Name: Heather McMahan | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #333
Uploaded: 2021-04-02T13:04:42.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Heather McMahan | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #333' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-04-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Heather McMahan | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #333' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-04-02. Transcript available.

Heather McMahan | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #333

today's guest is uh is a is a real dominant and uh and hilarious and just dang
near adorable
female that's right female baby you know what i'm talking about boobies uvula
baby all of it
and uh she is from atlanta and um and uh i'm just so happy to finally be able
to sit down with her
uh ladies and gentlemen the one and only heather mcmahon
shine that light on me
i'll sit and tell you my stories
shine on me
and i will find a song i'll be singing just
she likes a hard seat it's fine she's got a crippling sciatica so it's fine
oh yeah a lot of my friend has an australian shepherd and it has dysplasia
oh fuck yeah yeah most of them do i think yeah i got a frenchie and they have
every fucking problem
do they yeah i i like needed that expensive fucked up dog yeah that's where we're
at you know a lot of i
think frenchies let me think frenchies australian shepherds i don't want to say
a lot of foreign
dogs but but it is what it is they can't handle a lot of you know they can't
handle that american pressure
that's really i think the facts is once you get you know even you get those shih
tzus and they got
them all peeled up i don't fuck with the shih tzu yeah do not fuck with the shih
tzu and let me
tell you this i tried to do the right thing i went to like eight different
french bulldog rescues i was
like i want one spina bifida one in a wheelchair yeah one leg no leg no nose
one of those brothers
treasure yeah yeah exactly and i got denied all the fucking time because i was
living in new york and
they're like oh your apartment's not big enough i actually had a very nice
apartment for new york
and so we kept getting denied and so my husband was like fuck this he's like
after we got denied like
the seventh time he's like we would be perfect parents we were like let's get
the most expensive
pure bread we were just like let's get find the breeder who's got like just
wears gold all the time
and that's the way we went poli i want one fresh out of napoleon's nutsack that's
how exactly
i want this thing to be man yeah yeah i think it's tough i've been thinking
about trying to get a dog
and so i've been thinking about like what kind of get like i think about yeah
how pure can they get
how pure can the breeding get yeah you know what i'm saying i want that i want
that thing afraid
to show up to war that's how french i want it yeah yeah i'm saying like i want
it pure but you also
wanted a little slutty though too oh really yeah yeah yeah you do oh yeah yeah
i guess i could see maybe
i don't know if they had a lot of slutty dogs boss growing up i'm trying to
think of the dogs that i
would see when i was young well we used to bet like if a dog was giving birth
people would go
out and bet on it and bet how many babies it was going to have this is so louisiana
so if the dog
was whelping they call it whelping i think um then they would people be out
there throwing a little bit
of money down oh hell yeah you know and trying to win a little or just trying
to you know just i guess
maybe just also just feel what it's like to be victorious maybe not even it
might not even have been
about the money i mean you know i i feel like degenerate gambling is the thing
like my husband
gambles a little bit does he really and i don't get it yeah it's fine but i don't
get it like i i
won't even put ten dollars on like a craps table like i just i'm like no that i
know how hard and how
long it took to make those 10 and i'm like making a little money now but i'm
still just like there's
no way i'm gambling now do you give your husband a little bit of an of an
allowance or does he have his
own uh does he have his own no he has his own but his job yeah yeah he has a
job yes i do not know
oh yeah that's fine no he has a job well actually technically right now he's uh
he's i call him the
house manager so he gave up his career in new york we were living there we
moved back to atlanta
and i'm like listen until you build your real estate here like i need you to be
the house manager
because we're redoing some oh y'all are yeah we are yeah we're in like yeah um
okay so i'm sitting
here with heather mcmahon thanks for coming in i know we've been trying to get
to see each other
for a long time i know and uh yeah i had so many people that were like can i
come over if heather's
going to be there oh yeah more women i'll tell you this i had more women offer
to come over
in the past five days since people knew you were going to be here than if ever
wanted to come and
spend time with me those are my hoes i love them shout out to all the girls out
there yeah i didn't
get a good look at them but i some of them seem like hoes over tech and you
know it's you know that's
a good thing yeah it's like if you you present yourself a little slutty and you
just you know
you're honest and transparent about it like you do you yeah you know the ball's
in your court i'm
here for it yeah i like that i um so you started out doing comedy in atlanta um
or you didn't start
out doing comedy so you're like uh you're kind of one of these hybrid people
kind of and i'm not judging
i'm just trying to say stuff and think at the same time right right no no i
hear you um so you're like
one of these hybrid kind of artists like tell take me into it a little bit what
is it well so the
first time i ever did stand up it was actually at my high school prom so i went
to this like really
conservative christian school and they always had like a we couldn't even call
it prom we had to
call it like the junior senior senior banquet just because it's like up right
and so they wanted like
a surprise guest and so i said they they approached me i don't know why because
it was like highly
inappropriate the set i did and so the first time i did stand up was at this
prom and i was roasting the
senior class and i was like if i can get up in front of these peers that are
like the most
judgmental people on the planet yeah and i just came alive i was like this is
what i want to do
forever and i was always a theater nerd and was doing all that so i went to old
miss got a theater
degree then went to new york and was doing kind of improv sketch like i really
was on the snl
trajectory i was like that's what i want to do i love a wig i love a costume
yeah you know that's
just where i thrive that's where i'm become come alive yeah um and i was out in
l.a doing ucb was kind of
doing that underground scene and and then you're really hustling it oh i was
hustling raw dogging
it whatever you had to do i was doing it were you using sex to try to get
forward you know what i i
offered and no one no one picked up on it they were like we're good we're good
yeah yeah yeah yeah
like if i could strip i would but i have eczema so i feel like i would take off
my clothes and they'd be
like we're good here's ten dollars like put your pants back on it's real rashy
you know lotion night yeah
they should have lotion night at the strip club for people with eczema when
does that start when
do we start getting strip nights for when does the like cancel culture like
when does that like
the diversity forced diversity culture hit the strip clubs when do we see like
the girl doesn't even
climb up the pole it's like one of those like things at the uh hampton inn like
swim pool that just
lifts you out of the water but it's like that for the strip club yeah it just
takes her up the pole
slowly and then just bring her slowly back down maybe that's a charity we start
that's our philanthropy
i like that yeah yeah limp completely just limp strippers so i have a uh family
member semi-family
member who has been an exotic dancer oh yeah and in our town they had a um
strip club called kneels
that's what it was right and uh and i don't know if it was supposed to be a
strip club but enough people
were naked and they were eventually you know what i'm saying you could see some
titty i hear you so
but the ceiling was low in there so the women would get on stage and they'd
have to duck
and strip so it was very like kind of occupational hazard i mean i would say
yeah this is before they
had that yeah yeah okay this is just like yeah it was really like uh it had a
lot of you know it was
like the scoliosis it was like in the scoliosis belt right so there was a lot
of yeah but the women
would have to get up there and so they'd have to strip so it always had this
very like it looked like
the women were sneaking around you know what i'm saying because they had to
always bent over a little
bit with like a titty hanging out yeah yeah yeah those are my girls so they had
to get into that um
i mean i'm from atlanta where like stripping is an art form and i mean you go
to places like magic city
and there's like 15 girls on a pole like a jinga set i mean it's insane and
then you go to places
like the claremont lounge which is a very famous club in atlanta yeah we're
like you know the women
are in their 70s crushing beer cans with their titties i mean it's just like
that's the the spectrum
uh and so it and then there's my favorite trip club though swinging richards
which is mostly men and
you just walk in and literally it's just dudes doing the helicopter just
swinging their
dick around really hell yeah yeah oh i've seen that in germany at the park one
time oh yeah
it seems very german yeah yeah i think so the chopper the masculinity uh-huh i
remember somebody
took me to a gay club one time in baton rouge and i'd never been i didn't know
they had it right
right so we walk in and there's like men with no shirts on and just jeans and i
thought that the uh
air conditioner was broken i didn't know what it was i was like damn we're at a
bar and this
fucking air conditioners you know what i'm saying they should do something
because this seems crazy
they got a decent clientele for fucking having no ac right you know and then i
realized it was gay
men dude and they start and gay men get extremely aggressive i feel like oh
they seem like a straight
man is in the building because i have this feeling that a straight man like
guys want to try to get a
hot girl but for gay men the hot girl is a straight man i hear you well a lot
of the dancers at
swing and richards club in atlanta are straight dudes oh and they have a big
gay clientele but
a lot of them are straight dudes because you know i mean my sister's a criminal
defense attorney so
she's had a couple of clients and she's like no no no that's mark that's mark
he's at 70 wise
but like he's a good guy and he's also like hits on me all the time so yeah
interesting yeah so so so
so then you were in new york and then you guys decided to move to atlanta now
did you kind of take a
were you like saying i'm gonna take a sabbatical from kind of the uh because if
you're if you were
doing like second city and stuff like that were you like i'm gonna like step
away from that were
you starting to do your own thing well i went to new york and then i went out
to la for four or five
years and i was out there and i was like i'm doing the commercials and all that
and i never i didn't
take the traditional route like i was more ucb and and really like honing that
craft if you will
as obnoxious as that sounds so i wasn't in the store i wasn't doing you know um
the traditional stand-up
route and then i kind of had this like oh aha life moment where my dad passed
recently of cancer
so i had to pick up my life and move back home to atlanta this is in 2016. so i
picked back up i'm
like i'm just gonna go for like six months i'm gonna help my mom figure out
what's next all this
shit and it was crazy i kind of started living my life through instagram and
just really blowing up
instagram and using it honestly cathartically just to like get off my chest and
dry out new material
and it just blew up and so then i was able to like work in atlanta a little bit
and then i was like
this is insane i you know i don't know it was a weird blessing like it was the
darkest time of my
life but it was so cool to like be able to get an audience from