Name: Chelsea Handler | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #570 (Age Restricted)
Uploaded: 2025-03-25T15:00:38.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chelsea Handler | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #570 (Age Restricted)' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-03-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chelsea Handler | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #570 (Age Restricted)' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-03-25. Transcript available.

Chelsea Handler | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #570 (Age Restricted)

Today's guest is a stand-up comedian, she's an actress, she's an author, she
just came out with her seventh book.
You know her from her Chelsea Lately series, and just from being a force in the
comedy world.
Her new special, The Feeling, is out now on Netflix.
I'm grateful to spend time with today's guest, Chelsea Handler.
Where are you from, Theo?
I'm from Louisiana.
I'm from Louisiana, so not a lot of comedians.
Well, there are Mark Normand is a comedian out of Louisiana.
Oh, I'm in a space.
There's a bunch of guys.
Who are you with, WME?
Yeah, Michael Berkowitz.
Oh, yeah, he's my agent, too.
He is?
Oh, wait, he said that.
Yeah.
I just saw him the other day, he came to a show in Pittsburgh.
Oh, yeah.
So, every time agents are scared of losing you, they show up, you notice that?
Yeah, for sure, that's their jam.
Yeah.
Are you thinking about leaving WME?
No, I mean, Mike is charming, he's done great work for me.
Have you ever been at UTA?
Because I just left UTA like six months ago for WME.
You did?
The owner of UTA?
Jim, Jeremy Zimmer?
Yeah.
One of those guys, yeah.
Yeah, Jeremy, I've known him for a few years.
Jeremy's a really neat guy.
Yeah.
He's very, there's nobody like him.
That's funny.
I got, after the Oscar parties, on the morning after, I switched out of my
heels into a pair
of sneakers, Oscar night for the parties.
I wanted to go to a guy's party and I wanted to dance and so I got a, Dougie,
come here.
Doug, come.
Doug, come.
Doug.
Doug, I feel like he's looking for a place to pee.
Come over here.
Is he?
No.
He could pee by me if he needs to, I guess.
They just took out.
Well, hopefully he will during that interview.
That'll be perfect.
He sent me a text and he's like, I have your shoes from last night.
I didn't see Jeremy Zimmer.
I have no idea how he had my shoes.
I had just left his agency.
I was like, well, thank you very much.
And he's like, can I send these to an address?
And I was like, just keep them.
I don't really need them anymore.
They were just for the night.
So that's funny.
Yeah.
Jeremy Zimmer is very unique.
He's a great speaker too.
He's a great, he's able to speak and think at the same time really well.
That's something that I really admire about him.
What was I going to ask you about?
Oh, good to see you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You look great.
Have we ever seen each other before?
I came on your show a couple times when you had Chelsea Lately show.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
I was so nervous.
Were you?
Oh, yeah.
God, I don't even remember.
It's okay.
Yeah.
So many comics were on my show that I don't even remember meeting.
That's so crazy.
So many people came on my show and were interviewed by me that I don't remember.
So when I run into these people, I always say, hi, it's nice to meet you.
Yeah.
And they're like, you've interviewed me like several times.
Yeah.
And I'm like, well, it's great to see you again.
Do you think, was it because, were you drinking or was it just because you were,
it was just, time was just hectic?
Just interviewing thousands of people.
It's impossible to remember everyone.
No, I typically didn't drink during my show.
Would you ever though?
Because sometimes life just gets so stressful.
I mean, I'll drink when I'm performing on stage because that's kind of
nighttime,
eight o'clock, you know, that I don't have a problem with.
Not, not, not wasted, but have a cocktail before I go on.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I like that.
But during the daytime, it's kind of an unnecessary thing.
And when you're shooting, when you're filming a show at three in the afternoon,
it's really not necessary.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I get, yeah.
I think, I can't remember if I even had a drink at that.
I was so nervous.
I remember like some of the lines I said, I couldn't get them right.
And I was like, I was like immensely nervous at that time.
And, um, yeah, but you had so many comics on that was like the tonight show for
a while
for, for, for comedians.
I mean, it boosted a lot of careers.
It launched a lot of careers.
Yeah.
It felt like did a lot of, um, I mean, Michael, yo, Chris Fran, Jola, I mean,
Joe Coy, Joe
Coy, fortune Feimster.
Ali Wong was on that show.
Uh, who else?
Kevin Hart.
Kevin Hart was on the round table before he blew up.
Kevin was on the round table a bunch of times before he blew up.
And then he was like, all right, I'm done with the round table.
I'm a guest.
Yeah.
And I was like, who the fuck does this guy think he is?
And then of course I was like, good for you.
You are a guest now, you know?
Um, but yeah, tons of people.
Oh yeah.
So I mean, and I hate to like, just miss some people's names.
Ross Matthews.
Yeah.
He was, he was a big part of that show too.
I remember.
Or that's kind of what it, cause then he got a spinoff of his own show from
your show.
Didn't he?
Yeah.
I produced it.
The Ross Matthews show and Whitney Cummings.
Uh, I love Ross.
A lot of people.
Yeah.
I just saw Ross in New York city.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's one of a kind.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He just like, I don't know.
I could never see him and not just feel better.
I feel like.
Yeah.
He's an uplifter for sure.
He's like infectious, but yeah, I was so nervous.
I got so nervous.
Cause I think also like they, you would come out and you didn't kind of, or I
didn't know
you.
And so like, I didn't get to say hello or anything.
And I was just hyper nervous.
And, um, yeah, that was, that was definitely tougher back then for me just to
be in like
those types of environments.
Did you ever have a talk show that you went on early where you were just like,
or some
sort of thing you went on where you're like, I can't handle this.
Or were you always?
No, always.
Yeah.
I mean, diarrhea, you know what I mean?
Like, you know, remember when you, like I used to do Leno before I was like a
correspondent
on Leno.
I mean, I would like literally, I'm not even, I don't pray.
And I would pray every, I'd be like, just please let me do well.
Let me do well.
I'd be on my knees in the dressing room.
Like, can everyone get out really quick?
Cause I don't want anyone to see me praying also.
So I would get down on my knees and be like, please, please, please.
Let's, I mean, I did that up until probably, I don't know, 10 years ago, five
years ago
until I finally, I'm solid in my footing enough to know I'm, I'm going to do a
good job.
Yeah.
When you do something for so long, you understand what the mechanics are.
And even if it's a shitty situation, if you have a right attitude, it's going
to be good.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, definitely.
It changes like now I feel more confident in a lot of situations.
Some conversations I still get nervous in, but not like when I'm going on stage
and stuff.
Now I know I've just done it enough times where I can handle it.
Um, so that, yeah, some things do start to evolve.
Thank God.
I remember being in like a really little audition room and I first went in and
was over at E.
They were auditioning for something.
And I was like, can we open the window?
I was like, and it was like kind of a little room, but it was like, and they,
it was windows.
They didn't let it, they, so the late, the assistants over there, Matt's trying
to
open, like doesn't open and nothing was helping me.
I was like, can we open the door?
And it was just, it was horrible.
I had some rough ones early on with, with so many comedians who tried to get on
your show.
Was there a lot of lobbying that happened like behind the scenes?
Like did comedian, like friends, like, are people trying to like infiltrate
your space?
Do you feel like to try to get those positions?
Cause that was such a coveted spot to be on Chelsea lately.
Yeah.
It's funny you say that.
I don't really remember that.
I had such a team of people around me.
It's like that, that we're, we're, those are the people like, you're not coming
to me
saying, can I come on your show?
Like that wasn't really a thing.
It was more about the bookers probably were dealing with that.
And other comedians would go to the bookers, but nobody really bothered me with
that.
Like, you know, this person wants to come on.
Can you do me a favor?
It wasn't like that.
I probably didn't give off the air that that would be that very, that, that
welcome.
You know, like I, I didn't want to deal with that shit.
I was dealing with enough shit.
There was enough fucking people.
We were like a big fraternity party.
All we did was play practical jokes on each other all day.
It was one of the most unprofessional environments I've ever been a part of.
And I fucking loved it, you know?
So anything that would slightly annoy me at that time, I had very little
tolerance for.
So nobody would be jockeying with me because I hated that.
Like when I'd put up my standup dates, I'd be like, okay, I'm doing a tour for
this book or whatever.
And I'd put it up on the wall and all the comics that worked on Chelsea Lately,
the writers would have first, they could decide if they wanted to open for me,
you know?
And they'd sign up on the wall.
Like I'm going, doing Kansas City.
I'm doing St. Louis.
And when that happened and they would go at it and jockey for that, like I
would, I had no, I don't like that.
I don't like competitiveness.
I don't like when people are like, no, I want to do this one.
So like, I think everyone knew not to fuck around with that.
I don't like when people are acting like that gamesmanship, you know?
So, um, you pick up on it probably pretty quick, I would guess.
And I also ignore it easily.
Like I'm not, I'm, that's not of an interest of mine.
So, uh, yeah.
But people would come on if they didn't do well, they'd get a second chance.
Maybe sometimes they'd bomb really badly.
And then, you know, there's nothing you can do.
And people were really nervous and there's nothing I can do about that either.
You know, like you're either going to sink or swim.
So you're, you have to kind of, when you're in that situation and you're
running a show and it's your name on it, you kind of just have to, you have to
understand.
Some people, if you felt bad for every single person who didn't do well, you're
not succeeding either.
Yeah.
You'll be a therapist at that point.
Right.
Yeah.
Um, the feeling, I watched some of the feeling.
I love like, what's one of the lines you had early in it?
It was like, um, even at seven, I was looking for a bar.
I think that's one of the lines you have in it.
Yes.
About just being young.
It seemed like you were born.
Like I could relate to it so much.
Like, like immediately, even though in the, some of the stories you start
telling, uh, in the new special, it's like, you are a adult.
I was born as a woman.
Yes.
Yeah.
I was, when I was born, I was pissed.
Yeah.
I was pissed and I was a woman and I felt like I was trapped in a little baby's
body with it.
That was chubby and being tossed around like some sort of party favor.
And I wanted to be a business woman.
Yeah.
I realized right away that my family was not going to cut it.
Incompetent employees.
Incompetent.
Too many people already.
There were like five other kids.
I'm like, where are these fucking kids coming from?
No union.
Why, why?
Yeah.
Unions.
Yeah, exactly.
I wanted to be, I wanted to head up a union and I just couldn't believe the,
the, the lack of like a savings account or financial plan.
And my dad seemed like he was a bit of a hot mess.
My mom was sleeping a lot.
And I just was like, this family is not up to stuff.
Like I had bigger ideas for myself.
Yes.
It's, I can relate to that so much.
Like I just felt like I was born into a place where like, it was almost like I
was born into like a, a, a job, like a job position that I didn't apply.
And there was no like clear rules of employment on the wall.
The hours were super fucking vague.
You didn't exactly know who was in charge, but you had to be at work every day.
That's kind of like how I felt.
So when you were talking about that, um, some of the early stories you're
talking about, I could just relate to that so much.
Yeah.
My dad was also like, I ha