Name: Sal Vulcano | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #506
Uploaded: 2024-05-28T16:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Sal Vulcano | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #506' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Sal Vulcano | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #506' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-28. Transcript available.

Sal Vulcano | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #506

I want to announce that we have a show in Cork, Ireland now on June 9th at Live
at the Marquee,
New York City, New York, May 31st, Belfast, London, Idaho Falls, Salt Lake City,
and Las Vegas, Nevada there, 4th of July weekend.
We'll be there in Las Vegas, Nevada for two nights at Resorts World.
You can get all tickets at theovahn.com slash T-O-U-R.
And thank you for your support.
And if tickets are too expensive, make sure you're not buying them on a
secondary site.
You got to do that.
That's why we suggest go through the website.
And if they're sold out or something and they're expensive on secondary sites,
just hold the line.
We'll come back through some other time.
I love you guys, baby.
Thank you.
Today's guest has his first stand-up special, Terrified, premiering on YouTube
on May 31st.
He is one of the most energetic and engaging and humorous humans that I've ever
met.
You know him from Impractical Jokers and just from the years of joy he's
brought to all of us.
Today's guest is Mr. Sal Volcano.
Good to see you, man.
Good to see you, dude.
You too, man.
Yeah, we waited to say hey to each other kind of until the episode started.
Oh, so this is the app starting now?
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay, yeah.
So, yeah, I'm just letting people know.
Because sometimes, yeah, you start the episode and it's like, oh, man, we're
already going.
And then it's like, or you just kind of will get rid of some of the good energy
in the beginning, man.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it.
I got the good energy.
I was looking forward to seeing you, man.
Yeah, same, dude.
100%.
Yeah, so what's different?
Oh, yeah.
So the other place, like, we still have, like, our producers that work there
every day.
Okay.
We got Zach and Nick and they work over there just making sure everything's
smooth, planning ahead.
Yeah.
You know?
And then, yeah, it's been different being here, you know?
Yeah.
But you don't, how far are you from here?
This is not, you don't post up, you stay here?
I live here.
You live where we're at right now?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
I thought you, like, arrived from somewhere else.
No, no, no.
Oh, you've been here?
I've been here.
Oh, I thought you, like, arrived here.
I was like, it's a big office, man.
I was like, damn.
I fell asleep here.
Oh, okay, okay.
All right, right.
Yeah.
No, this is your permanent area.
Yeah, this is my residence.
Oh, right on.
Okay.
Oh, yeah, this is my legal residence, man.
Oh, that's so cool.
All right, so this is a great setup, dude.
Yeah, it's good.
When you went to scope the place out, this had to be, like, a big selling point
that you
could make that, like...
Well, that this existed kind of was like, oh, wow, so I could maybe make this
work, you
know?
Yeah.
I wish there was a little more space sometimes.
Up here or...
Yeah, up here.
It's big, though.
It's, I mean, it's been...
Look, that's the thing.
It's like, do I need more?
Like, I looked at a house the other day that has, like, basically, the front is
kind
of almost an office.
Okay.
And I was like, well, I could do that.
And then I'm like, but do I need more?
You know, I think it's about figuring out what you really need, kind of.
Yeah, man.
And what you want, you know?
I don't know.
And then I'm not home as much as I would like to be, so...
Yeah.
You do a lot of road still right now, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Still touring.
And then sometimes I'll go do podcasts on the road.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I know what you mean.
I've been trying to, like...
I live in a condo still.
I've been trying to build a house.
Oh, wait.
Weren't you guys building a house for a while?
We talked about this last time.
Is that true?
Dude, no joke.
I haven't progressed at all.
Oh.
We're supposed to, like, knock down a house and build a house.
And I had to go through the process.
Like, I don't know anything about this stuff.
Yeah.
Like, getting, like, an architect and, like, you know, making the plans and
then demoing
the thing.
And, you know, I'm not handy.
I don't really know anything about this stuff.
And it's just been, like, the worst experience.
Really?
Yeah.
We had stuff.
You just start squatting.
Aren't you in New York?
I am, yeah.
Yeah.
I bought the property.
Okay.
Years ago.
I thought I'd be living there already.
Yeah.
But it's all about...
So we've been making refinements, so it's, like, that's what made me think of
it.
Isn't it by a river or something?
It's by the Hudson.
Yeah.
Like, the, you know, it's by the New York there on the water.
It's pretty dope.
Like, I have questioned in the last three years, like, not doing it, like,
three times already
and just saying, fuck it, because, like, it's just been so tough to do.
That's me.
No worries.
You got to get it?
No, you know what that said?
You're going to laugh at me.
It said, no smoking, no junk except fruit every day.
That's my album.
Wow.
Just to make sure.
Yeah, because, you know, when I smoke weed, like, I eat.
It's no good.
So you'll smoke and then you'll eat.
I play this game with myself where it's like, all right, if I smoke tonight, I'll
let myself
smoke if I don't eat.
If I eat, I can't smoke.
And then when you're hot, you're just like, you're like, yeah, but, you know,
and it just
happens over and over and over and over.
It's like, but it's not even like, we're laughing, but it's like an issue.
Oh, yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, and I'm just like, I was trying to lose weight, you know, because I shot
the special
and I was like trying to lose weight for that.
And so I did really good.
I lost like a ton of weight.
You look a lot leaner.
Thanks.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's been over time, but like, it's, it's from like my heaviest, like a year
and a half
ago, probably down 50.
What?
I fluctuate up and down 50 my whole life though.
So like now I'm trying to like break down even like the next, get down to like
next 20
or whatever.
Yeah.
And it's just, it's just tough because, because I'm so stressed.
Like, oh yeah.
That's the first thing I'm going to do.
The weed is like at the end of the night, I cannot turn off.
You can't, I can't turn off my brain unless I just smoke a little and otherwise
I won't
be able to sleep.
I won't be able to just like stop.
Everything just keeps racing.
So yeah, dude, I would love to be able to have that.
I wish I could smoke dope or even smoke crack, honestly, sometimes, but, but
yeah, then it's
like, how do you also get some rest, I guess?
But yeah.
I don't know if you're going to rest with the crack though.
Yeah.
I don't know if you rest with the crack.
I don't know.
I never really like, I feel, I have known people that have done crack.
I haven't talked to them about it.
When I say I know them, I was probably a kid and there was people that worked
around where
I live with my, and I think they did crack.
That was a rumor.
Wow.
But I don't really, I don't really know what crack does.
It's a functional, like the MyPillow guy.
He does crack?
He did it his whole building the pillows, you know?
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, so good things can come out of it still.
There are crack success stories.
Oh, yeah.
That's a good call.
You know what I'm saying?
Oh, wow.
Is that what the secret is?
It's like crack in there?
I don't know what it is.
It's like they dust a pillow with crack before they ship it.
People are like, yo, this is the best fucking pillow I've ever had in my life.
This is my pillow.
You can't have that shit.
It's like crack bae, that guy like this, you know?
He just...
There's a guy on the assembly line just like, as they pass.
No, but like crack is like, crack like, is it crack like cocaine?
Or is it like heroin?
Or is it like both?
Let's bring up a little bit of crack if you can.
Yeah.
And...
Bring up a crack rock.
Crack, I think crack was...
It hasn't been as big as it was when we were younger.
No, no, no.
When we were younger, it was like, you know, sleep, breathe, crack.
Like, it was in the black population, too.
I think they...
And I think there's documentaries, and I haven't seen this, but I believe there's
documentaries
that they believe it was unleashed on the black community or whatever.
Oh, is that right?
I don't know if it's true.
And I'm not saying that it isn't true.
I just haven't seen...
I didn't go down...
I've never gone down that...
Yeah.
But...
How do you...
Yeah, how do you make it?
Can you give me some information on it?
Yeah, what's the...
But there's a beautiful picture.
Not beautiful.
I mean, there's different images of it.
There's an assortment.
It looks like crack had a photo session.
Hold on a second.
Because those are all like how you shoot eBay items, you know?
It's not like in the wild crack.
It's like crack in a studio.
Yeah, it looks like somebody made a charcuterie board.
I bet you there's been a drug party before where it's been laid out like charcuterie.
Oh, yeah.
Like in the high-end drug parties, like in the hills and stuff?
Oh, dude, I heard...
There's a little brujette and a little bit of like...
Oh, yeah.
A little camembert.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A little Sauvignon Croix.
Like really appealing too.
Like people went to the party and they never did drugs before, but then they
were like...
Looks good though.
Oh, yeah.
They're like, oh, there's no way that crack rock doesn't go with that fig jam.
Yeah.
Fig jam is my favorite thing on that charcuterie board.
It's not always on there, but it gives you the sweetness that you need to cut
through.
Yeah.
I love a good fig jam.
You know, it's undervalued, I think.
It's kind of the...
It's underappreciated.
Yet it's costly, which is really the dichotomy about fig jam.
Oh, it's true, huh?
Probably.
Undervalued, but overpriced.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
When was the last time you had fig jam?
I think when you're saying it, when someone is...
When I've been at someone's house that has, I guess, rich or whatever, and they
have fancy
wine corkers or whatever, like that bottle the wine, like...
Yeah.
And then they'll have a charcuterie board sometimes, and...
Yeah, but I got a charcuterie board for the Super Bowl.
Oh, you did?
It had fig jam on it?
Yeah, I had fig jam on it.
Really?
But it also had jalapeno poppers on it.
It did?
No.
Well, I did have wings as well.
I had wings.
I had other things.
Normally, we'll make it, but then my lady found someone who did it.
She went to a party, and they had it, and she was like, whoa, and she got the
number,
and then we ordered it, and they bring it.
It's like on a four-foot board.
Oh.
You know?
And you know, you've got to pay a little extra for it, but for the...
It's almost a level of like how rich you're willing to be when you go down the
charcuterie
boards, because there's also different sizes.
There's the Noah's Ark.
There's the...
And you can go all the way down to like the Titanic door.
The Penta and the Santa Maria.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
There's like the Nina Penta.
Sorry.
And that's your joke, dude.
I stepped on it, but...
No, dude.
And yeah, and you can go all the way down to like Titanic door, like this small
little...
Yeah.
Don't ever let go.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You never want to let go.
Right, right, right.
But I will tell you, though, I stood there calculating how much the woman
actually paid,
like the actual wholesale cost.
Because I was like, there were some things on there that...
There are some things on there that make you go, oh, okay.
But they're like, you know, they're throughout.
But then there's also like, you know, grapes, just cheap, you know.
So I'm like looking at it and I'm like, man, I guess it's labor intensive.
I'll give her that.
Okay.
Because I felt like she probably could have got away with everything on there
for like
under 200 and it was probably like 450 or something like that.
Oh, wow.
A $450 charcuterie board?
It was like four feet.
Well, we had like 35 people.
Oh, that's fair.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
If it feeds 35, dude, I'll fucking get one of those every...
Yeah.
But then like not...
We had so much food, not everyone ate it.
And then I have like so much excess charcuterie.
And then I feel guilty because I'm like, I have to eat this.
I can't p