Name: Tomi Lahren | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #253
Uploaded: 2020-01-06T16:37:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tomi Lahren | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #253' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-01-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tomi Lahren | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #253' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-01-06. Transcript available.

Tomi Lahren | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #253

Today's guest is a fiery little sunbeam.
She's a political pundit.
She's a host from Fox Nation.
She is a polarizing figure,
and she is a voice of conservative politics,
Miss Tommy Lahren.
Shine that light on me
I'll sit and tell you my stories
Shine that light on me
I'll sit and tell you my stories
Did you have a nice holiday?
I did.
You did?
Back in South Dakota.
Did you really?
Oh, nice.
Whole family's still there.
How many people, when you go to the whole,
when you say the whole family?
My whole family still lives there.
I only see my mom and dad.
I don't see the whole family.
Do you have siblings?
No.
Really?
You're an only child.
Are we recording now, or is this off?
Huh?
We're going, yeah.
Is this part of it?
It's fine, yeah.
Okay.
You're an only child?
I am.
No way.
I don't think I'd get along with others.
My mom always said that.
I would kill a child, another child,
if there was another child.
I mean, if you had a sibling that was a,
yeah, staunch leftist,
I think you guys would have a tough time at dinner.
I don't think they'd survive.
Oh, really?
No.
You'd put them down, huh?
Yeah.
Early.
In the womb, probably.
Real quick.
How hard is it for you to live in Los Angeles?
Because you're really like,
you were a voice.
You were a right-wing voice.
You know, you were like the,
you're like the frozen,
one of the frozen characters,
but in, like,
but of like,
on the far right, you know?
Or not far right,
but on the right.
Yeah, well, people say far right, though,
and then it's like,
oh, it's alt-right.
It's this.
Yeah, I don't like that.
Yeah, no, like,
I'm a voice,
I'm more conservative.
I'm on the conservative side.
Yeah, sorry.
Yeah.
No, I don't cross the 405.
Yeah.
I stay in the South Bay.
It's still not great,
you know.
Does it get risky?
Like, yeah, do people treat you?
Yeah.
Well, I'm pretty identifiable.
Yeah.
You and I have that in common with the hair.
Right.
So, I'm pretty identifiable.
But, you know, I get pushed,
I get tripped,
I get kicked,
I get heckled,
but only when people are in big groups.
So, they would never say something to me one-on-one.
People follow me around grocery stores.
I'm sure.
Like, why are you following me?
Can I help you?
Like, I'm at the grocery store,
you're, I'm not a, you know,
a rare animal or rare species.
I'm a conservative in California.
Here I am.
But they follow,
like, weird men will, like,
follow me around and they,
like, I can see you.
Well, those are perverts, bro.
That's who those guys are.
I'll tell you point blank.
That's her, that's her.
Yeah, that's me.
Oh, really?
What do you want to do?
Yeah, that's all the time.
Look it.
Yeah.
Yep, that's me.
Do you, um,
do you feel like you bring some of it,
like, you ask for it?
Like, I feel like you like the,
uh, you like the fight.
Yeah, people have to get comfortable
being uncomfortable.
Right.
And conservatism-
Yeah, I agree with that.
Bothers people.
And so it's like,
I'm not gonna,
the reason that Donald Trump won
is because he was the first Republican.
He's not like Romney or McCain
who apologized for everything.
He said, this is who I am.
Romney's a fucking puppet, dude.
Romney seemed like a guy
that sells socks to rich people.
Well, yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
He just like seemed like a tall guy
who has a lot of socks, dude.
Good looking.
Yeah.
Probably my first political crush
was Mitt Romney
until things took a turn.
Really?
Yeah.
Also, Paul Ryan.
Do you know who that is?
Is that the guy from Kentucky?
No.
Wisconsin.
Senator Paul Ryan.
Can you bring up a picture of him, please, Nick?
Mm-hmm.
Congressman Paul Ryan.
He was a Speaker of the House.
I think so.
Do you have curly hair, kind of?
No.
Let me see if it's the guy that I think.
You need to find it.
I know Paul well.
I'm from Wisconsin.
So you know him well.
Yeah.
Attractive fellow, right?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, that guy?
Yeah.
Wow.
You think he's handsome?
Well, I mean, you're not pulling up the best photos.
Go to the gym photo.
Old school.
There we go.
See?
Other people have looked.
Well, I mean, some of these are fake,
but go to the good ones.
Go to the Time Magazine one.
See?
And is he the guy with the really old wife
that everybody always jokes about?
No.
Who's that?
I mean, there's a lot.
The guy who's married to like a woman
that's like 20 years older?
20 years older?
Oh, I don't know who that is.
It might be somebody else.
We'll have to do a game
where we put all the politicians for you.
Mm-hmm.
You know, Governor Newsom,
you didn't know who that was?
No.
Yeah, so we need to just,
we'll do a game.
Yeah, I can use some help.
Like a family tree.
Yeah.
We'll put them together for you
so you know who's running the country.
And on the top, you know, big old Don.
Yeah.
You know?
Oh, Don's easy, the redhead, man.
No.
Is he naturally red-haired, do you think?
Donald Trump?
Yeah.
His hair's not red.
It's got an orange tint.
Well, not red, but I say red-headed.
I would say blonde more.
I would say he's a blonde.
Would you say he's a blonde?
Yeah, I would say maybe he is a blonde.
Yeah, I think he's a blonde.
He's got, you know,
it gets a little orange in there,
but I don't think it's a redhead.
Oh, I've had a similar cut.
I've had that cut before.
That would be a good choice.
I've had some of his cuts.
Have you ever met Donald Trump?
Yeah.
Was it pretty cool?
How do you feel about it?
He's called me before, and those were good conversations.
Were you nervous about it?
No.
No, not really.
I mean, it's something different about President Trump being President Trump.
You don't feel like you're talking to a politician.
Right.
He'll sit there and just talk to you.
Just shoot the shit, pretty much.
Yeah.
Like, hi, I'm in the Oval Office.
It's pretty cool.
You know, getting a lot of things done.
Great things for the country.
Stay tuned.
A lot of good stuff coming.
Yeah.
That's just how he is.
Right.
What you see is what you get.
People have to appreciate that.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, look, I mean,
I think there's probably some great business stuff that he's doing, you know?
I mean, I think there's definitely a roll call just in that, you know,
America doesn't need to spend some time taking care of itself
and not trying to take care of or be involved in everything.
You know, because I think at a certain point,
there's just not enough resources to take care of the whole world.
And I could be wrong, but I just don't feel like there is
because it starts to seem like people are having a tougher time.
What was I going to ask you about?
Oh, dude, so there was a guy, a couple years ago,
did some guy try to set me up with you years ago?
Do you ever remember this or no?
No.
Who would that be?
Some man.
Was it like in the DM or something that I didn't see?
This was like five years ago.
I was on, I used to go on Opie and Jim Norton.
They had a show.
He was like an older guy.
He kind of looked like, remember that game, Guess Who?
Remember the game?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Where you guessed the person.
Can you look that up, Nick?
Yeah.
He looked like an old guy on there, kind of.
Can you look up old guy that was on Guess Who?
Board game.
And he knows me?
Yeah.
He said, I know her.
And I don't know if he said, I'm going to try to set you guys up.
Or if I said something.
But he.
Well, how long ago was it?
Yeah.
Click on a couple people.
You got to source this person here.
Yeah.
It's not David.
It's not Franz either.
Did he have glasses?
We're playing the game now.
Probably.
Yeah.
He did have glasses.
It was a mix kind of between Tom.
Tom in the bottom there?
Yeah.
Tom in the bottom.
Oh, yeah.
Was he in politics or what was his deal?
I mean, there's a lot of people that kind of look like that.
Okay.
Sorry.
And a mix between Tom and, oh my God, Peter looks like a little bit of a transvestite.
If you look at Peter.
Oh.
Bottom left.
Kind of.
Yeah.
That was a bad job.
He looked like Tom and Paul from Guess Who.
Okay.
Well, I'm not.
Yeah.
Sorry.
That's not helpful.
That's not helpful at all.
But anyway.
That one looks like Bernie Sanders next to Peter.
Which one?
That one looks like Paul and then Paul looks like Bernie Sanders and then Peter
looks like
Bernie Sanders after the transition.
It does look like, yeah.
It looked like a mix between Peter.
After Bernie Sanders is on The Real Housewives at Orange County, then you get
Peter.
Natural jump.
Do you think Bernie will get the nomination?
No.
Really?
No.
No, it's going to be good old corn pop Joe Biden.
No way.
Yeah.
I think Bernie's going to get it.
And I think solely because of his, do they vote for it?
Is there a vote?
There's a vote for it, right?
Well, we vote in primaries.
So in the primaries, it'll be between.
So Bernie will have a chance then.
Yes, but he doesn't have a chance.
It's going to be Elizabeth Warren, better known as Pocahontas, and Joe Biden.
That's who it's going to come down to.
And then it'll be Joe Biden.
No way.
I think, but here's, I'm going to tell you why I think this.
Because, did you see Bernie Sanders on Joe Rogan?
Yes.
It was cool, huh?
Yeah.
No, people like Bernie Sanders, but the Democrats are never going to let him
get in.
They're not.
Just like they did with Hillary.
Well, I mean, that was messed up how last year or last time they fucking just
screwed the guy.
Yeah.
Well, it's Hillary.
She's got a pattern of that.
But how do you just, how is there no policing?
Like, he won and he got screwed.
He didn't win, but he got out of that pretty unscathed.
He is still alive.
You don't cross a Clinton normally and come out of it without an accidental
suicide.
Wow.
So Bernie is still up there shaking his finger, ready to go, but he's not going
to get the nomination.
It's going to be sleepy, creepy, quid pro Joe Biden.
Joe gives some good.
I love it how it's just getting more and more senior citizen.
I hope we end up with like an 80 or 90 year old in there, you know?
I just want to see somebody just eating soup basically on a stream cam 24 hours
a day.
What about, do you know who Ruth Bader Ginsburg is?
Yes, I do.
Yeah.
So she's, I think we need to be doing a welfare check.
I'm not convinced that she's, you know, like Kim Jong-un.
Yeah.
Or Kim Jong-il.
You know, he wasn't around for the last couple of years of that.
No one saw him.
Fidel Castro, same thing.
Oh, that's true, huh?
I'm thinking someone is out there.
Somebody took Ginsburg.
No, I just think that she's doing poorly and they're making it seem like she's
okay.
Oh, they're propping her up.
Because listen, if they lose her off the Supreme Court, Trump gets another
nominee.
And then we go through all that again.
Wow.
So they need her to stay alive.
They need her to be good.
Oh, that's all right there.
Oh, she's not going to be a lot long.
Well, and we hope she's a great, you know, I'm not a Democrat, but.
She has that face that she's like, her face is starting to spoil.
And I don't mean that in a bad way.
I'm not, she's a beautiful lady.
I know she's, I think she was the first lady on what, the quarter?
First, I thought you were going to say court.
Like, we're getting closer.
But no.
I'm joking.
A lot of these, a lot of politicians.
She is, she's done a lot.
I'm not a fan, but she's done a lot.
I just don't think that she is as well as they, as they make her seem like she
is because
they need her to stay alive.
I see.
They don't want to get another nominee.
They know Trump's going to win again.
They're like, another one?
It'd be three.
They're all getting up there in age.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What about, did you go to prom in high school?
Yeah.
You did?
Yeah.
Was it fun or not?
You know.
Where'd y'all go eat before?
Shit.
When you're in Rapid City, South Dakota, there's only a couple options.
Yeah.
I want to know what they were.
Well, I didn't go there, but where I live, even now, I don't even remember, but
even now
to this day, if I go home, it's like, if you go to a Red Lobster or Olive
Garden, that's
up there.
Oh yeah.
That's nice.
Yeah.
That's nice.
We went to Pizza Hut growing up.
It was real nice.
Yeah.
But Red Lobster and Olive Garden still