Name: Rainn Wilson | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #442
Uploaded: 2023-05-02T15:00:24.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rainn Wilson | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #442' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rainn Wilson | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #442' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-02. Transcript available.

Rainn Wilson | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #442

I have a new tour date to announce, just got back from Phoenix, but I'm
announcing right now, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, on July 14th at Kinsman Park,
the Great Outdoors Comedy Festival, that'll be interesting, it's outdoors, and
so I'm real curious about that.
We will be putting up other shows in Canada as well over time, but we are
excited to make that work, July 14th, get tickets starting Wednesday, May 3rd
at 10 a.m. Mountain Time with code RATKING, general on sale starts Friday, May
5th at 10 a.m. Mountain Time.
I will also be coming to Guilford, New Hampshire, July 20th, Windsor, Ontario,
August 18th, Niagara Falls, Ontario, on August 20th, and Toronto, Ontario, on
August 27th, those are Canada.
Get all your tickets at Theovan.com slash T-O-U-R for your best price on
tickets.
We now have Be Good to Yourself crewnecks available in light blue, maroon, and
cement, that embankment gang color, you know it.
Check these out along with the new windbreaker at TheovanStore.com, and thank
you for your support.
Today's guest is a multi-talented man, he's a buffet of talent.
He's the meat, he's the salad, he's the pudding, he's the tots, he's got it all.
He's an actor, he's a creator.
You may know him from his iconic role on The Office.
He has a new book out called Soul Boom, Why We Need a Spiritual Revolution.
He also has a new travel show that'll be coming out soon, you can check that
out, called The Geography of Bliss.
He made me laugh and just made me happy so many times in my life.
I'm grateful to sit and talk with him today.
Today's guest is Rainn Wilson.
I think you look pretty nice here.
Oh, I think I look great.
You look great.
I've got a lot of beverages.
Am I okay to have this on camera?
Yeah.
Will they sue you?
Nope, you'll be fine.
Hey man, in all truth, it's such a pleasure to meet you and I've been just
dying at your stuff for years.
I know you get this all the time, but in all truth, I was so surprised.
Theo Vaughn wants you in the show.
I was like, what?
I'm just, I'm a huge, huge fan.
Really?
Oh man, I have just chortled at your ridiculous brain for many years.
And for real.
Wow, man, that's awesome, bro.
No, for real.
No, I'm trying to, I'm honestly trying to genuinely drop in and hear that.
And take it in.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's really nice of you to say.
Yeah, I just did Burt Kreischer's, oops, I just did Burt Kreischer's the other
day and it's like you and Burt and Tom, like that whole, the whole gang you got
going on, like have cornered this whole section of like comedy and social media.
It's, I'm a huge fan anyways, so.
It's a universe, man.
Yeah.
It's a real little universe.
That's really nice of you to say, man.
Obviously, you've, I mean, you've made people laugh.
You almost have to take a second when you sit with you to get to just be with
you to get past like the.
You see a lot of Dwight going on or something like that?
No, no, I'm seeing you, I feel like.
But I think there's just, you have to let kind of like the, you just have to
let the premonitions fall by the wayside a bit, you know, or the fog that's in
before you that you can't even help of like just because of your life and your
talent and how visible you've been.
Um, I think there's a little bit of it sometimes with people probably.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, but I feel like I'm just sitting here with you.
All right.
Cool.
Yeah.
Cool.
Awesome.
Um, and thanks, man.
I read the first 50 pages of your book.
Damn, that's pretty good.
Thank you.
I thought, I figured.
It's a hell of a lot better than Burt Kreischer.
He didn't read page one.
Oh man, I bet if you'd have written it on the inside of a 12 pack, he'd have
read it.
Yeah.
Now he would have.
Now he would have.
Oh, he's going to read his own epitaph soon, dude.
Wow.
That's talk about premonitions.
That was a little cold.
That got a little dark.
That was a little cold.
Sorry, Burt.
Want you to be alive.
Um, but I thought it was interesting.
I thought it would just, it was kind of a perfect reflection of like where a
lot of people are
at in their lives right now.
I think just as a society, as a species, um, in like this kind of not only a
quest maybe
for spirituality, but an examination of spirituality, what spirituality means,
um, all kinds of stuff
like that.
Uh, so I thought it was, and we can get into it, but, um, yeah, I know you said
that there
was, it's hard for people.
Why do they lock up the pissers in the office buildings was interesting while
they lock them.
So do you want to go from my book on spirituality to like, to locking up restrooms?
Is that where we, is that the transition?
Yeah, I do and everything at once kind of, you know.
Okay.
Yeah.
So I have this problem and I think it's a problem.
I don't know that it exists in other cities, but in LA, it's this kind of thing
where every
single bathroom needs a key and like, what the hell?
Like, just let them be open.
Like, I understand if you've got a building like on skid road downtown, like
maybe you
just don't want someone setting up a tent in there and moving in or something
like that.
Like I get that, but you'd be like, we're out here in the middle of the San
Fernando Valley.
What do they think?
Like someone's going to wander into this building off the street and like come
in and like do
something nefarious, shoot up drugs in the, in the restroom.
Why do you need keys?
Yeah.
Well, they should give you a certain, if you do well enough, you should get a
general,
a key to at least so many bathrooms.
That's a good idea.
There could be like an app.
You unlock it.
It's like a game.
It's like Candy Crush and you play it enough.
You're a responsible enough citizen.
With your app, you get into bathrooms, wherever.
You could take a shit wherever you're like, oh, I'm going down the valley.
I'm not going to name what stop off the one-on-one you're at, but you know, you're
down the one-on-one
like, oh man, I really need to go.
And like you, you have an app.
It's like when you have an app that searches for, you know, charging stations
for your electric
car, you know, you've got an app with a little map on it.
And then this allows you to come in and take a dookie somewhere you're
privileged.
Yeah.
I can shit off of Victory Boulevard now.
And it opens up.
I don't know.
We got some, the key thing has got to, it's a very LA thing.
I don't imagine they do that in Cincinnati.
I imagine in Cincinnati, like you just park and you can just go in and like
take a crap
somewhere without a key.
Yeah.
And people recognize that people have to take craps.
I think it's like here, they almost want to pretend like, oh God, you weirdo
have with
your bodily, with your bowels and your old fashioned urethra or whatever you
have to go and do
urine or whatever, like, oh, you peasant, you know, like, yeah, come get a key.
Like they almost make it like it's an outhouse, but it's inside kind of.
Right.
Right.
It's, it's elitist.
Like LA is so elitist.
Yeah.
Even the bathrooms are elitist.
Yeah.
You got to go.
Sometimes, you know what it's like.
Sometimes you've got appointments around town and you got really got to go.
What are you going to do?
Like Starbucks is really the only place that's open.
Grocery stores are pretty good.
Do you notice that?
Yeah.
There's always a bathroom in a grocery store.
You'd never think that that's like the land of accessible bathrooms.
It's a long hike.
You got to get back in there.
I'm not going to, I'm not going to lie.
You get, you pull into a Ralph's or an A&P.
You got to, you got to traverse a couple hundred yards before you get back to
that thing.
And the frozen food aisle.
You notice if you traverse down that one, it feels longer than the other aisles
for some
reason.
Does it really?
Yeah.
I think so.
It feels because there's, it just feels brighter and like kind of vibe or like
someone
could have had to be doing a party in a couple hours.
It's that.
It's also maybe an optical illusion.
Yeah.
And it's kind of like Luke Skywalker flying the TIE fighter through.
Yes.
Down those long alleys.
You're right.
It all feels the same.
So I think there's this weird thing in your head where it doesn't feel new for
a few
seconds.
Yeah.
So it's just like, am I stuck in a corridor?
Whereas on a regular aisle, it's like, these are the red chips.
These are the brown.
You know, little cookies.
So it keeps changing and it's like.
Do you ever go back in the back of a grocery store and like you got to use the
bathroom
and then you go through the employees swinging doors, like employees only, but
you have to
go back there.
There's a whole world back there.
It's a magical world back there.
Well, there's usually somebody's kind of crying a little bit.
Somebody has a hairnet, right?
Sure.
When you see that out of the gate, you know.
Yeah.
And then somebody has their hands on somebody else's back and they're consoling
them, but
the hands are covered with potato salad, blood.
Where are you going with this?
I don't know.
Those plastic.
Oh, the plastic gloves.
Yeah.
The deli gloves.
But then potato salad and blood on the outside of those.
Why?
So there was obviously.
Why do grocery stores always have the same things in the deli section?
Do you ever notice that?
You go in, you go shopping.
It's like coleslaw, potato salad, like a broccoli salad just smothered in
mayonnaise.
Yeah.
You got your deli meats and cheeses, but then like, it's like a shrimp salad.
You don't know how old it is.
Again, smothered in mayonnaise.
Yes.
Why don't they mix it up back there in the deli cases of grocery stores?
You know what I mean?
It's 2023, Theo.
I think it would create a little bit of novelty if you thought, I'm going to go
see what new
they have there.
Yeah.
Let those chefs in the hairnets with the plastic gloves, like let them.
Let them be creative.
Let them be creative.
Let them be art.
Let them be the artists that they are, the artisans.
They don't do that.
You don't feel a lot of creativity when you wander into that area of the store.
Yeah.
That's the saddest section of any grocery store.
Yeah.
Because it's cold too.
You're like, oh, why'd they put that?
You know, they could at least give them some heat.
That's right.
That's right.
And the guy, everybody looks like non-binary kind of because of the hairnets.
I think everybody has sort of this, you know, everybody is running a meat slicer.
It's, there's a lot going on.
It's very Game of Thrones-y right there.
Yeah.
You think so?
There's a lot of like, do you mean it in terms of like people killing each
other or?
It has an archaic sort of guillotine-y kind of.
Because you're talking about the slicer.
Yeah, with the slicer and then there's, sometimes there's like a meat hanging,
you know?
Yeah.
It's like a one like wiener of meat, like hanging from that thing.
That's true.
There can be a wiener chain.
Oh.
Yeah.
So it's just, yeah, I think that makes you, if you're a kid and your mom takes
you by there,
you're like, oh, this isn't for us.
Yeah.
It's where an appetite goes to die, really, you know?
And you don't really need to get the meats sliced.
And they have like a nice like head of like pastrami or whatever.
And then you say, I want a pound of that.
Yeah.
But they don't open that one up.
They've got another old one that's already been pre-opened and they slice that
one up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You kind of pick out the orphan you want, but they bring in the other orphan,
you know?
Oh, here's little Ricky, you know?
He's got shingles, but he's just as good as his brother.
And you're like, oh, come on.
You'll never know the difference.
You know, I worked at a grocery.
Did you ever work?
I never worked at a grocery store.
I had a lot of shitty jobs in my day, but never worked in a grocery store.
Yeah.
What was that like?
Did you stock shelves or bag?
Yeah, I did stocking and I got promoted up to eventually the cashier.
I was associate cashier and then cashier.
What's an associate cashier?
I didn't know that was a position.
Yeah.
You just stand by the cashier bagging.
Oh, okay.
But they called u