Name: DELETED SCENE: Theo Von Addresses #TheoGate
Uploaded: 2019-07-03T19:35:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'DELETED SCENE: Theo Von Addresses #TheoGate' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-07-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'DELETED SCENE: Theo Von Addresses #TheoGate' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-07-03. Transcript available.

And another thing, speaking on conspiracies, hashtag Theogateboy, gang gang.
Everybody keeps bringing it up.
What is Theogate?
Yeah, man.
I mean, people think, I'll say this, man.
I feel, I felt like Tom and Christina, it's about Tom and Christina, their
podcast, Your Mom's House.
And I've always felt like Your Mom's, that Tom's just never really been
friendly with me when I see him.
So, I don't know what to do, Liz.
Well, I mean, I'll just say that you and them are some of the nicest people I
know.
And you guys are all wonderful people.
Yeah.
And I don't know.
Now, I think the whole notion is, is that some, you and her had hooked up
before.
And that's why he's got.
Yeah, that's crazy.
And I can understand, never.
Okay.
So, that's all you got.
I think that's the whole thing.
Never.
It's like, you guys never hooked up.
Now, I'm a weirdo.
If I knew my girl hooked up with some dude, I'd be like, okay, let me watch and
shit, you know?
Yeah.
Because I'm a weirdo like that.
Yeah.
Let me paint the guy black and watch.
That's so weird about you two.
It's, oh yeah.
Dude, I have a bit about white chicks and who only bang black guys are usually
so hot, they'll
paint my dick black face.
You ever heard?
That's a classic.
But a lot of white chicks.
The point is, you two are more alike than you are different.
Yeah.
Oh, I could imagine.
You guys could do a whole podcast in Spanish together.
Now, we've been communicating a little bit and just started to kind of.
Dude, he's wonderful.
He seems like a great guy.
She's wonderful.
She and I never, I never even like wrote my, her name.
I never even like wrote my name.
You never signed her yearbook?
I never even wrote her name on my hand and like yurked off or did anything.
Did a text message come to your phone?
I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
That's other Christina's.
I have like 16 Christina's in here, dude.
I grew up right next to a place where they had a lot of Christina.
All I know is that if you went on their podcast or they were on yours, it would
get all the
views.
Yeah.
There was this notion that you'd hooked up with her and that's why it was weird.
And I go, I don't know why because you're both pretty cool cats.
I mean, you're two of the, three of the nicest people I know in the business.
Thanks, man.
Were people asking you about it?
All the time.
Why didn't you ask me?
Because I didn't know where it was at.
I didn't, I like, dude, I'm like, people got to understand stuff about me.
I am, have crippling social anxiety.
Some people think I'm weird.
I just have crippling.
I can't.
Really?
Crippling, dude.
Crippling.
Like I go to a comedy store because I'm comfortable there and I can't get out
quick enough.
I hate bothering people.
Like I booked this comedy chaos.
It is driving me nuts because I feel like I bother everybody and I hate
bothering people.
I'm trying to put money in people's pocket.
I'm putting on a great show and I just feel like people think I'm bothering.
I get clumped in with some crazy bookers and it's not me at all.
I'm just trying to put on a fun show for everybody and I just feel like I
bother people.
I hate talking to people.
I have a manager that's the only person in the industry I talk to.
I'm just very, I'm a crazy person and I have crippling social anxiety.
Damn, man.
I didn't even know that.
I didn't even, I mean, I mean, I think, I feel like you always just seem like
the level
headed guy, which is crazy.
I just can't get, I can't go to birthday parties.
I can't do anything.
That sounds miserable.
It is.
Why do you think I had a crippling drug problem?
Yeah.
It was the only way I could, I could do blow and talk to people.
Oh yeah, dude.
If I do blow, I'll fucking get a, I'll get an email address from a dolphin,
dude.
Yeah, dude.
Damn, bro.
Yeah.
Dude.
That's who I am.
So you guys are both great people.
All great people.
I'm sure we'll talk about it soon then.
Yeah, we'll figure out what's up.
Thomas, you know, we just started texting about it, kind of trying to figure
out what's
going on.
You're all wonderful.
Yeah.
You guys should do a whole podcast in Spanish together.
Really?
Yeah.
Because he's starting to do like specials in Spanish.
You should do it.
I would love that.
I would love to do a joint tour in Spanish.
Yeah.
It'd be beautiful to it.
Do you know I got Tom Segura into standup?
Did you really?
I'm the reason he does standup.
No way.
Yeah, dude.
That's awesome.
It's, yeah, he fucking, we were in the same growlings class.
You ever meet somebody so funny, you're like.
Don't really know him, so no.
No, but like in life, you meet somebody so funny, you're like, either we could
be friends
or we could be like gunslinging, you know, who's got the, like I'd pick
friendship because
I want to just, because I want to be the fastest gun and when I meet a fast gun,
I'm like, fuck,
that guy's a fast gun, right?
Yeah, he's such a funny guy, man.
So I went up to him, I go, dude, you're really funny, you should try standup.
He's like, I don't know what it is.
I'm like, follow me.
And for a week, I took him and showed him how to do standup.
And now he's like fucking huge.
He's huge, man.
Where did you guys go?
Just all these different coffee shop things.
Wow.
But he's the smartest businessman in comedy.
Yeah.
There's nobody smarter.
Yeah, he's real good.
Joe Rogan works smart and he's like Joe Rogan, a 5'2 player, one of the
greatest to ever
do it.
Yeah.
But Tom Segura is the greatest businessman I've ever seen in comedy.
Nobody works.
Like everything he talks about, he turns into a t-shirt that sells out.
Right.
He's smart.
I love it.
Wow.
You know what's crazy is my sister can't even read.
But what does it have to do with us right now?
Hope you enjoyed that video and you can watch another.
And you can watch this one.
You can watch this one.
Different options, different choices.
Some guy just brings you one option, not this guy.
Two options.
Watch one.
This one or this one.