Name: Kevin Smith | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #531
Uploaded: 2024-09-17T18:18:25.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Kevin Smith | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #531' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-09-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Kevin Smith | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #531' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-09-17. Transcript available.

Kevin Smith | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #531

All right, I've got new tour dates to let you know about Oklahoma City, North
Little Rock,
Springfield, Missouri, Kansas City, Missouri, Sioux Falls, South Dakota, La Crosse,
Wisconsin,
Green Bay, Moline, Illinois, Colorado Springs, Colorado, Casper, Wyoming. I'm
excited to get up
there. Billings, Montana, Missoula, Montana, Bloomington, Indiana, Columbus,
Ohio, Champaign,
Illinois, Grand Rapids, Michigan, Lafayette, Louisiana, and Beaumont, Texas.
All tickets
available through theovon.com slash T-O-U-R. Make sure to go through there so
you are getting
directly priced tickets. Make sure you're not at a secondhand site. And thank
you so much for your
support. We're excited to come visit. Today's guest is a filmmaker, writer,
speaker, comic book
aficionado. You know him from his films, Clerks, Mallrats, Jay and Silent Bob,
Dogma, Tusk, and the
list goes on. He has a new film out now called The 430 Movie, loosely based on
his childhood in New
Jersey. I'm thankful to spend time today with Mr. Kevin Smith.
Shrine that light on me. I'll sit and tell you my stories. Shine on me. And I
will find a song I've been singing.
I love this guy.
Sharp. Yeah, look at me. I'm in fucking monochrome. Is that what that print is?
Black and white. Oh, monochrome is black and white. Okay, sweet. Yeah, I didn't
know that. I mean, I've heard of it before.
Fuck yeah, you have. But, yeah. You're a smart guy.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, okay. Yeah, I'm not a dumb. Yeah, I mean, I'm. Yeah, don't fucking, don't
sweat. You knew monochrome. It's just one of those things you didn't need. And
then it happened. And then you're like, why didn't I? But you did.
Yeah. Yeah. I've seen you speak. You're no dummy. Yeah, it was always in there
somewhere. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Probably used it. You probably busted it once or
twice in your life.
Oh, I've definitely, I mean, I've been involved in some like, it's not race. It's
like the most racial of screens if it's monochrome, right? It's black and white
kind of. It's the, it's the apartheid of print.
Yeah. I scream it when I come. I'm like, monochrome. Because Clerks was in
black and white.
Yeah.
So everything ties back to Clerks. Only Clerks, the only way I could come now
is thinking of Clerks.
Well, I love the mall rat shoes, man. Those are so, that's, I mean, that's
really cool.
Did we start?
Yeah, we'll start. Who made those?
Are we started?
Yeah, we can. Is that okay?
Yeah, that's totally cool. Modern podcasting, I've not gotten that hang of.
Like, we started back in like 2007. We were doing Smodcast.
Smodcast, yeah.
And there was always like, welcome to Smodcast. I'm Kevin Smith. I'm Scott Mosher.
So there was an official beginning.
But lately, any podcast I've been on, you're just bullshitting. And all of a
sudden, you're five minutes into a conversation. I'm like, oh, I bet you we
started and shit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, sometimes it's like, I think sometimes, some places,
things are a little more formal. I don't know. Sometimes I feel like if you
start, if I say start, then it doesn't go as, I don't know. I mean, you're a
director. What is that like? If you say, is it?
Well, it depends who you ask. I like to think of a director, but you go on the
internet, they'll tell you a lot fucking different.
He was a director maybe once in his fucking first movie. Every day online,
somebody tells me I'm terrible at my job. For the last, like, 30 years that I've
been doing the job. You know what that's like.
Yeah.
What were you? Maybe you don't. You're like, I've never gotten a bad fucking
review. Do you dig into your comments?
Yeah, no, we don't, I don't dig into too much, man. I was actually talking, um,
Joe Rogan. I spoke with him recently and he was saying, don't read the good
shit. Don't read the bad shit.
Bro. Are we going to start dropping names this early? Sorry. I mean, you just
whipped that out like a cock. Yeah. Like fucking, who are you? Louis CK? I wasn't
ready for that. All of a sudden we're talking Joe Rogan and shit.
No, that's, are you a Joe Rogan guy? Like, are you guys tight and whatnot? Um,
I haven't been on a show since he moved to Austin. Not because I'm like, fuck
him, but Austin's pretty fucking far. But wait a second.
Yeah, it's far.
What? Why are we here? Like, I thought you were a Nashville person. Yeah, I
live in Nashville. Yeah. But we can, we have, we, we kept our studio here. And
so sometimes we tape here.
So you live in, do you live in Nashville? I live in Tennessee. Yeah. Full time.
We're in Tennessee. I live just like right outside of the city. I live kind of
by like Lipscomb high school.
So you live near Nashville. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I fuck with Tennessee a lot. They
like us there quite a bit. Like I was just in Kingsport because we did the Smoky
Mountain Fan Fest. And then like a month before that, I was in, uh, Knoxville.
Like anytime I go out and do shows, that's generally a place that I've always
wound up. I was in, can I tell you a fucking story real quick? So I was in
recently, I was in Kentucky. I went and did a show in Lexington. Lexington is
awesome. Beautiful. Right. So I'm, I, you know, when I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm vegan.
I hate saying that because everyone's like, fuck you. Now I'm eating twice as
much meat. And I'm like, all right, that's on you. Yeah. People don't get tight,
but I want vegan because I almost being stomach gay or whatever.
They, they, I, I, I, I, uh, had a heart attack six and a half years ago. So I
wound up going vegan and it helped used to be happy. Now I'm fucking vegan. So
it's just part of, you know, it's just what I do, but I don't try to push it on
people and shit like that.
Like when I started smoking weed back in the day, I was definitely like proselytizing
for that. Like, oh my God, you should try this. Veganism. I don't proselytize
for it because people get really triggered by the word. Now, if somebody is
like, Hey man, how'd you lose that fucking weight? Or, you know, some people
have been like, you fucking Olympic bitch.
I'm like, no, fuck. I, I, I went vegan after my heart attack. That's how the
weight went away. Not because like, you know, I, I necessarily tried, although
I do now fucking walk over 10,000 steps a day, but you know, I, I was like, I,
I don't want to die.
So let me try this. And I thought I'd do it for a few months and then go back.
And then I never went back being vegan. You mean? Yeah. Yeah. Can you still
have houseplants if you're a vegan or is that like a weird? Absolutely. Number
one, I, I, I'm sure I am on some left level, an ethical vegan who should think
about that. Like I, I do love animals. So I'm sure that's some part of why it's
easy for me to be vegan, but I was not one of those, like I'm doing it because
it's the right thing to do.
I did it to save my fucking life and it worked out and shit. So even if I like,
you know, it was like, fuck a houseplant, I'd, I'd still go vegan. Yeah. Where
are you going with that houseplant thing though?
Oh, I just didn't know if you were like a plant, if you only eat, cause vegan
means you can only eat plants.
It's the idea that, well, I'm plant-based. Okay. So it's the idea that if I can't
have a plant-based cause I'm like, well, this is my friend, but I'm going to
eat them.
Well, it would just seem like they would catch on. It'd be like having a fish
tank and eating, being a person that eats fish.
Yeah. And being a pescatarian.
Pescatarian.
Yeah. Yeah. I guess I was like, at some point they're going to catch on. You
know what I'm saying? They're going to be like, this guy's playing both sides
of the net.
And the plants are going to start leaning more out and shit, get defensive.
That's where the Venus flytrap came from. A plant that was like, I must defend
myself against a vegan.
That was one of the first craziest movies that I ever heard when I was a kid.
Little Shop of Horrors?
Yeah. Little Shop of Horrors. It was like a weird movie.
Musical about like a Venus flytrap behind it.
Yeah.
The Audrey 2.
And it had a plant that could bite people.
Plant came from outer space though.
Oh, that's right.
You didn't lose a lot of sleep over it, did you?
No, I didn't. I wasn't. I don't think it scared me. It was just interesting. It
was like a little bit before my time.
Like, we didn't, I don't know if I've ever seen it.
I saw this shit on Off-Broadway because I grew up like on the East Coast.
Oh, you saw the musical?
Yeah, like on stage and shit before it became this musical, which was awesome
as well.
Oh, before it became a movie?
Yeah, yeah.
Wow. So it was a big musical first.
It was.
Off-Broadway hit.
And that was a big-ass puppet like on stage.
Yeah, there's a picture of it right there, I guess.
Well, yeah, kind of. There's on stage the ones to the right in that one picture
that looks like the stage show.
Oh, I forgot. Like, again, modern podcast, you guys like have a screen and you
spend an inordinate amount of time looking at images and videos and shit.
That was something that never occurred to us in 2007.
Yeah, you just had to use your imagination.
Well, we just talked to each other.
And there was also no real video component.
Like, that was the attraction of doing the podcast is like, I can just fucking
do it dressed like however I am.
It was like voicing animation or something.
Yeah.
But y'all have gotten it down to fucking science.
Like, you know, when I went to Tom Segura's place, fucking, well, Joe, of
course, and Bert, all y'all have free drinks.
Yeah.
Like, I was just out there and they're like, you want water?
And that's kind of standard.
And I was like, oh, yeah, I'll be like, or would you like Celsius?
I was like, what do you mean?
And there's a fucking Celsius cooler out there.
Yeah.
That is stock.
It's more stock than a 7-Eleven.
Whose fucking dick are you sucking to get that much Celsius, man?
Oh, dude.
And what am I doing wrong, Theo?
Yeah, I don't know.
Like, how come I don't have...
You're sucking being vegan?
It can be.
Okay.
You just don't swallow the meat.
Okay.
You know what I'm saying?
You put it in your mouth, you just don't swallow it.
Why on earth can I get this fucking podcast thing down to a science?
I'm doing it.
But you were one of the...
I mean, you were one of the early guys in it.
Do you know what?
Here's where I thought...
And I've said this on other podcasts, so we'll do other things and shit.
Vaughn would.
That's awesome.
Like, I thought I was so smart because I was like, oh, we'll do all these
podcasts and we'll give them out for free.
And then when I'm in their town doing a live show, that's when they'll buy a
ticket because they've gotten all this free.
And that was how I was like, and that's how we'll make money on podcasting.
So that was your strategy from the beginning, you're saying?
That was my generation.
I mean, it wasn't even my strategy.
It was just like, really, it just started because I was like, this is fucking
fun.
And me and Moser sitting around, like, goofing off and having a microphone on
fun conversations appealed to me.
We always take snapshots of people and whatnot.
There are pictures to memorialize a moment, capture a moment.
But nobody ever really records a conversation and shit, a normal conversation.
If you're on TV, sure.
So that's why I loved podcasts and the idea of doing that shit.
And then one day, we had a lot of people listening to podcasts and they were
like...
My business manager was like, you got a bill for a thing called a server?
And it was, like, really high.
And I was like, what the fuck is this?
And it turns out podcasting is free for everybody but the fucking podcaster.
Particularly if people watch the podcast and shit.
So we were hosting on our own server.
So we had to figure out, like, all right, what the fuck?
How do we pay for this?
And I was like, well, we could do it live.
We could start doing live shows.
But even before that, like, I remember, like, we were...
It was so primitive when we were reverse engineering going, like, what did they
do in the early days of TV?