Name: Ed Sheeran | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #512
Uploaded: 2024-06-25T15:00:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ed Sheeran | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #512' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ed Sheeran | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #512' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-25. Transcript available.

Ed Sheeran | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #512

I have some new tour dates to tell you about. I will be in Long Beach,
California, July 10th,
Los Angeles, California, July 11th, Bethel, New York, July 31, Albany, New York
on August 1.
Get your tickets early with code RATKING starting Tuesday, June 25th at 10 a.m.
local time.
General on sale starts Wednesday, June 26th at 10 a.m. local time.
As well, we have shows in Salt Lake City, June 30th, Las Vegas, July 5th and 6th,
and Bangor, Maine, August 9th.
As well as every other city that's on the tours, everything is still all good
to go.
You can get tickets at theovahn.com slash T-O-U-R.
And thank you guys so much for the support.
Today's guest is one of the biggest musicians in the world.
He's won all the awards.
He's set attendance records everywhere.
He's celebrating the 10th anniversary of his album Multiply.
We get to catch up right here in London in his bar, Birdie Blossoms.
And I'm grateful for his time.
Today's guest is Mr. Ed Sheeran.
Shine that light on me
I'll sit and tell you my stories
Shine on me
And I will find a song
I've been singing
Who's been your least favorite guest?
Least favorite?
Oh, this guy.
He was like a money guy.
Oh, Wolf of Wall Street.
Oh, yeah.
Jordan Belfort.
Jordan Belfort.
Yeah.
I just didn't like his inner.
I don't know.
He seemed like a con artist.
And he wouldn't kind of say yes.
It was like
You watched the movie though, right?
Yeah.
He seemed like a cool con artist.
Like certainly one of the better.
You're right.
That's a good point.
I guess he's kind of like Jesse James maybe in a way.
Like one of those wild guys.
Yeah.
So what are you doing in London other than shows?
That's it, man.
Yeah.
Just came over to you guys' country to do shows, man.
I love that you flew from Manchester.
Oh, yeah.
It's like because there's a train from central Manchester into central London.
So you would have driven out of central Manchester, flown to out of central
London and then got it.
It's such a long trip.
Could have just taken an hour and a half train.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, damn.
I didn't even know that.
I know.
Life hacks.
Yeah, that's it.
Yeah.
I didn't.
Damn.
I probably would have been faster.
Way faster.
Yeah.
Way, way, way faster.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah, I'm actually, I'm genuinely feeling bad about that right now.
No, it's all right.
It's all right.
Planet's in crisis.
Is it?
More, more flights.
Yeah.
That's true.
We'll do it that way.
Good to see you today, Ed.
Nice to be here.
Nice to see you, man.
Nice to be.
Thanks for coming here as well.
Thanks for making the effort to come here.
You're welcome.
This is Bertie Bottoms.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, yeah.
Bertie Bottoms.
Bertie Bottoms.
And how do you know if the bottoms are Bertie or not?
So it's, so it's Blossoms.
It's basically.
Oh, sorry.
I'm very sorry.
My manager's wife is called Liberty.
My wife is called Cherry.
And me and my manager set this bar up and Blossom for Cherry, Bertie for
Liberty, Bertie
Blossoms.
Oh, I love it.
Yeah.
Gives us an excuse to come drink here.
Oh, yeah.
I bet.
Dude, and, but sometimes like, so is this a place where people can meet their
wife at?
Is that the kind of thing that we're?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Or, you know, husband.
Oh, yeah.
Or husband.
Yeah.
But do you have like a wife husband meeting night?
Like a night where it's like, hey, this is the like Tuesdays.
It's like spout.
All you can spouse.
Yeah.
They come in and they chuck the keys in and then it's just a massive orgy.
Well, that's, I mean, that went a little far, but yeah, I was just thinking
like, yeah,
do they at least just get to meet somebody?
Do you know what?
Like I, I, when I come here, I come in this, is this back room and that's kind
of it.
Yeah.
I don't really, I don't really know.
Maybe.
Yeah.
Maybe.
You never know.
Just kind of relax.
Yeah.
This is where like, if I'm having like a dinner or a meeting with someone, it
will usually be
back here.
You can sort of like drink what you want, smoke, stay as long as you want.
It's, it's, it's cool.
At Bertie Blossoms.
Yeah.
At Bertie Blossoms.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sorry, I got it wrong, man.
Is that right?
It's been a, yeah, some of the exchange rate on the language has been tough.
Yeah.
I liked that when I arrived, you kept calling me like, cheers, mate.
Nice mate.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
It's good.
Yeah.
I've been trying to get with it, man.
I, um, I lived in Nashville for a couple of years and I got the, I got the, the,
the
drool, I think.
Yeah.
Being there.
Yeah.
I owned a cowboy hat.
Oh wow.
I had a camouflage hoodie as well.
See, yeah, you really, did you guys hunt anything?
Do you know, I, so I lived on a,
lake for the first year and I bought a fishing rod from Walmart.
Cause I was like, I'm going to go fishing.
I'd never been fishing before.
And I sat, I threw it in.
And then after about an hour, my mate came up and was like, have you put bait
on it?
And I was like, I didn't know you were going to do that.
So I just sat with a fishing rod in the lake.
Yeah.
Oh, like a pantomime fishing.
I just assumed a fish would like swim past and catch the hook.
I don't know.
I'd never fished before.
You know, it wasn't, it wasn't something that I'd grown up doing.
You got to have, you got to put something on there.
I know that now.
Yeah.
I know that now.
Wow.
I've never heard of anybody doing that.
Would you be a child or something or a blind fella?
Well, I feel like in some ways I am quite, I feel like you, your age freezes
the age that
you become famous, I think.
So I think in some ways I am still a teenager.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, that's interesting.
Yeah.
I think it's like, and I think some creative people just grow, they kind of
grow up slow.
I feel like in a way.
Well, you sort of don't have the same, I don't know, brutal life lessons, I
guess.
When I was like, I moved to London when I was like 17 and you, I was having
regular brutal
life lessons of just like, no, this is what the real world is.
And then I think when you, I, you know, started doing well about 20, about 19,
20.
And then you, you sort of like, if you make a mistake, it's, it's kind of all
right.
You know, you're not, you don't have like the brutal real life lesson, I guess.
What do you mean like when you're doing, when life is, when you have like a
success and stuff
going on, is that what you mean kind of or?
Well, yeah.
I mean, you will know this with, with comedy, like a brutal life lesson of like,
it's not
going to be easy as bombing or playing to an empty room or blah, blah, blah,
blah.
That kind of stops happening when you have success.
There's definitely, you have peaks and troughs in your career where people are
more interested
or less interested, but you don't have the like, I don't know.
I don't think you have as many normal life lessons.
You still get quite abnormal life lessons, I think, because in the sort of
celebrity sphere,
it can be quite abnormal, but you don't have the like, I don't know, regular
stuff.
Yeah.
Does that make sense?
Yeah, I think it does, dude.
I don't, I am the worst person to ask if something makes sense or not, to be
honest with you.
I, yeah, every time people ask.
My mates are so excited that I'm doing this today, by the way.
Who is?
All of my friends.
Oh, really?
Yeah, the guy that, there's a guy living at our house at the moment, and he was
like
trying to get off work to just come down and just say hi.
Oh, and just mill around?
Like a loitering, they call it.
Yeah, yeah.
I think you guys, loitering must be a British thing, huh?
Because we wouldn't say that, loitering.
What would you say?
We'd be like, oh yeah, stalking.
Well, stalking is more like once you've loitered and you see something in the
window, you know?
You see something, you see a bit of tits in the distance or something.
Yeah.
But yeah, that's stalking.
Yeah, yeah.
And then it's breaking and entering, you know?
And then it's marriage, usually.
If you have a way with words, I think.
But yeah, I think.
Are you married?
Loitering sounds very British.
No, no, I'm not married.
I would like to be, kind of.
I guess you have to loiter more for that to happen, right?
Yeah, I need a little bit more loitering.
Yeah, yeah.
I need to bring the binoculars, you know?
Maybe bring a Red Bull.
That's the loiterer you've got to really be aware of.
The Red Bull loiterer.
It's just standing there with a red bull.
Small sips.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, small sips.
I don't know.
I haven't had Red Bull in years, man.
Oh, probably good for you.
Yeah.
Yeah, there was a time when I was doing like loads and loads of like breakfast
TVs and radios and
stuff like that.
It used to be those massive monster drinks.
When you were touring, like to get your singles out there and stuff like that?
You used to kind of like have to turn up at like 3.30 a.m. to a German weather
program
to play 30 seconds of your new singles.
So like those stages, yeah.
Chance of rain, but chance of Ed Sheeran first.
I remember so clearly playing.
I got up at like, they were doing it in some like theme park in the middle of
Germany and
it was just obviously empty because it was like 4 a.m.
Yeah, they love their theme parks there.
And I start playing on this thing, on this weather program.
And then I can see the credits rolling underneath me like 10 seconds in.
And I'm like, am I the fucking play out music?
And then they just stopped it.
So I played 10 seconds of my new single, basically.
Oh, God.
Germany was a tough market for me for a while.
And then the egg was cracked and now we're good.
You'd think they'd take a look at you and be like, oh, he could be one of us,
you know?
I feel like you look like a closet German.
Is that fair to say to somebody?
I don't even know.
I'm just loitering.
No, I think, I think, well, the red hair is more Celtic.
So I'd say either Scottish or Irish or like the Norwegians, I think would look
at me and
be like, you're one of, there's some Viking.
You've got a bit of Viking in you.
We'll take them.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I might have a little bit.
Like you'll see me in like the frozen food area, kind of like in the store, you
know?
I'll mill about in there, you know, kind of like, you know, what's your
background heritage?
Have you got European?
I'm Polish.
Yeah.
Nicaraguan.
Right.
Oh, my dad was from Nicaragua.
His parents met down there and he was born there.
And then my mother, I don't know, dude, but wherever she's from, they have some
real one
of a kind type ladies.
Do you have rage in you?
Are you, are you, are you an angry guy?
You seem a very chill guy.
Can you, can you have an argument with someone?
Oh yeah, I don't know if I have an argument.
I like have kind of trouble processing my feelings.
So I'm like that.
I'm always like the start and stop with, you know, I'm like the guy who like
can't get like
the gear shift to work or something.
You're watching that guy drive, you know, I'm like a student driver.
Yeah.
Yeah.
When it comes to my feelings, do they have student drivers here?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I didn't learn to drive until I was 24.
Cause like, but as I said, with the train thing, public transport here is
actually really,
really good.
So I never learned to drive.
And then mate on my first driving test.
So I'd learned, I was learned to drive for like eight, eight months.
And on the first test, I failed cause I was going around a roundabout and my
mom called
me to see if I passed the test.
And I just quickly took it and like canceled the call.
And then the driving instructor was just like, you've just failed the test for
that.
And she was ringing to see if I'd done well past.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
I failed.
God, dude.
That's when you got to just, yeah.
That's kind of the time I'm glad my mom didn't care that much.
Yeah.
You know, because yeah, I passed.
You probably, but Americans can drive from like 16, right?
But they shouldn't all be allowed to drive.
And do you think American drivers, man?
Like when I'm over there, I'm like, this is fucking sketchy.
They drive to kill.
Yeah.
They drive to kill.
I sort of feel like here we have to learn how to like parallel park 