Name: Jameis Winston | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #492
Uploaded: 2024-04-02T13:00:21.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jameis Winston | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #492' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jameis Winston | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #492' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-02. Transcript available.

Jameis Winston | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #492

We're coming to you today from Bar Marilou in New Orleans, Louisiana, and we're
grateful to sit
down today with NFL quarterback, Heisman Trophy winner, and one of the most
charismatic guys
in the league. Today's guest is Mr. Jameis Winston.
Yeah, cause I met somebody where I was at the grocery yesterday and I met a guy,
he said
you, he always sees you in there getting a lot of juices.
Where you at Whole Foods or Fresh Market? Yeah. I'm in there, man.
Are you?
Yeah, I'm in there. Like I get the watermelon juice, like I got a watermelon
juice right
here.
Oh, you do, huh?
Yeah, I do.
Alright.
I keep it, man.
Good for circulation, you know, good for the body.
Yeah, I'm just saying he keeps that thang on him, I heard.
I keep it.
That watermelon juice, bro. That's, yeah, you got, look, if you can't get to
one in real
time, keep the juice out of it. I feel that.
Yeah, man. Thanks for coming in, bro.
No, thank you. I'm thankful for this, man. I admire you, your story. You know
what I'm
saying?
Appreciate it.
Yeah, no doubt.
Yeah, I've been a lifelong Saints fan, too. So, yeah, this is really, it's just
a nice
opportunity, man, to get to sit down with you today. Yeah, we went to the
basketball game
last night. Pels? Yeah.
Yeah. You been? Yeah, I've been to some Pels games. Yeah, I enjoy it. Yeah. I
enjoy the
city, man. Smoothie King. Yeah.
Yeah. Actually, we went to one of my old recruits back at Florida State, Malachi
Dupree.
Uh-huh. Went to LSU. We went to his little sushi spot. Me and Cam Jordan and a
good friend,
Stone, my wife, his wife. And we met a couple that just came from the game.
They were celebrating
their second year anniversary. Last night? Yeah. She had, like, on her Pels,
like, chain
and everything. I was like, hey, man, y'all celebrating? Did the Pels win last
night? You
know, you celebrate your anniversary? That's a big night. Going to a Pels game?
Yeah. And
they were talking about, yeah, we came all the way from Mississippi. I said,
okay, that's
not that far, but to celebrate the anniversary, it is. Oh, yeah. I think an
anniversary is
important, man. No doubt. I celebrated mine Wednesday. Oh, you did? Yeah, no
doubt. Nice.
What'd y'all do? Man, four seasons at the four seasons. Really? Yeah. It was
your four
at the four seasons. Oh, that's how you do it? No doubt. We did it right. Wow.
So, I guess
you got to find something that rhymes, huh? Each time, you think? Or, like, for
fifth,
what do you have to do, then? Cinco de Mayo. Cinco de Mayo. That's my birthday.
Oh, it
is? Yeah. Oh, you can't mix them, then? Yeah, nah. Yeah, what else? Yeah, I
grew up not
far across the lake, man. So, I'm from this area. Covington, right? Yeah. Yeah.
You been
over there? Well, I've driven over there to go to Alabama. Oh, yeah. I'm from
Birmingham,
Bessman. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What was it like in your town growing up? Pretty
small
area? Yeah, pretty small. Intimate. But we had, like, a lot of celebrities. Not
celebrities,
but some of the greatest athletes there. Like, Bo Jackson. Like, D'Amico Ryan,
who coached
for Houston, Texas. For Titans, huh? The Texans. Texans, yeah. Yeah. So, like,
Carrie Rose,
Corey White. Like, we had a lot of, like, sports figures. There. Willie Mays
was right down,
like, about 15 minutes. Yeah, from Fairfield. Willie Mays? Willie Mays, man.
Did you ever get
to see him when you were a child? Well, no. He's a little older than me. Right.
But even
when you were a child? Oh, he was already deceased or no? No, he wasn't
deceased, but, like, I never
got to meet him. You think he'd drive down there and meet him? Well, I played
at, like, his baseball
field. Oh, you did? Yeah. Oh, nice. It was cool. And, yeah, what was it like?
Did y'all
have any pets growing up? Yeah, I had two pets. I had two pit bulls. One name
was, his name
was Baghdad. Oh, damn, man. Yeah. I mean, I think. He was a service dog? He was
definitely
a service dog, but he was Baghdad because, I guess, the time that everything
was going
on and, like, when we first got him, he was really a rescue. Like, he was into
fighting
and stuff and, like, he was all ate up and everything. Oh, damn. And he really
just, like,
he became my best friend. Really? You know what I'm saying? Because, you know,
like, a lot
of people are scared of pit bulls. Yeah. And he was a little timid at first
just because
of what he went through. And, like, me and my dad was like, man, you know, he
went through
war, you know. And at that time, you know, we were, like, it was doing, like,
the early
2000s when a lot of things, a lot of events had happened. In the Middle East?
Yeah, in
the Middle East. Yeah. So, we named him Baghdad, you know. Damn. Yeah. And
another one was
Ice. Oh, now, Ice seemed like he'd been into some other stuff. It was a she. It
was a
she. Okay. I'm just saying, Ice seemed like he might have got off into the drug
game. We
got her from a, from a kid, from a, is it, is it a little kitty? I think it was
one of
them. We got her from, like, a kennel. Oh, yeah. So, she was a puppy. And, uh,
we had
her, and she was, she was feisty. Really? Yeah, she was feisty. A lot of the,
yeah, a lot
of women, females are overall. And that's fine. Yeah, it is. Look, they gotta
be. To each
his own. Yeah. They gotta be feisty, man. Yeah, it seemed like you might have,
did y'all
have a cat or not? You don't see a lot of, uh, did y'all ever own a cat? No. I'm
not,
I'm not a cat guy. One of my best friends, like, he, he's a cat guy. Uh-uh.
Yeah. You
don't see, I'm gonna, I, I think, you don't see a lot of brothers with cats
either, to be
honest. Nah, like, honestly, growing up, I used to see a lot of stray cats.
Because, like,
in the house I grew in, we had a lot of, a lot of rats, like, in the bottom of
the
house. So, like, cats, they'll come and get them rats. Like, it was really,
like, I
was a big fan of Tom and Jerry. Yeah, yeah. Like, that show, and, like, it's
like, I had real life Tom and Jerry moments. The cats. Like, we had pit bulls
trained up in the back. We had the cats running through. Like, they was alley
cats
too. Like, they was some bad. Because them rats, they was big. They was slow.
Damn, you
know, like, they were living on Noah's Ark, bro. That sounded intense over
there.
Hey, man. It was a lot of, it was a lot of species multiplying. I'm trying to
tell you.
Yeah, bro. Yeah.
Cop roaches, everything. Oh, at night, you've turned it, yeah, you turn the
lights off, you
hear some romantic music going. You know what I'm saying? Them animals are
figuring it
out, baby.
I, I, one of the most memorable things was the light bugs. Do you remember
light bugs? Did
y'all have light bugs? Yeah, bro. I feel like they're extinct, bro. I haven't
seen
any light bugs lately. Well, I think there's so much light now that's in the
cities,
because in the day, they didn't have as much, you know, like, especially if you're
in the
country, you're in a smaller environment. There's not, you're not, people aren't
running
around with so much lights everywhere. You might have a porch light, maybe a,
like a floodlight
by the garage. Yeah. So, right off in the distance, you would see him. But now,
I think
also when you're in a city, you, if you see a light bug in a city, he lost. He
gotta be
lost. Yeah. You know. I mean, he ain't. He probably did. He probably got hit by
a windshield
or something, I guess. Or got knocked off and now he lost in the city. Yeah.
That'd be a good
movie, wouldn't it? A lost light bug. But they call them fireflies. Like, I
never knew,
understood. The lost fly. But I think fireflies are maybe the ones that are out
there popping
off. They shooting, bro. I think light bugs are the ones that's out there
really spreading
the word, I feel like. Yeah. Because a light bug was amazing. When you were a
kid and you
saw a light bug. Yeah, it was. Because you didn't think it was anything in the
dark. And
then, shoot. You see him. Like, literally. And they, they, like, glow. And they
come back.
They go dark and glow. And, like, it's like, you end up falling. It's like, you
know, it's
like, at a, at a kid, you know how you practice slow motion stuff. It's like,
you would mimic
the light bug just going slowly. Just seeing them just fly. And they move, like,
so subtle.
It was. And then they disappear. And you run back and tell your parents. And
that's when
your mom usually, like, say to the dad, I think he's been smoking dark.
Well, it was so many. Like, we used to get flooded with light bugs. You know
what I'm
saying? We had to watch out for the rats and the cats, but get flooded with
light bugs.
Yeah. I remember they had, because we would try to catch them in a jar. If my
grandmother
would let it, would give us, like, a little jar, like a mason jar or whatever,
we'd try
to catch them in there. Yeah. But then they'd die. If you don't put the air in
it.
Yeah, they'd die. Yeah. We'd just catch them in our hands and let them go. We'd
end
up squishing them and it'd be sad. But some of my younger cousins, they would
just take
the light out of there. Like, just kill them. Just pull it out. Oh, dang.
Somebody grew
up to be an electrician, probably. Most likely. Because that's it. I mean, that
is intense
behavior. To pull the light out of it. I don't think they had a lot of
electricity. Okay.
I think they pulling their soul out. It was the light. Oh, yeah. I know. If
something's
flying around and they just got about half a watt on them. Yeah. And you block
it.
You got to take it. Like, put it on top of your head. Like, ding. I had an idea
to
take this from you. Oh, that's wild, man. Yeah. I love stuff like that. I loved
being
like a child and like, because every experience was so new. Everything when I
was a kid was
new, man. That's one thing that I really miss. No. Like, you're just so
innocent. Yeah.
As a kid. Like, not much heartbreak. Not much real failure. You know,
everything is just
a new experience to you. Like, you always know. Like, if I fall down, I'm
getting right back
up. I'm continuing to play. I feel like when we were young, like, everyone was
outside.
You know, it wasn't like a video game time or anything like that. Like, we was
outside
playing. We didn't know other people. We're getting into fights. You know what
I'm saying?
Yeah. Look at who stole my cousin bike. Like, we going on on real, like, search
hunts. Like,
who stole my cousin bike? Yeah. And stuff like that. And then it was your other
cousin.
Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Your other cousin. Yeah, I know you like that.
Who was actually,
like, your true blood cousin. I know, bro. You know what I'm saying? Because
your uncle
had another lady up the street that you didn't know about. And that was what it
was, man. Right.
They met through choir and that's what it was, man. That's all it was. Singing
will bring people
together. It does. Yeah, I loved, like, little neighborhood stuff when you had
your friends and you
would go outside and see them. I loved stuff like that. We played a lot of
football outside.
We played in the street even, too. Yeah. You know. Did y'all play, like, throw
them up,
bust them up? Like, what did y'all play? Two-hand touch? We would play the game
where somebody
throws it up and then you just run and hit them. Yeah. Yeah. Throw them up,
bust them up. Bro. Yeah.
Yeah. Different. Yeah. And we lost some people. Did you have the same hair?
Like,
because I feel like your hair is built for, like, that type of game. Oh, yeah.
But my hair would stand out.
It would stand out? Yeah. My hair would catch an out route, bro. I didn't even
got to raise my hand. Man, it look,
it looks solid. You know what I'm saying? Thanks, bro. Yeah. You can't throw a
nan through that.
No doubt. Oh, yeah. I got, yeah. This is really some Jalen Ramsey hair, I feel
like.
It's a real, this is, I got some shut down corners on this thing. Oh, you do.
Lockdown.
And that he is.
You have a lot going on, man, in your life right now, huh? Yeah, I do. I do.
Bless, man. You're gonna be
mo