Name: Joe Rogan | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #554
Uploaded: 2025-01-11T20:59:20.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #554' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #554' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-11. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #554

we have some tour dates coming up we have east lansing michigan eugene oregon
victoria bc in
the canada college station belton texas san antonio oxford mississippi down
there out of
fayetteville arkansas tuscaloosa alabama that's roll tide country tallahassee
florida nashville
tennessee there in the home city winnipeg in the canada and calgary as well in
the canada get all
your tickets at theovahn.com slash t-o-u-r and just thank you for um supporting
live comedy
and supporting uh the return of the rat tour today's guest is a stand-up
comedian he's a ufc
commentator uh he is the biggest podcaster in the world uh i am thankful for
him and jamie
for welcoming me here um the first half of this episode was on his channel
and the second half of the episode is here now um today's guest is the powerful
joe rogan
i've been speaking thanks man nice to see you bro good to see you too yeah man
we had a fun time we
were just talking about how if we had a camera on us when we were in vegas
having dinner a couple weeks
ago that one night but we were so silly we were dying after ufc dying your
buddies were there one of them
there was pro um pool pool players yes yeah jeremy jones and carl boys and they
were they had been
swimming in a pool of beer they've been playing in a deep end of a pool they
were there for six hours
of the fights drinking they were cooking because they got there with me so they
started watching the
fights at like 3 30 p.m yeah oh during that chris wyden fight one of them kept
yelling hole in one over
and over again so i yeah i knew that they were fucking hole in one yeah i mean
we're just getting
pretty cooked up well that's unfortunate
yeah dude that was fun that dinner was fun it was fake that place was fancy in
there
um but it was a good time man you just got back from scotland yeah
well how was it oh it's cold cold as did they call did they talk to you like
that oh joe they took
like that yeah yeah i don't want to do an impression of it i'll it up but i
like it over
there it's beautiful would you like was there i think that it's like it's one
of the most beautiful
places but it's like very lightly populated i almost don't want to talk about
it because it's so cool
because there's not a lot of people there oh yeah but it's also there's like
some there that's so
old they had uh some guide stones on this property and uh they said i go how
old are these things
they're like thousands of years old we don't even know don't know who put them
there don't know why
they're there so these like 4 000 5 000 year old stones that are sticking out
of the ground they have
a stone circle there that's older than stonehenge it's crazy yeah yeah stonehenge
is crazy dude i remember
when um in school they would teach us like stonehenge it's crazy who knows what
happened you know yeah
like smurfs aliens like they had all this crazy they would teach you and then
they taught you about
that in school yeah yeah smurfs or just everybody didn't know what it was about
right but then
stonehenge is by smurfs did you get that in ohio did they teach you learn about
it all at the same time
like him probably yeah this is during the 80s bro early 90s and um but then we
went there one time we're
touring and we drove by and literally they had an exit for stonehenge and it
was just right there it
was like a rest area it was just like right off the highway and when you went
there was it impressive
no it was like i was impressed because i'd learned they didn't give a fuck
there's like people over
there just like changing their kids in front of it and stuff on the ground like
people didn't give a
shit it was walk up to it and touch it right it's right there dude they had
like a sign that was like um
i don't even think it said please don't touch it was like just something more
vague than that
did you ever see the georgia guidestones the georgia guidestones were this
thing that i don't know
if they know who built it do they know who funded that thing i don't think so
so they never found out
yeah the georgia guidestones somebody spent a lot of money to make these giant
stone statues
with the guides to how to keep a civilization intact and then oh like the rules
yeah oh wow yeah it's
written in a bunch of different languages so what is it like so somebody blew
it up man no oh yeah
let's sit down the bottom somebody um somebody blew it up and then they decided
after the person blew up
part of it to destroy it all which i don't understand that logic why they
wouldn't just rebuild it why
didn't you just rebuild it so a mysterious monument meant to guide into an age
of reason was destroyed
after an apparent bombing that's and that right there is like a perfect example
of existence yeah how
about just leave it there yeah okay june in 1979 a man going by the pseudonym
of rc christian approached the
elberton granite finishing company with the task of building a monument he said
that no one was ever
to know his true identity or that the group that he was representing or the
group that he of of the
group or that of the group that he was representing he seemed to have an
endless supply of money to
fund the project and by the terms of the legal contract all plans had to be
destroyed after
completion and all information about him withheld from the public so the stones
are finished in 1980
they carry a tablet in front proclaiming let these be guide stones to an age of
reason engraved in the
stones are 10 guidelines meant to re-establish the planet and society perhaps
after an apocalypse
they're written in eight different languages english spanish swahili hindu hebrew
arabic chinese and
russian amongst other commandments preached to maintain humanity under 500
million in perpetual
balance with nature wow rule passion faith tradition and all things with tempered
reason
balance personal rights with social duties yeah be not a cancer on the earth
leave room for nature
wow solid laws yeah do you think that's solid yeah it seems like a great plan
do you think that
humanity is supposed to reach like this place where we kind of get it all
figured out or do you
think it's always just this constant ebb and flow of like well i think step
forward step back or two
steps forward step back we were talking about on the podcast like what's
happening in terms of like
people slowly turning into genderless aliens yeah you know i think i think that's
probably really what's
going on i don't think humanity ever gets together i think humanity stops being
humanity because i think what
what keeps us from getting it together a lot of it is if you think about the
horrors of society like
violence war thievery like stealing resources all that stuff imprisoning people
corruption all those
things are like they're those are built in primal behaviors in human beings
especially with unchecked
power and i think that as long as we're just human beings we're going to have
those things we'll have
less and less of them we have way less now than we had during king henry the
eighth like back during
king henry the eighth you couldn't have a podcast he would kill you when he
wanted to get rid of his
wives he just chopped their heads off oh give me get a new one get rid of her
off with her head you
couldn't that was the thing right was it was it henry the eighth that was off
with their head
wasn't he the guy he had like a few of them he would see it now it would be his
wife would make a tick
talk about it in a heartbeat i feel like her sister would oh yeah she would
like that motherfucker there
was nothing wrong with her head he said her head was cursed henry is lying yeah
yeah nowadays are
different man so there's like that's like stephen pinker's work if you follow
his work on violence and
crime people always want to think that violence and crime is more now than ever
before but the reality is
when you look at the course of human history it's there's never been a more uh
safe time to be alive
than right now what do you think it looks like coming up do you think like
people start to res
like if if fear if like people continue to be so like full of fear do we do
people like resort back
to like their tribal nature or what kind of starts to happen they definitely do
if the power goes out
the only thing that keeps society together is power as soon as power goes out
you have no electricity
you have no cooling so you can't stay in places where it's too hot and you can't
live in places
where it's too cold yeah you're in a bad spot there so then if you're living in
a place where it's too
cold you're heavily dependent upon firewood so a big part of your day is
getting firewood you have
to make sure you have enough if you're living in siberia you have to have a
fucking shit pile of
firewood and you never let that fire go out i get a bunch ever you need to have
a bunch i would i get
there early you gotta keep that fire going man because if you're stuck out
there and it's 70
degrees below zero like you'll die dude imagine you fall asleep and it goes out
and then
you have to wake up the other people and a lot of these guys aren't using
matches to start fires either
because you know that's one of the things that survival also tell you is like
you're going to run
out of matches you should learn how to start a fire without matches so you got
to learn how to start
a fire with steel and flint and i don't know how it's so fucking not easy man
there's some fire
starters you can get like they're pretty good have you seen people do it like
when you go hunting and
stuff you have i've done it yeah i've started fires with these little flint
sticks so it's like um
it's like a piece of steel and a piece of flint and there's uh these little
things called fire
starters and some people make them too one of the ways they make them is they
take uh cotton balls like
cotton swabs uh-huh and they uh soak them in vaseline and so then you um take tinder
so you
have like uh some people use steel wool oh yeah they use different things that
you can like there's
you can you can make it with like shavings and dry the shavings out and then
you slowly get little
sparks onto those shavings and and then once you get it going then you put some
little sticks on then
you put some bigger sticks on now you have a fire yeah and they say that you
should know how to do that
because you don't want to be on that last match going fuck fuck like you have
to know how to
actually start a fire the the best ways with tools i tried to start a fire when
i was in the boy scouts
with the bow i don't know if you ever did that one like there's a stick and you're
oh yeah and you
do it like that or whatever with them back i got cotton eye joe or whatever i
got it to smoke
i got blackness came out of it i never got a fire damn i never got it to the
point where i could like
light something on fire there yeah but i was also dumb i didn't realize you
gotta like put a little tiny
pieces of wood down in there once it starts going and blow on it i didn't i was
i thought it was a
fire was gonna get going just go huh i thought that thing was gonna like fire
eventually yeah it didn't
didn't what um in scotland did you see any good um music acdc is from scotland
oh yeah that's what i
was thinking of earlier when we were talking no that's not them no that's not
them is that them
fire
acdc is yeah you son of a
uh they keep changing it
they keep changing it it's like berenstein bears you know it's like the mandela
effect yeah that's what it
is what um yeah what's a famous band that is from scotland then take that back
two of the members
are from glasgow so oh oh jimmy came at you hard there um it's a little hard
there what else do they
sing acdc long way to the top yeah back in black yeah hell's bells yeah whole
lot of rosie
i've heard that one yeah you have you have whole lot of roses you know that
song maybe i have heard
it you never heard that song come on son say it again listen give me a little
whole lot of rosie
you got to hear this you ne