Name: Back on the Road: Brad Williams & Jeff Dye | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #278
Uploaded: 2020-05-19T04:45:30.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Back on the Road: Brad Williams & Jeff Dye | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #278' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-05-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Back on the Road: Brad Williams & Jeff Dye | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #278' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-05-19. Transcript available.

Back on the Road: Brad Williams & Jeff Dye | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #278

today's episode is brought to you by gray block pizza gray block get that hitter
baby
today's guests are two comedians who have just broken back into performing live
stand-up comedy
that's right this weekend they were in oklahoma city and salt lake city and um
and i'm just really
curious as to what their what their experience was like we have uh comedian brad
williams and
comedian jeff dine
because you're definitely i remember the first time i ever met you brad it was
like i was at usc
i don't know what i was doing not learning i was there just as like an outsider
and uh
yeah and you came up on a motorbike yeah like a small motorbike yeah and i'd
never seen anything
like this like you know where i was growing up they had one man who was kind of
a smaller man that did
um mechanic work you know makes sense and he uh get in there yeah exactly yeah
oh yeah i remember
they would sometimes open the hood put him under there and then close the hood
and he'd fix it
while people were driving no just so just oh he would be in there like and he
would hide he would
do a lot of hiding i'm gonna hide you know which i think you know i don't know
that's an advantage
yeah but um but yeah man i remember and then you pulled up at a pretty good
clip of speed and i was
like oh my god i'm in another i like just got into los andes i'm like i'm in
another world well you
know that scare tactics show that you mentioned uh like they basically every
prank involved a little
person yeah they're like oh she's afraid of teddy bears what if we put uh what
if we put brad in
this teddy bear and we'll make him run around and make him act like a teddy
bear at first but then
i'll run around yeah that's good and then the next one's like some lab where it's
a giant rat and
they're like yeah put brad in a giant rat costume rat monster everything is
based around a little
person but yeah the guy not got no glory yeah and i i totally remember that
because that uh
ray a razor scooter uh released these electric scooters back in the day but
like they they had
one that was looked really cheesy and then they had one that looked like a like
a west coast chopper
yeah and i'm like all these other kids around usc get to class on a bike i'm
riding my west
coast chopper razor scooter so i would roll it was insane i'd never seen
anything like it
i didn't know the laws yeah at school because i was going there i went to usc
oh my gosh so like
yeah and i i think yeah i booked you for like a comedy show on campus or
something dude you must
have been a legend you were like how many doors you went to ufc uh ufc i don't
know where you went
you i'm not good with schools and letters yeah yeah it was a dwarf ufc happened
in a ball pit
it sounds awesome dude dude don't start something that's gonna be huge uh no uh
it was no it was me
and then there was a teacher there oh okay and everyone thought i was his kid
right like everyone
that's how dumb people are about dwarves they must be related yeah yeah
everyone thought that like
that's how i got in is like it's that oh well your dad works at usc so that's
how you got in it's like
no i got in it's because they needed something they need someone for the pamphlet
do you also i have a
regular brain and i'm a regular person they think there must be something yeah
yeah yeah no yeah
yeah yeah he got in because he cast a spell on the president yeah i've always
wondered like do you
like you know is it okay to talk about being somebody that is a small person or
smaller a little bit
different sure um but what i'm thinking is like sometimes i'll see like you
know they have lgtbq
yeah but they don't factor in like uh but little people don't get factored into
that well well that's
the lpa community oh little people of america okay that's not even a joke it's
it's a it's yeah lpa
which was started by billy barty uh the actor and then actually when they
started they were called
midgets of america and then they changed it so that's why yeah there it is so
uh that so that
yeah when they started it it was called midgets of america killed it man this
guy was in everything
yeah so wait so this guy started the lpa yep and so yeah so there's a lot of
dwarves that have
boned each other because of this man oh nice because he started lpa oh because
then it's a place to
meet other people that are smaller thank you thank you for what you did there's
without this guy we
wouldn't have all those shitty shows on tlc which were some of my favorite
shows too
i hate those shows on tlc really yeah like we're a family of little people you're
like i don't give
a shit and they literally like aren't we're just like everyone else you're like
then why am i watching
it yeah if you're just like everyone else then why is this why what but that
one family you're
little man yeah little people big world yeah i hate them i loved them why not
me the sister
was fine bro why is the dad i mean when she was older sitting in the tall dude's
lap like it looks
like the dad that's disrespectful in that photo it looks like the dad is
sitting in the tall dude i
hate these shows i hate these kind of shows yeah well what fascinated about me
about this show i
remember specifically was they ran a pumpkin ranch yeah and the fact in my mind
yeah blew my mind that
you had small people growing the largest vegetable number i used to do i used
to do jokes about it i was
like these are big squash they're just lugging around like ants bro that's like
think of it like
yeah that yeah i mean oh there you go it would it would make way more sense
that they're like oh
uh they have a strawberry patch yeah like yeah cherries make sense let me
hustle these kumquats
that's where i was gonna go um yeah there's like no we no we got pumpkins baby
tomatoes we're just
overachievers i love it do you sometimes but sometimes do you ever look at like
a gay person
or a a diverse person a black person uh maybe a vietnamese maybe a fun question
for me to answer
let's go and does it ever but you don't talk about i just love you're searching
for uh words to feel
okay filipino uh you know people like you know uh but do you know when i'm
talking about unique
friends i'll call them lightly hey man we're only white guys we don't got a
thing but is there
camaraderie there like if you see like if you're walking down the street like
in like a white
neighborhood and there's a black guy and he's walking down the street is there
camaraderie if you
guys see each other kind of oh between like me and a black guy yeah no but i
will say this uh there's
not that instant there there isn't that instant camaraderie but i i used to do
a bit about this
and it's real like i would loved how black people would react to seeing dwarves
oh like it it was
never totally different yeah it was never just like there's a person and like
it was never that
it was like oh shit little man like that's my god like they dab you up always
like always like
insanely friendly but yet kind of insulting you know it's like oh what up big
man it's like why
would you say big man to me that is like what do you see a guy in a wheelchair
and just be like yo
legs what's going on like but also it does feel kind of good because like this
black guy's being
really nice to me but also yeah i should get mad at him for doing yeah yeah
yeah and then uh and then
like like there was one time it was yo legs what up big man it was back when i
was at usc that hurts me
man that they do that i always found it funny i was uh i was at usc and then i
was on the street
where all the fraternities are it's called it's called the row it's where all
uh fraternity
rory rows are and i was with a few of my friends and like a group of black guys
came up to me and my
buddies and just started like like aggressively positively complimenting me but
then calling
me the n-word but like and then like one of my friends got jealous he's like
what i'm not a
and and and and and they looked at him like no like hell no so you don't we're
cool with the little
one yeah yeah yeah i gotta pass so you don't so you get so there's times where
you get an n-word
pass i like not to say it but i get called it right and you get to be one yeah
wow you're really in
but yeah that's crazy yeah so so there's not like now if i walk down the street
and i see
another person who has some kind of disability either they're in a chair or an
or an another
dwarf then then we give each other like a nod like what's up okay you know the
struggle i love it so
but but but that kind of stops there it doesn't go into like because yeah i
always wondered like if
you see a black guy and they're in like a play like because you know a lot of
black people feel
like outliers kind of you know in the in the u.s and so i was wondering like
but they don't do that
with each other either it's not like black people nod at like uh puerto ricans
or vietnamese or like
you know i'm saying i don't know i don't think that they do that that doesn't
cross borders like
lesbians aren't like what's up black guy like this has been three white guys
discuss race
but i don't think they do that we're just wondering i don't know you're the
closest thing we have to a
black guy right now you know what i'm saying not enough you know the ass for it
yeah wait so when
you're in texas with the guys that you went to like high school with and stuff
and you guys are
just it's just you guys back home yeah do you guys give each other n-word
passes oh that's a good
point i mean people use it a lot more i don't think anybody's giving passes
though you guys just give
it to each other i think people definitely maybe stole a packet of passes yeah
yeah yo look what i got
these passes we can use while we're at home tonight just us i think people
somebody definitely stole a
packet of passes from the principal's office oh man they're everywhere in texas
man like uh i just
remember ralphie may would always just say it and not care like you would say
it because he was at a
weight i feel like he was like a kind of a weight you know like a like he had
that like he had a
i never understood how he got away with it if you get to a certain level of
something where it's like
you feel like maybe like you're an outcast or something then you always go i'm
from chattanooga
so i can say it's like i've been to chattanooga it's like the most segregated
place in the world
dude he used to say chattanooga here black there he did really yeah he say i'm
the number one chatta
oh really and finish it off yeah that's wild and chattanooga is definitely a
little racist anyway
it's so segregated and if he's a big fat white guy he was probably on the white
side i mean just by name
i don't mean just by name dude you know like if you're like if your high school's
like the nougers
like that's insane oh uh look this up there's gotta stop there's a i don't know
if it's a high school
or a college um in oklahoma where like their mascot is like the fighting midgets
really yeah
and like everyone uh there's some high school there was one in illinois
actually i know a kid that i
went to a school when the midget was the mascot of fighting midgets midgets
mascot dickinson high
south dakota oh south dakota north dakota there it is dickinson high school in
north dakota oh
now they changed it they changed it from the midgets to the mustangs i don't
know if i like that
the little people of america have more clout than all of native americans
because like redskins they're
just like we're not changing them man yeah yeah yeah well in fact on opening
day we're gonna bring out
some native americans we'll pay them some money put them in chiefs jerseys or
whatever yeah yeah
jerseys yeah and say no we're cool with it before they even consider changing
it right we'll have we'll
have chief wahoo yeah from the cleveland indians yeah who's just a white guy
who's like riding a
horse out there i love chief wahoo though i got my big fan of chief wahoo
really you know the guy
no i don't know the guy but i'm saying li