Name: State Wars March Madness Pt. 2 w/ Jo Koy | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #185
Uploaded: 2019-03-29T03:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'State Wars March Madness Pt. 2 w/ Jo Koy | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #185' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-03-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'State Wars March Madness Pt. 2 w/ Jo Koy | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #185' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-03-29. Transcript available.

State Wars March Madness Pt. 2 w/ Jo Koy | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #185

Today's episode is brought to you by Greyblock Pizza. Greyblock Pizza, 1811 Pico
Boulevard in Los Angeles, and their sister company, Bronx Born Pizza, out in
Bend, Oregon. Greyblock and Bronx Born. Get them hitters.
Today's guest is a comedian that has worked harder than any other. This man is,
well actually hell, we don't even really know each other that good.
But there's a chance we could get to know each other better right now in the
next hour. He has a new tour out right now called Break the Mold. He's
everywhere. You can get tickets at joecoy.com.
Ladies and gentlemen, today's guest is Joe Coy.
I always think, uh, like things that you could do. You do? Yeah, I'm not lying.
So wait, every time you watch my videos, Joe Coy, you always think of things
that I could do? Like, what do you mean? Well, just like, cause I'm, I'm so.
Like stunts or something? Like flips? No, no, no. No, it's like, I'm always
like, I don't know if you know this, man. But, you know, we've only talked a
couple times. Like, we've been friends through the industry.
And we've always been like, you know, like when we saw each other at the clubs,
it's like, Hey Theo, Hey Joe. You know, it never went really further than that.
A couple small talk type things.
But like, you always reached out to me. Yeah. Like when you went and shot your,
uh, your special and I always reach out to you. I always get in your head, you
get mine. But, um, I just love your hustle and grind. Right. So like, so I
really enjoy, I love watching things that inspire me and move me forward. You
know what I mean? So, uh, fuck man, there was something I wanted to say and I
just walked on it. It sucks.
But when you came out with the animation, that character, like the first thing
I said to myself, I was like, first of all, this is a show like a, this is the
new Simpsons right here. Whatever this is, it's fucking amazing. Your eye
structure, whoever that. Oh yeah. Accurate. It's beautiful. It's fucking
beautiful. It should be, it should be a stuffed animal. It should be on t-shirts.
I mean, I got built in vertigo, bro. Right in the fucking, you know, in the
eyes are almost even dude.
Almost. But what I love about that, that whole, your, your, your rants. Yeah.
Your 60 second rants. Um, I, I almost see in that either coming to life or even
seeing a live action where you're on stage, where you introduce something with
that animation and then go into standup. Like it's something that you go back
and forth on. Oh, that'd be interesting. Well, one, because there's so many
people that are doing that, that type of situation where they're throwing like
Hassan and, and I think Chelsea did it.
Did it, you know what I mean? And they do the, they use the visual, but nothing
more original than yours. Like it would be just you doing like your standup and
then boom, you throw it to it. Gang. Yeah. You know what I mean? And then you
throw to it. Just like how Chappelle would, how Chappelle would intro his, his
bit. Right. Like to the audience. And then, and then go to.
Like how Cat Williams would enter, like introduce a panther into the fucking,
or a tiger. Or a tiger. Yeah. He was like right in the middle of his joke.
Right in the middle of his joke. He has six bitches holding, holding, holding
an urn of some, of someone he murdered.
Someone he murdered. But no one questions what's in it, but they know there's
something dead in there. For sure. My mama's in this motherfucker.
Man, he was great, man. Great. Are you kidding me? And here's the thing. This
is what I don't like about the internet.
You only know the guy that you see that's getting 15 million views because he's
getting choked out by somebody or he did something fucked up in Ontario.
You know what I mean? Yeah. We've all done something fucked up. Yeah. But, but
no one knows, like, are you friends with him? Because I'm friends with him.
Oh, no, I'm not friends with him. I wish I was. I saw him. I saw Cat Williams
one time. Yeah. This is the craziest thing. Yeah.
I was standing on the front porch of the comedy store. And you know, sometimes
you see people that have those bikes that have like the colors lit up in the
middle.
It's like the lights in them. And you're like, there was a group of, you know,
kind of urban gentlemen driving down the street together.
Yeah. And I looked and, uh, and the main one, it was back talking to his
buddies, was Cat Williams.
And this is like four years ago. Like, this is not like 30 years ago when he
was a kid. This is like, there was just four, you know, legit gentlemen just
cruising down the street.
Wait, are you talking about motorcycles or bicycles? Bicycles. With those like
lit up, like it's like fluorescent. It has, you know, has electricity going
through the, some type of piping in the wheels.
And it's colorful. So you see these. And I thought it was going to be for, you
know, tender gentlemen, because it was kind of gay color.
Yeah. Yeah.
But it was, uh, for real deals, man, rolling down the street.
Yeah. And then you were like, that's Cat.
Yeah. I was like, oh, that's Cat Williams.
That's Cat Williams.
And it was Cat Williams. I mean, you know Cat Williams when you see Cat
Williams.
Yeah.
And it was Cat Williams.
I go way back when he had a show, uh, at a casino and he used to, he'll put me
up every now and then. This is way back, man. We're talking like, I'd have to
say 16 years ago.
Oh yeah.
Or someone, and I think he used to go by Cat in the Hat.
Oh really?
Yeah. He used to go by Cat in the Hat.
My friend had a cat and they named it Williams and he'd be like, oh, that's Cat
Williams.
That's Cat.
Pretty cool, man.
But I'm telling you what the thing about Cat is people don't know how nice the
guy is, man.
Oh, I've heard amazing things about him.
He's so nice. He adopts all his kids. He's got so many kids that he adopts. He
was so nice to me. I remember I did BET's comic for you. This is so far back.
Yeah.
And this is like, I didn't have an Asian.
This is back when you were black.
This is when I was a black comic. This is before I became a Latino comic.
It wasn't for like 11 years when I was like, wait a minute, I'm an Asian comic
and I have a Filipino mom with a voice. Hold on.
By the end, you're Michael Jackson.
Oh, my God. And I still did. And I did that at the Apollo. And I won. How's
that? At a black show.
Amen.
Standing up.
Yep.
Amen.
Shaka-doom-da.
And then it was so funny because I fly into New Orleans and I forgot where we
were shooting it, but I had no agent, no manager.
I didn't get shot anywhere there.
I just bought a plane ticket. It was a black show, black entertainment
television. So they forgot that I was even flying in.
Of course not.
No one picked me up.
No one picked me up, bro. Swear to God. And I'm standing there with another
comic that was on the show. I forget his name.
Yeah.
Oh, my God. You know who else was on that show? Oh, my God.
They have some of the strange.
Oh, Earthquake?
No, stop. No. Come on. Little Duvall was on that.
Little Duvall.
This was his first ever TV appearance.
Real Little Duvall.
It was me, Little Duvall. And he was really little. He was young. He earned the
name Little. You know what I mean?
He was like 17 or some shit.
People were like, it was a magnetic.
Now he's 46.
Now he's weird.
Yeah, now it's like, oh, come on.
Just go Duvall.
Be middle-aged Duvall.
You know?
Be old Duvall.
Yeah, be old Duvall.
How about old Duvall or elderly?
Elderly Duvall.
But all I know is I was standing there and I'm just like, I'm literally
homeless, bro.
I had like 150 bucks to my name.
I'm trying to get to this hotel.
I remember saying to myself, maybe I can catch a shuttle.
I tried to pick up, you know those phones that show you all the hotels and you
pick it up
and press the number at the airport?
Yes.
That fucking never works.
Yeah.
They never fucking work, man.
It doesn't go to the hotel.
Oh, we'll send a shuttle.
Yeah, we'll send a shuttle.
It's literally, it's usually a woman that sounds like a, could possibly doing
it.
It's somebody doing an impersonation of a black woman.
Yeah, it is.
Saying, oh, we'll send a shuttle.
Yeah.
Hang up.
It's a red-headed white chick.
Dude, in New Orleans, it goes to a Popeye's and they're like, oh, drive around.
That's so funny.
New Orleans is crazy, man.
Oh, yeah, the travel lodge.
Yeah, that comes with two pieces of biscuits and honey.
What?
No, I want a bed.
Motherfucker, there ain't no bed in this box of chicken.
Yeah.
Look, how about this?
We'll put a side item under your pillow.
You know what I'm saying?
What?
Let's call it a night.
Yo, you want the Howard Johnson?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, the Howard Johnson come with bacon mashed potatoes.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, come around.
What?
And we don't have them on the menu, but I have a couple of servants right here
in my purse.
Yeah, I got some servants right here.
You gonna, hey, you gonna come around, motherfucker, hand the phone to the next
customer.
What?
What are you talking about?
What, you on a bicycle?
You on a bicycle?
Hey, does it light up in the middle?
Yeah.
Don't be embarrassed.
Drive around here.
Drive around here.
Yeah, you crazy.
You want a gallon of sugar tea?
Yeah, yeah.
Don't bring a gun.
Don't bring a gun through here.
Don't bring a gun.
Don't bring a, we got guns.
We got guns.
Yeah, I'm about to fucking cook this six piece with a fucking shotgun.
I'm about to shoot up this fucking thigh.
You want an AK grill fucking drumstick?
Yo, what you want?
You want a little oozy finger?
You want a little oozy fingers with hot mustard?
Yeah, I know.
What is that?
I just want to.
Yeah, I'm going to dip the end of this shotgun in some ranch.
You want to fucking blow your brains out, buddy.
Wait, I just want to go to bed.
Yeah, you about to go to bed.
You about to go to bed, motherfucker.
You about to.
Motherfucker, this a threat?
Yeah.
This travel eyes, Popeye's, bitch.
This Howard Johnson, motherfucker.
This Howard Johnson Denny's, man.
I'm about to fucking put syrup on your pillow, bitch.
Yo, Grand Slam, motherfucker.
It's definitely different in New Orleans, man.
It's so different.
So anyways, I'm standing outside, and Cat pulls up in a limo.
Wow.
He just pulls up.
The limo, well, he doesn't pull up.
The limo pulls up, and he pulls up right behind me, and he's like,
Joe Coy, what you doing?
I'm like, man, they forgot to send me in.
Man, just get in the car, man.
And I get in the car.
Wow.
He drives me.
We get to the hotel.
Of course, my room's not ready.
Cat's is.
They got two people smoking in your room.
Cat got the whole.
Cat got the 13th floor.
Yeah.
Yeah, you got nine rooms.
And then I'm just trying to wait for a twin.
Yeah.
And mine's not ready.
And he takes me out to breakfast.
Yeah.
Like, that's the kind of stuff he does, man.
And he called you Gary Owen the whole time.
Yeah, he called me Gary Owen.
Come on, Henry Cho.
Dude, Gary Owen.
What happened to your accent, Henry?
Gary Owen introduced me.
He needs to come out of the wazit, bro.
And that's white people that are actually black.
He needs to come out of the fucking wazit.
And you know Gary Owen's in there.
Who else is in there?
Rosie O'Donnell.
Rosie O'Donnell?
Oh, yeah.
Rosie O'Donnell.
Dude, she's urban, bro.
Yeah.
She has, you know, she has an Amistad fucking tat on her arm.
I've never seen Rosie O'Donnell.
Yeah.
She hangs out at all the black clubs.
Whispers.
Rumors.
Black clubs always have like a secret name.
Yeah.
Secrets.
Yeah.
Secrets.
I've been to Secrets.
Whispers.
I've been to Whispers before.
Have you ever been to Hush Hush?
No, I haven't.
It's good, man.
Be quiet.
That's their slogan.
Yeah.
Hush Hush.
Be quiet.
Snitches is across the street.
Oh, Snitches.
No one goes there.
No one goes there.
Snitches are bitches and they get stitches.
I don't go there anymore.
Nobody goes to Snitches, man.
I go to Hush Hush.
Yeah.
I go to Hush Hush.
The logo's like this.
Just the index figure over the list.
And it turns into a musical note around the hand.
Yeah.
They do jazz.
Oh, y