Name: Thug Nasty Bryce Mitchell | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #250
Uploaded: 2019-12-19T14:32:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thug Nasty Bryce Mitchell | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #250' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-12-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thug Nasty Bryce Mitchell | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #250' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-12-19. Transcript available.

Thug Nasty Bryce Mitchell | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #250

All right, good to see you or listen or be here.
What I'm telling you is this, I got an exciting show coming up.
I will be in Las Vegas, January 31st and February 1st at the Mirage Hotel and
Casino.
And you can get tickets, theovan.com slash tour.
Also coming up, I have a show in Toronto, England, Scotland, Norway, Amsterdam,
somewhere else as well.
All of those tickets available, theovan.com slash tour.
Today's guest is a vibrant man, a real, he's, well, he's as Arkansas as you can
get.
He's rising in the ranks of MMA, and I'm just really honored to have him on
here today.
He's very inspirational.
Today's guest is none other than Thug Nasty Bryce Mitchell.
And then we do another podcast in here called King of the Saints.
And that's just with Brendan Schaub.
You know, he does like a lot of UFC stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah, I've seen some of his stuff.
He used to fight stuff.
You fuck with the PD lights?
Hell yeah, dude.
I love them.
I like the purple.
Do you?
You had the purple?
I've had the purple a lot, yeah.
That's the only one I fucking love.
Really?
Yeah.
Huh.
Why, you think they taste different?
Yeah, they're just the best.
Yeah.
The purple is the best.
Yeah, if I can tell.
Dude, my problem is, sometimes I used to do so many of them, dude, I wouldn't
want to eat dinner.
That's what.
Well, they're expensive.
That's why I'm drinking them.
Yeah.
Because, like, they're so damn expensive.
I'll go get some Gatorade powder.
Uh-huh.
And mix it?
And do the Gatorade powder.
That's cheaper.
Yeah.
Like, if I got a weigh-in, that's a big event.
I don't mind dropping six bucks on a Petey Light if I need it.
For that weigh-in, yeah.
For that weigh-in, that's some real shit.
Yeah.
Well, dude, we could have, we could break a couple over for the episode, I don't
think.
He only fucks with purple.
Don't you listen to that?
I try the blue.
You know what happened last time I seen somebody do the blue?
Huh?
They, uh, they throw up everywhere.
Oh, this is beautiful.
A couple of Petey, Petey?
That's sick.
Well, I'll tell you what happened.
This is my buddy, right?
Okay.
I told him, I said, can you, uh, wash my Petey Light, because it needs to be, I
like
to drink them frozen.
And he said, uh.
What do you mean, you keep them in the freezer for a while before you, what?
Before I weigh-in, I like to drink them cold, like, because when your throat
gets all dry,
it just feels good to drink something cold, you know?
So, right after the weigh-in, that's when you'll have one.
Right.
Right after the weigh-in.
First thing, when I get off the scale, well, my buddy, he was supposed to be
watching
mine, and, uh, he puts them in the freezer, and we got a fight coming up, or
weigh-in
coming up in three hours.
First thing's fucking frozen solid, solid frozen.
So, on the way to the fight, I got mine between my legs, just right up on my
nuts, just warming
it up, melting it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That body heat.
Body heat.
And, uh, and just give you something, you know, cool you off.
So, it was, well, he took his and put it in the microwave.
And he said, you know, I seen him, he put mine in the microwave for like 30
seconds,
and I walked in, I said, what are you doing?
You can't microwave that shit.
It's plastic.
It'll fucking melt the plastic.
He said, no, it's fine.
And I took mine out, and I said, you know, you can have yours, and he had a
blue one.
Yeah.
And he put his in the fucking microwave for about two, three minutes till it thawed
out,
and he drunk it right when he'd get off the scale.
Uh-huh.
Dude, he threw up everywhere.
Oh.
It's because of that plastic.
Yeah.
He melted the fucking plastic.
Oh, that's probably true, huh?
That, I...
Probably put like a chemical or something.
I can't prove it, but I just know that's...
He fucked up.
Bro.
Oh, you take the...
Here's how you work, bro.
You just take the cap.
Oh, never mind.
Usually, you take the cap.
Like, mine's got the thing.
Oh, it's on the top right there.
See?
And you just...
Yeah, I don't have that.
You just twist that son of a bitch.
Yeah.
You got that thing.
Yeah.
That's full throttle.
Let me borrow that top.
Yeah, that's a little secret right there.
You could probably...
Now, see...
Let's get a fish with that.
There we go.
Most of them are supposed to have it like that.
If not, it's something to fuck.
Let's get it, brother.
Yeah, man.
The blue ain't bad.
It really ain't.
But like I said, it's got bad juju.
I only fuck with purple.
I seen my buddy drink a blue.
Sick as a dog, man.
He fought like shit the next day, too.
He was good in the first round.
Was he?
Then the fight kept going.
Starts getting a little bit gassed.
And that's it.
Yeah, yeah.
And that was it, yeah.
Well, yeah, let me...
Cheers, brother.
Welcome back.
Yeah, hell yeah, brother.
Thank you for having me, man.
I'm happy to see you, man.
Do you know what the date is today?
It's 12-something.
I usually pick the 16th.
I go right in the middle, bro.
I just guess.
I guess.
That's what I do.
It's at least a night.
God, man.
Any excuse to crack open a damn pedialyte, this shit.
Yeah, I like it.
Every time I see a baby, I know what they're fucking been up to, you know?
And you got a water right there, too, I think.
I'll just drink on this the whole time, bro.
I love these P.U. lights.
Gang, man.
Bryce Mitchell.
How was that flight, man?
Nah, I don't like flying.
Really?
I wore my boots for the flight.
Yeah?
The whole time?
You take them off while you're on the plane?
No, hell no.
I leave them boots on.
You know why I wear my boots on a plane?
Hold on.
Let me think for a second.
Nuh-uh.
Right when I get on, I'm looking for terrorists.
Really?
Always assume there's about four of them.
Yeah.
You know, and if there's four of them, you know how they operate, right?
There's going to be two sleepers.
So, I'm really, I'm looking for the four ones that are going to pop up.
Yeah.
Those are the motherfuckers I'm dropping first.
You know what I'm saying?
And the most that can attack you, even if there's four of them on a plane, only
two can attack you.
One in the front, one in the back.
I got a pair of boots.
I'm going boom, right to the nuts.
Right to the nuts.
You know what I'm saying?
Boom, right to the nuts.
Boom, boom.
Turn around, taking out another one.
I'm going to start stomping on their heads and shit.
And then I'm looking for the sleepers.
Oh, yeah.
And so the sleepers, but how many more do you think that they would have?
At least two sleepers, if they know what they're doing.
If not, there's some rookies.
I'm going to fuck them up anyways.
Yeah, if not, this is Bush League terrorism.
Yeah.
Yeah, this is what I can.
If not, this is a small-time outfit, you know?
It's probably just some fucking fellas out of Jackson, you know?
It's probably just some guys that went to USM, you know?
That's probably all it is.
I'm ready for the real shit.
Yeah.
Dude, I think about that sometimes.
A buddy of mine reported a guy on his flight who seemed, like, sketchy, you
know?
And the whole time, the flight attendant's, like, watching this guy.
And I think it was just, like, a sweaty guy, you know?
Just looking real fidgety.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I keep my eyes on them, yeah.
Those could be your sleepers right there, you know?
I love that, man.
They might not stand up first, but you know they're back there just geeking.
They're just ready.
Yeah, they're ready.
Yeah.
They're just back there sharpening their fuses.
Yeah, they got their little shanks and shit.
That's where I got my boots on, buddy.
I love it, man.
Was it nerve-wracking?
This is your first time to Los Angeles?
Yes, sir.
That's awesome.
Well, I've actually stopped at the airport before, because my mom, she took me
to Hawaii
one time, me and my sister.
And we stopped to L.A. and then flew to Hawaii.
But this is my first time, like, getting out, walking around and stuff.
I really like the sushi.
Yeah?
Yeah, good sushi.
You went and had some, huh?
Yeah, twice already.
Damn, bro.
I like the sushi.
You fucking branching out.
Yeah, I know, man.
They're not going to recognize you when you're getting home, man.
They're going to, because a lot of sushi I had growing up, a lot of times, we
just had
catfish mostly, which is really my favorite.
But then you start getting a leg.
Catfish in the sushi?
No, I've never had catfish in the sushi.
I'm about to say.
Now, that don't sound good at all.
You got to fry that catfish, man.
I've tried to do gumbos and whatnot with it, man.
It just needs to be fried.
Yeah.
I wonder why that is.
I wonder why you can't do catfish as like a sushi.
Well, you can't eat it raw, because it's like a freshwater or whatnot.
I've heard that.
Oh, that makes good sense, probably.
You can only eat those saltwater fish.
Oh, that makes sense.
Mainly saltwater fish.
You can only eat them raw.
But like salmon, I guess they're saltwater and freshwater.
They kind of alternate or something like that.
But catfish, you ain't supposed to eat it raw, ever.
I guess even by looking at it.
If I look at it, I'll be like, oh, I ain't eating this raw.
Even if I just look it in the face, it makes me feel like.
Dude, they're my favorite.
Yeah.
They are my favorite.
They're my favorite to catch.
They're probably my favorite to eat.
They're just like little dirty bottom feeders, man.
Just like me.
Hey, man, bro.
Dude, I remember we used to go fishing for like bullheads, they used to call
them.
Yeah.
Yeah, the little ones.
You know what I'm talking about?
Yeah.
And we'd go catch those.
And those are like some of the first things that we would catch.
Well, them are the tastiest ones.
You know, when they start getting too big, they don't taste as good.
You have to actually trim off a lot of the meat.
Yeah.
When they get too big, you get like a 10 pounder, you're going to be, you know,
trimming some meat off of it that you don't even want to eat because it turns
red.
Because once they get like a certain age, I guess all the chemicals and shit in
the water starts building up in their system.
Because they're collectors, really.
That's the thing.
They're almost like a shrimp of a fish, really.
I mean, they're definitely, they're not really, yeah, I guess they're not your
cleanest ones.
Oh, that's interesting.
I never thought that sushi comes from a lot more of ocean fish.
Yeah, that salt water, I guess, purifies it or something like that.
But what do you get?
What kind of sushi do you get?
I like the salmon.
Sashimi?
I like them all.
I like every damn one of them.
But I just, the reason I get the salmon is because I hear everybody say it's
the healthiest for you.
So I'll get like salmon and scallop and stuff like that because I'm really just
trying to eat healthy when I eat it.
Yeah.
Now, what will you get?
You get that sashimi where it's just the fish or you get it on the little rice
back?
I do the rolls of it where they come in like little rolls like that big.
Yeah.
And sometimes, like the one I got today, it had salmon in the middle of the
roll.
And then on the outside it had, I mean, I'm sorry, it had scallops in the
middle of the roll.
And on the outside it had salmon.
So I'm just trying to eat healthy, really.
Yeah.
And so you like sushi because it really provides, it provides, it's easy to eat
healthy there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like something good that's healthy too, you know, because a lot of the
stuff that you, that you eat that's healthy, you don't really like it.
You know, it's just, you're just eating it because it's healthy.
Well, sushi, I like it and it's healthy.
So it killed two birds with one stone.
Do they have a sushi place in your town?
They have one and I mean, it's, it's pretty pricey.
You know, if I go there, it's a special occasion.
Oh yeah.
Prom.
Actually.
Yeah.
Ask my girlfriend out there.
We went and had sushi.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's kind of a, dude, I remember when I was growing up, dude, they had one of
the night,
if you took a girl to sushi, that.
That's some real shit.
Yeah.
Especially like in a small town and it was like a real, that was taking a girl