Name: Ari Shaffir | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #359
Uploaded: 2021-09-14T13:00:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ari Shaffir | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #359' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ari Shaffir | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #359' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-14. Transcript available.

Ari Shaffir | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #359

Today's episode is brought to you by that thirsty funeral, baby, liquid death.
You can go to Theovan.com slash tour and grab tickets.
There's still some tickets available for Chattanooga, Knoxville, Durham,
as well, I believe, as Buffalo, New York.
We might be adding dates, Return of the Rat Tour.
And thank you guys so much.
I'm excited to see you soon.
Today's guest is a survivor of cancel culture.
He's a, he pushes the line.
Or does he?
Should anybody have to push the line?
Should there be a line?
We're going to talk about a lot of things.
This man let me stay at his apartment one time
when I was dealing with a little bit of addictory behavior.
He's long been a fixture in the stand-up comedy community.
He's the host of Skeptic Tank.
Today's guest is Ari Shafir.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
I'm going to talk about a lot of things.
That's true.
You've always been kind of that brave in that space to kind of manage your own
time differently.
I feel like that's one thing I've always admired about you is that you always
manage your time in a way where it's not like you're not as succumbed to
whatever that little.
It's almost like watching a fuse on a dynamite being in LA.
It's like you don't really know what you're waiting for, but you're milling
around.
You feel like you're just in this eternal lobby.
Yeah, somebody told me like the war on drugs and the war on terror are both
weird ones because like you'll never win it.
You're never going to get a surrender from drugs.
Yeah.
You know, I will stop, you know, save a terror.
There might just be like one guy out there, but he's like still like so it's
never over.
Same thing with like trying to get fame or whatever the fuck you're chasing in
LA.
It's like it's never done.
Yeah, you're never at the top.
Yeah, you're never at the top.
Even as you meet celebrities, you realize there are higher up people you admire.
They're as scared as anybody.
Dude, I've seen like high level like comedians and actors like taking those
like needy pictures with other celebrities.
Yeah.
Like look at it.
I'm like you're still climbing.
Yeah.
You're not at ease.
Yeah.
Fuck.
Yeah, definitely.
It's a and I think a lot of that being more exposed kind of these days.
I think people see it more and it's I think the younger generation.
They could do their cameras.
Oh, I mean, they have it with them.
But I've always really I think been envious of the guys that live in New York
or guys that are able to just take a break and like, all right, I'm going to do
this for four months.
I'm going to be here, you know.
You know, but being here with some things that it's been like it's given me
will have a chance to have a home for the first time.
So I have a house.
So that's kind of it's a little interesting.
Yeah.
Big Jay was talking about that.
I was like, can I just look like a human?
Yeah.
You're right.
Yeah.
Not New York.
Not it.
Yeah.
New York.
Yeah.
I don't know if you ever can.
Yeah.
I asked the crowd of zanies.
I was telling some joke about somebody banging with a broom handle on my floor.
The downstairs neighbors.
Oh, yeah.
You guys live in apartments and like two people clapped.
I'm like, oh, that's right.
You guys are humans here.
You don't live like fucking rats for way too expensive just for the close the
proximity to Broadway.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know what I think about one thing.
It's like, what are some things that's interesting?
About living here.
You get into more conversation.
Like the guy.
Sorry.
We need to get a table on the other side.
We got not.
We can't get it.
No, it's all right.
I'm joking around.
Oh, you are.
I got to go with this hand.
Yeah.
Oh, it's funny because every time we have a guest, I'll watch them literally
have to drink
like this.
They don't know how to do this.
So we got to get that table.
Yeah.
We'll just.
Yeah.
We don't have two tables.
It's erroneous.
It is.
You built up this whole studio.
You would think the second table would not be the thing holding you back.
Unbelievable.
Unbelievable.
But that's Sean.
You know, Sean is our producer and he does a lot.
He's a slacker.
He's table light.
Yeah.
He's table light, but he's everything else heavy.
And he looks like George Washington.
Look at him.
Let me see.
Yeah.
A little bit.
Young George Washington.
Remember when they said George Washington could not tell a lie?
Yeah.
I did when I was little.
He had autism.
That's all that means.
I feel like.
Yeah.
Maybe.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's like a autistic thunder.
Yeah.
He's like that guy Josh at the comments.
Remember you're like, am I funny?
And he's like, not that funny.
I cannot tell a lie.
Your shirt's wrong.
I always say it too.
It always be so loud.
That chick is hot.
Like, dude, she's the here.
Yeah.
And she's like, and she just got a sex change, bro.
Let's let's.
She appreciates it.
Bail off the pronouns.
Yeah.
Um, so yeah, I'm just, I'm trying to really rack my brain.
Like what is some things that I think about?
Uh, one thing that's hard here, but it's really hard is getting stage time.
So like, it's almost like if I really want to practice some comedy, I have to
go back
to LA for a couple of weeks and really set up a lot of shows.
There's just not a lot of time here.
Your problem too is like, you're getting famous now.
So like, you know, I'm sure it's harder to come by honest workouts.
Yeah.
The shows here feel like it's a, it does feel like it's a road show kind of
sometimes.
Um, I stopped into a fucking red band show in Austin.
Yeah.
What was that like?
It was great, but I'm like, this isn't, this is not going to ever be a workout.
They're already converted.
Right.
It feels like a, like a who's who room.
Yeah.
Oh, I bet down there.
I just stand, you might get some people who like recognize you, but most people
would
like next.
Right.
You know?
Yeah.
LA and LA still feels like that too.
Even when I'm there, it's like a nothing.
Everybody just feels like you're working out comedy.
Yeah.
That's good.
Yeah.
I think that's a good thing.
I think that's a good thing.
I think that's a good thing.
I think that's a good thing.
I think that's a good thing.
I think that's a good thing.
I think that's a good thing.
I think that's a good thing.
I think that's a good thing.
I think that's a good thing.
I think that's a good thing.
I think that's a good thing.
I think that's a good thing.
I think that's a good thing.
I think that's a good thing.
I think that's a good thing.
I think that's a good thing.
I think that's a good thing.
I think that's a good thing.
I think that's a good thing.
I think that's a good thing.
I think that's a good thing.
Hey, throw on Asher Roth.
I love college.
Yeah.
He's like, all right, grandpa.
I'm like, wait, what?
That was after my time.
Yeah, it's hard.
I hate to make references.
I had I took a girl on a date one night
and I showed her my music app
and it was Apple music.
She was use.
She's like use iMusic.
Like you don't even have Spotify
and literally every part of me
that had any confidence
fucking jumped in front of my view.
Damn.
Damn.
Like, well, yeah, I'm older than you.
Yeah.
What do you mean?
Why are you even here with me?
Yeah, that's true.
You're into it.
Fucking dumb bitch.
Don't act like you're better than this.
What's been going on, man?
So you've been you've been.
I see you got that.
You got a new tour going right now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I saw that post the other day.
The one you did, the Brody Stevens,
the swingers tour, whatever.
That was a tough one.
Oh, I put it out to the audience.
I was like, I made my tour.
And then some of them.
I'm like, God, damn, you guys.
Fuck you.
But if it's funny, I'll like I'll post it.
I'll, you know, got honor the comedy.
But do you feel like you have more of like a carte blanche?
Like a like I was watching Louie special where he's like.
Cats.
Louie.
CK.
Sorry.
Yeah.
Louis CK.
Yeah.
Louis CK.
So the one online, the one that's on the Internet.
And he was talking about.
Oh, how once everybody knows what your sexual perversions are, you're kind of
free in a way.
Like like he felt so in a weird way.
He felt so free now because he could kind of, you know, like his like his
moment, like the
world had seen his butthole, his proverbial butthole.
Right.
So you don't have to pretend like he's a gentleman.
Right.
Yeah.
Right.
His nomenclatures or whatever were had, you know, were disappeared.
He could just be the asshole he is if he wants to be.
Do you feel like any like, do you feel any like, do you feel like you have like,
what
does any of that feel like?
Like if you, do you feel like you need to put out something edgy now?
Or do you feel like you can just.
Yeah.
Some people are like, oh, you're just edgy.
But I'm like, no, no, some of it's edgy.
I do puns also.
Yeah.
I'll do some clean jokes.
I like to mix it up, you know, but then the edginess isn't going to make them
walk out
on me.
Right.
Because they're already like, they're there for it too.
Yeah.
You know, anyone who's at a club at a downstairs basement club or dingy, it's
like they're
degenerates.
They're drug addicts and fucking sexual perverts.
Yeah.
They're not going to be fucking, oh, this is too far.
Yeah.
And if they are like, sorry, man, you weren't supposed to be here.
Come back next week.
Yeah.
That's a good point.
Yeah.
There's always this hypothetical creature that I'm performing to.
That's not even really in my audience.
Yeah.
But you're so worried that they're going to be turned off.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
I would hold you back.
The guy who's not there.
Remember when like, you remember the old store when there were like 10 people
in the audience
at like 9:30.
Oh yeah.
It was still like no show really.
Tommy was doing music and doing, yeah, writing sheet music.
I remember walking up one night, he