long
sleeves so i didn't see any of his weaponry but i definitely could tell that he
was a special guy
you know he had a special look in his eyes it was like a look of um of uh
endless hope and determination that's what he kind of had lionheart yeah yeah
that's funny yeah it's true
i didn't even think about that i think you have to have that to be one of those
fighters i mean you
have to yeah i mean i just can't imagine it dude you know i can't even because
i remember dude if
somebody rolls up behind like at the supermarket somebody gets too close and
carts me in the back
of the ankle dude i'm fucking going down bro you know what i'm saying dude i'm
going down for a nine
count at least you ever been carted in the back of the ankle yes oh that shit
is that should be
somebody's finishing move you know that flat tire yeah where's that yeah where's
that fighter at
i'd love to see one of these female fighters you know maybe shopper mcgillicuddy
or one of these
ladies you know uh that supermarket sweep yeah get the ham and i'll always
remember that was one of
the best shows ever actually supermarket sweep and they would yell get the ham
you always go for
meats and cheeses that i learned early oh that farmer john ham was a 37 item
dude and the fact
they would put the ham and the tide in the cart right next to each other and we
would lose our minds
you can't eat it you can't eat the meat if it's near the tide god dude that i
mean that that show
sent ripples through our family and uh yeah we'll have to have you put in an
editor to just a moment
or two that's from youtube get the ham and supermarket sweep if you haven't
seen this show go back and
watch it it's quite a show but dude what a neat time though because we had evan
bartles came out
um lionheart came out you know that's just listeners and people got together
and i wish i'd have known
i just should have planned a little bit in advance and made it like a
you know just a thing for everybody to be a part of maybe do an after party or
something you know
so maybe we'll try to do something like that in the future but
sounds like just the who's who of omaha rtpw listeners i love that the
celebrities
that's true oh and my boy harrison phillips came out buffalo bills yep and at
first i thought it was
harrison barnes the basketball player so i'm like walking up looking for like a
tall black guy
and uh this big white dude comes up with a necklace on i thought he's gonna try
to sell me a necklace
you know because usually if somebody's wearing a necklace they selling them
and uh and it was harrison phillips man and he plays defensive tackle
over there so it was nice we went to lunch with him um
and just learned all about what it was like to be like a young guy in the nfl
and one thing that was interesting that he told me was uh
he said that
the
that a lot of the older guys for them it's more like a business it seems like
like to him it's still like you know i'm excited i'm
you know stoked to be in the games and they're all excited to play
but for them you know you they start to see it more as
he still has that youthful energy where it's like you know it's
you know there's other possibilities probably in his head in the world and then
some men are older
and they're like okay this is my way of you know making a life for myself
just punching the clock yeah yeah punching the clock i mean excitedly punching
the clock
but knowing that they have to be able to be at work the next year
and uh but i thought that was interesting dude we went out with him
some of his friends there in omaha and it was fun
but that snow dude that shit is
i mean it's unnecessary isn't it
it is it is
but at least you um still made it to all your shows on like chris d'alea
i think he was canceling the show
he canceled the show this week
yeah
because of what
because of snows
oh my god
are you serious
i'm pretty sure
let me say this
let me say this to you
and you know what actually let me say this man
i will never cancel a show
here's what things i won't do
cancel a show
i will never cancel a show
unless if i have
if i lose an arm
you know what i'm saying
say if you know i get in a
you know somebody attacks me with a sword
or somebody
you know i get
you know somebody slams my arm in a trunk
in a sharp trunk
i'll be at my show dude
i got another fucking arm
and chris d'alea with all his money
he couldn't get an umbrella
or a snow hat
or somebody poor to just stand over him
and knock the snow away as it comes near him
what
god dude
the rich man
i'll tell you this
i will never
be rich enough
where i feel like
i don't have to perform
for my audience
you can always count on me
i don't care
dude
i have
i 