Name: Native Trim | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #469
Uploaded: 2023-11-07T20:52:38.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Native Trim | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #469' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Native Trim | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #469' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-07. Transcript available.

Native Trim | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #469

we got new merch three new shirts you can check them out uh they're beautiful
they're nice if
you're getting somebody a christmas gift this could be one get on early rat
king america gang
gang palm and the hitter 500 racing get all that and more at theovonstore.com
thank you so much for
the support tour dates we've added a third show in atlanta george on december 1st
at the fox
theater that's friday so if you are a uh that'll be the day before the uh sec
national championship
so if you think your team is going to be in it be a great show to get a ticket
to we also have
limited tickets left for evansville indiana on november 15th at the ford center
get all your
tickets at theovon.com slash t-o-u-r and sometimes i'll go uh i'll go a month
without thinking i've
thinking i breathe you ever do that
you're like damn oh that's what i'm supposed to be doing
i'm just i need air to keep going
i'm like a kite you know i'm like a kite you know i'm like one of god's kites
we all are
you know it's like we need air to keep going
but i forget about that boy i just forget i just won't even take any i won't
even i guess i'm
breathing but i just don't even just i'm doing like a little like just just
breathing but not you know not
like not really you know i'm not doing the big you know them party boys you
know i'm not taking them big
them big hits off the universe like
like i should be because that's good for me big breathing they call it i think
when you're doing
big breathing boy but yeah i'm like that i'm like a kite i think i forget that
i forget to fill myself
with air what if you saw a kite just just bouncing along the sidewalk just
rattling along you'd be
like damn that's a that's the dumbest kite i ever seen boy you'd be like kite
get some in air homie
he's just like i don't know can i have a cigarette you know he's just like god
that kite is a
that's why you gotta you gotta get that launch in your baby
but yeah anyway breathing and this is kind of the time of year i feel like i
can finally take a breath
you know you can feel the holidays right up there they're coming
you can hear the turkeys getting scared as hell bro i saw a turkey the other
day on etsy buying a
shank like damn these birds these birds know what's up even a fat sparrow you
see him getting a little
fucking uh some talon chucks you know some uh some brass knucks or some talon
you know some talon chucks
he just you know any fat bird right now getting ready to defend itself
because it's that time what in the hell is that somebody's fucking gambling
anyway um what are we talking about sometimes i sometimes i forget to breathe
that crazy i do it
but it's like this little back it's like this just like it's like this
background breathing that's just
going along i'm not really you know saying all right breathing you want to do
some fucking breathing
i got you homie i'm not taking my lungs for a walk you know i'm just putting
down a pee pad and just
letting them pee there you know that's what i'm doing when i'm just kind of
like just not
folks but sometimes when i go
that's when i'm really taking my lungs for a walk saying all right i'm gonna
take y'all to the lung
park you know i'm gonna take i'm gonna throw the ball and watch you go get it
you know so that's
i think there's something about that spending time with your lungs
instead of i take my lungs for granted bro real talk i'll be honest man i take
my lungs for granted
i'll take i take my lungs for granted my friend got bit by a shark once and his
lung got um
he got some of his lung got missing or whatever it's called and then he died he
ended up dying
actually a few years later from um i don't even know what he died from god
people will die from
anything they don't even fucking you know it's like you're like damn that's how
sherman died he was
like yeah that's how he you know sherman he didn't like to do you know he's
kind of like to just do
his own thing i guess but um but yeah it's that time of year i think to breathe
because it's when the wind picks up you hear nature breathing like a month you
know
you see a kite you know a kite is just out there just trying to decode the wind
baby
a kite is just a some it's just some arts and crafts trying to the wind bro
that's all it is man
a kite is just some paper machete that's trying to the wind homie
and that's on god baby you know it yes native american uh heritage cultural
month
and um and yes i rolled up on my boy my boy dreamer uh he does hair he does
hair over in uh
in los angeles he does it over off of uh off ohio street in sepulveda and he
give great cuts man and
and i rolled up on him once before and uh and and i love him man he's really
good he's a really
compassionate guy and he was open i mean he was open i guess you're always open
if you don't have
a real store you just have you know you're just setting up in a in a uh in a
kind of like in a
halfway house parking lot or whatever so yeah but he's uh yeah he he he's open
and so i rolled up on him
and i was driving by so i stopped right and i get in the chair i was you know i
was first in line or whatever
and and yeah now this time i was in a hurry i was in a hurry dude and i hate to
be in a hurry when
you're when you're like it's like dude we already you know i didn't do it but
we did some bad people
did bad stuff to native americans bro i'm gonna say it i'm gonna say that and
uh
and you don't want to it's hard to be like look i got nine you know i sat down
i was like dude i got
i just i'm in a hurry you know and he just he he just he just gets real natives
you know he gets he
drill drops into the culture sometimes you know he's just like he's like i am
of the wyandotte and the
mommy i am of the wyandotte and the mommy i'm like i respect that bro but
i gotta get these sideburns evened up daddy i got i gotta be up to 101 in eight
minutes homie
you know uh he's just you know he he'll just like in the season of the quiet
moon
i'm like bro um yes i agree with you but i gotta we gotta i need these bangs
just a half inch off these
bitches and i'm out you know he's like in the valley of the two rivers like
what are you talking
about bro i got a callic or what i got you know i i just i respect the topography
you're doing but i
gotta go on me you know do you take venmo he's like uh in the eve of the
setting sky oh you with sun
trust whatever it is brother uh yeah i just i hate i hated that i had to hurry
but um but i respect him
man you know i respect native americans i respect anybody that's doing what
they can um i'm sorry about
everything that happened in native americans man i really am a breaks my heart
you know
and here we are trying to learn ways to live off the land again we've gone full
circle
i think because we're realizing some of the patterns of our civilization doesn't
work out
some of the patterns the mythological patterns of uh of capitalism and of those
sorts of things don't
always work out so we're looking for solutions now so yeah hug a damn native
brother this holiday season
hug a native baby buy them a squash you know you know buy them a uh cornucopia
you know buy them a um
pork chop you know get them a get them a beautiful piece of meat shank you know
but treat treat your
native friends well because they are the leaders they are the champions of time
so i'm really grateful to
been there and to have this cut and especially them you know back in the day
native they'll they scalp you
so right when i sat down well when i sat down his uh truck battery had died so
we had to use my uh
i got a cherokee i got a cherokee dude so we used a cherokee to um do to jump
start his clippers so
that was good but it was a little risky too because you don't i don't know how
much
you know if you got 470 volts you're rolling through a set of clippers dog that
dude will
you know he'll open up a damn uh your occipital if you ain't careful in that
he'll will down he'll line you bro he'll line you up with the lord baby if you're
not real careful
you know so god that was at a high octave you know the second he put it on the
dogs were howling up
you know a couple of streets over and shit and um but we got it done so thank
you dreamer baby thank you
i'm grateful and happy um native heritage american month brother it's time we
quit
put bullshitting and we let these motherfuckers loose dog we need to break into
these casinos and
let these motherfuckers loose bro and put them back on horses and let them take
let them take over
this that we're living in now native american heritage month is observed in
november um
so that was beautiful what else we're going to talk to tammy today tammy manis
she set the record
for the world's longest mullet and we want to learn a little bit about her um
and see what's going on
with her what else um when it here it doesn't work like it used to before and i
can't keep you out of
my my baby i still loving you yeah as shearin lyrics boy got to see ed sheeran's
baby i got to see ed
sheeran's here's what happened so i had some shows in las vegas and thank you
for coming out somebody
urinated on someone at one of the shows they said it was an accident it couldn't
have been but that's
okay baby god does stuff like that and we move forward um but it was really
really exciting i've
been doing some bigger shows just because even at this rate i'm going to be on
tour for the next year
or so um i know there's some places where tickets have sold out don't go pay
extra for fancy tickets
we'll come back and get you get it in a fair rate so don't do don't do that don't
feel bad um
but yeah so anyway i got to go hang out uh i got to go see the chain smoker
right i've uh seen them
before in passing but i've never gotten to go see their um hear their uh band
so i go right i'm having
a nice time it's halloween night and i'm pretty beat it's been a long uh couple
years or whatever so
um i'm just enjoying it it's a great show and ed sheeran comes out and ed sheeran's
baby you know
if yeah if you've never seen ed sheeran's baby you know he's just i mean he's
from
he's from another country and when he comes out man he means it he's almost
like uh
it almost seems like he's like saying like he could be related to santa because
he came on stage and it
was a the vibe was great right but he comes on and he was having so much fun um
that it just changed the
whole energy it just like took the whole energy of the place into like a new
like another level of joy
and it was just nice to see and the things that he was he he it was halloween
and he just he was
dressed like a part of like a muffler it's like a catalytic convert or
something it was like a helmet
i don't remember what it was crazy looking like a car part or something um like
a like a hero at uh
at auto zone right um and he roll he comes out on stage on in that right and
just
you know half of a uh air filter cover with eye holes and he's just having a
blast man he was having
so much fun and uh and it took it just made everybody have such a good time and
so then like
you would think oh if it's a dj set because chain smokers are djs right they
play dj music
so they played like ed sheeran's like most upbeat song i don't know i don't
have it here in front of me but
and if you're on the youtube you can hear you can see i'm putting video in here
because that's what
i'm doing today with this and um but then they as soon as the song went in he
thought he was just
going to do like one song with the chain smoker guys then he they would start
one of his next songs
all right so so it kept getting like more ballady you know because he sings
like a lot of ballads and
just you know he's you know he's got that emo id baby he's that you know um he's
that you know he's
that emo ganger baby that's who he is and um and he's a masterful at it and and
so he kept getting
more ballady and so at first you were like no way everybody's gonna go along
with this because it was
kind of this up it was like this you know it was more hype in there and then
ev