Name: Anthrax Challenge #9 presented by TCL USA
Uploaded: 2019-11-09T00:38:53.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Anthrax Challenge #9 presented by TCL USA' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-11-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Anthrax Challenge #9 presented by TCL USA' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-11-09. Transcript available.

Anthrax Challenge #9 presented by TCL USA

Welcome to the Anthrax Challenge with me, our new host, Ari Manis.
Today we have my guest, Theo Vaughn.
We're going to be opening up his fan mail on my show.
What's up, brother? Dude, I'm happy to be here, man.
What's going on? Yeah, you've got a lot of fan mail here.
Not much. It's actually your fan mail, but it's mine now because this is my
show.
Well.
Get over it.
Okay, here we go.
Very violent.
You guys know Ari Manis because you've seen him.
A lot of you guys have seen him live at a lot of the shows here.
What is this?
I brought some, uh, you never know what you're going to open up in these boxes.
Could be Anthrax.
So, I know for me, I'm not opening up free-handed.
Really?
Nah, I don't trust your fans, really.
Damn.
I've met them all. Most of them are nice, but you get a couple.
You get that one or two fans that are just weirdos.
Yeah, remember that one guy that tied his legs together for no reason?
Yeah.
I actually don't remember him.
You don't?
To be honest, but yeah.
I think it was in, um, it might have been in Columbus.
Yeah, he said, he was like, kind of like Houdini said he was going to do magic.
And I was like, what are you doing, man?
We'll do it somewhere else, man.
What was he, was he wearing pants at least?
Huh? Yeah, he was wearing pants.
Oh, that, yeah.
If you tie your legs together and you have shorts on.
Yeah, it's a grow up.
Yeah, it's just risky.
This is actually from Dollar Shave Club.
This is going to be for Nick.
Okay.
Because Nick needs to shave all day.
Nick should hire someone to live around his neck and just shave him.
Yeah.
Brought these knives.
Oh, you brought knives?
Dude, I have my own knife.
All right.
Do you sharpen your knives?
Because I sharpen mine.
You do?
Oh, this one hasn't been sharpened, I don't think, probably.
Keep them very sharp.
You do?
Yeah, it's like, you just never know when you need a knife.
I keep them Velcroed under all the surfaces in my apartment.
Dude, are you Dexter?
No, it's not Dexter, it's safety.
Look at me.
I mean, I went from just, like, excited to open nice gifts from people to hot
two.
You get a new host, he's going to make creative changes.
Dude, it's like, you got to be ready.
This is a show now.
Oh, I'm ready, man.
Sorry, I couldn't hear you, Nick.
Yeah, from, like, just doing some serial killing.
So, what is that?
Are you opening up something right there?
I'm opening, oh, I should read who it's from, huh?
Yeah.
This is from Emily Richardson in Connecticut.
Oh, nice.
Look out, Connecticut.
And let's see what that is, Emily.
And I'm sure she wanted to see Theo open it, but this is my show.
And Theo gets to open up some of them because I allow that.
But I get to open up Theo's mail.
See, this is what I'm talking about.
Is this a whip?
Is that a snake?
I think it's a whip.
What, is that a snake?
No, this is a...
Yeah, this is, I'm pretty sure this is a whip.
I don't, unfortunately, I'm not going to be able to demonstrate using it
because there's
not enough room in here.
Let me cut this.
Dude, this knife is very bad.
I just almost cut myself a little.
Ooh, let me get this thing.
Oh, my God.
That actually, it looks really high quality.
You can definitely...
I wonder if here's a shirt she sent you as well.
The thing about shirts, if you're going to send in shirts, it better be a cool
shirt because
Theo gets so many free shirts I've witnessed on the road.
People bring them to him all the time.
We go into a store, they give them shirts.
Yeah, some guy's like, I'll give you the shirt off my back.
And I was like, I'm okay.
And he's like, oh, you don't believe it?
Took his shirt off.
Put it on me, dude.
I didn't want to be in the shirt.
And there was something inside of it, too.
What?
What was inside of it?
I don't know, dude.
I don't know.
The guy literally walked out into the cold, man.
That was in Milwaukee.
I have people come up to me all the time and they say, can you give this shirt
to Theo?
And I'll look at it instantly and I'll go, I will, but he's going to throw it
out.
So if you're going to send a shirt, I'm just going to be brutally honest with
you.
It better be badass because I can't see that shirt.
Well, it needs to be clean.
I mean, a lot of the shirts get back here and, you know, they mill around and
sometimes
we put them on and sometimes we don't.
This whip is amazing because it starts, oh my, bro, look at the end of that.
Holy, this is, I didn't even know they made whips this nice.
What do people use this for?
You know what they use it for, dude?
Sex, man.
So these, I assume, are just new tips for the whip?
I'm not sure.
That's for big sex.
I don't know enough about whips to know, this is, I want to go do whip research
now online.
Oh, this is for big sex, I bet.
Because you've got to have a big friend and you've got to really want sex.
Do you read the letters on there?
Yeah, I'll read some of it right now.
And Theo, we could put those headphones on the ground, just turn them up a
little bit if
you don't want to wear them.
Okay.
Hey, Theo, I wanted to send you this whip hitter that I made from Paracord for
your birthday.
Wow.
Oh, Paracord.
So that's really strong.
They make shoelaces out of it too.
You could support your whole body with that whip.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
And this, just to show you how long it's been since we did the Anthrax
Challenge, this
was sent in March, March 5th of 2019.
So it's just been a busy...
This is the first one of 2019.
Yeah, this is the first one of 2019?
Wow.
Yeah.
And it's almost Christmas, man.
Thank you so much.
This will help you tame those dark arts.
Also, I feel like if you keep this bitch on your shoulder at all times, nobody
will fuck
with you.
I bet you are right.
I've also included my shirt I created because I got that long hair and beard.
And this says, Game of Follicles.
So that's pretty interesting.
That's cool.
Dude, it's kind of cool.
Yeah.
I'd wear that shirt.
You should wear that.
Yeah.
Now, that's a wearable shirt.
Some guy, yeah.
He's like, hey, man, my mother passed away.
I got a picture of her and my aunt on this shirt playing dominoes.
And it's like...
And they drew it on there in blood.
I'm like, I ain't wearing that.
You know, this shirt just tested positive.
I love your podcast.
I love your stand-up.
Happy birthday, gang, gang.
I'm one of those chair daddies.
Do you think your alter ego, the rat king, could just have a whip on him at all
times?
I don't know.
It's a good question.
I can see that.
Maybe you just carry it around.
What if I had a weak, kind of a weaker, what if the rat king had a weaker sidekick?
You know?
Air Manus is his name.
Mousy Manus.
I ain't no sidekick.
He has a whip.
What's his name?
Mousy Manus.
Yeah, Mousy Manus, dude.
I don't like where this is going.
I'm going to shut this down right now.
Oh, wow.
You wanted a wrestling career and just shut it down?
The cameras are on right now.
I'll kick your ass.
Okay.
Bring it on over, bro.
At the minimum, you could hang this up on the wall.
This would be good art.
No, this is a beautiful whip right here.
I'm saying it's beautiful.
You could, at the minimum, if you don't carry it around, you could keep it on
the wall.
And we'll get a cut in so you guys can see the end of this whip.
Now, that's a copper end.
You could sell that to a crackhead and they'd resell it.
Good point.
And it has a skull built into that base there, Nick.
We may need to get a cut in of that.
But he also said, he said, if you ever need more crackers.
It's a she.
I believe a female sent that in.
At least on the address.
If you ever need more crackers, just DM my Instagram and I'll send more.
And that's what those are called.
The little things at the end are called crackers.
I wonder what those are for.
I don't know.
I'm going to shoot my eye out.
I know that.
Oh, at GTR wheelchair guy.
Wait, what city was this in?
Was this in Idaho?
He came to a few cities.
Was he in Idaho?
Where's that box at?
Do you mind just peeking it?
Sorry.
Oh, that's right.
He's one of them wheelchair bad boys.
So if you're in a wheelchair, definitely you've got to get a whip.
Emily Richardson.
Oh, so someone must have sent it out for him.
And it may have been him, man.
He came to a few cities.
If it's the same gentleman, yeah.
And if you're in a wheelchair, definitely get a whip.
Or if you have somebody, a friend that's in a wheelchair, get them that whip.
So they can still be spirited.
Oh, Colorado.
Windsor.
I read it wrong.
Check out court was the address.
Okay, why don't you just.
From Windsor, Colorado.
You should calm down, man, because.
But that is a beautiful whip.
Thank you there for that whip here on the anthrax challenge.
No anthrax yet.
This is from BBWD Geodes in Phoenix, Arizona.
Okay.
From Geodes, huh?
And it is a lovely candle.
Oh, that smells nice.
Like a nice cologne or perfume.
I think, uh.
You might light that up, too.
Do we have any matches in here?
Is there a name?
I got a lighter.
Yeah, that smells lovely.
And I think, you know, you could use that for dating or just for yourself,
really.
There's a lot of uses for those.
You see a lighter over there, right?
No.
A lot of nice stuff coming in.
Black tie candle, that's what that is.
Is that what it is?
A black tie candle?
From Bath and Body Works.
So I think that was just someone buying you a nice gift, really.
Was there a note in there or no?
No, there was no note.
Okay, cool.
And if you guys are looking for a new murder show to watch, I will mention the
Lake Erie Murders
is pretty good.
It's on there on D-Mand.
You have the D-Mand channel.
You can look at it.
It's like Christmas, huh?
This is Amazon Prime boxes right here.
Yeah, this is like Christmas, isn't it?
Yeah.
It's more like Hanukkah because the gifts are smaller and shittier.
Well, look.
Apparently, Nick's used to some pretty big gifts.
Dude, I celebrated Hanukkah when I was a little kid, and I got some cool gifts.
Did you?
I mean, my parents were rich.
But you said your mom didn't care about you that much, though.
Well, she got me some nice gifts, so maybe I'm just a bitch, you know?
Maybe I'm just a bad son.
It's funny.
I think about that, too, sometimes, that I'm just a little bitch.
Now, this is a beautiful Amazon fulfillment out of Las Vegas.
What does that say?
This is Amazon fulfillment as well, and I don't know how they got this picture.
Oh, they just used an old Amazon Prime box.
Okay.
This is not a Prime package.
From your friends in El Paso, Texas.
Hope you visit soon.
Be good to yourself.
You probably deserve it.
Ging, ging.
Alexis, Anna, Abraham, and Bonnie.
There's a nice little picture of them with you.
You can hold that up to the camera.
Oh, wow.
A beautiful group.
Yeah, and this looks like we're in Texas when this was taken, actually.
El Paso.
And I believe I was with you there.
Yeah, but no, this was in Addison, it looks like.
Oh, Addison.
Man, look how healthy I was back then.
And they saw you this bulldog hat.
Oh, gang, bro.
Get them dogs, huh?
That's a shive hat.
I can see you wearing that.
That's a shive hat, bro, and I need a new hat.
Gang, boy.
And it matches my Onward shirt.
Perfect.
Well done.
So far, I think every single thing we've opened has been great so far.
Yeah, it's been great.
Yeah, a lot of neat stuff, man.
No duds.
No duds.
Not a single dud.
Now, here to say something.
Happy Halloween, Theo.
You mentioned this is your favorite candy as a kid, so I hope you enjoy.
You get me through some dark arts from some gnarly PTSD at times, and I can't
thank you enough.
Brooke DeRusso.
Well, just keep your head up, Brooke.
And that's sweet of you to think of me around Halloween, and this could have
even been from last Halloween.
Who knows?
Is it?
I think it is.
Oh, my God.
Well, perfect timing.
Perfect timing.
Ooh.
And you know what it is.
Yeah, this is from last year.
I can tell a little.
Just the font on the bag looks like about a year old, you know?
No.
That's a baby Snicker.
You can get in there, bro.
And if you want, you can just put your hand in there.
You can feel them kind of nibbl