Name: Vice President JD Vance | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #588
Uploaded: 2025-06-07T08:02:14.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Vice President JD Vance | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #588' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Vice President JD Vance | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #588' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-07. Transcript available.

Vice President JD Vance | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #588

I've got some tour dates to tell you about. I'll be in Cedar Rapids, St. Paul,
Minnesota, Fargo, North Dakota, Rapid City, South Dakota, Philadelphia,
Pennsylvania, Rochester, New York, and Detroit, Michigan, all in June and July.
Tickets available now at Theovan.com slash T-O-U-R. Thank you so much for your
support.
Today's guest is the vice president of the United States of America. He was
previously a senator from the state of Ohio before winning the presidency with
Donald Trump in 2024.
We are coming to you from Nashville, Tennessee, from the Detroit Cowboy, a new
restaurant here.
I'm grateful for his return to our podcast. Today's guest is vice president J.D.
Vance.
Shine on me, and I will find a song I've been singing just before.
To be clear.
No, I'm not. I don't care at all. Look.
We believe in the First Amendment.
If the Secret Service has to hit me, hit me hard, brother.
You know what I'm saying? And hit two other people. I want a class action suit.
Oh, holy shit. Look, there's a literal lion right there, like a lion skin.
I hadn't seen. Have you noticed that before?
Nuh-uh. I think it's, is that a lion or it's a-
Sorry, I know we're supposed to start this thing.
No, it's okay. No, you're good. I'm just, there's hand signals and stuff going
on on my group.
I'm just trying to get everybody to chill out so I can.
Okay. Yeah, I just said, no, my bad.
Fuck, now I ruined everything, dude.
We had a really good vibe going.
Theo just totally ruined it.
It's like my childhood, dude. I was just, something I said right out of the
gate ruined it.
That's what my mom said to me when I was, she's like, something you said to me
right when I met you really ruined our relationship.
And I'm like, when I was what?
And I was like, oh, my mom's 11 months old.
Your mom's said that to you?
Yeah, she's just kind of a, she's a mid, you know, she's just a good grudge
holder, you know, and she's Midwestern, so she's got a good grip on it.
Yeah. My mom's a good grudge holder, too.
Is she?
But, yeah, I don't think that she's ever held anything that I said at 11 months
against her, though.
That's pretty, I mean, that's, that's tough, man.
That's a little-
Your mom is the champion of the grudge holder.
Oh, she wins, man. She definitely wins. Yeah, this is Kid Rock's place, dude.
Yeah, it's cool. There's a lion over there that I don't think people can see.
There's two foxes over there. You know what I love this place is my kids.
Oh, dude, Kid Rock is one of the frickin', he is definitely a damn piss lizard.
He is a beautiful guy.
He's a good dude.
He's definitely the kind of guy, I feel like he would sing at like a, I'm
trying to think, what would you have Kid Rock sing at?
I know like a concert, but I'm trying to think of a different type of event or
something.
I mean, he could sing in the orchestra, or not orchestra, no, opera.
Okay?
Dude, he would-
My wife now, because I'm the vice president, she's on the board of the Kennedy
Center, we could bring Kid Rock to sing in the opera.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, wow, that's going to be interesting.
Oh, you got to fumigate-
Let's do it.
You got to fumigate that place after, that's all I'm saying, dude. Just because,
dude.
Yeah, so my cousin, her one request from the campaign is that she wanted to
party with Kid Rock, and I feel kind of bad I didn't bring her.
I brought her, you remember the first time we did your podcast, my cousin was
with me.
Oh, yeah, I met her, she's blonde, right?
Yeah, yeah, she's good people, and she said, I really want to party with Kid
Rock.
She said she wanted to party with Kid Rock and Hunter Biden, and unfortunately,
I haven't made either one of those happen yet, but we'll see.
There's a lot of time left.
Wow, I don't know if there's that much time left for either one of those guys,
though.
That's really what I would-
What were we talking about before we started, dude?
Oh, yeah, you saw that hand thing, remember, by Huberman?
I did see this.
Yeah, who was that?
What's his name, Huberman?
Andrew Huberman, yeah.
Okay, yeah.
He's, um, and the problem was, though, another doctor told me we might have had
our hand backwards.
There's, like, millions of people in America doing, like, a potentially, like,
homoerotic test on themselves based on-
Okay.
So, anyway.
It's your index finger supposed to be longer than your ring finger, right?
I think, I'm not sure.
Yes.
That's how mine is.
Okay.
Is my, like, my pointer finger is longer than my ring finger.
Oh, look, I'm just saying there's a lot of guys afraid to get out of their
truck at work today, probably, you know?
That's all I'm-
I'm just saying.
I mean, there are, because, I mean, millions of people watch your podcast.
There are probably hundreds of thousands of dudes, maybe more, who stared at
their hand and were like, oh, no.
Oh, I saw one guy pulled his finger out of socket just to lie to his wife again.
Oh, my God.
I mean, these are the steps people are going to, especially with this health
care.
Yeah, that's right.
You know?
I mean, you've got to do what you can.
I'm like, dude, you're going to have to put that back in yourself, you know?
That's right.
Yeah.
I don't think it works like that, though, right?
The causality.
I think if you, like, jerk your finger out of the socket, it doesn't really
change anything other than you have a broken finger.
Look, man.
Not that I'm judging, of course.
All, every, you know, live and let live.
Look, dude, if you're a gay guy, I think if you can put, you've put more than
your finger back in socket.
You know what I'm saying?
You can handle that.
That's all I'm saying.
So that right there, I think, is a good test.
I think my great-great-grandfather, I'm not sure if he was gay, but people
thought he was gay or whatever, just from the pictures of him.
Your great-great-great-grandfather.
Yeah.
Man.
I don't think I know anything about my great-great-great-grandfather.
Well, he fought in the Civil War.
He did?
Probably.
For both sides, I bet, huh?
You know what I'm talking about, huh?
Okay, so there's a database.
There's actually, there's a website.
I think it's like an American history or Smithsonian.
Somebody keeps up a database where you can go in and type your name, and you
can see how many people with your last name fought in the Civil War.
Hell yeah.
And I did that on both sides of my family, mom and dad's side.
It was kind of crazy how many people with the same name at least fought in the
Civil War.
Oh, I'm sure.
But on, I mean, like on both sides.
On both sides?
There were some Confederates, there were some Union.
Yeah.
Who would you have fought for, you think?
Sorry, I'm joking, Eddie.
We're not going to start there.
I'm a big fan of Abraham Lincoln.
I would have fought for the Union.
It's interesting, man.
So the, you go back in time to like even, so when I grew up, right, the story
that we told, so I grew up in Southern Ohio.
And the story that sort of we learned in Ohio history and American history was
basically the Union was, the Union side was right.
But, you know, we're all part of the same team.
After the Civil War, we all came together, shook hands and, you know, kumbaya.
And you could even like respect the other side, even if you didn't necessarily
agree with what they were fighting for.
Yeah.
And I feel like something happened like 10 years ago where every, it's like you
have to think that every single person who fought for the Confederate side was
an evil person.
I just think that's so stupid.
Yeah.
Well, I think, you know, I know there was a time when they tore down all the
statues and stuff and erased like a lot of the history.
I think a lot of people would debate about the value of erasing history.
You know, it's like.
That's a good point.
Because it feels like it's there for a purpose and it feels like it deserves to
be there, even though like later on in life you might be, or later on in time,
people might be like ashamed of it or think of it differently.
Yeah, that's right.
It feels like it at least earned its place in existence.
Yeah.
So did you ever see this?
There's this documentary on the Civil War by Ken Burns.
It was on PBS.
Oh, yeah.
It's got like the really sad violin music.
And I actually met the couple that composed that song from the Ken Burns
documentary.
It's like, it's a beautiful song, honestly.
Yeah, but it seems sad as hell to sit around with your wife all day listening
to that song.
Good God.
Let's just, let's sit here and listen to all five minutes of it in total
silence.
Me and you and all these producers.
Look, I, so my wife who, you know, her family came from South India and then
immigrated and then she was born in San Diego.
Like I watched that documentary with my wife.
Actually, I think when we were still dating, we weren't even married yet.
And it's like such a good summary of everything that happened in the Civil War.
Yeah.
And you get this sense it's sad and it's heartbreaking.
You know, they read letters from some guy home to his family.
Yeah.
It's just, it's, it captures the tragedy of the Civil War.
And my wife made this point actually a few years ago.
She was like, if you show that documentary, maybe not now, but like at the
height of the woke thing.
So call it 2021, you show that documentary in 2021, there are a lot of things
they would try to cancel Ken Burns over because, you know, like a Confederate
soldier wrote a, wrote a letter home and it's sad and it's tragic.
And you try to empathize with that person.
And that was, that's like, that wasn't okay in 2021.
And I think that's actually one of the best things that's happened in the
country the last few years is people are just done filtering themselves.
Right.
And they're done like being canceled or being afraid to say what's on their
mind.
Yeah.
Like that's a good thing.
Yeah.
That's a great point, man.
Dude, I'll tell you this.
I heard that Frederick Douglass, um, I heard Frederick Douglass was gay.
And I'll tell you, I swear, I've heard it from almost, probably almost 15, not
15 people.
I've heard it from four people.
Where do you go to find the people who tell you that Frederick Douglass is gay?
Look, I'll tell you this.
You must hang out in more interesting places than I do.
It wasn't white people that told me.
Really?
So out of the gate, I am giving a little bit more credibility.
And that's why he wanted to free all those men because he was having trouble
meeting anybody.
Is that right?
Because everybody was at work.
That's, you know, I'm going to talk, I'm going to talk.
JD Vance, congratulations, dude.
Oh man, we're going to talk to the Smithsonian about putting up an exhibit on
that.
And Theo Vaughn, you can be the narrator for this new, this new understanding
of the history of Frederick Douglass.
Dude, no, uh, congratulations.
Dude, you have such a dry sense of humor that sometimes you say something to me
and I'm like,
was he, was he screwing with me or was he actually being serious about that?
But when you think about it though, he seemed awfully particular about getting
them fellas off, off work early.
I, yeah, I think so.
Probably, probably not for the reasons you're suggesting, but.
I don't know.
And if he was, then more power to him, dude.
I think we need, uh, I don't know.
I'm not getting, this is, it's just getting worse for me.
You're still good.
Um, congratulations, man, on being vice president.
Thanks, man.
That's awesome.
That's so crazy, man.
That's just like, um, it's, I just can't even, like, I can believe it, but it's
just like.
I can't.
You can't?
No, man.
It's crazy.
What about that first, the first night you won?
What did y'all do?
Y'all get high?
Y'all didn't get high.
I don't know.
If I did, I wouldn't say it for public consumption.
No.
Dude, you got it.
I did not get high.
I did not get high.
I mean, I did have a fair amount to drink that night.
Hell yeah, dude.
Dude, first time I stayed at a Hampton Inn that had two beds, those double beds
in one room.
Yeah, you got to find an excuse to celebrate whenever one 