Name: Marlon "Chito" Vera | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #377
Uploaded: 2022-01-24T09:28:55.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Marlon "Chito" Vera | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #377' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-01-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Marlon "Chito" Vera | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #377' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-01-24. Transcript available.

Marlon "Chito" Vera | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #377

I want to let you know, though, I got some new tour dates that you can check
out, and
I'm grateful for them.
February 2nd, I'll be in Jacksonville, Florida.
The 3rd, St. Petersburg.
The 5th, I'll be in Orlando.
The 24th, I'll be in Lafayette, Indiana.
The 25th, Rockford, Illinois, home of the Rockford Peaches.
And that's America's team right there, female ball.
February 26th, Chicago, Illinois.
May 6th in Tulsa, May 7th in Los Angeles.
Today's guest is a wonderful man, and he is the number 8-ranked UFC bantamweight
fighter.
He's a fighting man and a family man.
He's a lot of types of man.
And he is the pride of Ecuador, the country of Ecuador.
And of America as well.
I'm very grateful for his time today.
It is Mr. Marlon Cheeto Vera.
For me to set that parking brake and let myself unwind, shine that light on me,
I'll sit and tell you my stories, shine on me, and I will find a song I will
sing it just for me.
Dude, thanks for coming in, man.
Thank you for having me, brother.
Yeah, bro.
You're so exciting, man.
I feel like you're like one of the most exciting guys to be like.
Whenever I watch you, I almost feel like I need to go for a run or something
because I feel like my energy gets up, you know?
I got pretty high energy.
When I get to the catch for me, it's not about just winning the fight.
I'm a performer, you know?
It's like a movie for me.
I want to go in there and not just make it like, yeah, like you got in there
and did enough to win.
I want to take your head off.
Clean.
I don't want, and I train so hard for that.
I don't train for like, just get away with it.
I train to like, clean cut.
Damn, boy.
Damn, you want to take them down, huh?
Like a lumberjack.
I train, that's all I do, you know what I'm saying?
Like, I feel like most fighters sometimes, they think they should work when
they call them to fight.
I train year round.
That's my job.
I don't have a second job.
I used to have a second job when I didn't make money, but now that this is my
life, this is everything I do for a living, it's year round.
Like, I train Monday through Monday.
There's no seasons because we don't have a season in the UFC.
Like, tomorrow they can tell me like, hey, from five to number four, everybody's
in your, or everybody's booked.
I can fight for the bell next.
I don't know what's going to happen.
Like, somebody can get COVID, somebody can get hurt, and they call the guy that
is below.
Next.
Yeah, you got to be ready.
For me, it's like, just being ready.
Like, my only job is to fight.
Well, I'm ready to fight at any moment.
Wow.
Do, you said you had another job at one point.
What was that other job you had?
Dude, it was some fucking awful job.
It was, it was like, like, kind of like work for the city hall.
It was like a government, governmental stuff.
Yeah.
Like chasing, was it like animal catching or something?
I wish, dude, that would be nice.
My shit was like sitting on a boot, and it was like a window, and everybody
brings papers, like legal stuff.
Like a bunch of lawyers coming in, and now people that put a, I don't know, let's
see, you stole my card.
You bring the paper saying that the cop report.
And my job was to take the paper and put it in a specific folders, like crime,
I don't know, a small, smaller thing.
Crime, small crime, mystery, stuff like that.
Whatever.
From, from, from something huge to something small.
And my job was just to like grab a paper and put it in a folder.
And these people was like, hey, it's been the third time.
What the fuck?
Like, it's your phone.
Like, bitch, I could pay like $300 a month.
Like, my job is to grab the paper and put it in here.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, if you have an issue, go inside and go talk to, I don't know, to where
the fuck lost here.
Yeah, somebody.
I'm nobody here.
And.
Wow.
My job was the shitiest job.
I swear to God, I would rather clean the floors than do that.
Because every day somebody was mad because their, their, their stuff wasn't
being processed.
And they would tell me to fuck off or fuck you.
You don't do your own.
I'm like, I'm just a paper guy.
I just grab papers and put it on.
And one, and one day I snap and I just.
You did snap.
I.
And what happened on a man or woman?
The, a guy.
I would never snap on a, on a lady.
Well, most of them I wouldn't, but once in a while, maybe.
I'm a lover.
Yeah.
I'm like, with the ladies, all respect, you know, I can, my, my dad teach me
good manners,
but yeah, this guy was like treating me like a piece of shit.
And yeah, I guess he was like a, like, like a big time lawyer or whatever.
And I just, when he dropped, he just throw the papers.
And when he was leaving, I was just like, fuck you asshole.
And he walked around, but he didn't know I was a fighter.
Yeah.
I was, I was a guy trying to be in the UFC one day.
And he came around like, what do you say?
And I was like, I was just like, dude, you know, it's not, this is not your day.
Trust me.
Yeah.
And then he just walk away basically saying, I will kick your ass.
He wouldn't do shit.
But then that guy was probably friends with somebody high in the, it's not a
company.
It's a, um, it's a building.
In a building.
Oh, fancy people, like rich people.
Yeah.
I guess.
And then I get kicked out in that moment.
You got kicked out, but you didn't hit the guy.
No, I, I wish I hit it because I was getting kicked out anyway.
So I was like, but when they, when, when, when they kicked me, I was like,
thank God.
So I just, you know, I just keep training.
Oh, you were free.
I was free, but there was no money.
Right.
So I have to go back to my dad.
I basically, Hey, I need some help.
Like help me.
And then my dad was like, okay, I'm going to help you.
This is the last year I helped you.
I was like 19, but I was already married.
I already have a daughter.
So I was like, Hey, this is the last year.
I'm going to help you to, to get your fantasy UFC, whatever your dream.
When this December you're done with me and then either you work for me, like no
training,
just work for me, or you find whatever to do with your life.
And literally my dad put me a day, like this December you're done with me.
And the UFC call me in November.
It was, it was just meant to be.
It's life.
When you do so much for something, you will fucking get it no matter what.
Yeah.
One of my friends used to say, if he used to ask me, he said, have you ever
worked really
hard for something and not gotten it?
And the answer was no.
Like if it's something I really, really work for, you always get it.
It's impossible to, if you don't get something, if things, if things don't go
right in life
is because either you're not doing enough or you're doing it wrong.
There's no way you don't get there.
If you put everything together, there will be obstacles.
There will be bad days.
There will be a setbacks, but if you keep on going and you really want to make
it happen,
it's just impossible not to happen.
Facts.
Wow.
That's powerful, man.
It is.
Well, especially coming from a guy like you, who's, who, who's put that to the
test in his
own life.
You know, you've burned that candle and lit up your own future with, uh, with
it.
You know, um, I heard you say on, uh, on Joe Rogan's that, um, there were times
where
you fought where you didn't even want them to pay you.
Yes.
Because you just wanted to get your name out there.
A hundred percent.
Was, is one of the, like, why do you think you fight?
Like, I think some people fight for different reasons.
This is just me.
You know, some people fight.
They want to be seen.
Some people, they need to win.
Some people need to prove something.
Like, do you, do you know what it is inside of you that makes you?
Yeah.
I, I love crazy shit.
Like, uh, when I was a little kid, uh, like, for example, let me start with
this in, in my
family, I will call them the normal people.
Like my dad have a farm.
He worked the farm.
He figured out how to make money, but regular guy, he will work in anywhere to
provide for
the family.
Right.
I saw that as a kid.
My mom, she, she stay at home, make sure the house is clean and nice.
Make sure the kids, me and my two, my brother and my sister, we're good.
Like, you're just a normal family.
Just a good mother.
Sister and brother, graduate, we're in college, have normal jobs, you know, and,
but when I
was a kid, I was just trying to find my dad guns and play with them or just
jumping
from breaking my arm.
I was just looking for, to do crazy shit.
And when I was a little kid, I was a huge fan of like Rambo or Chuck Norris.
And I was like, I want to be like a Navy SEAL.
I want to be like a real badass, but no offense to my country.
You go to the military network, you're fucked.
Really?
We don't even have guns out there.
Like we have, but.
What, they have more swords?
It may be.
Yeah, maybe a couple machetes.
Yeah.
Like, you know, we don't have the Navy SEALs like in here.
Like in here you got like every single division and they're all like real
killers.
It's organized.
Or we have a small army.
It's just different.
It's a third world country.
So I, I was smart enough to be like, okay, if I really want to do this, not in
my country.
I love my country till then, but it's just not for me.
The military.
The military.
So I will, I will get in street fights all the time.
Like, you know, my cousins or my brother for fun will homeless kids like, Hey,
I give you a couple bucks and you fight my brother.
And for me, it was a game.
We would get like, it was an inspiring.
Did you lose sometimes?
Yeah.
I get my ass kicked a thousand times.
Did you ever fight any grown men or it was just children?
Um, most were my age, but you know, they live in the street.
They got more experience.
They got more everything.
I was like, I was a kid from, my mom would give him my, my, the foot in my
mouth.
Those kids have to hustle for real.
Yeah.
Those kids, they got a lot more like, uh, hoof to mouth syndrome, a lot of
disease and stuff.
They got, they got a lot.
They got a lot.
They got a lot.
And then I just like fighting.
Like, and when, when I get to see pride, the UFC and everything else, like,
well, that's going to be my, my life.
I'm going to become a fighter one day.
Yeah.
I heard you talking about that.
Like whenever you first saw it, you're like, Whoa, this is a real thing.
And then it just beckoned you.
But so do you think you fight because you just, you just like anarchy kind of,
do you like the insanity of it?
Do you?
I love, I love all that.
I love the process.
I love the, even yesterday when I was watching the fights life, I was like, I
was watching and I was like, this is fucking crazy.
Like, I'm an expectator to two fucking guys in a cage beating the shit out of
each other for money.
And of course, you know, somebody want to, people want to be famous.
People want to advance in life.
If you're going to, you want to meet the cool people you, you thought you will
never met, whatever.
It's insane.
It's like the gladiators.
It's like, it's a cold scene.
It really is.
Two guys fighting till death.
And then I'm pretty mean.
Like, I'm not, I'm not in there just to like, okay, I want to be famous.
I want to fuck you up.
Yeah.
Outside the cage, I will never get in the fight unless the limits are like
pushed too much.
But I'm not even thinking about it.
I'm training all the time.
Is there fights like, is there a fight that you've, that you've been in where
you didn't,
you still obviously wanted to, where you obviously wanted to win the fight, but
the respect level
was different against the guy you were fighting.
So it kind of, it maybe wasn't the same type of like, I'm going to kill this
guy as much
as I just want to win this match.
No, it's, I keep the same energy.
Like I fought guys like Aldo, Frank Edgar, like legends, you know, everybody
respect.
And for me, it doesn't matter if the guy talks shit, if the guy's a quiet guy,
if the guy
want to shake hands, I just keep it up.
And I'm very honest.
I'm not in there to shake hands and bow to each other.
I'm like, yeah, the c