Name: Duncan Trussell | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #449
Uploaded: 2023-06-20T15:00:19.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Duncan Trussell | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #449' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Duncan Trussell | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #449' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-20. Transcript available.

Duncan Trussell | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #449

I will be in Tampa, Florida.
I want to let you know that from June 23rd to 25th this Friday, Saturday,
Sunday.
This weekend, that's right.
Seats are selling fast.
I'm thankful for that.
We've also added more seats in Guilford, New Hampshire on July 20th at the Bank
of New Hampshire Pavilion.
Those are lawn seats.
You can sit out on the lawn and bring something.
I don't know what you can bring.
You got to check with the venue, but maybe get you a little tapestry or
something out there, a little blanket and get out there and hug somebody and giggle.
Y'all can lay there together and spoon and giggle if you want.
And hell, take a damn pill or something if you're doing pills.
I don't know.
I don't do them.
We also have tickets available in Edmonton, Alberta on July 14th.
Grantville, PA on July 19th.
Winsor, Ontario on August 18th.
Toronto, Ontario, August 19th.
And Niagara Falls, August 20th.
That's where you get all the tickets.
TheoVaughn.com slash T-O-U-R.
Thank you so much for supporting the Return of the Rat Tour.
I want you to check out the new Rat Life Tees.
They're in light blue, salmon, and sand.
And the new Rat King, Big Head Tees.
Hey, Big Head.
From Alaska to Nebraska, baby.
You know what I'm saying.
You want to tickle that nickel?
I'm the Fonz with the bronze, baby.
All that and more at TheoVaughnStore.com.
Love you guys.
I want to thank Rooster Teeth for allowing us time today here in their studio
space out here in Austin, Texas.
We are grateful to them, and we are grateful for this space.
Today's guest is a comedian.
He's a podcaster.
He's an, I think I would say he's an enlightened being.
He has his own podcast called The Duncan Trussell Family Hour.
He has a show on Netflix.
He's one of a kind.
Today's guest is my friend, Mr. Duncan Trussell.
Shine that light on me
I'll sit and tell you my stories
Shine on me
And I will find a song
I'll be singing
I'm up to you
And now I've been moving way too fast
You know, they had a man by us that, uh, they found a Korean guy who had been
hiding, I guess, in the ceiling of the YMCA.
What?
Yeah, this was in, um, Santa Monica.
They found a Korean in the ceiling
And so they, uh, they shut everything down.
One time, like, the police came in and raided him.
He'd been going there for years, you know.
He'd been, like, sneaking out.
He's, like, one of those
You know, people are, uh, what's that new thing?
People are hiding in people's homes or whatever.
Nesting.
Yeah.
Yeah, nesting.
Yeah.
They nest in your house.
You don't know.
They come down and drink your milk.
Right.
Sorry.
Yeah, that's what's going on.
It's like there was, and this guy was nesting, um, in the YMCA.
Not a bad place to nest.
Oh, no.
And I would, I remember I saw him for years.
Sorry, Zach.
Uh, I was a bit abrupt there.
I'm having a long, I'm having a long day and it's only this time.
You are, Theo.
What happened?
Well, there's fucking people in the ceiling, brother.
There's people in my ceiling right now.
You know, there's squatters.
I got Koreans in my brain.
I got brothers in my head.
Who knows what else?
Yeah, man, it would be so wonderful to have some brain scanning device that
showed you
a visual depiction of all the various entities, whatever they may be, whether
it's, you know,
psychological structures or authentic demons.
So you could just get the rundown, like when you get blood tests, you know?
Yeah.
Because then you'd know, you'd know, like why you're acting the way you act
sometimes.
Not you specifically, but you know, when the monster pops out.
Oh, I think that that's, you know, I wonder a lot if we do.
I was just talking about this on Rogan the other day.
If we do enough of the right testing, like we take people's temperature, like
that's such
a, temperature is such a, who cares?
You can almost guess it, you know, if you're just, if you're anybody with a
thermometer or
with two cents, you know?
Finger?
Yeah.
Like you could be, you could touch somebody like, oh, you're warm or you're
cold.
You know, you're dead.
You're alive.
You know, it's like, but I feel like it, we just, we have such primitive
testing.
It still feels like that we're allowed to see.
Right.
I would love to know.
Yeah.
What's, what the, who's in here today?
Right.
What skeletons are out?
Yeah.
What unaddressed trauma is about to explode out of me in the middle of traffic?
And then you'll know, and then maybe it won't happen, but this is, yeah, I, man,
it's, you
know, I think the testing we have on the human body is pretty remarkable, right?
Like you can do, like, you don't even have to get the, uh, what the prostate
thing, you
know, where they shove the tube and cut the polyps.
It's disgusting.
It's like a haircut for your intestines.
I got to get one soon, but the, you could just do like some test that tells you
if you
know, you've got a problem.
Yeah.
You don't have to get the Michael Jackson drug and then have this long tube
that your doctor
is weirdly like excited to tell you about.
Yeah.
He's listening to Billy Jean while he puts it in you.
My doctor was so excited.
He's like, you'll be able to see your appendix.
Like, I don't want to see my fucking appendix.
I never want to see it.
I want to die without seeing my appendix.
Yeah.
But anyway, now they can just test it.
I can't remember what the name of it is.
The worst commercial on TV.
It's like a, like a, an annoying corrective animation, like interrupts people
when they're
swimming.
And it's like, have you had your asshole checked?
Yeah.
It's a stupid commercial.
But the point is if they can do that, it's interesting.
The mind, the mind is like the ocean, you know, we have no idea what's going on
in there.
Like it's the biggest part of planet earth and we barely know what's down there.
It's really curious.
Well, in the ocean too, man, the ocean, a lot of it is most of the animals are
by the edge.
Yeah.
Right.
Like the, you're talking like down there in those thermal vents, it starts low
population density.
And what is down there is like terror is terrifying.
Well, it's the same type of people that live.
I think if you get out in a very rural Utah or you get out into like, you go
deep into the
mountains or into some caverns or something, you find some real cryptic homies
out there.
I'm like, dude, when I was in Asheville, the last day of my kid's preschool,
right before
we left, I met a psychologist whose job was to go out into deep Appalachia and
like, you
know, that's where all his clients were and just what you're saying, like the
stuff going
on out there is crazy.
Like he was telling me one of his patients took a scythe and went to this dude's
trailer
where I guess he's sitting watching TV and use the scythe to cut through the
trailer into
the suit's back, like the wall with a scythe.
Oh, you're just watching like American Ninja Challenge and a scythe comes
through your fucking
trailer.
But how interactive is that?
I mean, you couldn't, no matter what cable you paid for, rarely would you be
watching American
Ninja and then an actual bootleg fucking meth ninja rolls up with a scythe.
And cracks through your homestead.
Like 80% moonshine, just, just filled with that kind of moonshine that makes
your eyes
turn white and something sparks in his brain.
He's like, I'm going to do it today.
And he goes and scythes someone.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
That's our minds.
We have our back roads and we have our dark bowers and secret places.
Some people never, ever even know.
They just think they're like the first thing that comes to their mind.
They don't know that like there's a lot of shit down there.
Yeah.
They don't know that there's people pushing people to the front of the class to
say something.
They think that, oh, that's the first thought I had, but they don't know there's
all these
dark arts in the distance pushing people forward.
Yeah.
I think my mind a lot of time is like, what's that black street that they
burned down or
whatever, Zach, that was like a hollow.
That was like black.
It was like fancy.
It was like the first black, like main street.
Uh, you talking about black wall street in Tulsa?
Yeah.
That was, yeah.
I can pull that up.
They burned it down.
They burned it down a long time ago.
I'm not sure what exactly happened.
Um, it may have been racism.
It may have just been fireworks.
I don't know what it was.
White residents attacked black residents' homes and businesses as well as
cultural and public
institutions in Greenwood district of Tulsa, Oklahoma, an oil boom city.
Black wall street, one of the wealthiest black communities.
So it was like your kind of your early Atlanta.
Jesus Christ.
They burn it all down.
Yeah.
The property loss.
35 blocks were systematically looted and burned.
Um, yeah.
I don't know.
Does it say why they did this?
I'm guessing it's not fireworks.
Yeah.
This looks more like probably racism.
Mobs of white residents.
The red cross provide a relief.
Uh, do you see any, if you, if you see something, Zach, let me know.
I want you to peep on it while we're, um, but that's what kind of my head is.
You know, I remember going to the doctor one time when I was young and the guy,
they put
that thing in your head, that little looker, you know, the looker, it like it.
They put, Oh, the ear looker.
Yeah.
Stethoscope.
It's called an ear looker.
Stethoscope.
Yeah.
Ear looker.
Yeah.
Ear looker.
I got it.
Well, I know it.
Yeah.
Stethoscope.
They put it in there and the guy was like, Oh, you got a bunch of, uh, brothers
in your
head.
Right.
But he said the N word, right.
The doctor.
Yeah.
And I remember that.
And he, I was like, and he was just joking around, I guess, you know, but I, it
was like,
I didn't know what was going on.
How old were you?
I was probably nine or 10, you know, just think of that dude.
Like, imagine being that doctor looking in a kid's ear.
And that is what makes sense for you to say.
Yeah.
And that's a doctor.
He looked in, he's like, oh, you got a bunch of N words in your head.
And I was like, whoa, whoa.
What the fuck?
Yeah.
Well, tell him to come out, dude.
At least like, you know, let's get on a first name basis.
But it blew my mind.
I think he was trying to like make my dad laugh or something.
You know, it was just back in the days when there was just kind of semi-casual
racism.
Right.
You know, I mean, that's not even semi-casual racism.
That's like, I mean, if we're going to like analyze racism, that's pretty
hardcore.
Like, and that, it sounds like a joke he makes.
Like, that's just his, one of the funny bedside manner things he does when he's
with nine-year-olds.
Like that generally cracks nine-year-olds up, I guess.
With terror, it's pretty terrifying.
Oh, I didn't know what was going on.
I didn't know if like half of like in living color was living in my head.
There's humans in my ear.
What are you talking?
You're a doctor.
I'm going to trust you.
Whoa.
Yeah.
That was crazy.
Yeah.
It was just kind of the environment around us, I think.
At least you remembered it, man.
Like that's the problem is like stuff happens like that to you when you're a
kid and you forget it.
And then you get this like weird little limp, like a micro limp, a weird little,
like you have anxiety attacks when you see ear lookers or you, you don't know
why.
That's the problem.
We forget.
The mind forgets, but a lot of stuff just gets in there.
It just gets in.
Dude, I was like a few months ago, I don't know.
I mean, you know, I've done psychedelics my whole life.
So like if I get a little wobbly, generally I'm just like, all right, whatever.
You're wobbly today.
But I was like particularly like weird.
Like I was off.
I don't know how off you get, but I was like off, off.
And my wife was like, what's going on with you?
And I'm, you know, doing the Rolodex.
If I've been eating a lot of edibles, am I getting enough sleep?
You know, and like everything pretty normal.
And then I'm like, fuck.
I Google search because I try not to remember it when my mom died that day.
No.
Didn't remember it.
Didn't remember the date,