Name: Bobby Lee 3 | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #256
Uploaded: 2020-01-23T14:00:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee 3 | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #256' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-01-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee 3 | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #256' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-01-23. Transcript available.

Bobby Lee 3 | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #256

today's guest is a small hero of sorts um he's the kind of boy man that uh that
sometimes you
just imagine is just scurrying through your garden and stealing squashes or
stealing uh
a couple carats you know it um he is part of the tiger belly podcast he uh he's
the tiger with the
belly um comedian actor um effervescent human mr bobby lee
shine that light on me
i'll sit and tell you my stories
shine that light on me
that little curry squirrel himself boy what's up bucko
you know what bro papa needs an apology i think he does yeah because you start
a war with papa
right now on the streets people call me theo wong oh yeah they do yeah
everywhere i go
i want to say something about hair they call you uh but let me tell you
something bro yeah you've
been to nam bro huh i have been you've been right yeah they've been doing this
haircut for years you
see platoon polpa they all did this shit ho chi minh bro so what i'm saying is
that i didn't steal it
from you i stole it from the greats from wait but here's the thing bro you
coming into you know the
world we live in bro there's only so many types of styles everybody has a style
right um you know everybody has a
like chris d'alea has that kind of like uh
rick springsfield that kind of concrete ballerina
yeah yeah yeah um you got your boy slick
red over there fucking oh that freak yeah yeah he's got
well redheads can't do nothing that ganger bro
right they can do two things the one he has and then the ron howard
yeah he's got that right right you gotta go bald to do ron howard
right right but let me say something to you my friend
yeah say something we've been waiting for decades to hear whatever it is
look a bieber right yeah you know the bieber who justin bieber
no franklin bieber yeah you don't know frankie
no justin bieber bro jb yeah jb dude remember his haircut they always said that's
the bieber cut
right that bull crossover you know the comb over but the chinese has been doing
that for 2 000 years
bro you can't just call the bieber out of nowhere so what i'm saying is the mullet
ain't theo vaughn
it's just a mullet but here's the thing bro it's not a mullet okay it is a
display of your heart it's a display of your
ambiance bro it's a display of your freaking virility and your possibility
though yeah you know
it's that fucking bro it's that three inch baby cape and you gotta yeah bro you
gotta let that thing
dangle brother right do you feel better with it you must feel more empowered i
feel much more empowered
i feel like i can bang um southern chicks better really yeah yeah yeah you can
definitely run out
of gas yeah yeah yeah i just feel like i can go to a trailer oh yeah right and
just rip up the holes
you know what i mean yeah yeah whether it be you know a pillow or a woman it
doesn't matter oh some
reverse drama right right yeah just anything you know like that but my point is
is that maybe you're
right maybe i did it because you're so you're you know i admire you it's hard
to say what that i
admire you oh dude oh yeah yeah i admire admire you you're making it one word
yeah i understand that
but here's the thing some people you come with a certain style you get then
people are going to
say you're a certain thing you know you cornrow your pussy hair people are
going to say you're tiffany
haddish you uh yeah you know you shave off all your body hair right you eat elk
people gonna say you're
uh joey rogan right if you see a fat fro yeah eric griffin yeah you're right griffin
with little
fucking uh he probably bedazzles it that's complaining a lot man he complains a
lot bro oh bro i love him
but that fat fuck he uh is he still fat i don't think so but that's not really
fat it's just the sickle
cell anemia in his body you know what i mean that's causing the weight they
used to have an urban
show um sickle cell saturday i remember and it was a where urban comedy where
in memphis oh really
sickle cell saturdays yeah wow in memphis man do you do good in front of black
people i don't mind
uh i mean black people don't do black people support that much that many white
things though do they
support any white entertainment yeah i mean i just played irvine and i had one
black per show
irvine's hard that guy comes to my show yeah yeah steve yeah steve yeah steve
smith yeah yeah he was
adopted so steve was there at my shows at irvine every show oh yeah yeah but
whenever i see a
groups of black african america what do you call black i say black friends are
urban gentlemen yeah
or the first 48 that's what i say yeah um but when they come i get really
excited you do yeah because
it's like you know i'm reaching you know i like to reach everybody i know i do
gooky jokes on you know
on stage i don't think you do man thanks you've been doing a lot of new stuff
some you know because i have
to do a special i think eventually here oh yeah yeah so many i like new haircut
new special yeah bro
i want to um but do you think that but i feel like white people support a ton
of black entertainment
they do i don't feel like black that the that there's the same as the reverse
way do you feel
that way well you know you have different kinds of blacks right you have the
ones that are like uh
algeria no nigeria or gerard carrie michael lee yeah yeah yeah the thinking
black okay they can
beat you in chess at any moment right right right but then you got the aaron
hernandez people that
hung out with her aaron hernandez yeah those types oh yeah they'll hide the
truck for them
snicker and what's his name yeah yeah yeah yeah right but um snicker and tater
or whatever that
boy's name yeah so i can't i can't reach them right i love them you can't get
that urban urban
audience yeah i want my gaps audience yeah the gary owen audience yeah yeah you
know so you know i
want to i you know i get a lot do you think though overall i mean and you're
also do what's what's it
like are black people and asian people getting along you're getting weight no
why your face is chunky
oh i'll probably have to pop a few zits um do you feel i'm serious bro i need
to get some yeah but
she i see your cheeks it's good really yeah you felt you look gone earlier like
a couple of months
ago he dying from aids or something oh no yeah yeah but then he got he got you
know what kind of aids
bud aids no freddie mercury aids the good kind oh singing yeah yeah you got to
take that yeah yeah
i'll take singing aids any day what was your question about the um how are
black people and asian people
getting along what's going on there i'm not getting what are you talking about
i'm just seeing i'll tell you
the history of it okay okay for many many years um asians would open up liquor
stores in urban areas
right and then like you know accuse them of shit accuse who well the asians
would accuse the black
people of shit of what like taking now and laters yeah or like you know no
browsing oh yeah and you
touch you by oh that kind of shit it's like bitch i want to pick up my handy my
candy bar and look at
the fucking you know calorie count and shit yeah right so they would do that
black people and they would
go you touch you by or or you browse in liquor stores you don't just go in and
go go right to the kid
cats yeah right maybe i want to look at the fucking you know uh you know the
coconut coconut juice
right right coconut milk or something oh right lemon yeah right so then what
happened was um
they were doing all that shit because i go to this korean spa and before they
wouldn't even let black
people in there but then what happened was bro the riots and then the rock and
then the black people
burned the liquor stores down why what just because oh you burn all the liquor
i don't know bro they can
they're flammable yeah but still why would you burn all i don't know but they
did you know what i mean
they burned it down to the ground but dude tell me if you guys are getting
along i mean i'm gonna get
to the history so this is what i'm owning it no no no no so then what happened
was dude then you know
after that um koreans softened oh right and then after that right rush hour
came out yeah and then
that we can solve crimes together now jackie chan jackie brown right right
right we can like you know
we don't understand each other we're in the cop car but we can still solve the
shit oh shooting yeah
yeah don't worry all that stuff so then after that everything's cool now i like
that yeah you like
that now somebody said that um a black friend told me that uh chinese people
are like the black people
of asia is that true or is that what is that have you ever heard that
do you just say chinese people are the black people of asia yeah yeah aside
from the fact they
don't have black dicks chinese don't bro who's going who's got that large meat
on the asian side
oh filipinos for sure because they're mixed in with like oh yeah dude yeah dude
because the spanish
because they were like invaded so much occupied bro that like you know if you
get invaded enough you'll
get outvaded a little right yeah the spanish in the filipino hole oh you know
how babies are made
oh yeah right and they squirt inside right and then and then thud the black
dick oh right so you know
they're colonized places that are colonized are mixed in with shit i wish black
african nations
colonized more yeah because maybe i'd have a bigger dick if the if the black
people they do a little
bit they have the barclays center on if you've seen that yeah yeah it's
definitely getting hella urban
yeah but i just i've never had i've never had the ability to ask someone who's
asian or semi-asian
what it's like to have like what that relationship is like between black and asian
people yeah i mean
you know that it's more hostile between asians and asians brah really yeah i
mean because my dad
growing up he gave me a list of um the best and r.i.p your dad man you're dead
oh yeah thanks man but
he used to give me the list of the best ethnicities from best to worst right so
it went um number one was
korean because that's what we are number two it went japanese and jays huh
number three was like
cockroach oh right then four was white right five was snakes oh no bro that's
real six donkeys seven
mexicans right but out of he made a list of a hundred black people weren't even
on the list
really yeah they weren't even on the list i my list is blacks number one bro
yeah right so alan iverson
right alan iverson number one nasex nasex number two regular nase regular nase
right um big kim oh
not little kim but big kim she was always big kim yeah yeah big vagina big
vagina yeah dude yeah but um
no because that's you so my dad comes from a generation of korean dudes and
they had beef with black
people well their number one beef ultimately though was with um japanese and
now you know wow because
they they tortured us for 50 60 years no way yeah they really oh bro my dad
used to tell me some
stories that will fuck your mind i'm sorry about that what i didn't do it no i'm
just sorry that it
happened i feel bad that uh yeah i didn't know that happened what do you mean i
don't know my history
huh you know what's the most fucked up thing bro so the jab bro so the japanese
right yeah occupied
korea for all that time the japanese are very sneaky huh oh they're the sneakiest
pearl harbor bro
yeah right they were sleeping that you know what i mean
right daddy's gonna buy you
right they did all that oh they're sneaky little you know what i call them
sneaky chopsticks
yeah they're little sneaky chopsticks bro man but they make good ninjas that's
why they do huh yeah but
i guess because they have so much sneak in them they that's right right and
because i don't know
why they're where the masks yeah why because you know they all look the same
right right you're not
gonna you're not gonna see a tree with a ninja on it and go with no mask and go
hey is that frank
yamamoto you know you're gonna go no ninja or whatever ryan's a guy yeah dude
but so here's the thing
so okay so the japanese occupied korea 