Name: Mid-Sized Animal Control Man | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #330
Uploaded: 2021-03-24T13:00:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Mid-Sized Animal Control Man | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #330' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-03-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Mid-Sized Animal Control Man | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #330' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-03-24. Transcript available.

Mid-Sized Animal Control Man | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #330

Today's guest is an outdoorsman and indoorsman, hell, if the animals have
gotten indoors.
And he is, well, he's a mid-sized animal control man.
And he can handle anything from, you know, I'm going to go on from mouse to bobcat
style.
That includes woodpecker, flying squirrel, deer, hornet beaver, coyote, skunk,
bats, and more.
That's this man.
His company is titled Hawk Predator and Wildlife Control.
He has been in the game for a while since he was a child and animals were
bothering him.
And now he bothers them.
He's the dog, the bounty hunter of mid-sized animals.
Animals.
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Marty Voyers.
If you're hunting, um, if you're hunting, um, if you're hunting like vertigo,
you're not going to go to your home.
You're not going to go to your home.
You're not going to go to your home.
You're not going to go to your home.
You're not going to go to your home.
You're not going to go to your home.
You're not going to go to your home.
You're not going to go to your home.
You're not going to go to your home.
You're not going to go to your home.
You're not going to go to your home.
You're not going to go to your home.
You're not going to go to your home.
You're not going to go to your home.
You're not going to go to your home.
You're not going to go to your home.
If you're hunting, um, if you're hunting like vermin, do you need energy drink?
I drink a lot of coffee.
Do you?
Well, I drink Mountain Dew.
Diet Mountain Dew.
Okay, yeah.
I'm on a no-card kick.
I've lost.
I went from 260 down to 238 two days ago, so I'm trying to get some weight back
off.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
And what are you leaning up for?
To hunt animal?
Oh, I just do.
So I don't get rid of that.
Oh, okay.
It's kind of hard to get through a crawl space and through an attic door if you're
big as hell.
Well, every space is a damn crawl space when you're big, I guess.
Do we, um, is this, I mean, do you, are you cussing?
I don't know.
Oh, yeah, we can say whatever you want.
Okay, I just don't want to.
No, I appreciate it, man.
I don't want to say something I shouldn't say, so.
Oh, yeah.
The only things I don't say in here usually are, I don't say, I guess, I don't
say the
N word.
I don't say, like, uh, F-A-G-G-O-T.
I don't say that.
And I don't say, I don't say, like, a lot of British curse words, like C-U-N-T.
I don't say that.
I don't say P-U-S-S-Y.
I don't say, like, labia.
I don't say stuff like that.
I don't say none of that anyway.
Okay, yeah.
But anything else is good.
Or it's fine.
You know, it's not good.
But it is whatever you want it to be.
I've watched some of your podcasts.
I've tried to study and watched some of your podcasts.
Well, I don't know if that's good or not, man.
I mean, all of it's a little bit different, you know.
I think, you know, first of all, I appreciate you coming in.
How do you say your name so I know what I'm saying?
Marty.
Okay.
Voyeurs.
Voyeurs.
Think this is more than one peeping Tom.
Oh, yeah.
Voyeurs.
You have a voyeur or you have a voyeurs.
Oh, yeah.
We had voyeurs usually where I'm from.
We had, I remember we had to, if you wanted to go out Tom and repeat Tom, and
they called it,
you had to get a ladder from a guy because nobody around us had a ladder.
So, we'd go over there and say, look, Wednesday, you know, about 4.35 p.m., we
want that ladder, you know.
And we'd get out there and peep in time.
And I actually, I enjoyed, I mean, as a kid, it was, you know what?
Where is this at?
You're doing this?
This, I'm from Louisiana.
Louisiana, okay.
So, it reminded me of, we didn't have cable for a while.
So, I know you'd go over to some people's house and it was like watching, it
was like watching television almost.
You know, the windows even shaped like a dang television.
So, I remember sitting out there and just, you know, you know, the show isn't
that good.
It's just a family eating damn, you know, TV dinners and stuff.
But it was still local programming, I guess.
But that's just a way to, I mean, I don't like that you say that my dad cringes
when I do that.
But for somebody that doesn't know how to pronounce my name, it's.
Voyeurs.
Voyeurs, yeah.
It's French.
There you go.
Yeah.
And that's the only thing I just, I mean, on the youth is, I mean, I just don't
like, because some people don't want to talk about, I say, oh, yeah.
If they're like, are you going to relocate him?
I'm like, well, I'm going to take care of him.
But, you know, I make the customer feel good.
Well, some animals, you relocate them to the Lord.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, that's how I kind of see it.
You know, some of them, that's life, you know.
Well, I mean, look, it's an interesting job you have.
So, your name is French, I guess.
And the French are notorious fur trappers, aren't they?
Is that true or not?
I guess they're fur trappers there.
Do you feel that in your genetics ever?
Well, I'm a fur, I mean, I trap.
Oh, you do?
Oh, yeah.
No, I sent, I sent them guys a ton of pics.
I run a winter trap line, predator trap line.
Oh, wow.
Last year, I ended up with 66 coyotes and four bobcats and a lot of other miscellaneous
animals, foxes and raccoons.
But I do that every year in the wintertime, starting in November to February 28th.
It's, I'm slow.
My business is slow in the winter.
And my farming is none in the winter, just the fact of feeding cattle and a fur
trap.
And I go, and that helps my business.
And I do a lot of, in the wintertime, I'll do it for free.
You know, I tell, if you've got coyote problems, I'll come take care of your
coyotes, and I'll do it for free.
Okay.
So, when you're dealing with a coyote, take me through that process.
So, somebody calls you and says, hey, bucko, we got a coyote out here.
We got something.
What's the usual complaint if they don't know that it's a coyote, that it's?
Getting her to have something killing her calves.
Okay.
Which, more than likely, it's usually something the calf dies, and the coyote
is seen eating on it, or tracks, and he gets the blame.
Oh, damn.
But, I mean, they'll get a newborn.
They'll get a calf while a cow's having it.
She's defenseless.
I didn't mean to.
She's defenseless when it's coming out of her, and sometimes they'll grab it
then.
That's when they'll attack.
She can't fight, defend them.
And they'll eat the afterbirth, but they'll come after a sick, you know, nature.
They'll come after something sick.
You know, if it's injured or sick, they'll come after it.
But, you know, I get a lot of calls for that, raiding chicken houses, chicken
coops, or their ducks missing.
Oh, yeah.
That's just like on that cartoon.
Remember that?
Wasn't that cartoon where it was always in the hen house?
I'm trying to think of what it was.
That one with the big rooster.
Oh, I.
You know what I'm talking about a little bit?
Yeah, the big, he had the little, he had to bit the, I say, I say, yeah, yeah,
that guy.
Had the little, the little, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, running around the little,
little itty-bitty chicken.
These fellas right here.
Yeah.
Foghorn Leghorn, dude.
And Foghorn Leghorn, I think that's Dutch, that name.
But, yeah, he was in new, yeah, he always had some issue.
Yeah, it was something breaking in.
So, for coyotes, so that's fascinating.
So, we're talking to Mr. Voyers here, and you deal with all types of, basically,
animalia that are problems, right?
Yes, sir.
Okay.
And so, I want to get immediately back into that coyote question, because that's
just, so is it kind of crazy to think that they'll attack during the birth, huh?
Yeah, they'll go after a cow or an animal, deer, cow.
They're having, they're young, they're defenseless, and they'll try to go after
them then in cases.
Deer, the fawn, that's one of their main predators, is coyote.
Wow.
For the mortality rate for a baby deer, it's a fawn, is coyotes.
They'll get the animals when they're weak, sick, and just kind of Mother Nature
help them clean up, and they'll get one when it's sick, take it out.
And do you see that as, like, it's almost like that's, like, Mother Nature
doing, or do you feel like that that's, like, damn, it's kind of cheating?
Or do you feel like that's kind of just the way that Mother Nature works?
I mean, you have something that's, like, not going to make it through the
winter, it's going to starve to death, Mother Nature's taking out something to
feed the other, and it's not going to suffer.
It's Mother Nature.
Yeah.
But, I mean, sometimes Mother Nature's cruel.
She's very cruel sometimes.
She is.
She's really stepmother nature almost sometimes, you know?
There you go.
I feel like, you know.
I mean, I don't know.
I love my step-bobs.
I've got a great step-bobs, though.
Yeah, I mean, I don't know.
I've got a great mother and a great step-bobs.
Oh, you do?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, your dad picked some good ones, huh?
Oh, yeah.
I love my parents.
They're the best.
They raise me up good, and they're the best.
So, now, were you into dealing with animals at a young age?
Because if you're a real animal man, then you, I'm guessing, you really got
into animalia pretty young, huh?
My grandfather got me into trapping.
I grew up going over to the farm every weekend when I was a youngster, and he
got me into trapping groundhogs, getting rid of the groundhogs.
I started trapping there and just worked my way up over the years, and he
bought me my first traps at the feed store, and it just worked up over time.
And what kind of traps were those, those first traps?
My first traps were one-and-a-half leg holds, like foot traps.
Bring that up, Sean.
I just want to see what that looks like, so we got an idea of it.
So, now, tell me how this thing works here.
How does this kind of trap work?
It's a spring trap.
When you compress the sides of whichever one you were looking at, you compress
the sides of it, and it's got a latch and a pan.
And when you latch the pan, and then you'll cover it up.
You bed the trap down, cover it up.
Sometimes I make a bait hole.
Sometimes I don't, or it's a walk-through set.
Or if it's groundhog, I place it down in the den for the groundhog.
And I don't use that method in my business.
But growing up trapping, that's how I got rid of the groundhog.
And now, why would you do, so when you say bedding, you put like a leaves and
stuff over it, some kind of camo?
In essence, I bed the trap down to where they don't see it.
Okay.
You kind of dig out a hole, and you place the trap down, cover it up to where
they walk in, they don't see it, but they step on it.
And they're going after, like if it's a coyote or a predator, I use a bait hole,
which I'll dig a little hole in the ground and put a commercial lure of bait in
it.
So the coyote's concentrating on that, and we'll dig it out, and then get the
trap while he's working the set, going after the bait.
Okay, so what kind of bait do you use?
So for groundhog, you won't use a bait.
You'll kind of just wait for their weight to hit it?
Well, I mean, if you loot now, I don't, and in my younger, when I was a kid, I'd
use a lake hole trap.
But if I'm at a customer's house, can't really use a foothold trap in somebody's
front yard.
I have a, we use a good cage, as I use a Comstock cage, a double door cage, and
I'll set it, bed it, set it in front of the hole,
and make a deposit to where when the groundhog comes out, he has to go in that
trap.
He has no option but to go in there to get outside.
So that way I can say I catch three groundhogs, and we don't catch anything for
a week.
I can say there's no more groundhogs in that hole, and then we can seal the
hole up, and we're done.
So this trap right here, this is a single door trap, you said?
Yes, sir.
It's double door, single door, but Comstock, it's one of my favorite traps, one
of the most popular traps with the nuisance wildlife operators.
So that's just pretty basic.
It looks like it has kind of this, like almost a teeter-totter door where once
you go through it, it just closes back, and you can't get out.
Yeah, it's a spring-loaded door on it, and it's got the triggers in the middle