Name: Sam Tripoli | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #206
Uploaded: 2019-06-13T13:25:45.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Sam Tripoli | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #206' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-06-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Sam Tripoli | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #206' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-06-13. Transcript available.

Sam Tripoli | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #206

Today's episode is brought to you by Gray Block Pizza. Gray Block, get that hitter.
Today's guest has a new special, comedy special that is, that is available on
the YouTubes.
And we will put that link right here below.
As well, he's a friend of mine. He's a very unique man. Very rare. He's that
rare earth element.
Something you find deep down in the dirt. He's the host of Tinfoil Hat Podcast.
And he is on the cutting edge of every conspiracy theory.
I mean, I've fallen victim to the dark arts and dabbled in them, but I've never
gone spelunking in them.
Like this sweet chap here has. My guest today is Mr. Sam Tripoli.
Always a pleasure, bud. I love you. I'm so happy you're doing well.
Well, we're doing all right. We can't decide what to paint. We don't know what
we're going to do.
Those are good problems to have.
Yeah, but what did you just ask me a second ago?
Did you just buy Bitcoin?
I feel, I'm an everyday guy, man. I make all the poor choices that every other
guy makes, right?
So, about a year ago, I bought probably $2,900 worth of Bitcoin.
Yeah.
And I would be up all night trying to figure out how to open up my Monero
wallet.
And I was up switching and then I was buying all kinds of like, it went from
Bitcoin to Litecoin to like Mert.
There was like something else. There was Lupita Nyong. I think I bought some of
that one time.
I was buying some deep shit, bro. I was deep in the Bitcoin universe.
Digital currency.
And then it all went out.
But then it's done well. Now it's gone back up. It's worth like eight grand now.
Has it?
Yeah.
Oh, I didn't even, I quit paying attention because I had lost all of my money.
And it was embarrassing.
I'd say you'll hold on to it.
It became embarrassing to discuss.
Like, who would know?
Well, every guy, I could tell with the look in every guy's eyes that everybody
had done the same thing.
Look at that, dude. It's up to that.
So the reason I say buy Bitcoin is because the economy is about to drop out of
nowhere and that's going to be the stuff that can't get touched.
So you buy a bunch of that and as everybody's dying to get, trying to get their
money out of the banks, you don't have to worry about it because you got your
Bitcoin chilling like a, you know, a villain.
Bitcoin, huh?
Bitcoin.
You know, I have a lot of it.
I just can't figure out where it's at and how to get it.
Dude, the best part of this is that some dude was selling Chuck E. Cheese
tokens to people as Bitcoins and people were buying these for like five grand,
dude.
He was like, yo, you want a Bitcoin, dude?
I got one right here and people were buying them.
Unreal.
Or like a couple hundred bucks, I guess.
And who were the people?
Just regular people, huh?
The streets, homeboy, the streets.
Well, dude, I started getting emails from buddies being like, hey, you want to
invest in this coin we're making?
Yeah, I do.
Some people do that too.
Why would I invest in a coin?
In just some made up shit.
That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of.
It is stupid as shit.
Do you really think this is the future, Samuel?
I think that the banks, see, so every country has what they call a centralized
bank and these centralized banks can do something called fractional.
Fictional reserve banking, which means that they can loan out $10 for every $1
they have in the bank, which is basically funny money.
It's like Monopoly money.
When you're playing Monopoly with your little brother and you're like, hey,
dude, I'll buy that.
And you just grab like purple money and throw it at your brother and he's like,
oh, man, I got all this money.
You're like, well, it's not real money.
Right, it's fictional money.
It's just like hedging.
It's like just credit.
Yeah, it's made up money, dude.
And that's really what these really smart lizards did.
They made this fucking make up money and they bribed everybody with it.
But eventually what happens is everybody invests in all this money, right?
And then the people at the real top who have all the actual wealth, which they
say of all the wealth in the world, only 20% of it's real.
And they have this 20%.
Eventually they pull their notes in and it all collapsed and they're the only
ones with money.
But with this Bitcoin, they can't do that.
Oh, wow.
So this is finally people striking back against the federal reserves, against
the people with the gold bars.
Do you know how we got the Federal Reserve?
And you can tell me to shut up anytime.
No, dude, I would never do that.
The Federal Reserve came, Woodrow Wilson, on Christmas Eve when everybody left
Washington, D.C., he gave us two bills that he signed and nobody voted on.
The Federal Reserve and the income tax.
We used to only pay taxes, personal taxes, when we were in war.
Oh, really?
And when we weren't in war, there was no personal tax.
He brought both those in at the exact same time.
If I could fight anybody in history, I'd fight Woodrow Wilson.
Really?
Yeah, I'd fucking knuckle up with that dude hard.
But do you think, so why did he do it?
Because did you think he had a back end from the government or something?
Yeah, he had bankers.
This thing is called the monster from Jekyll Island.
All these bankers met on Jekyll Island.
They brought in Federal Reserve.
Now you want to hear something really crazy?
Mm-hmm.
That's why I brought you here.
Yeah, okay.
Oh, that's one of the reasons why I'm glad you're here today.
That's what I meant.
And then I'll stop after this.
Abraham Lincoln, the real reason the Civil War happened wasn't slavery.
That was part of it.
But the real thing was, is that basically the United States no longer wanted a
centralized bank.
And it got to the point where Abraham Lincoln issued something called greenbacks.
And these were his dollar bills.
And if you can actually find a greenback, it's worth a lot of money.
So what happened was that the international bankers went to the South and go,
listen, you can keep slaves.
We have to have a centralized bank.
And they agreed to that.
And what was about to happen was that Britain and Spain were going to come in
on the side of the South.
Well, Alexander II from Russia heard about this and they just kicked out all
the international bankers out of Russia.
He sent naval ships, Russian naval ships to the U.S. shores and said, if you
get involved in this, Britain and Spain, we're going to get involved on the
side of the North.
And they pulled out and then it was just mano-a-mano.
And that's how it didn't happen.
Nobody ever knows that, dude.
Is that Alexander II came in on the side of Abraham Lincoln?
Slippery Al, they call him, running around.
That's crazy, man.
It's just all money goes back to the dollars, man.
Everything goes back.
They didn't want, yeah, I mean, here's the thing, man.
Would you have a slave if they had him now?
Everybody, if it was.
Would I have a slave?
I probably couldn't afford it.
But say you could afford it.
I mean, probably not.
I mean, I'm just not really into that.
I barely can tell my dog what it does.
You have an iPhone, though.
I do have an iPhone.
Okay, that's a point.
You know what I'm saying?
That was like people were doing their job and not doing it real well.
They were lost.
Yeah.
People were confused.
You know, people were out there and suddenly somebody came by with something
that was just.
Like, hey, dude, they'll do the work.
Just better.
Yeah.
I mean, do you bring it up?
Valid point.
Now, here's one thing that I think a lot of times people don't think about
thinking about slavery was you think they just think, oh, all white people had
slavery.
Dude, only rich people.
Dude, basically the equivalent of Bill Gates and Zuckerberg owned slaves at
that time.
And that's always the problem.
It's always that 1% that basically causes all the problems.
You know, there's levels to this shit.
Yeah.
And everybody gets in fights with each other over just race and sex and gender
and sexuality.
When in reality, it's levels of finance.
It's rich versus poor, but they'll never get us all to come together on that
shit.
Broke-ass motherfuckers, man.
I'm from broke-ass town.
I'm upstate New York.
My county had the highest rate of incest and welfare recipients in all of New
York State.
Praise God, baby.
Yeah, praise God.
Like, it was shady as shit, dog.
We were shady, dude.
Oh, that's neck tattoo country.
That's Jessamay Peluso country.
Yeah, that is.
She's 315.
She's the best.
I'm 607.
She's amazing, man.
She is amazing.
So, we're shady.
Like, my mom used to teach schools, and she would always tell me about kids
coming to school
dirty, dirty clothes, dirty underwear, no money for food, drug-addicted parents.
Who am I, where am I talking about?
You know?
It's like, dude, we're more alike than we are different.
Remember Lice?
Oh, yeah, dude.
Getting the measles back when it didn't mean nothing.
Dude, I remember telling some kids in Beverly Hills about Lice.
They thought it was a rap group.
They thought it was like, I'm like, no, dude.
You fucking lice, man.
Dude, yeah, people going through your hair and shit.
I'm talking about bugs in your fucking brain.
Yeah, dude.
I'm talking about you have so many lice in your hair that they're fucking
parting your
hair at lunch just to fuck around.
Dude, you got fucking, like, highways in your head and shit.
I'm talking about you're talking to somebody, and a couple of lice have just
fucking mosey
on down your cheek.
You know what I'm talking about?
They were explorers.
They were over there.
Oh, that's freaking Lice and Clark, bro.
I'm talking about the original chemtrails, bro.
Yeah, dude.
You know, tan a couple of stray lice.
Some stray lice just on their own, trying to fucking find better lands.
Dude, whenever you walked in here, so, you know, we're talking, and Nick and
Gianni are
in here, too.
And we're talking that you, next door, there's a pornography management company.
What is it, Nick?
Agency.
Agency.
Dude, let me just tell you something.
What happened to porn?
Dude, well, first, let me tell you this.
I was, I was probably, in the past nine months, I bet I've watched porn twice
for the first
time in my life.
Yeah, I'm getting off on that shit.
I'm getting, I'm getting off it.
Okay, good.
Yeah, you have to move the comma in that sentence, otherwise.
Yeah, I'm getting off it.
Otherwise, you're just coming at the house, really.
Dude, I do joke about that.
And my life has changed, bro.
It has changed.
Of course, dude.
Bro, my desire is slowly, it's crazy, I never thought it would be this way, but
it's slowly
coming back to be a little bit more normal.
Yeah.
It really is, and I never thought it could happen.
And I just realized that a week ago, I was like, man, I just have a little more
realistic
interest in the opposite sex, not just this, like, kind of compulsive interest
that ends
up with me just jerking off at home.
Yeah.
Well, dude, I mean, it gets weird.
They're still making porn.
I can't believe that.
I mean, I'm beating off to porn from 2008 still.
Most of the chicks I beat off to are dead, you know what I'm saying?
Oh, yeah.
Praise God, man.
They're fucking gone, dude.
And should they have a section in there that is for, like, these are deceased?
Yeah.
Dude, the immemorium at the AVNs is literally half the show.
It's like half the people they lost that year.
It just keeps going, dude.
And why is it killing?
Is it excessive sex that's killing people?
Yeah, they're ODing on dick.
No, dude, it's just like, they're like comics, man.
Listen, dude, if you realize how similar comics and porn stars are, we have the
exact same
business model, dude.
Okay?
They do a porno.
We do a special.
They do cams.
We do podcasting.
Wow.
We tour off our podcast.
They tour off their camming and their pornos.
When we're the top act of the club, we're headliners.
When they're the top act at a strip bar, they're headliners.
They have fans only.
We have Patreon.
I mean, it's the exact same model.
Drug problems, daddy issues, all the exact same thing.
Yeah.
And we just die left and right, dude.
Yeah, man.
You 