Name: Man In Here | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #438
Uploaded: 2023-04-05T05:20:38.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Man In Here | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #438' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Man In Here | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #438' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-05. Transcript available.

Man In Here | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #438

we're adding an eighth show in austin on june 10th tickets go on sale wednesday
at 10 a.m
local time you'll be able to get those so don't go and pay those overpriced
resellers
uh sale amounts and that goes the same for miami um for other cities we're
going to be coming to
i'll add a show where i'll come back through but uh let's don't give those guys
all that cash
those guys are crooks i'd rather um i'd rather come back uh we'll also we will
be adding at some
point um europe and australia i just don't know when yet so thank you for your
patience there it
just we don't know so we're looking at it it's a lot and we don't want to go
and just have to hurry
it up we want to enjoy ourselves when we come uh new york city las vegas uncasville
connecticut and
toronto uh all still have tickets always get your tickets at theovon.com t-o-u-r
um thank you very
much for your support to any show you've come to uh we love you what's up guys
um my name's theo and i'm
a human um i am what's going on i've been uh
been running around a lot been you know on the go
you know i mean just i feel like the lord just put that go saline in me
you know that 91 octane or whatever and i've been burning boy i've been go go
going um
and sometimes it's hard to get a moment to was hard to get a moment these days
you know i think about that a lot and it's hard for me to like get a moment
where it's like okay this is a moment that's not where i'm not being pulled or
pushed or
interrupted or overwhelmed or well overwhelm is okay but where i'm not being
like
where i'm not needing or wanting anything except for
some of my own time
like i just want to
have like have enough peace or whatever going on so i can evaluate where i am
sometimes
things are so busy so hectic you don't even know what's going on
you haven't even looked at you know sometimes you're so busy you don't even
look at you know
you'll take your pulse in the evening and you're dead you were you died in the
morning you didn't even
know it because you just been you just kept you know you were just running on
fury but you kept going
like damn well you died and you run into a buddy he's like oh damn you're you're
dude you got to
lay down you're dead you know you died earlier
but that's what it's like these days things get so busy that um
you know i don't know if i'm living sometimes or if i'm doing a to-do list
and then i don't know whose to-do list it is sometimes
i don't know if it's my own things that i want to be doing
is it things that i feel like
people want me to be doing
like whose expectations am i
living up to
or am i chasing
or am i trying to fulfill
that's what i wonder sometimes um
and i can just ask myself well hey who's
is this your dream you're doing is this your
goal you're doing is this and it can be anything anything you're doing
throughout your day or you
know if in your plans or in your week or something that you're a current
you know job or um
undertaking a relationship even it could be anything that you're doing
or committing yourself to
and i i just ask myself sometimes who's
whose goal is this whose expectation is this mine is this um
my parents is this a god is this what am i doing and for whom am i doing it um
and so i think yeah some of the getting some moments of time where i have to
myself
you know i just i need that to touch base with myself and
just to look at the charts
you know it's like somehow you don't look at your chart you don't look at your
own
you don't take enough inventory of yourself and
you don't yeah you don't even know what's going on you finally look at your
chart and you're like
yeah damn i
you know i took a wrong turn four months ago but i just didn't even you know i
didn't stop and look
at where i've been
because i just think that if i keep going
i'll get some i'll get i don't know
i don't know i'm kind of rambling but sometimes these days you get so busy you
don't even you know
by the time you look at your uh
your chart you were supposed to use you died a week ago and you're just out
here damn ghosting
doing stuff making wagers online and uh you know going buying stuff at uh
trader joe's
and you're dang you're supposed to be deceased and you're like oh damn i didn't
even
i was so busy live you know living or doing that i didn't even realize i was
damn gone
that's how busy you can get these days it feels like um
anyway sorry if that was kind of a down or i didn't mean to be a debbie downer
or whatever
but i just yeah i think i've just been running so much it's um i'm trying to
get a little bit of take
some inventory of myself and see what the hell what's what's going on with you
how are you what's up
um
so and i've been i think i've been a little bit burnt out you know i got to get
a week off sometime soon
i'm gonna take a um vacation
in a vacation that's just where
i mean that's kind of where you tell
that's where you tell time to kind of hold you nuts bruh
so yeah let me do that let me um
let me think about what i've been
let me take a moment i feel uh you know i've been worried recently about my own
ego
i've been worried a lot about my own ego
just because the ego it's such a sneaky thing it's like your shadow but
but it's on the inside of you
and its goal is to
is to is to trick you to think that you're having self-confidence
that's what i think let me see what is it ego
a person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance
um
the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious
and is responsible for a sense of personal identity
yeah i think i just i think i've just been worried about my ego a little um
you know i think there's there's things have just kind of gotten busier and
stuff and so i just
i just worry about it
you know i want to be i want to try and be
you know i can just feel it flare up here and there like
um
oh why isn't this this way or why you know expecting things to be perfect
expecting
and it's not like i deserve them to be perfect but it's still it's an
expectation that things should
be or things why aren't things going smoothly what you know so i just i just
want to have awareness of that
because that's the word man if you have if your ego is leading the drive this
and then you're
it's not even you that's not even it's you but it's you just you're working for
this
you working for a damn dirty landlord brother if your ego is running the show
so anyway that's been something that's been going on what else um yeah i want
to take a vacation so i'm
going to do that sometime and uh
yeah just still battling trying to stay off the vapes it's been a war i had
five days at one point and
and then i seceded i seceded uh to the union or whatever i don't know what i
seceded to but i gave up
and i just damn hit that son and i've been on i've been i've been on them bro
god i've been on them
dude you i mean
if you wrote damn vapes in here dude
inside of it right out if you wrote if you wrote if you wrote vapes in here on
the outside of a wishing
well and you came there at night with a flashlight and look down in there
i'd be in there and i'd be damn just wishing for vapes
and so anyway that's what's been going on dude i just wanted to touch
just check in um of things that have just kind of been on my mind and heart a
little bit
and uh yeah we'll get into some episode man it's been an exciting few weeks i'm
sorry that i haven't
gotten to be here with you guys for one-on-one hanging out um let's get into it
and then we'll uh
and then we'll be into it praise god baby
gang
a long time ago
i was in love with a girl
and i think i took that love a little too far
you can see the cigarette burns on the wall and all the empty bottles in the
hall
if the water gets too rough you know who to call
comes you baby
and i can see the way he looks in your eyes
come on baby
come on come on come on come on i'm surprised i'm so surprised
sometimes you gotta leave your lover if you want to love again
that's him right there that's eddie nine volt
and he is baby
god baby he's that damn uh he's that mulatto canary right there baby
eddie nine volt he's got all the colors in his throat
oh no you down
you be i mean you could just damn beat a 64 pack of crayons
right out of his tonsils i bet he's just he
god he's got it in him eddie nine volt little black flies
and that's what that's called right there
and if you have a beautiful tune or something if you're a band that does
beautiful music and it's something new and novel you could send it in
uh to the email of the producer and we'd like to sometimes put some new music
out there
what's been up uh what's been up with you what's been up with you
you know if there's something going on with yourself um if there's something
you feel like
you've been keeping or having sharing or something like that or um something
that's been burdening you
um you know you can always hit the hotline it's nine eight five six six four
nine five zero three
and put it in there put it in there you know you know and uh some of them we
get to someone we don't
we listen to all of them may take a while but uh sometimes it's nice to just
get something out of
you to get something out of your uh chest um i'm upstairs i wanted to put that
on you for everybody
that came out uh the past few weeks and sat out in the balconies up there in
the john wilkes booths
you know just if anybody if you're up in there in that balcony it does a lot of
things happen up there
people back there doing dice you know somebody back there selling um
organic ketamine somebody
you know they'll have somebody there that's on ketamine
and then they'll be just you know pulling dandruff off up and selling just
organic damn ketamine right
off a dude they're just you know bagging up uh dandruff off uh some dude that's
in a k-hole
and slanging that bam next thing you know somebody else is in the bathroom
they're damn they're in there you know and they're doing cat they're doing
you know uh dandruff and ketamine you know ketamine that's cut with dandruff
like well dang this guy
you know next thing you know the guys out there just just ejaculating outside
of a damn uh
sports clips or whatever wherever wherever you get your hair cut dude i
remember one time when i was um
god i don't know i was probably well i was real we're poor so i don't i don't
know if it really
matters what age you are when you're that poor when you're as poor as we were i
don't think it
nobody it don't matter you could be two you could be 11 14 all the the same shits
happening around
you people are smoking somebody's touching somebody illegally um the water is
going to be shut off it's
the same type of so age is really
you know knowing every year is kind of something i think that wealthier people
do
you know oh western is seven you know
meanwhile a little uh ricky bruh little ricky who's you know ambidextrous in
his own neck
because he you know because somebody in his family shouldn't have been making
love bruh
a little ricky he he he uh he he might be three he might be 15 though he's over
there just smoking
dorales and chilling baby and it don't matter you don't know where he's coming
in he wets the bed
that's how he you know he'll leave me he'll wet the bed and leave a message in
this pit in the urine
on the sheets i need help it'll say on it i mean these that's where i'm from
where the the death the the desire that for just damn for just for you know you'll
piss what you
need right into the damn bed milk i used to piss that into the sheet you know
lunch i'd write just
you'd wake up and i'd roll over and pull back the top sheet and i just said
just cleanly pissed
just damn just wiener calligraphy come right out of me lunch right on the sheet
damn so if you were
therapist you could have pull off that tie every week you could have seen when
i needed lunch uh
uh field trip signature on document that took me i'd take me three nights to urinate
that into the
thing but mom would be gone i wouldn't have nobody would be there to sign it
for me so i'd just
falsi