Name: Neil deGrasse Tyson | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #420
Uploaded: 2022-11-29T16:00:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Neil deGrasse Tyson | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #420' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Neil deGrasse Tyson | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #420' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-29. Transcript available.

Neil deGrasse Tyson | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #420

some tour dates to announce if you want to come see the return of the rat tour
we'll be in louisville kentucky january 25th and 26th indianapolis indiana january
27th and 28th
shreveport louisiana february 1 and 2 baton rouge louisiana february 3 through
5. corpus
christie texas march 24 houston houston sorry texas march 25th phoenix arizona
april 26th through
29th new york city at the beacon theater may 13th and austin texas june 1st
through 3rd um some of
those dates are getting sold out some of those dates we will be adding new
shows to i know
specifically austin uh phoenix and possibly how uh houston you can get tickets
at theovon.com
t-o-u-r make sure to access tickets through there uh to get accurately priced
ticketing uh thank you
guys so much if you do come out to a show and you want to leave something for
us a gift or an item or
something you can always leave it with the merch people at the merch table uh
just so you know that
uh thank you guys so much for all your love and support um i'm excited to uh to
come and see you
you know it's hunting season it's hunting people are out there setting traps
snares put a taffy some
people put a damn taffy out there and they'll catch a pigeon on that bitch
people do all kind of thing
if you like to hunt then check out the hitter hunting club collection new merch
now available at
theovonstore.com we've got hoodies in orange and maroon we got a raccoon on one
of them because you
know my brother's out there killing raccoons out there out in um southern utah
he's out there uh
oh we're just really getting those little damn criminals they are we got camo
hats traditional
and orange we got it all elmer fudge yourself up elmer fudge your cousin man fudge
your cousin
bunch of cousin fudders get that hitter and more at theovonstore.com today's
guest is an
astrophysicist um he's an author he has a new book called starry messenger
cosmic perspectives on
civilization uh we're gonna chat a little bit about it and he's just that you
know he's that galactic
bad boy he's that um you know he's that uh outer space uh joe montana you know
he's going deep with
the facts baby you know what he is um he's science he's a science man he's a
mannequin for science
he likes the facts and he wears them and he wears them well we're happy to have
him here today mr neil
degrasse tyson
and i will find a song
i'll be singing
there's an old joke uh there's a guy his name is tex and people said why they
call you tex
are you from texas and he said no i'm from louisiana he said why they call you
tex
he said because i don't want anyone calling me louise
i could see that man it was just a cute something from the 1960s what old old
sort of old timer old
timey joke yeah that's one of one of my favorite jokes is uh they have this guy
chris de lee he's
a comedian and he has a joke it says um oh i saw the first 48 it's a tv show
where they have
48 hours to solve a crime but really they have as much time as they want
that's one of my favorite ones um and then this one's a little edgier but it's
um what's the last
thing you want to hear when you're giving a blow job to willie nelson
what i'm not willie nelson okay okay i've i heard that somewhere yeah it's not
my joke but it's my
favorite joke and you know the uh george carlin has a blow job joke he said uh
here's a sentence
that's never been uttered in the history of the world stop giving me a blowjob
or i'll call the police
that's true and ever since i heard that i said there are sentences in the world
that
just have never been uttered yeah in the history of the world well that's funny
because joe rogan
would he says that everything has been he says like everything has been done
like you no no no i'll
give an example okay okay we uh in new york 20 years ago we opened a new
facility to the universe
and we have models of planets and molecules and things that are dangling so you
get the size the
relative sizes of things i gave a tour of the facility to martha stewart wow
okay she's all that by the
way because as we walking around and there was like a display surface she's
like oh tidy up she
was taking the fingerprints off the off the off the she's probably taking her
fingerprints off she's
been guilty of some things so watch what happens so we're walking around and
and we have these orbs
and she says dr tyson you have dust on your molecules and i thought i said wow
that sentence
has never been spoken in the history of the universe that's right see i think
that's i agree with that
kind of stuff right right yeah one time i was on his show and the first thing
he said he's like
you know there's been another theo von there's been another in a like there's
just oh he wants the
multiverse to yeah to be another one of you oh we can go there we can go that's
what he goes into
but you actually in your uh in the new book do we begin yet we all up and
beginning i think we're
rolling we're rolling yeah yeah we're good let it go i love what you've done
with the place by
the way oh thank you nice we're just about to get a we're we're getting a new
studio so we're
we're getting close to the end of the time don't make it too impersonal i mean
make sure the studio is still intimate just feels intimate yeah yeah i agree it's
important right yeah
yeah otherwise what are you doing you know you're on stage you know and that's
not the point of a
podcast dude that's a great point because we've been looking at places and i'm
like i don't want
something that's too corporate or something no it doesn't feel right that ain't
right that ain't
right yeah it feels like boy you want and when you're on stage that's you be on
stage that's
different right yeah here we're chilling yeah yeah we're chilling you want it
to feel that way yeah
exactly that's a great point i'm glad you i'm really glad you said that because
i needed some
affirmation there uh-huh um but in your book in starry messengers so this is
your new book
right and thanks for for checking it out yeah yeah yeah definitely i tried to
check out as much as i
just as much as like um i had time to kind of uh here's what you do you're here
in la you're in la
okay you get the audio book and then when you're stuck in traffic you just
three days of traffic
get through the book just fine all right that's how they should market them how
many days of four
four or five traffic you know four days of traffic yeah um but one thing you
said about it was
individual that the end of their uh you you kind of almost did it a little bit
of an equation on the
individual it's kind of towards the later in the book you talked about it was
just like
that each person is unique and you kind of went oh you went straight there yeah
oh my gosh because
yeah that's the life and death chapter so there's so just tell me about that i
just want people to
hear how unique they are oh yeah okay so just the book is a cosmic perspectives
on civilization
and it's what the world looks like if you're scientifically literate and you
have a
and and you're thinking about earth from space and the world looks really
different not just the world
physically but people's interactions are different you have some strongly held
opinion and i say no you
don't you think you you think you've deeply thought this through right but you
haven't there's this
part of it and have you thought about this and have you thought about that i'm
not here to hand you an
opinion i just here want to make sure that whatever opinion you do have is
deeply is is
rationally formed that you that you've folded all the information together then
i walk away
and think however the hell you want i don't care yeah i think yeah it
definitely helps like adjust
maybe the scope of stuff like if you're looking at something from this angle
what about look at
it from this exactly or what about look at it from the inside or what about
look at it from the
history of its beginning like exactly and a quick one before i get to the the
uh the how unique we
are uh just a quick one you know i don't know if you you buy tuna uh now when
you buy tuna it's very
clear whether it's line caught tuna oh really line caught okay that's a big
selling point because when
it's not line caught it's net caught oh they do net when you know what happens
when they drag a net
occasionally they drag a dolphin oh yeah dolphins are air breathing so if they're
caught in a net they
suffocate and die oh okay you don't want that so you get line caught tuna and i'm
just thinking so for
people who just care about that i'm just i wonder what about the tuna who just
cares about the tuna
do you just not give a rat's ass about the tuna like what what what and it's
and and and then they
said well it kills the dolphin unnecessarily so so then i said well then make
dolphin burgers okay
you said you can't have that and i said well why not you go to the deli yeah
okay if a deli made
dolphin salad sandwiches they'd be picketing out front wouldn't there okay i'd
have a cut of it
okay look at your theo von yeah i'd love it we had owl one time at thanksgiving
oh oh thanksgiving oh man
okay so uh my point is if you if you go to a deli you and you there'd be picketers
out front if you're
serving yeah if you're slinging dolphin okay okay now watch but what else does
the deli serve they sell
dead chicken dead turkey dead salmon dead pig dead cow with with roast beef
dead vegetables
i'll get to that in a minute but they sell all kinds of dead animals in a
sandwich and this
is just another dead animal but somehow we culturally philosophically we we've
divided up the all the
kingdoms of life and we do carve outs yeah for what we want to protect and what
we don't and often that
carve out is arbitrary at some level yeah and just be self-aware of that are
you high and noble because
you're saving the dolphin but you're eating the tuna right i don't know that
you entirely are
say well a dolphin is a mammal well so are pigs and cows all right last i
checked yeah okay they're
just i think people they're not as graceful they don't they can't do as many
well someone
then admit that say i will not eat graceful animals right i'll only eat clumsy
animals that are ugly
so it's a it's an attempt to just make you more honest yeah with yourself about
the opinions you
carry there's another one uh let's say you're a vegetarian this is from the
chapter meat eaters
and vegetarians okay i go there because you know that'll that'll rile some
folks that's what i'm saying
that's what i'm saying each chapter is a is a point of conflict in civilization
i'm trying to illuminate
places where people could think differently or maybe not have to think that way
at all because in fact
what they felt were deep was deeply held argument really just evaporates in the
face of a cosmic
perspective so here's one you're a vegetarian because you just don't want to
kill animals okay you you don't
want to kill okay fine so in your basement you have a humane mouse trap okay oh
yeah i've seen
oh you've seen those yeah they some of them it's like a little it goes in there
and there's art on
the walls inside of it it's inside it's like a mouse condominium all right yeah
so they go and you
got to check them every few days water every few days because they'll they'll
dry out all right so
anyhow so you check it and then you and what do they do with the mouse once
they capture it let it
free let it free into the wall all right because they don't want to kill
animals all right i get that
but do you realize that a mouse in the wild lives between nine and 18 months
because it's highly likely to be swallowed whole by a owl or pecked apart by
all manner of woodland
predators okay carnivores and so so what you've done is doom you've doomed the
mouse to be eaten
prematurely in its life so the best thing you can do for the mouse is leave it
in your basement where
it will live sex up to six years of a full fat life in your basement but you're
not doing that no
because yeah so i guess it makes us feel some 