Name: Fathers and Voices | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #590
Uploaded: 2025-06-18T20:17:30.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Fathers and Voices | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #590' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Fathers and Voices | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #590' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-18. Transcript available.

Fathers and Voices | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #590

california we've got some new tour dates for you i'll be in los angeles on august
14th
at the dolby theater anaheim on the august 16th at the honda center and oceanside
on august 17th
at front wave arena get your tickets early this thursday june 19th with code
rat king 10 a.m
local time general on sale begins friday june 20th get your tickets only at
theovon.com
t-o-u-r uh please avoid any scalper sites and thank you so much this is the
return of the rat tour
almost over i promise it's almost over and thank you guys so much for all the
support
okay what's going on um what am i doing what am i doing uh what am i doing yeah
you ever
that's that's where i'm at like what am i doing what am i doing
you you feel like that sometimes ever what am i doing like you know the feeling
like you go back
in the house to get something and then you get in there and you don't know you're
just standing you're
like what am i you go into different rooms and like what does this feel like
what i'm why i was coming
back in here does it feel like it's in here you know it's like you're like on a
scavenger hunt just with
your own memory um that's how i feel i just it's just one of those days the
whole day feels like that
kind of you ever have those type of days where you're like this this this ain't
my day
this day me and this day don't even know each other
you know you're alive the whole day but like you just don't even belong to the
calendar like you're
just loitering that's the kind that's where i'm at that's where i'm at
and i don't know if it's the world making me feel that way it's just me i mean
it's you know uh
but it's okay you know i show up here i'm happy to be here today with you guys
um
yeah my name's theo and i'm happy to be here
uh happy belated father's day let's say that happy belated father's day it's
all the men out there who
who make those choices even the choices their children don't see to show up you
know they do the extra
thing you know they do the things they're supposed to do as a father
you know they follow the blueprint
um happy happy belated father's day to those guys and sorry we didn't get this
episode out um
last week but here we are right here we are and and some people you you may not
have a father right
your father may have passed or he may not be in your life and um you know i can
relate to some of
that where like sometimes i'll find pieces of my father and other and other men
you know
there's certain men i'll go to for like certain advice or you know and i get a
little piece of
fatherhood there uh there's certain men i'll call when uh maybe i'm scared or
maybe when things are good
and i'll share them and i'll and i'll get a little piece of fatherhood there um
so happy belated father's day to all the fathers or even just all the men in
the world that
that create pieces of fatherhood for others even sometimes they don't even know
they do it i bet
um what's going on um oh i went to qatar i hadn't even talked about that i went
to the middle east baby
and the middle east dude it's i mean it is
it's something it's like you ever open the oven door and that is on
that's the middle east boy that is on like the whole time i'm there i'm just
looking to
like turn off the preheat switch or something i'm like damn somebody set this
on broil
it's the sun is over there it's geeking bro the sun is over there it's down
that's the heat come down on you like dang bro this sun trying to press me this
heat feeling a
little bit zesty this because that heat will get everywhere get down the back
of your neck like god
dang that heat start undoing your belt buckle you're like gosh this sun getting
zesty
that's heat game bro that's heat game man um but i got invited over there by
the
qatar and it's qatar that's what it's how it's spelled and it doesn't have a u
in it and the whole
time i'm thinking like should i get these guys a gift or something for inviting
me over and i was
like i'll get them the letter u you know let's get a big buy a u in a box and
give that to them
um but then you're like nah all right they doing their own bro they said you
know they conserving
hell they're conserving water they're conserving letters too and i got invited
over there by the
i guess it's the like the kind of the board that
the tourism board i guess so that's who i got invited over there by and it was
in conjunction
with a time that donald trump was going to be there performing for the troops
uh or speaking to the
troops and so i got to perform that same day probably maybe like an hour or so
uh before he was up there
the show was it was uh hectic the show was hectic because there weren't
supposed to be any cameras i
got on stage there were like 20 news cameras so that was a total surprise and
um and so we had to
make some adjustments or whatever but just getting to be there and see the base
and see uh the soldiers
over there and see the people that you know that made that commitment uh it was
very inspiring and it
was just real you know oh and so that that was really special i felt very lucky
to to just get to witness
that to be allowed to show up um what else did we do there oh it's very
organized there the sidewalks
that bitch stays in line bro you know i'm from louisiana and the sidewalk there
they got one of them
bitches to be at a 40 degree the next plant the next cement uh plank will be at
like a six degree
the next one will have a damn uh off ramp on i've seen a sidewalk with a damn
off ramp on it in
louisiana bro because the the oak trees the roots grow up under the sidewalk
and they'll push that
bitch off dog bro you trying to walk down the street you end up fucking six
blocks over bro
if you follow the sidewalk that bitch it'll take you wherever dude so a lot of
times in louisiana you
see somebody walking right along the side of the street and that's why because
them sidewalks them
bitches dang they don't care they each each piece of cement barely even knows
the next piece them
bitches they at odds you know and then you'll have one tsunami you know it'll
hit a damn sinkhole that
bitch would be 40 feet down you know you're trying to go half a block and next
you know you were you
got repelling equipment on so it's just heading going down a louisiana sidewalk
is very intense but
uh but in qatar or qatar they say qatar that's everything's very organized
every lamp light every
every everything it's pristine you know it's like a christmas village but uh
but they don't believe in
christmas you know i don't think anyway i don't know if they do or not let me
see
do muslims believe in christmas
uh no muslims do not celebrate christmas if jesus peace be upon him is so revered
in islam why do we
not celebrate his birthday it is necessary to point out that jesus and his
mother mary are revered highly
by muslims as far as celebrating the christmas as the birthday of jesus is
concerned uh the muslim
community do not celebrate it just as we do not celebrate the birthdays of any
other prophet
we believe that celebrating a prophet's birth amounts to adopting that prophet's
teachings as a
way of life if the teachings are not followed the almighty's displeasure is invoked
yeah so anyway
they got you know they got a different setup over there um but yeah all the and
all a lot of the
buildings they look very much they have like a castle top you ever you ever see
like a rook piece if you're
playing chess or the top of a castle it's like this it's got a little square
goes up and then it goes
down and up and down um like a riveting kind of every building in qatar was
like that i mean you you're
like damn is that a damn fortress and they're like damn nah son that's a damn
carls jr bro that's a
nah they just protecting the new chicken sandwich and that bitch you know um
but it was uh really
awesome just to be there and see what it was like the tourism people that had
me come the i think it
was like the prime minister maybe or somebody else they were very accommodating
they invited me over to
their house for dinner which was great man you sit there and if they bring dude
they got condiments
they won the condiment war bro no we got a couple condiments you see a little
bit of ketchup you see
some mayonnaise baby you know you see that mustard bro and sometimes it's mustarded
you know but
you eat it anyway bro you don't have a lot because you don't want to catch
nothing you know we're
passing on to your children but you eat over there they got they had a little
cut of lamb or something
and they got 30 sauces they got shit they got a damn one of the sauces had a
damn deep end on the dish
of it i was like yeah that sauce got a shallow a deep end it would they had a
damn a little hot tub
full of them some turquoise fuchsia after paste or something everything bloop
bloop bloop bloop just
condimented uh so that was wonderful just to be invited to be able to do that
um oh they have dates
over there that's like one of their big fruits or vegetables or i mean a date
they're like oh you like
dates the dates i'm like that that's just a old ass plum homie that is a senior
citizen plum brother
that's what you guys are eating um but they were just great senses of humor
like it was just fun man
i went to like a three-hour dinner and it was a blast and everything there they
have huge buildings for
like a lot of stuff because they have extra money to build you know don't have
like a damn 30 floor
anytime fitness in that bitch you know and that you be you know you're doing
curls on the 17th floor
they got leg press on the ninth floor you know and they got um salt water baths
down there on on the
third floor you know on the second floor then they got a leak obviously coming
from the ceiling but
that's how gravity is you know uh what was uh else was interesting really about
it uh we almost stayed for
a travis scott concert for the night after but we didn't uh one thing that's
interesting over there
they had the world cup a few years ago so there's still a lot of these huge
soccer stadiums right
and they're kind of just you know they use them for different events but they're
just everywhere you're
like oh there's a soccer stadium there's a soccer stadium um it's kind of
fascinating just to
see like all these huge uh empty soccer stadiums out in the desert uh what else
we got to swim in the
persian gulf right outside our hotel they had a persian uh part of the persian
gulf so i got to swim
out there real salty nice um what else oh let me think oh and then so i had
some people say asking me
were you um compromised by the qatari government were you a spy um no i would
never be a spy i don't think
i don't think i would i don't think i would be a good spy dude i i don't i don't
know i don't know i
could if it's like you know i know i don't i guess spies have to hide all the
time i don't i wouldn't do
it i wouldn't do it um so no i didn't get asked to be a spy part of me was
almost low-key hoping i
would or something like that because i was like why are they having me come
over but uh but i didn't
get asked to be a spy i didn't get um what's it called when you get compromised
or whatever none of
that happened to me um i didn't even get an offer which that kind of bummed me
out but um yeah they
didn't ask me to say anything specific about their place or them or anything
all they did was just
treat me very nice i went with my tour manager and we got to wear the
traditional garbs it's uh
one of the thobes one of the nice robes i have a picture of of us in it on
youtube um i mean everybody
it looks kind of like an altar boy like everybody looks like an all you know it
looks like somebody's
about to get molested dude it definitely seems like they holding the damn molestable
you know like
like like but then you realize oh that's just the garb and it's just almost
like a private school
that's what i learned so that everybody wears the same thing so there's not
like a level of hierarchy
between um clothing or anything like that anything else about it that w