Name: Anthrax Challenge #8 | Opening Up Fan Mail with Theo Von
Uploaded: 2019-02-23T04:30:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Anthrax Challenge #8 | Opening Up Fan Mail with Theo Von' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-02-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Anthrax Challenge #8 | Opening Up Fan Mail with Theo Von' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-02-23. Transcript available.

Anthrax Challenge #8 | Opening Up Fan Mail with Theo Von

Welcome to the Anthrax Challenge, and this is where we take in, you know, a lot
of our wonderful listeners and part of the curious crew that listen to this
podcast will send in various items and different things.
And today we like to check and see if any of them have Anthrax in them the old-fashioned
way, not by getting them tested at a center, but by opening them up and seeing
if we perish.
Today we got our little gift twink right here. Little Ted Cruz, they call him,
Giovanni Paolo right here. And he's going to help us open a few up. He's going
to be our elf today, so.
I got one right here from Corey Hatfield, and I'll be a good person. Johnny,
why don't you open that one up? It says fragile on the side, or fraggle.
All right, open it up, Johnny. Any day now, we're getting into it. Johnny's one
of those frickin' lame kids at Christmas that slowly opens his gifts.
He wants to reuse the wrapping paper.
Yeah, I don't know what's going on. Leprosy, maybe. What is leprosy? We don't
know.
Ooh.
What is it?
It looks... Maybe are they recordings of your Theovan Live comedy off-Broadway?
They recorded your sets?
Wow.
Live at Lexington. These are some cool tapes. What else does it say in there?
Is there a note?
No, that's just what it says.
Wow. Theovan Live with Ari Manis. These are some actual tapes.
There's more. More tapes. Oh, this is Ari's set.
Oh, wow.
At Dark Arts Tour, Theovan at Bones Branch Bootlegs.
Wow.
Yeah, there is a note.
To Theo Vaughn. Read on air, if you'd like.
Okay.
That's dope.
Hey, Theo. My name is Corey Hatfield, and I'm from the small town of Phelps,
Kentucky.
I'm a big fan of your comedy and a long-time listener of the podcast.
Myself and my co-worker slash friend Jordan McCown...
Lover.
...attended your 9.45 p.m. show in Lexington on December 7th.
It was my first stand-up comedy show, and I knew you wouldn't disappoint.
You were hilarious, and the show was everything I hoped for it would be and
more.
I just want to say thanks for all the laughs, since I was too anxious to say
anything meaningful
when we met after the show.
Listening to your stand-up sets and podcasts have got me through the rough days.
I wanted to remember the night forever, so I made a recording of the show.
I know the club made an announcement not to, but I dabble in the dark arts from
time to time.
Gang, gang.
See, literally said gang, gang.
That's crazy. Set it out.
I'm a big fan of older forms of media, so I made a fan art bootleg cassette of
your show in Lexington,
complete with a small booklet featuring your tour art.
Don't worry, I'm not selling these.
I included a blue and red case copy for you and had a red one for Ari.
I thought red looked cooler, but I had to do a blue one for the Bluegrass State.
Gang.
The blue case has a photo of me and you after the show inside.
I also included a USB thumb drive with audio of your set in case you don't have
a cassette player to listen to on these.
Anyway, sorry for rambling, and I hope you enjoyed my submission to the hashtag
Anthrax Challenge.
Keep on keeping on and keep doing you.
P.S. We love Gianni.
He didn't say that.
I just...
I can't fathom a guy who's so eloquent in the rest of the notes would then fail
at the end.
God, I just, you know, I wanted some support.
Very nice, man.
Corey, thank you so much, brother.
Corey Hatfield, is that his name?
Correct.
Yes, Corey Hatfield.
And you can check him out.
His Instagram is bonesbranchbootlegs.
What a very sweet and kind gift, brother.
And we got a picture of us right there by that Christmas tree enjoying
Christmas and Christ's gardening.
And thank you, man.
I will give this to Ari, and he will really like having that.
It's very kind of you.
Thank you for that gift.
Oh, wow.
Thank you, Gianni.
So we're getting into this one.
Now, this one has been sitting here for months, okay?
So if this has got anthrax in it...
Christmas in February.
That's it, man.
It's always Christmas here on this past weekend.
You know, you never know what can happen.
This is what happens when you bring a fucking gift to a knife party.
See that?
Dude, you were the kid that never got gifts when you were growing up because
you did that shit to them.
Oh, yeah?
Eat my ass, bucko.
I'm trying to fucking get through Christmas, dude.
If that was anthrax, it's probably expired by now.
Yeah, that's a good point, actually.
I don't know what they're...
And this don't have a note.
Oh, it does have a note.
Theo, just wanted to say a big thank you for everything you do.
Became a huge fan this year when I heard you on Joe Rogan's.
Started listening to your podcast and came to see your show in Raleigh.
Since I figure you're such a big fan of Christmas, I had my mom, Nola, do up a
totally one-of-a-kind Theo Vaughn ornament.
Me and my mom run this small family business in Halifax, VA.
I also teach yoga part-time.
Please accept this as a token of gratitude for being willing to learn, open,
and having a willingness to learn to grow.
Jesse Watkins, gang, gang.
And let's see what this is.
Hand-painted ornaments, the Nola Watkins collection.
Oh, wow.
That's cool.
Oh, LSU, baby.
I know.
I feel bad that we're late to the party to open these.
Can you see those on that cam?
It's always next Christmas.
I feel bad.
Yeah, these are very beautiful.
But next Christmas.
It's Christmas here always.
It's true.
Just like you said.
If you will, we'll have to write a note to ourselves, Nick, if you don't mind.
Look at those Go Tigers.
These are all hand-painted.
Beautiful hitters right there.
You see that?
I love their name's Nola, too.
And she's from there.
Yeah, Nola.
New Orleans.
Oh, wow.
And they got that Feliz Naughty Dog, baby, right there.
And we're definitely stealing that statement.
That Feliz Naughty Dog.
And why don't you open that last one up, Gianni?
See what it is.
Some Go Tigers.
These are beautiful.
Gang, gang.
Gang, gang.
Whoa!
That's crazy, bro.
Look at that.
Dang, dude.
I definitely look like somebody you should not let over to the house.
You look Asian a little, you know?
Yeah, that's how I look.
Dude, look at me longer next time, you delinquent.
You don't even know what people look like.
So, do you see this, Nick?
Yeah, it's beautiful.
I'm just zooming in a little bit.
Wow, very nice.
Thank you so much.
And we will put that advert up there.
The Nola Watkins Collection.
Halifax VA.
And we'll put the link in the information.
It's very sweet of you.
It's beautiful.
Yep, very kind.
Okay, here we go.
This is from whom?
This is from Artbeat Studios.
Wow, what is this going to be?
This is so cool.
I know what it is.
You do?
Yeah.
I know what it is last summer.
Have you seen that movie?
Yeah.
It's I Know What You Did Last Summer.
Good movie.
Good movie.
Wasn't that good.
What kind of movies do you like?
Let me think.
League of Their Own.
Time to Kill.
Bridges of Madison County, of course.
Bridges of Madison County.
I haven't seen it.
Dog Tales, the movie.
I've seen that one.
I haven't seen the rest of them.
Up.
Dunkirk.
Yeah, Dunkirk.
One of the only good movies ever.
I love that Ari, on our recent episode, he quoted a direct.
He quoted you on an Instagram clip.
Man helping man.
What I don't understand about Ari is how does he run an Instagram?
He doesn't have a phone.
He must schedule time to look at it.
Can you help with that?
I don't know what this is.
What is it?
Oh, my God.
It's Theobraham Lincoln.
No.
Yes.
Wow.
And I believe this came from Marty, our Drastic Graphics.
Did he really?
Yeah.
Marty O'Neill.
Martin O'Neill at Drastic Graphics, and they make a lot of quality items over
there,
and they do a lot of our social media and this and that.
That's so cool.
Theobraham Von Lincoln.
Dang.
God, dude.
Lincoln's got kind of a big nose.
That's the first thing I noticed about him.
It looks just like yours, dude.
You guys look...
Yeah, that's a joke, dude.
Wow.
Wow.
Thank you so much, Marty.
That's super cool.
Dang, dude.
This is really cool, man.
I really feel like it's Christmas in here.
No anthrax yet?
Nothing.
What do you got, Johnny?
Get in there.
Get in there.
Who's that one from, Johnny?
It's from Sasha Bailey.
From where?
What city?
She's from Louisiana.
Sasha Bailey out of Louisiana.
Let's see that item, Johnny.
The old acquaintance be forgot.
It's already New Year's.
That's how long it's taking you to open this gift, dude.
Dude, there's so much fucking tape on this thing.
Slowest Christmas guy ever, Gianni.
Look at you.
You said you were a high school wrestler?
You can't even get into that gift, bro.
I never wrestled once in my life.
Yeah, you said you did, though.
Or you act like you did.
Damn, dude.
This is a fucking...
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
You give me all the shitty gifts, dude.
Really?
I think it's a great gift.
Why don't you open it?
Okay.
Not everybody's such a...
Just a straight-up mollusk.
Wow, look at this guy.
Here's a game show.
Open a present, Gianni.
Unbelievable.
We're going on two minutes now, Gianni, trying to get in here.
Wow, I wonder how long it'll take him to unroll this piece of rolling.
Let's see what it is.
Ooh, it smells like paint.
It does.
Let's see it.
So it's odd to me?
There's a note.
Who is it, Nick?
I think that's me.
Wow.
It's a beautiful, preemie Nick.
Hi, Theo.
I hope this letter finds you well, and I'd firstly like to thank you for
receiving this message
and for making space for the discussion of men's mental health, a subject I,
too, have been
navigating throughout the years.
I am proud to pay homage to Alexander the Great and shed light on what it feels
and what I feel his legend was meant.
His image represents the historic male archetype of war, dominance, and power.
A ruthless legend born in July 365 BC, 356 BC, with the behind-the-scenes
nature of open sexuality and timidness.
He was taught and raised by the great philosopher Aristotle, a personality full
of depth.
He also battled with alcohol, shows symptoms of PTSD and even depression.
Yet despite this, he has been given a life full, a life glorified in the image
of war legend with a 15-year undefeated streak.
Wow.
Representing by a crown of delicate leaves, the great Alexander.
That's beautiful, man.
So Alexander the Great, Aristotle's little side piece right there, and he had
mental health issues.
You know, and you can see he's got something wrong with his brain right there.
It's turning gold.
That's very sweet of you.
Sarah Martin.
Sarah Martin.
Thank you so much for this.
I didn't know Alexander the Great wasn't that great in the head.
He looks like a woman, kind of.
Yeah.
He looked very much like Carmen Esposito a little bit, that female comedian, or
Rhea Blanchard, whatever that other lady's name is.
Maria Bamford.
No, Rhea Blanchard.
Oh.
Some other lady who's angry about something.
Thank you very much, Ms. Martin.
You really, really struck a chord with us today.
Thea, which one do you want?
With this beautiful art piece.
You want a big one?
I got this one right here.
Okay, cool.
So this one is coming to us from the pride of Stefan Motiak.
Also been here quite some time.
This one has been here a long time, so definitely, if this has anthrax, there's
probably even a new strand out by now.
Let's see what Stefan did.
Dude, how'd you open that so fast?
Well, it's called being an adult.
And Stefan wrote this here.
From Wisconsin, Stefan Motiak.
Gang, gang.
And he sent that.
Oh, it's Louisiana for Theo.
See?
Nice.
It's that wild, it's a wild, unique way of seeing the state.
And there's some birds in there, too, and different types of birds.
Thank you, Stefan.
Fucking not going to fool me this time.
Open it up.
Don't touch me, bro.
That's that.
Wow.
That's that don't get raped hitter, you know?
Yeah.
If you don't want to get raped, dude, then wear that.
And here's Stefan as well.
Brissette this.
Is that like his signature or something that he uses to do the drawing?
Yep.
Stefan's doing, he's caught up in the dark arts, obviously.
Clearly.
He's created his own way of drawing.
He's very, he could be a hieroglyphist.
So this was from 