Name: Chelcie Lynn | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #292
Uploaded: 2020-08-20T17:49:12.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chelcie Lynn | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #292' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-08-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chelcie Lynn | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #292' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-08-20. Transcript available.

Chelcie Lynn | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #292

Today's guest is hilarious. She makes me laugh. She makes me feel good.
You know, she's an uplifting gal.
And I'm just really just, I mean, I'm just tickled.
I am just tickled to have her.
It is comedian Chelsea Lynn.
Can you imagine a skullet between your legs?
I cannot, and very few women get to know what that's like.
I do.
Well, you want air conditioner.
It's hot. I'm sweating.
Are you?
Yeah.
Well, I'm large. Thank you.
Yeah.
So I have an extra layer anyway, so I get hot.
But yeah, it's hot in here.
Is your, I know I've seen some of your family members that are more kind of a
Rubenesque vibe.
Do you feel, do you, is your family just kind of a bigger family?
No.
No, not at all.
I've got two sisters and an aunt and cousins, and that's really about it.
Yeah. Everybody else is dead.
Really?
Yeah.
Or just don't have relationships with them.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
One or the other.
Dang.
Yeah.
No, my air conditioner went out yesterday.
So there's no air in here.
Oh, there's air.
I just turned it off.
Made it colder.
Oh, you did?
Just now, as you were saying.
It'll be good.
We'll just sweat the whole time.
Yeah, we'll be fine.
There's no.
There's no rules to this.
Theo lost it in his apartment.
Yeah.
Oh, and it's been hotter than.
Yeah.
This is like Texas heat.
Yeah.
We're not used to this out here.
Well, it's bad, and I just didn't know what to do, so I got one of those floor
fans, and
I took all the ice out of the freezer and put it right on the floor right in
front of it.
Did it work?
Like on a cookie sheet.
Did it work?
That's supposed to work.
I think it did something.
But you're used to luxury.
I'm not used to luxury, but I'm used to freaking having air conditioning.
Yeah, which is luxury.
Look, you know what?
You really, I'll tell you this, the second went, an hour after it went out, I
was Googling
like Native American shit.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm starting to see.
Yeah.
I'm texting my mom.
I'm like, aren't we part Cherokee or whatever?
I can't even handle, you know, just the lack of just.
Yeah, man.
Just the comfort.
For real.
And damn, I just feel bad.
Greg, my husband, bitches about the electric bill, because I run the air 24-7.
Yeah.
I keep it on like 68.
He freaks the fuck out.
Yeah.
Okay.
My stepmom does that.
She's on pills, though.
Oh, yeah.
That makes sense.
Yeah.
If you're on pills, dude, you gotta have.
Yeah.
I can't even.
Dude, nothing goes with a Percocet, like a little bit of air conditioning, you
know?
Yeah, that makes sense for sure.
But I'm sorry I interrupted you.
Go on.
Oh, I don't even know what I was talking about.
But he, so he, you have the air conditioning.
Oh, so that's what I, that's what I spend my money on.
Yeah.
Is air conditioning.
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
I'm dead serious.
Comfort.
Yeah.
Last summer, one of our bills was like $1,200 for the, yeah.
And I was like, he threw a, I was like, I don't give a fuck.
Yeah.
I'm comfortable.
Yeah.
That's all that matters.
We're doing it.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
If this is living large, this is living large, son.
Exactly.
I like that.
Yeah.
And you guys live in.
San Diego.
San Diego.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because I saw you down there at the comedy store.
Yeah.
That's the first time, yeah, I ever knew about you.
So here's what happened.
Here's how I discovered you.
Okay.
So I was like, man, I want to go see some comedy.
I was like, let's, let's take a look.
You know, I looked up the comedy stores going, going through the schedule.
Didn't really see anybody that I knew.
Saw a picture of you.
I go, oh, he's cute as shit.
Oh, damn.
Let me YouTube, see, see if, you know, I want to go see him.
First video, I was like, I'm buying fucking tickets.
Oh, dang.
Started following you on Instagram.
You had like 17,000 followers, maybe.
Oh, dang.
Yeah.
Started following you.
God, I was almost a damn shelter animal.
Went and saw you.
You were so fucking funny.
And afterwards were so fucking nice to me and my sisters.
I was like, forever fan.
Forever fucking fan, man.
That's sweet of me.
And then, yeah, and then you blew up and now I'm on your podcast.
I'm freaking out.
I know.
It's so awesome.
Thanks for having me.
No, I'm so happy to have you.
And I'm glad, I mean, I think we really lucked out even by having you on this
week because
I feel like you're kind of having like a moment a little bit.
Is that crazy to say that?
I know that sounds really.
No, that's really weird.
For a lot of people, it's kind of coming out of the closet or whatever, but
this is like
a, like a, like a, like I saw you on Michael Bisping's damn Instagram and
I'm just like, how are all these worlds, Kalani, he's damn British.
I went viral a couple of days ago.
You know, he's a one-eyed British man.
Dude, I don't know.
It's just, I'm just rolling.
I'm just rolling with it.
Yeah.
Day to day.
I have no idea what's happening.
I'm just like, all right, let's do this.
But, and you just hit a million on Instagram.
Yeah.
You know what?
Instagram hits different.
So I have a million on every-
On YouTube, I know.
Go on, sorry.
Everywhere else I have a million.
I just started TikTok and got a million on TikTok in like two months and I've
posted like
four videos.
And I'm just kind of like, okay, million, whatever.
I don't really care.
Something about Instagram, man.
I'm like, I hit a million on Instagram.
I think because it's harder to grow on Instagram.
People are stingy with that follow button.
Yeah, people are a little stingy.
Yeah.
I think especially right now, I feel like people have been, you know, I feel
like there's,
it's, Instagram's been a while, around for a while now.
Yeah.
So it's not, you know, people aren't just as like, oh yeah, I'm getting, you
know, I'm
in, I'm following anybody, you know, I'll follow any, you know, there's a time
I'll
follow anybody with a damn tits, you know?
Yeah, yeah.
I'll follow anybody that's not in a damn wheelchair, you know what I'm saying?
My requirements were very slim at a certain point.
Right, yeah, yeah.
But now it's a little bit more, you know.
Yep, exactly.
But that had to feel good.
When did that happen?
When did you hit a million?
Like two days ago.
Wow.
Two days ago.
And what were y'all doing?
Where were you?
I mean, this is your damn freaking electronic JFK right here.
Oh gosh, just sitting on my couch in a muumuu, just watching Dateline.
Oh.
And I was like, oh, I had a friend text me and he was like, oh, congratulations
on
the muumuu.
I'm like, oh, I knew what happened that day.
But I was like, oh, I get on there.
I'm like, hey, look at that.
And that was pretty much it.
Everybody's like, hey, you're going to celebrate.
I'm like, celebrate?
Like, you know how people get balloons and shit?
Yeah.
I made fun of it a while back and my sister was going to get me balloons just
to fuck
with me.
And I was like, you, I'll pop them.
Do not fucking get me.
Congratulations balloons.
Holy shit.
That's embarrassing.
Do not.
I'll pop them.
Dude, there almost is.
Look, I think if you're getting congratulations balloons, you weren't doing
enough with your
life.
I'm going to go out on a damn limb and say that.
Oh my God.
Because anytime somebody needs to get you damn balloons to show that you have
some kind
of damn achievement.
Holy shit.
That's funny.
Sometimes it's just, God, I don't know.
You see some fucktard walk over with a pack of balloons and a damn, you know.
And then my aunt one time, like they have the little thing that's filled with a,
it has
a balloon, another balloon that's empty.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's filled with something.
Confetti or, yeah, yeah, candy.
Yeah, and she would open that and it's sand, no, but it was just sand, you know
what I'm
saying?
It was just like sand and she.
If you're buying a balloon in a balloon, you got money.
You got money.
That's not a regular balloon, you know.
Yeah, you definitely got money there.
But yeah, that had to be so wild.
But that's when I was just like, holy smokes, like this is so crazy and it's so
awesome that
everybody starts to know about you, you know.
Yeah, yeah, it's super weird.
Because you're so funny and do you feel like you're funny comes from where?
Like, because you weren't a stand-up to start with.
No, no.
So how did, yeah, let's do your origin story, damn it.
Yeah.
Where do you want to start?
Clark Kent, start in the damn mailroom.
So, you know, I don't know where the funny comes from.
I think I had such a, I guess, a shitty childhood that I kind of had to, you
know, I was the
poor kid in school.
I was the large kid in school, you know, so I had to have something.
Yeah.
So I think that just like came out of me, probably early junior high.
Were you funny then?
Yeah, I think so.
Oh, I wish we had those videos.
Yeah, yeah.
I know.
I was thinking about that.
I was like, man, I wish I could vlog back then.
Oh, my God, to see that shit.
So funny.
Where were you funny at?
Like, was there like an environment that you were kind of really shined in?
You know, was it a particular place or with a certain group?
I've always remembered this, and this may be cheesy as hell, but I remember the
first time
I made a room laugh, and I was in seventh grade basketball practice.
And we, after practice.
Damn sex symbol basketball?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
Went back to the locker room.
Everybody's getting ready for class or whatever.
I don't even know what was said.
I have no clue.
But I had been to this school about a month.
So I didn't really know, you know.
And I don't know what I said, but the whole fucking locker room was piss in
their pants.
Yeah.
And somebody goes, she's funny.
And that always just stuck with me.
I'm like, oh.
You know, kind of, so that was like the first time I remember like, you know,
wow.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's something, when you're saying that, it makes me, it takes me back
to those
times.
Yeah, but like, there's something magical when you don't feel like you have
something that
people, that people see, you know.
And then when they say that you're funny, you're like, oh.
Yeah.
Oh, it's almost like, thank God.
There's some, I have some way.
Yeah.
For people to see me, you know.
Do you ever say something, do you ever say something and then somebody dies
laughing and
you didn't think it was funny, but they thought it was the funniest thing they've
ever heard
in their life?
That happens to me all the time.
I'm like, I am not that funny.
And they're like dying.
Well, I think you start to become, well, some people start to become kind of,
there's times
where I know I'm doing something funny and people don't know it yet.
That's always kind of fun when like, and it's not that I'm doing it on purpose,
it's just
I know my brain starts to see a pattern of like, oh, this is where they're at
and this
is where my brain is over here right now.
And so in a second, this is all, you know, this corner is going to turn or
something.
Yeah.
Um, sometimes though, people like stuff like I'm one, I watch when I watch your
videos,
I notice a lot.
There's a little things that I like, like when you're causing Jim, when that
little fellow
just turns his head at a certain angle and I just see the cut of that boy's
damn where
his neck just runs right into his damn forehead.
I found that guy on Instagram.
I flew him out to do a video.
I said, you got to come do a video with me.
I love that.
Just the look.
And then I love him.
And so I think there's one thing that, that really for me about you is that you're
the
people you find funny, I find so funny that it's like, oh wow, I can trust her
on different
levels.
Not only to entertain me, but also like, uh, she sees like something that, that
a lot of
people maybe wouldn't see.
You know, I mean, some people see this fellow little Jim and they might even,
you know,
somebody probably damn molest him.
You know, you get a couple of damn, you know, closeted football players.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
For sure.
And they'll play damn fullback in a fucking haunted house with this dude, you
know, but,
um, but yeah, I think that's o