Name: Sen. JD Vance | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #540
Uploaded: 2024-10-22T14:01:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Sen. JD Vance | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #540' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Sen. JD Vance | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #540' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-22. Transcript available.

Sen. JD Vance | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #540

We have some upcoming tour dates there in Colorado Springs in Colorado, Casper,
Wyoming, Billings, Montana, and Missoula, Montana, Bloomington, Indiana,
Columbus, Ohio, Champaign, Illinois over there in the Fighting Illini area,
Grand Rapids, Michigan, Lafayette, Louisiana, and Beaumont, Texas.
You can get all your tickets at Theovan.com slash T-O-U-R, and thank you so
much for the support.
I want to start by saying that we have reached out to Governor Walz and Vice
President Harris, and we would love to have them in studio as well.
Today's guest is a senator from the state of Ohio.
He's currently on the Republican ticket for Vice President.
He's a Yale graduate.
He's a Marine.
He's an author.
He wrote the book Hillbilly Elegy.
I've read about half of it, and I'm really grateful to spend time with him
today to discuss some issues and get to know him.
Today's guest is Mr. J.D. Vance.
But then it starts to become more interesting, like the last woman we had on
trains cats around the country.
Really?
With a traveling cat circus, yeah.
That's pretty amazing.
So that's who you're following up, you know?
That's right.
That's way more interesting than a politician, man.
Just so you know where you are, you know, Mr. Vance.
Call me J.D., please.
Just so you know where you are, J.D., in the existence of things.
J.D. Vance, thanks for coming in today, man.
Yeah, man.
It's good to be here.
I really appreciate it.
I just went to Lambeau Field the other day.
You ever been there?
I don't think I ever have been to Lambeau Field, but I think I'm going to Lambeau
Field tomorrow.
Nuh-uh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm pretty sure.
I mean, running for vice president, you never know where you are day to day,
but I'm pretty
sure we're going to the Packers game tomorrow.
Wow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Dude, it was so good.
Did you have fun?
It's amazing.
Yeah.
We just went.
I had a show there the night on a Saturday night, last Saturday, so we just got
to go do
a tour.
Okay.
But yeah, it's just so wild.
You drive into this, you know, it's a small city and you're like, wait, there's
an NFL
team here.
It doesn't make sense really.
Yeah.
Like the NFL team in some ways, right?
I mean, the Packers are so popular, but no, I'm looking forward to going.
I mean, it's kind of like a political rite of passage because like I have a guy
served
with the Senate, Ron Johnson, really good dude.
He's a senator.
He's a senator.
From Wisconsin.
From Wisconsin.
And he's just talking about like, you know, you go to, you do the tailgate
thing at Lambeau
Field if you're running for office in Wisconsin and Wisconsin is like a big
battleground state.
Yeah.
So I'm going to go and check it out.
We're bringing our kids with us actually, which I don't know what we're going
to do with
our kids because they're seven, four, and two.
I don't think they're going to be that into a tailgate.
Filling with cheese, dude.
You know what I'm saying?
So maybe my wife will take them somewhere and I'll go like have fun at the tailgate,
but I'm looking forward to it because I'm a pretty big football fan.
Yeah.
Lambeau Field is like, you know.
Oh yeah.
When we saw it, oh, I didn't know what to do when we saw it.
I didn't know.
Yeah.
Like, and there was some kids were crying and stuff and the parents were like
kind of wiping
their cheeks with cheese or whatever, but it was like, yeah, it was really
interesting.
But wait, they were crying because they were so excited to be at Lambeau Field.
They were crying.
I, I, so are you, are you a big football guy?
Yeah.
Okay.
So I'm a big college football guy.
Yeah.
I'm more of a college football guy, but I, I like both.
Um, so I'm an Ohio state guy.
Went to Ohio state, you know, born and raised in Ohio.
Um, but you know, there, there's like the Ohio state mission rivalries, one of
the big, big
rivalries.
And this happens of course, after, um, after the election.
So I'm hoping to go to the game, but you talk about like a kid crying at a
football field.
This is, this reminds me of a story is like one of my, my dear friends.
And he's like, otherwise a nice guy, but Ohio state, Michigan just turns into a,
he turns
into a total animal.
So this is 2006.
Who is he?
The Senator you're talking about?
No, no, no.
It was totally different guy.
This is a buddy I've known since I was like five years old.
Okay.
Just a guy back home.
We go to the Ohio state, Michigan game, uh, we're number one, they're number
two.
I think we win that game like 42, 39 is very, very tight game.
I don't remember the exact score and we're leaving and there's this family and
this kid
is like, you know, there, it's a family of Michigan fans and this kid is crying
and you
know, my buddy goes up to him and he, you know, I'm like, Oh, you know, Bill's
going
to be like sweet to this family.
Like, welcome to Ohio.
Glad you guys come to the game.
Sorry.
It didn't work out.
And, and my buddy goes, Oh, are you, are you sad that Michigan lost?
And the little boy goes, yeah.
And he says, well, maybe next time you won't root for a team that sucks.
And I was like, Oh shit, Bill, uh, we should try to be nicer to the new car.
But then like you realize that that's actually not a concierge.
No, no, but that's why Ohio state and Michigan hate each other.
Right.
Cause that kid was probably nine years old.
So this is 2006.
I mean, he's, I don't know, close to 25 now.
He probably still remembers that asshole from Ohio state when he was crying
after a game.
And like, that's what makes the rivalry.
And now that kid is Tom Brady.
That's right.
Exactly.
That's how it gets done.
Oh dude.
I remember the craziest thing I ever saw was there was a Mexican father and son
bawling,
crying when the rock came back one night at WWE standing there together, same
height,
uh, that's a bawling crying.
And it was, they both had belts on and it was like, yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, those are, it's like the little rituals that, that actually make life
worth it, man.
Oh yeah.
But definitely, I mean, like, like, like my son, he's seven now, but I took him
to the
Ohio state, Michigan game.
I think the last, well, I took, I took him to the game last year, but then we,
you know,
we watch it even when he's like four years old and, uh, Michigan has beat Ohio
state the
last three years.
And so it's just like, you know, the first time I ever saw my kid cry over
sports event
was last year at the Ohio state, Michigan game.
When they beat them.
When, when, when Michigan beat Ohio state.
Yeah.
Oh, when you cry, when your team wins, that means something is probably, you
have parenting
issues in your home.
You know, that's definitely right.
That's definitely right.
But I mean, it's, it's like, I mean, Ohio state just lost to Oregon a couple,
you know,
like a week ago, I guess.
And you sort of realize, like, I get so much joy out of watching sports and
like taking my
son to the Ohio state mission games.
Like one of the coolest moments of my life as a father, but then it almost
always ends
in heartbreak.
Yeah.
Right.
Cause only one team actually wins the championship.
And I, I, I sometimes wonder like, why do we put ourselves through this?
It's so true that such that it is, yeah.
At a certain point, you're the odds are you're going to face not feeling great.
Yeah.
That it's going to end.
Right.
Yeah.
I mean, like, I guess the one team in my lifetime, like the bulls in the nineties,
Chicago bulls
in the nineties and the Patriots, when they had the Brady Belichick run, like
most of
the time, you're actually happy if you're a fan of that team.
But I mean, like I'm a Bengals fan, um, in, in pro sports and like they made
the super
bowl a few years ago and it was so cool.
Yeah.
I remember that against 49ers, uh, wasn't it against the 49ers?
It's funny.
I don't even remember who they were playing against, but I remember they lost
at the very
end.
It was a very close game.
We almost put it off, but then it's like all the joy turned into complete
sadness.
Like I'm, I'm a grown man on the verge of tears because a fucking sports team
that I
root for lost a game.
Like wake, you know, wake up, man.
I think I, I wonder what it is.
Maybe it's just like, sorry, I just don't say the F word or no, it's okay.
Make sure people will still vote for me.
If I too many F bombs, I'm going to lose too many votes.
So I'll try to tone it down.
Okay.
Yeah.
If you say more than seven or eight, I'll tap you on the shoulder.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Dude.
Oh, I, well, actually my ribs, dude, I've been on a, um, like,
almost like just on bed rest the past, like eight days, because I, I was at the
Vanderbilt game when they beat Alabama, um, two weeks ago.
That was a big one.
And some guy, I don't even know him.
I got a little bit of a look at him and he squeezed me so hard.
He kept squeezing me.
And I was like, don't squeeze me anymore.
And then he squeezed me even more.
And you could hear, you could hear my ribs.
Like, dude, they really like the oxygen leaving your lungs.
Yeah.
Please don't go.
That's all.
I love you.
Ribs.
It had never been away from it.
Like they were leaving home for the first time.
But was he squeezing you?
Cause he was happy.
He was happy.
Okay.
So this wasn't like, uh, so I was smiling, dude.
My smile hit.
I mean, the more he squeezed my, the edges of my smile, you could hear him ding
against my
earlobes.
He squeezed me as much as somebody could be squeezed.
His wife is not doing well.
If that guy has a wife, I'll tell you that because that anyway, my ribs, I've
been having
to ice them, dude.
It's been, it's been miserable.
So you may have like actually cracked a rib.
I mean, it's so.
It sucks, but it was awesome.
But it's like, yeah, the pain you go through to be associated with it, you know?
I mean, look, my, my, so, um, like I, I've only been to the game in Ann Arbor
once and,
uh, you know, Ohio state fans, again, Oh, is it weird going up in that
territory?
People throwing beer bottles at us, sometimes full beer cans at us.
I had some kid run up.
He was like a 19 year old kid run up from behind me.
And it had been raining a lot that day.
And he had like, like he'd taken a chunk of mud out of the ground.
And shoved it in my mouth.
I mean, this, again, this is like what these sports rivalries are built around
is, is moments
like this.
But, uh, we, we had, we had, I guess, won four years in a row.
That's reforestation, isn't it?
That's right.
Uh, but man, we, we'd won four years in a row.
And, uh, this, this girl, she's like, you know, 22 years old.
She gets in my buddy's face and she said, this is my senior year.
You ruined my college career because you guys beat us four years in a row.
And then she takes a swing at them and a cop tackles this 22 year old girl down
the bleachers.
And I'm just, you know, like, man, again, yeah.
People get injured.
People get injured at sporting events.
It's crazy.
Oh yeah.
I thought that for a second, I thought you were describing a wedding in Appalachia.
That's what I thought for a second.
We've had, we've had, we've had, we've had, we've had some of those too.
I'm just joking.
I'm just joking.
Um, we had Billy strings and he's a guy who does a lot of, uh, picking.
He does like a lot of guitar picking.
Oh, that's cool.
Okay.
He talked a lot about, um, his environment where he grew up.
He grew up in like his area had a lot of addiction and stuff like that.
What part of West Virginia is he from?
Um, oh, he's from Lansing, Michigan, but he grew up, he grew up in Kentucky.
I'm ruining it.
Well, but a lot of people, this is like the story of my life.
And a lot of people from Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, their families are all
from West Virginia,
East Kentucky, East Tennessee.
And then they moved up for the factory jobs.
Oh yeah.
Like there's a really cool song by Dwight Yocum called a reading, writing route
23.
And it's like, in some ways it's like the story of my family.
Um, because he came from like two counties over, he moved to central Ohio
instead of
Southern Ohio.
But, um, I mean, it's like millions of people.
It w