Name: Mark Normand | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #361
Uploaded: 2021-10-08T23:13:57.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Mark Normand | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #361' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Mark Normand | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #361' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-08. Transcript available.

Mark Normand | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #361

I want to start this episode off by just saying thank you for uh supporting me
and um and just
to announce that the Netflix airing will be on October 19th so you can check
that out on Netflix
it'll be there soon I appreciate your love and support I appreciate anybody
that supported me
in my comedy career and um and I'm grateful for you guys to see this it's been
a lot of hard work
and a lot of you guys have come out over the years and watched me work it and
so here we are that's
October 19th on Netflix get that hitter I want to thank liquid death for being
a part of my life
oh the irony I'm going to let everybody know that um tickets are going on sale
now for a show in
Coachella California that's right that's where it is you've heard it's a music
town
Coachella California at Spotlight 29 Casino and that's uh Saturday December 4th
2021
um and those tickets available theovan.com slash tour as well we got dates in
Wilkes-Beyer PA
Minneapolis Minnesota Charleston Baltimore Burlington Vermint Albany and
Buffalo New York's
those are all available theovan.com slash tour um we have other places as well
but those are the places
that still have tickets available the new out of gas tees collection they got
new items on there
theovan.com slash store check it out if you'd like to see that if you've run
out of gas a lot like me
then you might want to have something to wear while you're out there waiting
for the triple a or for the gas
today's guest um he's changing the game up himself other people have claimed to
do it but I really see
it with this man uh he's a real humorous man and he's probably one of the I
mean he's just he's just
one of a kind really and he really is that and uh he's got a special out to
lunch that's available on
youtube's and he's got uh his podcast tuesday with stories that he co-hosts
with mr joe list um i'm happy
to have him here today in our central east studio mr mark normand
for me to set that parking break and let myself unwind shine that light on me
i'll sit and tell you my stories
shine on me
and i will find a song i'll be singing just
dude well thank you for uh coming in bro good to see you man of course of
course good of course good
to be here i um i was just over at um mark norman ladies and gentlemen are we
on we're cooking oh boy
all right cut that last thing out i was just at the dang uh i was over at uh walgreen
you got walgreen
over there in new york city oh yeah we got a cbs walgreen rite aid you name it
and they had i was
in line and they're like make sure to tag us on your social medias and it
literally just blew my brain
out of my freaking wiener man because it was like who is gonna like you know
got my cancer meds or whatever
you know like yeah now having fun in the parking lot cbs it just seemed it's
just crazy how everything
is like hashtag like just like it's all connected it's all weird it's sometimes
though you gotta you
gotta admit those guys are funny on twitter like wendy's will go off on some
guy oh yeah yeah if
wendy's and arby's go off dog i'm there for that oh yeah because you know there's
just some fat guy
behind a desk and he's like ah screw it i'm gonna be myself just with the face
of wendy's yeah man
wendy's used to be so good oh square burger baby dave thomas chili remember i
loved when it was chili
was their thing that was their thing that was their thing and you get the baked
potato you pour the chili
on it then some girl was like what where'd you learn that then she'd blow you
it was it was a great time
yeah and your family was doing great it's like we're here yes it felt like you
know you go to rallies or
mcdonald's it felt a little low brow but wendy's felt a little upscale you kind
of jumped out the car
yeah like dad is a good guy oh you know like you'd have all these crazy vibes
yeah i mean he still hit
me but uh you know i was at the salad bar so felt classier dude i remember two
pizza hut salad bars
used to have that pudding on them oh the chocolate pudding yeah that was big
can't believe they did
it that's after little league games it was all pizza hut all day oh it was so
good man i remember
getting a personal pan you're like jesus christ yeah my own personal pan yeah
pretty good who read two
books you know remember that yeah remember the book club man we were smart we'd
be in there
we were like a real coupon family oh me too my mom was at crazy coos with the
uh with the clippings at
the end and she's like hold on i got one you're like come on you you crazy whore
we gotta get we
gotta get out of here we gotta i got a blockbuster i'm ready to yeah no wonder
dad's gone yeah i couldn't
wait around either because you got to save six cents on uh you know some ice
cream sandwiches yeah
do you think like people's the that patience has changed like oh yeah isn't it
it's almost it's
almost it's almost crazy how much it's changed it's embarrassing like i'll be
at a red light
and i'm like i better look at my phone right i can't make it the eight seconds
before i cross the
street i'm like well i got down time might as well tweet something yeah yeah
but it's like who's
running this red light is this like you know it's almost like you're almost
like this red light
needs to get its shit together kind of it feels like like it um or just like
why you know every
little bit of everything feels like things didn't used to feel like wasted time
it used to feel like
nice yeah to have some moments i think that's true or you just didn't think of
it as wasted time i'm
just trying to walk through it it was life it was just oh yes i'm doing life i'm
outside i'm living
yeah and now it's like wait i could be doing something this could be a tick tock
oh the white guy's
flashing now the hand that could be a thing yeah i'll put music to it like what
am i doing
we're not living and instagram went down a couple days ago and there was a part
of me like i hope it
doesn't come back yeah it yeah you remember that in louisiana i know growing up
a lot of storms come
through there dude a lot of storms a lot of people you know missing teeth a lot
of people missing dna
remember they had they had one guy there they found he didn't have any dna in
his body this was like
14 years ago what i missed that guy they could they couldn't genome sequence
him or something
yeah hopefully he's not a serial killer because he'll get away with it oh look
if you if god gives
you that gift bro you better buy a hatchet yeah no doubt about it um but i
remember when the power
would go out at our house dude we would get into it was like the only time our
family was kind of close
yeah same with the scrabble the candles came out you had to talk to your
brother yeah that was weird
god it was so weird it was so yeah but i love there's almost something kind of
cool about it like
it was a your family became a little bit of a necessity because you were scared
kind of yes you didn't know
like if the second anybody left the candle it was like what happened you know
true we had to be amish
for a minute yeah and it makes you maybe the amish are tight yeah i bet the amish
are pretty tight
i saw some amish at the airport uh what yeah not allowed in there i think there's
a can amish fly
will you look that up spencer do you mind i they i think some of them can fly i
don't know if they uh
you might have to be a high school graduate oh i'm not sure what their sense
like what the
jurisdiction is on being able to fly or not yeah i mean it's all electric so
the amish are not
permitted i'd imagine they can't you zoom in on that a little if you can i
think they're all banging
each other by the way wow so they don't need to fly that's hearsay uh that's
what i've i've been
reading in the uh the amish newsletter we use trusted english neighbors are not
permitted travel
airplane oh well these guys must have been they're rule breakers you know there
was a um i remember
that show breaking amish right yes and there was one of the guys he's like
cutting the grass with that
little with the just the spinning knife yeah i remember we had one of those and
they interview him
and he's like man i got i was adopted i'm not even supposed to be almost dog it
was like oh my god
i never saw that one god tlc is just a misery channel it's like my 600 pound
life i'm a midget
i'm an amish i'm getting surgery it's a bummer over there yeah i wonder why
they they really tapped
into that market i guess i don't have any legs someone else has my legs yeah
you seen that show
it's like somebody took yeah they said they uh it's like people harvesting
organs or something
wow um yeah it's really out on a limb yeah all right how's uh how's comedy in
new york right now
what's it like are you in the city i am i live in manhattan and uh the clubs
are great it's all open
you got to show the vax card to get in but uh i'll i'll say this that what isn't
the same when i moved
to new york there was all these hot bar shows and alternative shows and those
are all gone really
i don't think comics get along anymore you know comedy's so splintered now you
know you got this
group you got that group and everything's politicized and what side are you on
and all that
shit and you know there's like these teams now and it's it's not good like when
you say team like it
is it so it's like does it feel political does it feel like or just like if you're
not woke enough
does it feel i'm just trying to yeah a little everything a little all that and
you got to fall
into your tribe a little bit now i mean the whole country's going this way so i
don't know people were
different before we all had our differences but like everybody got along you
made it work there was no
internet as much i mean there was but it wasn't like everything because people
let all their
bullshit out online and then you don't you don't see people face to face as
much and i think people
are just separating more yeah yeah i think i started feeling recently like you
know especially during
like a lot of the i guess election stuff and then especially during like b when
blm really went off oh
yeah because i used to feel like we're all on the same team we're all trying to
do our best and
everybody you know this is what we're doing this is like america and it's just
like how we're you know
we're trying our best yeah and then i felt like everything felt like um some
some of the blm stuff to
me almost felt like a like supremacy like it wasn't like about everybody
anymore like it wasn't and it
wasn't even just about black people it was just like people wanted to exercise
like uh victimhood
maybe some victimhood but it was just like i don't know everything started
really fragmenting
then like yeah for me i thought oh we're all on the same team and then it was
now like oh well just
it's just about these this group and this group and right and for me i think
maybe for some people it
had never been that black lives mattered or that but for me i think it always
had been so to me
i was just like well i if and in some points and this is just me as a white
person right yeah it
almost felt like um not an attack on me but it felt like it didn't feel like
there was a safe place
for you to go if you were somebody who's like well i've always right right
respected everybody like
why do i have to behave any why do i have to like show a certain be a certain
way now or something i
get what you're saying yeah it i've never we grew up in louisiana you know it
was just
it was mixed everywhere was mixed and i never even never came across my mind
that black people didn't
matter right so when everybody's like they matter you're like yeah i know and
then they get mad at
you for not doing a bunch of you're like but i've been a good guy the whole
time yeah that was the
thing there was no card to show that you've been a good guy and there was
nobody that seemed like they
wanted to believe that you've been a good guy the whole time yes yes i think
that's a it's a human
nature thing they get to yell at you so they feel better rig