Name: Jessie Murph | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #525
Uploaded: 2024-08-16T13:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jessie Murph | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #525' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jessie Murph | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #525' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-16. Transcript available.

Jessie Murph | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #525

i have some new tour dates i want to tell you about we will be in lafayette louisiana
thanksgiving
weekend on november 29 at the cajun dome baby down there in poirier country and
we will also
be in baumont texas on november 30 at doggett ford park arena we will also be
in las vegas nevada
at the lsu usc opening weekend of football august 30th and 31st bend oregon spokane
washington portland oregon vancouver bc in the canada oklahoma city oklahoma
north little rock
springfield missouri kansas city missouri sioux falls south dakota lacrosse wisconsin
green bay wisconsin
and moline illinois you can get all your tickets at theovan.com slash t-o-u-r
and uh thank you so
much for supporting uh live comedy and our show we've got new merch check out
the return of the rat
tie-dye tees available in green and uh purple we also have the be good to
yourself collection gang gang
hoodies and more at theo von store.com thank you for your support today's guest
is a singer songwriter
from huntsville alabama uh her rise over the last few years has been incredible
to watch uh she has a
new album coming out asap and a single called dirty is already released
featuring teddy swims we talk about
all of that and a lot more i'm a fan and i'm grateful to spend time today with
jesse murph
Shine that light on me. I'll sit and tell you my stories. Shine on me. And I
will find a song I've been singing just before.
Hair's kind of vibing today, dude. You're having a good hair day. What do you
do to it? Huh? What do you do to it? You volumize it? I mean, does that mean
not wash it as much? No, that's not what that means. Oh, it isn't? You don't
got some powder or something. Oh, you know, I don't put no damn powder in my
hair. You have a hair routine. The Lord does my hair while I sleep. So when I
wake up, it's just. That's such a dude thing. What is? The Lord doing your hair
while you sleep. Oh, well, look. It works.
it works now some men they wake up and it's just not that you know i think it's
the lord missed
them or he left them too long in the um i think so in the what's that thing
that they put on women
did you ever go to the hair salon with your mom and they would put that thing
on her yeah they
still do it do they really do that to everybody not just mom yeah whatever that
thing my mom
sometimes like if it was gonna be like easter or something she would take us
yeah she would take us
some to this nice place it was called the looking glass salon wow and where at
this was in louisiana
covington louisiana and it was nice like when you open the door it had like a
little bell on it or
whatever oh that's how you know it's a good one well you just knew that they
meant business in there
you go under one of those uh sometimes i would sneak in while my mom's hair was
under it and i put my
hands in there it feels nice no yeah and i thought it felt pretty cool and it
just made me feel like
i'm gonna be somebody someday you should go you should do that you should go
now yeah i feel like
you have long enough hair to where it'll like it'll do something to get it done
yeah is that your hair
yes all of it yeah wow i bet horses get jealous probably some of them think so
yeah i hope so
uh jesse murph thanks for coming in thanks for having me i'm excited i'm happy
that you're here
i'm a big fan you know that yeah right yeah i mean i love like i don't know
like the album names and
stuff but um i went what was the tour i saw you in boston i think it was during
drowning maybe yeah
yeah and was it wow yeah long time and i even bought a shirt and i was gonna
say and i saved
it to wear if you ever came in you didn't wear it and it's in nashville that's
up dude i only bought
one it's up but uh but that's okay um what's going on how's your day my day's
good yeah no it's been a
good day it has not much has happened how's your day going uh my day is pretty
chill what happened we
did a podcast this morning and um yeah might go get a massage after this or go
to dinner you should
yeah and yeah that's about it really you get massages a lot i do they're good
for the soul yeah
they really are huh i think having somebody taught you that's not trying to
like that's not sus that's
not yeah trying to be a pervert depends on the massage you're getting the
places i go i tell
them immediately when i go in there do not you really do that oh i tell them
straight up i say
yeah because i feel like you have to i just don't i want to i want clear
communication between me and
anybody that's touching my body i feel like but like because here's what
happened should you be doing
that though i don't do it what getting massages no i don't tell them that oh
you don't you're just
taking a risk should i be telling them i mean i think i think you preface it
like hey guys i'm just
here for the massage especially if i was a girl i feel like i would really even
if it's another girl
you think so these days yeah because some of the girls are even so strong and
you don't know
you don't know who who's who's you don't know who's who now i'm nervous no but
i will tell
them straight up because here's what happened one time i was in the massage
like sometimes they have
like that little chair where they put your face down have you seen that thing
so i was in there
the ladies massaging me a guy comes in um this was like at a strip mall in tennessee
and a guy comes in and he's talking to the woman and he asks her if they do
like happy endings or
whatever damn like a client yes and i felt like i cannot believe this guy's
asking this and the lady's
like no he's doing your massage yes okay okay the late and i was like tell him
no you know i'm just
like because i don't know how experienced she is or whatever and then um yeah
she's like no and then
the guy got you know he i think he felt a little embarrassed and then he left
uh but anyway that's
why ever since then i go in i say and if if we have a language barrier i'll
even draw you draw
how do you draw it what do you draw well i'll draw like kind of a human body
okay and then i'll draw
kind of like the the middle area how long would you say this is taking you like
how long well you know
for me it takes a little while to draw it and then i'll put a big x over the
middle that's what you do
yes if the i can see it if the language is if there's a language that makes
sense yeah i can't
judge you for that thank you yeah because i want i want them to know straight
up i'm here
so that when we both when i leave we both feel cool but not strange and that's
respectful of you
thank you i get it yeah that's where we are um you've like had so much success
at your age
pretty crazy crazy are there moments where it's like i wish um because i i don't
think people
realize like a lot of people think like oh i would like to have popularity i
would like to have fame i
would like to have some celebrity you know but then once that kind of comes it's
real and you can't
like put it back in the box you know do you ever have moments where like gosh
this is a lot and it's
like and it's gonna be here to stay probably you know yeah i mean definitely i
think it i'm sure
you have to say it just gets a little overwhelming sometimes yeah but yeah i
don't know yeah because
i mean it's kind of crazy no it is crazy yeah it's and it's so different from
how i like grew up and how
everything that i saw when i was younger is so it's just like a very different
it's an adjustment for sure
yeah yeah a lot of people don't know you are for you're from huntsville alabama
yeah since that
rocket you have like the most trajectory out of huntsville you think so i think
so since that you
know the rocket that's by the interstate i know the rocket everybody knows how
do you know about
the rocket look honey you got you drive through there and then people are like
have you seen the
rocket it's the thing yeah yeah did you go uh i don't know i think we pulled
over one time that's the
rocket yeah once was kind of a cool place you don't realize i feel like it's
the next lexington kind of
you think so yeah i think because there's a lot of odd diversity there it's
like i mean i don't know
would you think it was like growing up did you feel like it was just the sticks
no huntsville no i
feel like that's a city yeah but i did live in this place called athens alabama
and that was the sticks
yeah yeah it's like 45 outside of there 45 minutes outside of huntsville have i
been athens alabama yeah no
man don't go what uh athens is the city of the county seat of limestone county
that's we're from
limestone county yeah well i was born in huntsville but i lived here during
like middle school and high
school so formative years yeah very formative you know um did you guys have
like school dances and
stuff over there i yeah yeah i think so did you have the one where the girl has
to ask the boy no why
would you think that because some schools have them like in the south they have
sadie hawkins yeah oh my
god yes we had this i went to that you're so right yeah that's a really fun one
yeah anything you want
to know about yourself just ask me i um but you had to ask a boy yeah i guess i
did damn do you
remember like do you're like um we did have that oh my god that has brought up
so many memories oh yeah
because the girl had to buy the shirt dude and i remember i'd be at school and
it would be like the
day the girl was going to give you the shirt and you'd be sure what shirt are
you talking about oh because
girls and boys had to have matching shirts for sadie hawkins dance oh we had
different titty
hawkins oh really what was yours like the girl you had to get a matching shirt
and the girl would buy
it but then you had to meet her at school the day she would give you the shirt
you know she'd call
you the night before and she'd be like my my mom got us shirts and you're like
all right you don't
know what the shirt is no you're just nervous anyway because you're just kind
of nervous to be around
girls and it's like junior high or whatever and then she'd get you'd like meet
her for like um and you'd get the
shirt and you were just so nervous i feel like were you like a nervous were you
nervous like in junior
high and stuff like where were you like a little bit maybe i don't know it
depends on situation i
feel you like that's a scary situation right yeah um like you remember the
first time a guy had to
like ask you to a dance or anything like that i don't know i didn't go to many
dances really yeah
no i wasn't much of a dancer well yeah i didn't go because i was a dancer like
a dancer like going oh
you didn't go okay i think i went to one like sixth grade or something okay but
yeah okay so you're
growing up around there you're not dancing what are you doing over there did
you have a first job over
there somewhere no i did i did track though i did cheer you did track yeah what'd
you do huh i played
basketball with a couple of brothers to bring it up again man when you get it
um you did track because
track is sort of a that's me right there damn wait which one this picture's
faded out number 34.
okay it's really yeah and i'll tell you this mr don on our team who was the
same age as me people
called him mr don he had two children he was a power forward wow how old are
you probably
high school you were 13 in high school ball and that's crazy yeah yeah um so
what were you doing over
there then um just yeah sports i don't know what did you do when you were
growing up yeah i don't know
either i guess just like the normal things yeah that's normal stuff i guess
what would you guys
do for fun in your town like in our town sometimes like when we got into high
school we would meet
outside of the um michael's craft store parking lot yeah and people would go do
stuff okay yeah so
similar walmart walmart really yeah but i don't know you didn't really want to
go there really yeah
it was like ratchet did y'all have like different parking lots for different
like
oh like this parking lot is this vibe like this one's ratche