Name: Maddox Batson | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #493
Uploaded: 2024-04-04T20:30:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Maddox Batson | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #493' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Maddox Batson | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #493' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-04. Transcript available.

Maddox Batson | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #493

Today's guest is a, he's just a, he's just a young creator.
That's really what he is, and he's entertaining.
He has new music that's out, you can check it out.
I'm grateful to get to, just get to know him, because I don't even know him.
But looking forward to it.
Today's guest is Maddox Batson.
I'll sit and tell you my stories, shine on me, and I will find a song I've been
singing.
I'm going to stay.
Maddox, thanks for coming in, dude.
Sure.
So, I learned about you, man.
There's so many of my friends, I was telling them yesterday, I was like, yeah,
this kid Maddox Batson's coming in, do you know him?
And their guys are like, I've been kind of following that kid.
It's just kind of crazy how many of my friends are dialed into you.
Yeah.
Yeah, so I saw you getting ready for that dance, you know?
That's fire.
Bro.
And I was like, bro, I used to get ready for dances like that.
Yeah.
Just getting excited.
Exactly.
You know, I actually didn't get to go to the dance, and a lot of people don't
know why.
That's what I was going to ask you.
Yeah, because you said, for a dance, I don't even get to go to, and I'm like,
what happened?
Yeah, and everyone's like, yo, what?
Maddox, all the comments, like, I went to the doctor once, right?
And I was at the doctor, like, sick, like, sick, sick, right after I posted
this video.
And I was, like, sick.
And I was walking into the doctor's office, and two different people were like,
yo, Maddox,
why didn't you go to the dance?
And I'm like, dude, I'm doubled over right now.
It's not the right time to be asking this question.
I was like, yeah, man, I was actually sick.
I was sick during the dance.
It was like, yeah, right after I posted it, I did that video sick.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
So that was it.
So the reason you didn't get to go was just because you were ill.
Yeah, exactly.
I've been ill a lot, bro.
Really?
Like, I've gotten sick, like, six times in the winter.
I don't know if I'm just catching everything.
You think it's genetics or something?
Are your parents ill a lot?
Nah, not really.
My dad is.
But my mom has type 1 diabetes, so, like, other than that, she's not.
Exactly, bro.
Most people do.
I mean, who doesn't?
Yeah, if you even have half a bag of Skittles, I feel like when you're a kid,
you get it.
Yeah.
Well, I think, no, type 1 isn't, like, the sugar stuff.
Oh, it isn't?
Type 1, you get, like, diagnosed with it.
She was, like, 19.
Yeah.
Yeah, because I think there's type 1, 2, 3, I don't know what some of the
higher up ones.
Yeah.
6 or 7, I think, just means, like, you're a little, like, you're just a real
sweetie pie.
Yeah, type 6 diabetes might be, diabetes basics.
Yeah, I think type 6 just means, um.
Are there more types?
Bro, there's so many types.
Yeah, see, they don't label types, they don't label 3 through whatever, because
those are the crazy ones.
Yeah.
They only label the normal ones.
And one of them, you kind of look like a Dalmatian, I think, a little.
Like, you start getting dots all over you?
Yeah.
I haven't seen that one yet, you know?
Oh, that's the real, that's the one when you start to.
That's the one you're just like, dang, I have, I have, I have Dalmatian
diabetes, you know what I'm saying?
Like.
Yeah, yeah.
That's the one, that's the one where, like, the neighbors start to, like, uh,
they start to honk at you if you, like, run after their car.
Yeah, and you start getting, like, dog instincts, and you start, like, you
start, like, picking up sticks, start pooping everywhere.
You'll start catching a frisbee with your mouth, you're like, oh, wow, this guy
has really, he has some high-grade diabetes.
Pick up your speed, you know, just all that good.
Like, have you had, have you gone to a dance before yet, though?
Yeah, no, no, no, I've gone to them, bro.
They're, they're mad mid, I'm not gonna lie, I'm eighth grade, you know, still
middle school, so it's kind of, like, boring no one be dancing with each other,
they just sit there with their phones out every time.
Really?
You know, I'm trying to dance, bro.
Yeah.
I go there, like, why are they gonna call it a dance instead of, like, a phone
gathering, you know what I'm saying?
Yeah, yeah.
I go there, they put on Bieber, and I'm, I'm dancing, bro.
You're right.
Me and my, me and my homie Joseph, we're dancing, every time.
Sixth grade dance, everyone was looking at us crazy, filming me and stuff.
And, you know, I was just out there having a blast.
Yeah, you gotta do it.
I paid $10, I'm gonna go in there and dance, you know what I'm saying?
And even if you're single, you pay $10 to go?
Yeah, exactly.
I didn't even have a girl yet.
It's for, like, what, a lonely tax or whatever?
Exactly, they're just like, yo, Maddox, you don't have a girl, so I'm gonna
make you pay more money.
You're like, so now I don't have a girl, and I'm broke.
Yeah, exactly.
I lost my entire allowance, and I don't have a girlfriend, bro.
Dang, bro, they really be cutting y'all up.
It's tragic, it's tragic, bro.
And, bro, I used to get so nervous when I'd go to the dance, when the slow
songs would come on.
Like, I would go in the bathroom, and just to hide, like, I was, like, so
nervous of girls.
I would be that far away from them.
I would be in the bathroom.
No, I'm a girl guy, bro.
Yeah.
Let me, let me.
I am, too.
Yeah.
But at the time, I was too nervous.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Like, sixth grade, bro, until, like, the end of the year, bro, I was not having
girls, bro.
But, yeah, but right at the end, I was like, yo, these girls are, you know,
they're pretty cool, I guess.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
That's all you got to think, yeah.
Exactly.
As long as your mind's right, you're right.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Damn, all right.
But, yeah, I would get so nervous, dude.
And then one time, this guy that lived across the street, his grandfather, like,
my dad didn't live with us, and my mom was always gone.
And so, like, his grandpa helped me get ready for the dance at our school, and
he, like, was in the war or something, so he put me in, like, all of his, like,
military, like, attire or whatever.
Nice.
So, you're, like, walking in, like, yo, I'm a sergeant, where's my, get a
discount, military discount.
Oh, I showed up, yeah.
I showed up to an eighth grade dance, literally, like, walking in like this,
bro.
And people were like, what?
You're not in any military, dude.
You can't even run that path.
Yeah, you wouldn't even pass the physical route.
Yeah, your 40's bad, bro.
And, but, yeah, it was just so embarrassing, but I wore it all because I, like,
just didn't know, and you told me it was right.
Yeah, exactly.
You didn't know.
Yeah, I didn't know, man.
What other dances have you gone to?
Have you gone to, like, Sadie Hawkins?
Do you guys have, like, Sadie Hawkins or anything like that?
I don't even know what that is, bro.
It's where the girls ask the guys.
Ooh, no.
You haven't had that?
Never had one of those.
You know, like, I only went, so, I only went to one, right?
I, because one was my sixth grade year.
I actually went to that one, and I had this crush on this girl.
I didn't ask her out, though.
She wasn't my girl yet, but I was like, I was like, yo, what's up?
Did you see her at the dance?
Yeah, and I was like, I was like, yo.
But it was not it, bro.
I did not have game like I thought I had game.
You were, like, 200 feet away from you.
Yeah, I was like, yo, what's up?
I'm sitting on the other side of the cafeteria eating my pizza, and I'm trying
to talk to her.
Like, texting her.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I'm like, yo, where you at?
And I'm looking dead at her.
But, yeah, it's pretty funny.
Bro, that's hilarious.
Yeah, that's how nervous I used to get, man.
Exactly.
And so you never got to go.
So when's the next dance?
Do you have another dance coming up, or what's it look like for you?
Nah, they're always at the end of the year, so, like, we've already had ours,
and that's
the one I miss.
Oh, yeah, huh?
Yeah, bro, it's pretty tragic, dude.
I missed it last year, too.
7th and 8th grade, bro.
I'm going to have to wait until, like, what?
What's, like, high school stuff?
I don't know.
I didn't finish, yeah.
Oh, nice.
Awesome.
Yeah.
Not everybody finishes, man.
You know, that's all right.
You know?
All good.
All good.
All right, bro.
All right, bro.
But what, yeah, there's, why didn't you go to the other one, though?
Why didn't you go last year?
Oh, I was actually filming a commercial, bro.
Oh, you were?
Shout out Rooms to Go.
If you're watching any Rooms to Go commercial on your TV right now, you get,
like, an ad of
this, like, podcast.
It might be me.
You might see me bouncing on the bed.
Top right corner.
Yep.
About 36 seconds in, too.
Really?
Yeah, dude.
So you've been an actress.
You were acting and doing a lot of stuff like that for a long time.
Yes, bro.
Before I started singing, like, I started singing, like, young age, my parents,
both of
my parents, like, singing and stuff.
But I started acting, like, six, right when I moved to Alabama, right?
I started acting and I was, like, getting into plays and stuff.
I was Simba in The Lion King.
Were you really?
Yeah.
Funny, funny story.
I was third grade.
And young Simba was, like, fifth grade.
And he was, like, way taller, way bigger.
And I was adult Simba.
And it just made no sense at all.
But, you know, got the job done.
I guess I was just a better actor.
And you were, so you had, oh, there you are right there.
Boom, bro.
Watson, wow.
Yes, sir.
Dude, look at them pigs.
Whoa, hold on.
That one looks like a perp right there.
Go back to the other one.
The other one looks like a low-key Trank dealer, dude.
Okay, no shade, bro.
No shade.
It's good.
Okay, yeah, no, it's really good.
Yo, my mom used to put me in them high and tight hairstyles, bro.
I look like I'm staring into the soul of anyone who's looking at me.
Bro, that is bad.
That one looks like somebody that just climbed up out of a wishing well, it
looks like, bro.
But really cool, though.
Definitely.
Yo, whoever just pulled this up, you did me dirty, dude.
That is bad.
You're doing me wrong, man.
I don't know.
Yeah, we don't know whoever's doing that.
I don't know who's doing that.
But look.
No, actually, go back to it real quick.
Look.
It says Lion King on that.
You can say theater.
Best Christmas pageant ever.
You probably don't know what that is, but it was a pretty big play.
Wizard of Oz, you know?
Lion King Jr.
I wasn't in Broadway.
And I was going to be Aladdin, and then COVID hit, and I just fell off acting.
And then music kind of has just, like, blasted off for you recently, man.
Yeah, dude.
It was actually super crazy.
So, I'm a baller.
I play basketball and baseball.
Yeah, I saw some of your highlights on YouTube.
I'm him, bro.
Yeah, I like that.
You need to put some other highlights up.
Should I?
Yeah.
Should I?
I was going to say.
I mean, the ones you have are good.
Yeah.
The jumper, I love.
Yeah, I love this, like, about.
Bro, that was sixth grade me, bro.
That's what I'm saying.
No, no, no, you've definitely been watching, like, the wrong highlights.
Really?
Yeah, you've been watching, like, third grade Maddox.
I was still cooking, but, like, that's not it, bro.
But, like, I actually got, like, this knee disorder in both of my knees, and
that's why
I, like, couldn't play ball no more.
And, like, it's called Osgood-Slaughter's disease.
What is it?
Osgood-Slaughter?
Same.
For real, like, when I heard it, I was like, who names their child Osgood, and
who had
that?
Like, poor guy.
Your name's Osgood, and you have a disease.
Like, you're cooked.
And, first of all, how can I even tell people I have disease?
Exactly.
Every time I'm like, should I really tell them or just say I have a knee thing?
You see?
Osgood-Slaughter's disease, it's like some bone sticks up out of my kneecap.
Wow.
It's pretty strange, man.
So, you're, like, a real, you're, like, a base now.
Yeah, I'm just, I can't move most.
Yeah.
It's pretty bad, bro.
I'm, like, walking around, like, you know, like, you ever watch Forrest Gump?
Yeah, yeah