Name: Single Mom's Night Out - Kansas City, MO | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
Uploaded: 2019-04-23T22:34:27.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Single Mom's Night Out - Kansas City, MO | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-04-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Single Mom's Night Out - Kansas City, MO | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-04-23. Transcript available.

good afternoon we have a lovely young lady coming out to meet us today and her
name is Francesca and she has a couple children but today stay home kids
because
it's mom only sometimes as a pain as a as an adult you want to have a child
like time and you don't want to do you know have to do DMT or do something like
that to get that experience so today we thought we would take Francesca out for
a little bit of joy and myself for some joy a little co-joy and go to here
power
play and this is a place where they have go-karts so Vamanos
Hey Theo this is Leslie I'm in Kansas City can't wait to see you when you come
the
reason I'm calling is my daughter I'm so proud of her I mean she's a single mom
she's got five kids and she's done such a good job I love her dearly I think
she
would be perfect for your mom's night out and she could certainly use it
how are you good I'm Theo you are Francesca and Maggie nice to see you guys
yeah thanks
so much for meeting us today I just thought maybe we would go-kart
we picked the worst driver really side of the river to take she's a bad driver
well let's go get
sign up for the car do you want to? yeah okay cool let's do it
how do you ladies be here? I'm like a winner
did you guys ever wear these helmets in like just everyday mothering?
for sure sometimes I feel like it's a good idea I could actually probably get a
nap in
I could probably not listen to a lot of things I don't need to hear and then
for safety
hey hey how y'all doing ladies
I'm ready I'm ready
yep
if I could reach these pedals I'd be extra
if you could reach the pedals you know
hey back off fella she's already got five children
oh man I'm an asshole
alright this is it
racing is important that men don't do it well
racing it's life
anything that happens before or after
just waiting
I'm gonna give uh a round of applause I want to thank you guys who uh support
the podcast I want to thank you for coming out
I want to thank you guys who uh support the podcast I want to thank you for
coming out
um
um
um we have a lovely single mom that came out tonight
I want to thank you for coming out too
and she's fucking real cool actually so if you didn't have five I might try to
get one you know
um
um
um
you know one of the hardest working men I've ever known in my life is my mother
right
hello
hello
hey Francesca what up it's Theo
hi
hey how are you
good how are you
doing pretty good
uh
just hanging out at the podcast studio what are you up to today
well I just got home from work
getting ready to
get ready to
feed these fools dinner
yeah what are those little bastards having tonight
hamburgers and hot dogs
because it's warm outside
that's what I'm talking about
well that's awesome
do you guys have big
do you guys have big plans for the summertime
um
no
we just hang out around here
usually it's
it's so expensive to go places
so usually
a lot of years I'll get like
worlds of fun passes
and that is our
because I'll tell them
that is our vacation
because that's about
maxing me out
so
yeah
we'll go and
we'll uh
hang out there
the pool
that's pretty much just what we do
yeah
that's fun
uh
and I had fun too
doing the race cars
that was pretty fun
I wish we'd gotten to go longer
I know
and I haven't done anything like that for so long
it was
it was really nice
and I appreciate that so much
I was like not expecting any of that at all
oh
I appreciate you guys coming out and spending uh
spending time with us
I look I hadn't done something like that in a long time either
we had a great time
um
and your sister's hilarious dude
you guys are so funny
she is
she
cracks me up
and when we're together
it's like
it's even worse
and a lot of times
people don't even know what we're talking about
or laughing about
but
we are cracking up the whole
the whole time
it's like we have our own language
yeah
but it's like that with all of us
we have a brother
too
and my other sister
it's
we always have a good time together
but I think this was the funniest
for sure
the funniest one I've been on by far
like you guys were just super funny
Maggie is that your sister's name?
that's awesome
yes Maggie
yeah that was great man
yeah I had fun
and
she's quick and she's witty
she is hilarious
yeah
she's witty
she's witty
she reminded me a little bit of like
a young young Roseanne
or that kind of humor
you know?
she would be honored to hear that
we love Roseanne
me too
I do too
I think if I had a dream
to do a TV show
it would be to do one with her
oh my goodness
here
I know
wouldn't that be crazy?
who knows?
you never know
we put it out in the air
I feel like Roseanne
I mean that's like
she's like
the
family that
she represents
is exactly
how
we are here
yeah
yeah I agree
and it's like something
you don't even see out there anymore
I mean it's still
it's still happening
in a lot of places
but you don't see any representation
of it a lot of times
no
we don't like to talk about it
yeah
agreed
that's not your secret
but I live it every day
yeah I feel you
100%
damn
yeah
so good
then I know that you have the kids
you know this summer and stuff
so I just wanted
on behalf of this past weekend
and our
our Patreon group
that we have here
we just wanted to
to give you guys
just a little gift
I'm gonna have Nick send over
so you guys can do something fun
this summer
oh my goodness
that is amazing
I don't even
if that'll pay for sandwiches
at the dang food park
these days
at the water park
you have no idea
how I could stretch a dollar
with these kids
it's unreal
well look
stretch that suck a fart
you know what I'm saying
look I think
you gotta put kids through hell
you better put them through sheer hell
if you want them to be good adults
you know
oh and that's
we've been through a lot together
me and them
and it has been
rough
there's days that you know
I'll get on them
or I'll have to tell them
I'm sorry guys
I'm still
I'm trying
like
yeah
I feel like a shitty mom today
but I'll try harder tomorrow
oh wow
sometimes it gets you down pretty hard
you know
it's just nice to
to be a part of like
a fun moment
in somebody's life
a mother
you know
when I couldn't do the same thing
when I was young
you know
and now I can do it
and we can have fun
and it was inspiring
and I thought you and your sister
were really smart
and I love the conversation
that we had in the car
and it was
it was just a joy
I look forward to doing it again
Thank you for saying that
I really appreciate it
because it's definitely
going to be a stamp on my life
and I
from the bottom of my heart
I appreciate all of it
because this has
been all for them
but it was nice
to take a break
and like
just make this
kind of an end of
what I've had going on
and to start fresh
it was like
the most perfect timing
the timing could not
have been any better
so I appreciate all of it
I appreciate all of it
Yeah well I'm glad
I can
I know that you
I feel like we're
kind of the same person
in a lot of ways
and I'm glad
I think we have
a lot in common
I had such a good time
and my sister
had a great time too
Yeah you guys are
a couple of goofballs
but I love y'all
and I hope you have
a good day
This has been amazing
it really has
so thank you
Oh well it was fun
for me
Yeah we had a great time
and you guys have a good
have a good evening over there
good luck with them Franks
dude make them eat them
in the yard
no ketchup either
if people aren't behaving
Oh god ketchup is like
a staple over here
Oh damn dude
yeah
Oh dude we used to hide
my brother used to hide
the mustard in his bed
Well that's like
I heard you talk about
one time hiding peanut butter
I'm seriously
and my kids just like
yeah that's how you know
when you hit it
because I have to hide
peanut butter
because damn it
if I have to go buy
more peanut butter
these lunches
I'm gonna go nuts
Oh dude one time
my mom gave me a lunch
it was just bread
with a knife in it
nothing else
no peanut butter
it's fucking awesome
have a good night
I'll talk to y'all soon
okay thank you
you too
alright bye Francesca
oh man she's
she's the best