Name: Retired Police Officer | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #421
Uploaded: 2022-12-06T16:00:09.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Retired Police Officer | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #421' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-12-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Retired Police Officer | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #421' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-12-06. Transcript available.

Retired Police Officer | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #421

If you like hunting and you like capturing things and getting it and having
animal meat,
my brother cooks raccoon for me when I visit him, and God, I love him.
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We got hoodies in orange and maroon, camo hats, traditional and orange.
Go over there and get that Hitter and more at theovonstore.com.
I want to announce some new tour dates.
We're adding shows in Indianapolis, in Houston, in Phoenix, Arizona, and in New
York City, New York.
Those are new additional added shows.
They're available now.
You can go get them as well.
We have shows in Louisville, Shreveport, Baton Rouge, Corpus Christi, and
Austin, Texas.
So, you can go get a hold of all those, theovon.com slash T-O-U-R.
You can get tickets, get them through there, so you get fairly and accurately
priced tickets and not no secondary tickets.
Thank you, guys.
I look forward to seeing you return to the Rat Tour.
Hey, guys.
I want to thank you guys for tuning in.
I also want to just offer up the disclaimer that today's episode contains
material and stories and discussions that can be pretty graphic.
They contain violence.
They contain some gore.
They are real stories that this police officer went through.
And so, we want to leave them in to honor and get the experience of what their
life is like.
If you have a problem hearing that sort of thing, if graphic content, some of
it can be sexual in nature, some of it just contains some violence,
then this may not be the episode for you.
I just want to let you know that in advance.
Thank you guys so much for the support.
Today's guest is just a regular police officer.
That's who he is.
And he also, he made his way up to detective at some point.
And he's not a media figure.
He's not a, you know, some gun puppy or, you know, you know, he's just a, he's
a, he's someone who served.
He's someone who has protected and served to the best of his ability.
He spent 20 years on the force or forces in the Los Angeles area.
We're grateful for his time today just to learn what it's like.
Today's guest is a detective and officer retired, Mr. Brad White.
Dude, thanks so much for your time, man.
Absolutely.
Yeah, really, really appreciate it.
Yeah, I'm excited to learn about, so you've worked as police.
Police.
Detective.
Detective.
And?
A narc.
I was a narcotics.
No, you were a narc?
I was a narcotics for a while.
Oh, dang, bro.
Dude, they would always accuse people of being narcs when I was young.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
It's 21 Jump Street.
Oh, I remember one time we went in the woods to smoke some weed or something,
and it was
where you put the pen to get the can and put the little holes in the can, and
then you put
the weed on there.
Absolutely.
And right when I went to hit it, I breathed out for some reason, or kind of
sneezed or coughed, and it blew all the weed out of the bowl and just onto the
ground.
Absolutely.
And people were like, you're a fucking narc.
You know, people call me a narc.
I think somebody, yeah, I think somebody fucking hit me in the back.
But anyway, so as an officer, we're going to get into, like, you've had a
pretty crazy career.
We're going to get into it.
As an officer, take me, say if I go on a ride along with you, right?
Your first week on the job, we go on a ride along when you are a cop.
Okay.
What's that like?
You're saying that it was my first week on the job?
Yeah, I'm just trying to put myself, like, right there in the passenger seat.
Well, first off, the first week of the job, the first time that they actually
put you out in the car by yourself, you know, I was 21 years old.
I remember driving out of the parking lot and, you know, getting ready to pull
on that street, and I'm in full uniform.
You know, I got a shotgun.
I got a gun.
I got a police car.
They're basically going out, saying, go out and do what you got to do.
And I remember the feeling of it just going, these people are fucking nuts.
You know, this is crazy.
I'm 21 years old, and, you know, I'm in this uniform.
And they're literally sending me out to do what cops do.
So it takes a little bit.
I remember at the starting, it took a while to get used to, you know.
It's a tremendous amount of power.
Oh, I can't imagine.
That reminds me of even just when I got my first car and I'm driving off.
I'm like, okay, I'm leaving home.
I'm just, it's me out here.
I can't imagine if there's also weapons.
Weapons, shotguns, whole crew of guys out there with you.
They're going to back up, whatever it is you do.
You know, there's a, it's pretty substantial for a young kid, especially at
that age.
I can't even imagine.
Yeah, too young.
21's too young.
Yeah.
My belief is 21's too young.
I think there needs to be a little bit, you need to be a little further in life.
But, you know, they pull them as early as 21.
Wow.
So you're rolling out there 21, you got the guns, you got the weaponry, you're
cruising.
Are you like, is there part of, is it excitement too?
Is it just fear?
What is it?
You know, there wasn't a lot of fear, a ton of adrenaline, a ton of excitement.
You know, you've already gone through a long process, the academy where you've
been, you
know, gone through a lot of training and seen a lot of scenarios and heard a
lot of stories.
So, you know, when you first get out there and you get out on the streets, it's
pure adrenaline.
I don't ever remember, I don't ever remember being initially scared.
Fear wasn't really a factor.
It was just too big.
The group was too big.
There was too much.
I mean, you got a gun for God's sake, you know, you're going out on your own.
What music did you listen to?
Like, what song do you put on that first time you're rolling out?
Actually, none.
I didn't.
When I got into narcotics, when we would go to search warrants, we would always,
all
the guys would wear, you know, headsets on the way to the location.
We always listened to our own music.
Like, I, I listened to, for scenarios like that, I listened to Danzig, Mother.
I don't know why, but that was a big one for me.
Tell your children not to go my way.
Yeah, bro.
Yeah, just the lick itself.
But I actually would listen to, my generation, you know, I would listen to a
lot of Eazy-E,
Six in the Morning.
Oh, yeah.
You know, stuff like that.
Real motherfuckers.
Yeah, yeah.
Six in the morning, police at my door.
Okay, so you're out there, so I'm on your right along your first week.
What's, does it get kind of wild your first week?
What's that like?
No, it's just getting used to it, you know, just kind of figuring out how it's
done.
Again, it's a tremendous amount of power and, and everything's new.
I mean, I can remember being 21 years old, going to domestic violence calls and,
you know,
going-
And you haven't even had any domestic violence in your own life.
I didn't even have a girlfriend.
Yeah.
You know, at that point, I didn't, I didn't know anything about relationships,
but you would
go into these situations where people were in turmoil, you know, and there was
real problems
and they would look at you and go, you know, what are you going to do?
What are we going to do?
And I remember thinking in my mind, like, well, I got no fucking clue, you know?
Would you ever call your mom and be like, mom, what should I even do to you?
No, I never called my mom.
I never called my mom and asked if I should, I probably should have, but you
just kind of
wing it, you know, it's, it's really changed the way I look at everything,
those scenarios,
because there was a real expectation.
Like I knew what I was doing, especially being young.
They just, cause you're in that uniform.
They think that, you know, what the next step is as far as solving the
situation.
And, and you really don't for a long time, you wing it, you know, within the
law, there's
all kinds of statues and laws that y'all follow.
But when they start asking for advice or, or, you know, it's crazy.
The expectation that you, you have a clear understanding of what to do in any
given situation.
Wow.
And the situations vary.
Yeah.
So it must be crazy.
So like a lot of times you are, when you encounter someone, they need, they're
having
the worst day or it's their, they need help.
It's like the look in their eyes, it must always be one of like panic or fear
or.
Yeah.
Generally you're dealing with people's worst day, no matter what it was, you're
never going
to a scenario where people are happy and things are going well.
It's always bad situations, even if it's as simple as a ticket, you know, for
some people,
a ticket's a humongous ordeal.
Oh yeah, dude.
You get a ticket, dude.
I remember I got three tickets before I even went to court for my first ticket.
So.
I got my first ticket.
I actually got my first ticket on the way to being sworn in, in downtown LA.
It's the first time I ever drove in downtown LA.
And I made an illegal U-turn and ended up getting a ticket.
Even showed the guy the paperwork saying, I'm getting sworn in.
I'm, I'm, I'm one of you guys.
And he still wrote me a ticket.
Dang, we got to make those quotas.
Yeah.
That's what they say.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um, so tell me like one of the craziest things that kind of happened out of the
gate, like
something that's kind of wild.
Um, the, the first time I witnessed someone die.
Um, wow.
Which is in 20 years, there's been quite a few of those.
Um, but the first one I ever watched was a, uh, I got a radio call.
Uh, I was very young.
I got a radio calls in the LA area and it was with a subject with a gun and
they gave us
a description.
And when I pulled up to the location, it was like a, like a waffle, not a
waffle house,
but like a chicken place or something.
And I saw the guys out front based on the description.
It was a kid wearing a red puffer jacket.
And as soon as I pulled up on the kid, he bolted.
So, um, chase him a little bit with the car, as long as I could.
Eventually he started cutting through businesses and so on.
So I'd go on on foot.
Uh, we had a foot pursuit that went on for a little bit.
I chased the guy through, you know, some parking lots and so such.
And the kid ended up running into the street.
Uh, I believe it was, it was right at Manchester and Gramercy and kid ran right
out into the
street without checking traffic and he got hit by a car.
Um, I was, I don't know, 20, 30, then probably not even that far, probably
about 20 yards behind
him.
So it was right in front of me.
The, uh, he was hit at full speed.
It was, it was, it was brutal.
It was brutal.
The kid, um, he was a mess, you know, and it was the first time I ever
witnessed someone
die.
And so are you at that point, do you, are you still like in pursuit or at that
point
it, it immediately you recognize, oh, this is a bad situation.
Now this has changed.
Um, there's just a lot of dynamics to that because there's a lot of civil, when
you're
a cop, there's just a lot of civil liability and no matter what you do, you
know what I
mean?
Even in a scenario like that, when you're, when you're going after someone that
has, is in
the commission of a crime, the fact that they're running from you and you are
chasing them,
it puts you in some kind of civil liability for it that, that I realized at a
later time
at that point, cause I was so young, it was just, it was overwhelming.
I mean, I couldn't even talk.
You literally had to stop and I lost my breath.
I remember losing my breath and not being able to, to, to breathe for a second,
just because
it was just, it was incredible.
You know, it probably happened like that, like that.
And it was brutal and it was, and you just, you just don't even know how to
react.
You know, it's, it's unless people come out of their shoes when they get hit
like that.
Yeah.
People do come out of their shoes.
No way.
People come out of the, yes.
People come out of their shoes.
People, um, I can traffic accidents are probably some of the most simplistic,
horrific things
that you experienced for sure.
Um, and so when that guy gets hit, do 