Name: Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #583
Uploaded: 2025-05-20T15:01:24.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #583' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #583' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-20. Transcript available.

Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #583

And we've got some new tour dates to tell you about. I'll be in Cedar Rapids,
St. Paul, Fargo, Rapid City, Philadelphia, Rochester, Garbage Plate, Detroit,
Winnipeg, and Calgary in the Canada.
All of those shows coming up in June, July, and August. TheoVaughn.com slash T-O-U-R.
It's the Return of the Rat Tour. It's almost over.
And thank you guys so much for your support.
Today's guest is a former NFL wide receiver. He's a commentator. He's a podcast
host and many other things.
He has a show called Nightcap with Shannon Sharp. He had a huge career with the
Cincinnati Bengals.
He's just, he's an energy. And I'm grateful to spend time today with Mr. Chad
Ochocinco Johnson.
Thanks for coming, Chad. You feel okay with just getting into it? You want to,
anything you want to talk about or don't want to talk about?
I don't like having sex. Get into it. I don't have rules.
Okay.
I'm just as crazy as you are.
Damn.
If you ask, you ready for an answer?
Ooh.
Well, okay, Chad.
Goddamn, I look good.
You coming in a little dark, huh? How dark are you? Do y'all do it? Is there
like a...
I can smoke? Because you put that right there.
Yeah. I don't think we got to... I mean, will that thing go off, you think?
No, it's not enough smoke.
Did you do F1 last weekend?
Yeah. I had to go shake some hands, smiles, get a few deals done.
I'm not much of a F1 guy.
NASCAR, now we talking.
NASCAR is where it's at.
Especially for first dates.
Go to NASCAR?
What?
Some of this shit...
A woman that's never been to NASCAR and you sit in the stands?
Oh.
Awesome.
I got to do something like that.
I used to take girls, when I lived in Tucson, I'd take them over to the dog
track over there.
Greyhounds?
Yeah.
They had a greyhound track still and...
They had a greyhound track. This is probably about 16 years ago.
We got the greyhound track here too, horse track.
I love that, man.
You got any nice animals at the house?
No.
I travel too much for pets.
And I can't deal with death.
I don't have a death well.
Yeah, I wish...
Sometimes I love to see animals compete against each other.
Yeah.
I love that shit, man.
They had a baby racing the other day at a college game.
Crawling?
Yeah.
That's funny.
I saw some time when they do it at NBA games.
And the baby's crawling.
I bet on them.
You ever had that game?
Dude, I put $1,100 on a four-month-old, baby.
For real quick?
Yeah.
A fast little Filipino four-month-old.
Look, look, look.
This is dope.
I put half a rack on that bitch.
Oh, that's a...
That is funny.
Dang.
Look at that one baby stalled out.
Got dementia.
Oh, they cheating there.
Stop reaching across the line.
That's what I don't like that.
That's the rules of Chang.
And look at this little one.
Maybe right there.
Damn, he turning around.
Wrong way, wrong way, buddy.
He want a new contract.
He just hit the portal.
He's heading back to his stepdad.
Oh, they're going the wrong way.
Now they got...
Oh, that one can't handle it.
Yeah, now they got that little Filipino bad boy up top.
There it is.
That's Puka Nakua right there up top, baby.
He about to hit the finish line.
That's funny.
Do you feel like it was probably...
When you look at the players today,
do you feel like it was easier for them
to be able to pick up stats?
I mean, the game has changed.
The game has evolved a lot.
Obviously, from a receiver standpoint,
they throw the ball much more.
Much more.
The era I played in,
it was more about running the ball
to open up the pass.
So they definitely...
I mean, it's a different average.
They have an added game, too.
So it was much more difficult.
And the game is a little bit more lenient
in favor of the offensive side
because defensive defenders
really can't do anything.
You can't hit.
They throw flags for everything.
You get fined for everything.
I think my era and the era before me,
football in general back then,
was the true definition of football.
I mean, it's a gladiator sport.
Yeah.
Yeah, definitely.
Why do you think they softened up
the rules like that?
Why do you think they made it like that?
Honestly, the truth,
I forgot what era it was
when they sued the NFL
for all the injuries,
all the trauma
that players have suffered in the past.
Yeah.
And they won the lawsuit.
It might have been a billion
or something like that.
And they had no choice but to...
Oh, yeah.
The National Football League
was sued for failing to protect players
from head injuries,
which can lead to CTE
starting in 2011.
In 2012,
a class action lawsuit was filed
to consolidate
number 4,500 former player cases.
So they settled that, huh?
Yeah, they won.
Damn.
Those players won.
And that's why the rules
are what they are today.
I know they always preach
about player safety,
but that's...
I mean, player safety is cool.
It's understandable.
But players have gotten faster,
stronger, bigger.
The dimensions of the field
haven't changed at all.
So, therefore, injuries
are still going to happen.
Concussions are still going to happen.
There's no way to prevent that.
Yeah.
It's impossible.
Yeah, because that's part of it.
You can't just stop that from happening.
It's part of...
You know what you signed up for.
Yeah.
You know what you signed up
when you make it, you know,
as a 1% in the NFL.
It's a gladiator sport.
It's barbaric.
It kind of is a little bit of a bummer
because you don't really get as men...
There's not enough defensive cornerbacks
and safeties.
They don't really get enough love,
then, because you don't even get
to know them as much
because they can't play as much defense.
Does that make sense?
A little bit.
But some of them have made a name
for themselves that are really good.
Really, really good.
The Jalen Ramseys and McDuffie.
And let me see.
I can think of some of these DBs off.
Sauce Gardner, Derek Stingley.
You know, some dudes are really good
regardless of the game changing
the way it has.
Pat Sertain, Lazaria Sneed.
Really good.
Jalen Johnson, good.
Young dude, Christian Gonzalez
with the Patriots.
Man.
Hey, he's an animal.
Wow.
He's an animal.
And there's another young fella.
Latino right there.
Yeah, there's another young fella
in...
Damn it.
Horn from the Panthers
is really good as well.
Joe Horn's son?
Yeah, Joe Horn.
He is nice.
Really?
So despite the rules being what they are,
they've gotten so good technically,
you know, trying to adapt to the rules.
Yeah.
That some of them stand out.
But they're just...
It feels like you do...
There can't really be that beast out there
that's just like clapping dudes down.
No, you can't.
You can't.
You can't.
And those...
The first thing that comes to mind
is the safety
or maybe linebacker from the Texans
who got suspended.
I think he got suspended
maybe once or twice
because he plays
like he's back in the old days.
Oh, yeah.
Who is it?
Al Shazier.
Shazier.
Something like that.
Al Shazier?
Not him.
Who is it?
I don't know.
I don't know how to say his name
the right way.
Aziz Al Shayer.
He's Al Shayer, yeah.
Oh, hell yeah.
He's an op, bro.
He's working for the Middle East
over here.
He's over here doing some shit.
He plays football
the way football should be played.
Hell yeah.
Hell yeah.
I got to get his jersey, man.
He's good.
He's really good.
But yeah,
you don't hear...
There's not like that
Ronnie Lott guy.
You know what I'm saying?
They just don't have those bangers
or like...
Who was the guy
that played for Denver
that was just a banger back there?
Steve Atwater.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Steve Atwater, Bob Sanders.
Oh, he's old school.
Yeah.
He's old school.
And obviously, right there,
players should have slid early.
Slide early.
Yeah, what do you think
about the slide, man?
Because honestly,
as a fan,
it doesn't even make it fun.
If the guy's running,
you know he's going to slide.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It just seems...
I don't know.
You would almost rather
don't do this play
or somebody get hit.
Well, not really.
It just slide early.
You know the guys are coming.
They're much faster than you,
especially quarterbacks.
They're much faster than you.
And Mahomes is one
who's really tricky
as he'll purposely slide late
to get a penalty.
He does it all the time.
Sometimes he'll pretend
like he's going down
or going to step out of bounds
and stay in just a little bit,
just a tad second longer
just to get a flag thrown.
God, he's lingering.
Offensive players
are using the rules
to their advantage
and it puts the defensive players
in a pickle.
Yeah.
But it builds it up
for people want stats.
People want to see the scoring.
Yeah, yeah.
You know?
So I guess it's just
a sign of the times.
Do you think it can ever
swing back the other way
or do you think
that the legal issues
and stuff are going
to keep it out of that?
Absolutely not.
It will never swing back
the other way
because the NFL,
they have to protect themselves.
They got to protect the shield
and protect the players,
you know, on the back end.
Was it tough on your team
when you play with the Bengals?
Like, I know you play
with a couple of different teams,
but with any team,
is it fun for a receiver
if they're running, bro?
Is it even fun?
Yeah.
Like, you have to pretend
that they're going to pass?
No, because I like to call myself
an all-around player
outside of just catching the balls
because there were certain things
I already knew
I would have two people
on me every time.
So that opened up
the running game.
So I had no problem.
So if you open up
the running game
and the running game
is doing well,
then they have to take a safety
and get him up off of me
and bring him down in the box.
Now I get to cook.
So I look at it that way.
Do you think a lot of players
look at it that way?
Probably not.
I knew I would get mine
no matter what
because I was the number one receiver.
So at some point,
the ball was going to get to me.
But then you have some games
you go into
and a team will say,
you know what?
Today, 85 is not beating us.
It's going to have to be somebody else.
In those games,
you do the best you can
to keep your composure.
It gets frustrating at times
out there just getting cardio in.
But you're going to have games like that.
So if somebody,
if you know your team
is running, right?
But you still have to pretend
like they're going to pass, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Always, always.
And I'm rarely, rarely
ever was lackadaisical
because I understood
what I mean to us offensively
even when I wouldn't get the ball.
Right.
Like even if you're saying
if they think
they're going to have to keep an eye
and if his eye is over here,
it's not over here in the box.
Yeah, most definitely.
Most definitely.
So I run them off.
And was that still fun too?
Even on those plays?
Yeah.
Is it still fun?
I made it fun.
I had to
because I used that time
to talk shit.
Yeah.
Can you curse?
Huh?
Okay, I'm sorry.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, cool.
You can talk shit, dude.
Yeah.
Who's the darkest dude
you've ever seen in the NFL, man?
Like the darkest skin guy.
Darkest.
Because sometimes you see a guy
and like,
I've been even with my black friends
and we'll see like a dude that is.
And they're like.
That's a good question.
My black friend's like,
damn, you see that black guy?
I'm like, yeah, dude.
I saw him.
But for you to say that,
that's a, you know,
that's a remarkable.
I'm trying to think.
I can't, I can't think.
I'm dark my damn self.
Well, you come.
Yeah, I definitely think you come in a,
people would consider you dark.
Yeah, very, very.
I'm trying,
I'm trying to get darker.
You know, I used to tan.
Oh yeah, where?
Yeah, she goes to the tanning bed.
Did you?
Damn.
Naked, just to even everything out.
I like it.
Because are there parts,
say if you're a,
and I've never seen a,
I've never seen a full,
I don't think naked,
darker male, right?
Right.
Is there parts of your body
that are not as dark?
You know what?
Sometimes I would like the chest
and the neck area to match.
And sometimes it doesn't.
I don't like that
because it's always covered.
I want my legs,
chest and everything,
one like chocolate,
dark,
Go Diva,
Willy Wonka type complexion.
Yeah, like them,
what's them little th