Name: Candace Owens | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #566
Uploaded: 2025-03-05T19:35:13.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Candace Owens | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #566' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-03-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Candace Owens | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #566' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-03-05. Transcript available.

Candace Owens | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #566

I have some tour dates to tell you about Victoria in the Canada, I'll be there,
Winnipeg, and Calgary as well in the Canada, Miami, Florida, Fort Wayne,
Indiana, Chicago, Illinois, Tuscaloosa, Alabama, Oxford, Mississippi, Belton,
and College Station, Texas.
Tickets at theovon.com slash T-O-U-R.
Today's guest is a political commentator, an investigative reporter, and a podcaster.
She's known for her conservative viewpoints, her many viral debates, and her
own show, Candace, which you can find releasing every week.
I'm grateful for her time.
Today's guest is Candace Owens.
Anyway, is this mic on her okay?
We're good?
Do I sound good?
Everyone sounds a bit perfect.
I look great.
I look perfect.
Oh, dang.
Yeah, he just told me.
Well, I'm not going to tell you that.
You're obviously a taken woman.
Yeah, are you hot or cold, do you feel like?
No, I only run one way because I'm black.
Do, I was going to ask because you're pregnant.
Because you're pregnant, are you hot or cold?
Yeah.
But, yeah, that's all about this.
This is like a repeat conversation.
Like, first off, there's the women.
We always run cold.
Oh, yes.
I've heard that.
My friend, Neil Brennan, is a comedian.
He has a bunch of jokes about that.
Yeah, and then, and so I'm a woman and I'm black, so I naturally like the heat.
Oh, so black women prefer to be warmer?
Yeah, of course.
No, well, we like the heat.
Like, our natural habitat is warm.
Oh, that's a good point, huh?
Yeah, my family's Caribbean, so like the warmth feels great.
So, when I'm boiling hot, like the team, like my team of guys, they're always
like, they
always want the air on, so it's like freezing cold in here.
And I have to tell them like, you know, some of you are Nordic.
It doesn't work.
Like, you know, like I have a redhead on my team and I'm like, Skylar, like,
you know,
you're from the Nordic countries.
That's why you feel this way.
I think that like where you're from dictates a lot of your life or where your
family would
originally be from.
Yeah, I didn't, sometimes I don't think about that.
It would be great if your AC or whatever had like a Caribbean setting or
whatever.
Yeah.
And you could have set that and suddenly like some great music came out.
It's like perfect.
And then some guy's trying to get you to gamble offshore or something.
You're like, what temperature is this?
That would be so crazy.
Yeah.
They should have, yeah, where are all the cool settings for the HVAC?
I absolutely love the heat.
So, I cannot stand the winter.
I can't stand the cold weather, the gray weather.
Even there's a difference if in this, I think actually gets scientific.
I didn't need the science of it, but it does get scientific.
But if you're from those countries, like if I'm in the UK, because my husband's
English,
just the gray weather.
I can't live like this.
Yeah, it's a bunch of Eeyores over there.
Where is the sun?
Yeah.
And my husband just is fine.
He can be like productive, like super productive.
If it's like 12 days of gray and rain, he almost loves it.
He just wants to retreat to his library.
Oh, yeah.
I think all British people are always just writing war letters and stuff.
That's how I kind of always envision them.
They're always just looking out the window and writing about the war to each
other.
That's what my husband does all day.
Of course.
Yeah.
And then even Paddington Bear.
Their bear has a coat.
He's not even like our bears are naked.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, I'm not saying that that's the way to do it.
But if you bring up an American teddy bear real quick.
Let me see this topless bastard.
Paddington Bear is proper.
Yeah.
Now, some of these are obviously some pretty right wing bears.
Put up a, bring up a politically neutral teddy bear.
Yeah, but they are.
They're always like not well dressed.
We're not, we don't, we don't really wear a lot of clothes in America in
general.
And especially as you come down to the south, it just gets, because then there's
England
and there's New England.
So I'm from Connecticut.
So there's a lot of similarity.
And then the more that you drift south, you're kind of in a different country.
Oh, that's, you know, that's a good point.
I never even think about that.
Oh yeah.
Cause you would, if you see some people cooking some of the stuff I've seen
them cook, you
would call the police in some communities, you know, but in other communities,
you're
just sharpening your silverware.
So yeah, I agree that that's interesting, but yeah, they should have definitely
some better
settings on the AC.
If they had Caribbean, like you turn that bitch, set that bitch to plantains or
whatever.
Yeah.
Like, I would love that.
I would absolutely love it.
You are pregnant now.
I've been pregnant for four years, actually.
So I think now people are kind of saying to me,
still or again, when they see me, are you still pregnant or are you pregnant
again?
So I'm not sure which one, but this is my fourth kid.
So, and I've had a child every year.
It's kind of crazy.
This is like a lifestyle now for me.
Pregnancy is a lifestyle.
Yeah.
Do you, are there good dreams when you're pregnant?
Like that's one thing.
Cause you're kind of dreaming for two.
I feel like it, is it almost like being at the sphere or whatever?
That's what I would wonder.
You get some really weird dreams when you're pregnant and also some very
precise dreams that end up coming true.
Totally weird.
I mean, I woke up and had such a crystal clear dream.
My last pregnancy, my EP was trying to get pregnant.
An EP means executive producer?
Yeah.
Okay.
My former executive producer.
And I had a crystal, like her son visited me.
And it was before she knew she was pregnant.
And I said to her, you're having a little boy.
Like you're pregnant.
And she was like, I'm not pregnant.
And then she went back.
Or somebody shot an episode of the ring in your womb, maybe.
It's one or the other.
That sounds wild.
And then they got pregnant.
She found out she was pregnant.
And then she went back.
Cause I texted her and it was the, like the day of conception.
And my sisters did the same exact thing to me when they were pregnant.
So there's some weird pregnancy dreams that happen.
I go with them.
Like if I remember a vivid pregnancy dream, I'm like, that's happening.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Ooh, that's cool.
Yeah.
Cause you would think that the spirit would be able to come visit you before it
showed up.
Right.
Cause this is just kind of the physical inclination of a spirit, right?
Being alive on earth.
And so it would make sense that the spirit got to come and kind of loiter a
little bit
or visit friends that's or visit like friends of whoever it was going to occupy.
You know, if I think about dreams too hard, it freaks me out like deja vu.
Oh, it just scares me.
Genuinely.
I'm, I'm going what's real.
What's not as this inception.
Yes.
Because you are so certain in a moment of deja vu that you've been there.
You've seen that person, you've met that person and yet you haven't in your
waking world.
So us not having like just humans, not having an answer to deja vu is one of
those lingering
things that in the back of my mind, if I think too much about it, I'm, I just
get freaked
out.
Yeah.
I had a guest on recently, this guy, Ari Shaffir and we had the strongest money
to deja vu I'd
ever had.
And I almost was grabbed him and I was like, you've, you've been here.
Yeah.
And were you like, you had maybe sometimes like an, like an enemy or a friend
or you just
know someone.
Well, it was like, I knew you.
I was like, we've done this for you.
And I almost felt like he knew it.
And he was like, like this bastard, this dude, I was like, tell me why you came
before.
I know you from another life.
Yeah.
What was our beef?
Like, dude, yeah.
What heck?
Tell me what you're fucking doing here.
Tell me who you're working for.
Yeah.
Did you, you, so you have three children that are out of your body right now.
Is that what you're saying?
Out of my body.
Yeah.
Three, three, we did three under three.
My eldest just turned four.
And so, yeah, we're on another, we are on another planet right now in my house.
Like the toddlers are running things.
They're running things.
They are.
I'm scared of them.
Yeah.
And I feel comfortable saying that here.
I wouldn't tell them that.
I act tough.
No, you gotta, yeah.
I think you go away from the house.
We don't let them know we're outnumbered, you know, because they're just kind
of learning
to count, but we are fully outnumbered.
You only teach them to count at two.
Before they start making sense and having a little toddler meetings of like,
hey, listen
up, there's more of us than there are of them.
I watched way too much Rugrats growing up.
Oh, yeah, I forgot.
I didn't see, it's interesting that you would see Rugrats as like a, like a psyop
idea of
like babies kind of like coagulating and forming like a Lord of the flies.
Tommy had a screwdriver at all times.
Good point.
He was a moral person, but he had a screwdriver at all times in his, yeah,
there's two of
them.
Oh, that diaper was thick too.
And I'll say this, this is a little girl on the right.
She looks like, and this guy is also a very handsome guy.
In this photo, she looks like Anthony Smith, who is a, one of the greatest UFC
fighters.
Bring up a photo of Anthony Smith as well on a separate eye, separate.
And I shouldn't say that because she's going to get upset.
Yeah.
And she's not the one to upset.
So you just be very careful here before she, Anthony Smith.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
Nevermind.
Oh, you have a beautiful family.
Are you able to take a vacation?
Were you able to take any vacations recently or anything?
Yeah.
We went, just got back.
I'm saying just got back, but that's how it feels like time is flying.
But, uh, we spent all of December overseas.
So we spent a lot of time in England because we just want to spend time with my
husband's
family.
And then we popped over to Switzerland for a ski trip, which was awesome.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, and I had a lot of these thoughts, like when we were walking through Zermatt
and I
love Switzerland, it's a beautiful country, but you know, you get the tour and
you're
way up in the mountains and they figured out how to just live in the mountains.
And you get these moments where you're just like, you know, there were no black
people
here when this was built.
Cause there's no way we would even like, it's so cold that we would be like,
let's see
if we can get a sleigh up here and try to build roads.
Like it's just, and it's amazing.
Like Zermatt, like you'll get that.
It's, it's the most beautiful town.
And they figured out how to make everything happen on tiny little roads and
with taxis
going up and in between.
Wow.
That's Zurich?
That is Zermatt.
Zermatt.
Yeah.
Have you been to Switzerland?
I haven't, but you always hear about the Swiss Alps.
Is this it?
It's beautiful.
Wow.
Yeah.
Switzerland is truly a beautiful, beautiful country.
And I love the mountains.
I will say that I'm a mountain girl.
I do not love, I actually kind of hate beaches.
Really?
I have an issue with sand.
I have beef with sand.
Yeah.
It just gets everywhere.
I don't know.
It's drying and it gets everywhere and I just don't like it.
Yeah.
I wonder how I feel about it.
Speaking of those villages, actually.
Yeah.
I never, I haven't been there, but my friend, when I was a kid, he won his
family football
pool or whatever for, um, the NCAA football, like, like whenever they have the
bowl games
and his mom, like coerced him into buying a Switzerland village or whatever
that they
could put on their table at home.
So he, he came into some money.
He came in.
It was almost like, I think it was like 1100.
He came into some money.
And so then dude, like two weeks later, we're like, dude, what are you gonna do
with the
money?
And he had a fricking Christmas village at his house.
Like a doll house.
Or just like, you know, those villages people get and it's like Switzerland and
his was
Switzerland, but it was, um, but he was furious about it.
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