Name: Dodgers Pitcher Walker Buehler | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #285
Uploaded: 2020-07-06T17:36:28.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dodgers Pitcher Walker Buehler | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #285' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-07-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dodgers Pitcher Walker Buehler | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #285' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-07-06. Transcript available.

Dodgers Pitcher Walker Buehler | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #285

Coming up on his third season as a starter for the Los Angeles Dodgers,
here to talk about the revamped Major League Baseball season and what that's
going to look
like, it's my friend and all-star pitcher, Mr. Walker Bueller.
I'll sit and tell you my stories, shine on me, and I will find a song I'll be
singing
just for me.
What'd you get, a Beagle?
We got a Boykin Spaniel, it's like a little brown stick.
And what can it do, can it jump high or anything?
Right now.
Oh, wow.
Hunting.
Really?
Now, how much training goes into training like a hunting dog?
I'm going to send it away.
You have to send it away for like six months.
No way.
Out of America or no?
No, that breeds like all South Carolina, so you send it there, Huntsville maybe.
Dude, I'd send that little bastard to Japan, dude, have him come back like a
little ninja,
you know?
Then they wouldn't know what ducks are looking for.
That's true, that's true.
That's true, dude.
But he'd be able to sneak into somebody's house at night, though.
For sure.
Real quiet.
The ninja hunting dog.
He'd be able to use a sword.
You'd be like, dang, that's the only dog that can use a sword, man.
Walker Bueller, you guys are back in training camp.
Now, what do you guys, what does baseball call it?
Well, I've heard summer camp, which is an interesting one.
It sounds like I'm going to swim to the lake or something.
But no, I think kind of spring training 2.0 is what they're kind of going with.
And so you were saying you had a place out here in L.A. and then you had to get,
you had to, you were ready to come back for the season, right?
And then you had to just nix it.
Yeah.
So for us, we kind of get six, eight-month leases, just trying to find
somewhere for the season.
And then I got wrangled into a 10-month lease because I really wanted this
place.
And I was up in the hills.
And it was like, this is my last year on my first part of my rookie deal.
So I was like, all right, I'll just get the cool one.
You'll spend a little extra cash.
I'm going to splurge a little bit.
And then we're not here for three months.
So, no, I got lucky somebody leased it out and I got to find another place.
But, yeah, we were a little disappointed.
Dang.
And so the time at home, were you like uncertain up until the last minute?
Or is like, is the players, like who's communicating with the, excuse me, who's
communicating with the players like, we're going to do something, we're not
going to play, we are, like, is there, how does that work for you guys?
Yeah, so we have, obviously, we have our big players union, right?
But we have, like, a rep for each team.
And, of course, I got thrown into being our rep two weeks before baseball ended
up coming back.
So I jumped into this stuff, like, way late.
So you were the team's rep for the Dodgers?
Yeah, so it was JT.
And now I'm our rep.
But I had been kind of just sitting back, chilling, waiting to hear when we
were going to play.
And then two weeks before everything kind of came together, it was like, hey,
Walk, now you're talking for us.
So a lot of group me's on a set of, hey, what do you guys think?
Damn.
Yeah, it's pretty complicated.
All the stuff that goes into it that I didn't even really know about.
And then it's like, hey, you're right in the middle of it.
So it's been a little bit of a learning curve kind of, huh?
Oh, for sure, for sure.
Yeah.
And what's going to be different about the season?
So the season is happening.
Mm-hmm.
And you guys are in spring training, summer camp 2.0 right now.
And what's going to be different about the season?
Well, first off, they're telling us that you only have a certain amount of guys
in the dugout, which is weird because we all sit in there and hang out and
bullshit and whatever during the games.
So now they're saying, if you're not playing, you have to sit in the stands.
No way.
So there are going to be fans in the stands, except they're going to be us
wearing our full uniforms.
Oh, I was going to say, you should be changing into something more relaxing, I
feel like.
Right.
Yeah, I mean, it's odd.
I talked to Kersh the other day, and I told him, they also said we can go home,
which is like not something that has ever been okay.
So I told him, hey, I may never watch you throw live all year.
And he said, what are you talking about?
I said, I'm just going to sit in the pool and watch you on TV if I can leave.
Oh, because you wouldn't even have to be there because usually the bullpen's
there and stuff, you mean.
Right, the bullpen will still be out there, but us, we'll just, starting pitchers
usually sit right there in the dugout and kind of hang out.
So if we can leave.
Dan, it's almost like, you think you'll miss that part?
Yeah, you know what's weird is in Asia, that's like standard operating
procedure for them.
So they leave what?
Like if they're not pitching, they're not there?
Yeah, they go in during the afternoon, get their stuff done.
An hour before the game, they just head out.
But we had a Korean guy, Hyunjin Ryu, that he like hated watching games because
he'd never done it his whole life.
And then he comes to America and like expected to stay forever.
Dude, I'm not kidding you.
That guy would be out of the locker room within five minutes of the last out.
I don't even think he showered at the field.
I think he just threw his shit on his roll.
He's like, I'm not even getting paid for this overtime.
He's like, I want to go to dinner.
Wow, that's crazy.
I went to actually a baseball game one time in Japan.
Really?
Yeah, it was pretty cool.
I went to one in Japan and I went to one in Cuba once.
Cuba?
Yeah, I went to, I was in this school, like this school program.
And we got to go abroad.
And one of the like things we got to do when we were there was go to baseball.
Interesting.
Yeah, that's pretty sweet.
I got to play in Cuba for a week.
No way.
Yeah, so I guess there's some sports diplomacy law or something like at that
time we were
like the only Americans ever allowed in there.
Yeah.
And so we went and we lost all five games.
I was really happy about that.
Well, maybe subliminally.
I don't think you really want to win over there.
Right.
But we had a good time.
It was fun.
Dang.
And do you notice anything different like about, do you notice anything
different about
the way that they were, that they play or anything?
Yeah, I will tell you the big, the weirdest thing that they do.
So you know how like if you strike somebody out, they throw the ball around and
it just
goes once to the third baseman, to the shortstop, to the second baseman, and
they throw it
back to the pitcher.
That's how they do it here in the U.S.?
Yes.
Okay.
In Cuba, they make 30 throws.
They throw it to the catcher.
The pitcher will get it, throw it back to the shortstop.
The games take 40 minutes.
That kid in Major League gets it.
He throws it in the home plate.
Yeah.
Fan gets a toss one in.
I mean, it's wild.
Really?
Yeah.
And the games took like 30 minutes longer because they're just flinging the
ball around after
every strikeout.
That's pretty wild.
I remember one time, actually, because one of the things I was doing when I was
traveling,
I went on this thing called Semester at Sea, and it was like a school that goes
on a ship
and takes you to different countries when you're a student.
And so we went to Hong Kong, and so I remember just walking around during the
day and playing
pickup basketball games and stuff.
And the thing that they do there like that was different, after somebody scores,
they like
run it back.
Like whoever gets out of the net runs it.
You don't dribble it or pass it up.
You run it up to the top of the key and then start the game again.
Yeah.
It's really bizarre, dude.
And they would kind of frown on you.
Like if you threw it up there, they would kind of throw it back and you had to
like run
it.
Like, hey, stop.
Yeah.
It was like, and it feels weird just to run with a basketball, you know?
Yeah.
So you're playing running back.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It feels like a crime.
But I remember that was like the strangest thing that I remember that was just
like a sport
in a different country.
I don't think I've ever heard that.
So with the dugout, say in a regular game, you know, can you go over to the
other team's
dugout or?
No.
If you do that, normally there's a fight involved.
I don't know if you saw last year, there was a guy named Amir Garrett who
pitches for
the Reds.
He played basketball at St. John's.
He's a big, tall dude, reliever for the Reds.
Right.
And they were, Reds and Pirates had this whole beef all year.
He just ran directly at their dugout.
One on 30.
Oh, really?
He started throwing bombs at people.
I played with that catcher too, Kyle Farmer.
He seemed like he's ready to cause a little trouble too, man.
Georgia boy.
Oh, yeah.
Look at this.
He's been traded.
He's been traded so much, huh?
Well, we.
He seems like that girl in the NBA that everybody bangs.
I can't remember her name.
Okay.
Hey, we're going to need someone.
We're going to need someone.
And he takes the ball.
So they came to get him out of there.
Go get him out of there.
And then he said, all right, come on.
Oh, damn.
This is crazy.
He's searching for someone.
They have three guys converging to stop it.
Third day is starting.
This is his target.
Crick comes out.
This guy comes out.
This guy.
That's a bad boy.
I think that one guy.
And then full on.
Oh, he's trying to slap.
Look at them all.
They're like, all right.
Yeah, it is a little bit, man.
This is as good as it gets in a baseball brawl.
Wow.
So if you're on the mound, right?
Now, usually it seems like the pitcher is kind of the one that starts the brawl.
Yeah, it usually boils down to somebody getting hit.
So the pitcher is always involved.
Now, me being a smaller guy, we do rehearse my moves if anything like that ever
happens.
Like, what do you mean?
Like, you rehearse your move?
Well, somebody's going to run at me if I ever get into one of these situations.
Okay.
Yeah, because you'll hit them on accident.
Yes.
Okay.
On accident.
And then, so they'll come at you.
So you have it kind of rehearsed what to do then?
Right, because they're going to be bigger than me.
Right.
Because I'm small.
Right.
So we've boiled down.
I either have to slowly creep, wait for the corner infielders to come and get
them for me.
Right.
Or I got to go with a drop kick.
Okay.
Those are really my only two options.
I think it's a mass thing.
I just can't.
Yeah.
Or you just fling the glove.
That one's been done before.
How do you, here, move this a little closer if you don't mind.
How do you, so, because your size, like, how does your size compare to some of
the pitchers
that are out there?
Because Kershaw is way taller than you.
Yeah, Kershaw is about two inches taller, but he's about 40 pounds heavier than
me.
Okay, yeah.
30 pounds heavier than me.
I'll give him the benefit of the doubt there.
Yeah, I'm just, I'm skinny, you know, compared to most guys.
Most guys are pretty thick.
And does one of your arms weigh more than the other one of your arms or not?
You know, I don't know.
I think they're probably pretty close.
I would imagine the right one's a little bit bigger, just because the extra ligament
in there.
So maybe a couple ounces heavier.
Because you, what, you got an extra ligament put in?
Yeah, so I tore the one, but they left it and put a new one in there.
So.
Where did they get that one from?
They cut it right out of my wrist.
And is that Tommy John surgery or no?
Yeah, that's Tommy John.
Okay, so Tommy John surgery is in the.
Yeah, so you can see the scar here is right here.
Oh, wow.
But they cut, so if you go like this and then move your finger up, see that big
line?
I've got it on that one, but not on this one, because that's what they cut out
and put back in my elbow.
Wow.
Yeah.
So, yeah, because I always thought Tommy John was a shoulder.
It's not.
No, that's, Tommy John's the elbow.
Labrum or rotator cuff is a shoulder.
That's a bad deal.
It is?
Yeah, Tommy John they're