Name: Sketch | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #624
Uploaded: 2025-11-13T22:00:37.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Sketch | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #624' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Sketch | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #624' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-13. Transcript available.

Sketch | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #624

the new fall merch is here you can check out the hitter hunt club collection we've
got some
new camo items in there for that that i really enjoy as well we got some return
of the rat tour
merch we had some remaining merch and it's now available on the website theovonstore.com
and thank you guys so much for your support today's guest is a streamer he's a
content creator
he's been on the show before and uh and there's nobody quite like him uh he's
kind of he's
america's little brother i think that's who he is and uh and i'm grateful today
to get to spend time
with my friend sketch
um all right let's do our best here would you uh yeah a lot's happened since
you were since we you and i hung out man yeah it's been a it's been a roller
coaster you were you were just a red
old miss i saw yeah i've been trying to do like a college tour where i go
around kind
kind of do tailgates and then like stream from the field i'm trying to like uh
i mean i just kind of like watching college football so just trying to make it
the job pretty much like that that's kind of uh where i want to be
make it like the like like pat how pat magazine just like does whatever on esbm
will just do that for my job
i don't know i'm in the middle of like a of uh just trying to figure out what's
going on
yeah it's got it sometimes it's hard to think about long term yeah well i'm in
the middle of like a of uh just trying to figure out what's going on yeah it's
got it sometimes it's hard to think about long term yeah well i'm in the middle
of like a of uh just trying to figure out what's going on yeah it's gotta
sometimes it's hard to think about long term yeah well i'm in the middle of
like a of uh just trying to figure out what's going on yeah it's gotta
sometimes it's hard to think about long term yeah well i'm in the middle of
like a of uh just trying to figure out what's going on yeah it's gotta
sometimes it's hard to think about long term
well i think i know like we were last time we kind of talked like at not like a
lot or whatever it had been you've been thinking about getting in a streaming
you know yeah and i think you were kind of like trying to figure out what that
was going to be like has that been a good experience overall um it's been a
good experience it's just like streaming it's like so like instant gratification
so it like can be like i feel like mentally deteriorating to a certain point
like because like people you just sit there and like uh kind of like you're
getting
instant gratification with like either the numbers of like viewers and stuff
like that and like uh that's like the only downside besides that it's a fun job
i really do whatever whatever so when people ask me like they ask me on a tv
show they're like what do you what do you do i was like um i just hang out with
my friends pretty much
and just stream it yeah and what are some things that we don't even recognize
that streamers deal with that are like some of the tough things like what are
some things like um like does your back hurt after it or are there things where
like uh it's uh it's smelling like shit and then when people come up to you
why are you streaming in uh outdoors well you just start smelling you like you
just get pit smell you get like bad breath smell from talking all the time and
then people come up to you and it's like
oh i try to i try to keep my arms like this the tighter i am the probably the
more i smell the more i smell and when i i you can't refute
spilling bad on the internet you can't i don't think what do you mean by that i
don't understand you can't refute
if someone if someone says that you smell bad or if there's a clip of you
getting say someone going like
to your do your breath like doing that everyone's gonna think you have bad
breath for the probably like
the rest of your life yeah dude my friend uh his breath was just disgusting
dude and he knew it
and he liked it he liked it having bad breath he liked it huh he'd be like you
want this smoke and he
just oh he'd breathe right on you he'd come yeah come up behind you like on the
edge of you and just hit
you with something oh it's like a shitstorm almost yeah he was just like a
little duty sniper kind of no
duty sniper yeah he would just blast you out with it and his girl dude he ended
up dating a girl that had
bad breath and it was like they loved that it was like a more of a probably
acquired
taste thing i think once you go there it's like uh and you somebody else meets
you i bet it's nice
to first of all you never have to brush your teeth right your breath stinks so
people don't come and
bother you all the time if people know your breath stinks people leave you
alone dude it is it that's
it that's probably one of the positives if you don't like being talked to and
then three if you
have if your breath's horrible and somebody else's is you guys are just chewing
on each other's faces
like a couple little rabid little shit ponies or whatever i bet that's just
hype the worst thing
i've ever done to my lady is i would eat uh wasabi peas right before bed and i
wouldn't drink any water
and it would like kind of collect over here and then in the morning in i i gave
her a kiss and it and
that that that was the first time i've seen a look of of rancid a rancid look
of smell like smell from
her i i almost i it was almost gave her the ick that's that oral iwo jima you
hit her with huh it
is it's scary though that's that's one of the things that you can't you can't
have bad breath or
you're it's ruined like for me for me if you've like yeah you blew poop breath
in my face i wouldn't
be able to get over it for a while i dated a girl who breath smelled like ham a
little bit like or a
little bit of her mouth smelled like ham so you'd be around her and every now
and then you'd get a hit
of ham she probably has like a like a pretty nice hearty breakfast and then
just rocks it for the rest
of the day i don't know she didn't seem like a big breakfast eater but i just
there was always this
faint sense of ham and there were moments where i liked it like if we were
outdoors and stuff
but i was if i was at a movie and like every like seven or eight minutes you
just smell a little bit
of ham it would just make me just i don't know a little nausea it bummed me out
and you can't say
to somebody hey your yeah your breath smells like ham you need to fix this yeah
because then they're
like oh you're crazy dude do i look like a prison person with these no i i do
like the i do like the
the revealing of the ankles it looks like you should almost have like a ankle
bracelet on or something
oh i gotta get one we should get friendship bracelets i gotta get something
like get something on on your
ankle i noticed your swag is up dude you chained out huh yeah i went to johnny
dang one time how much
was that this one was 30. oh that's beautiful yeah but i was doing it in
celebration i'm from houston so
everyone had it's like it's like a thing to do there yeah you got to do it it's
part of the culture
would you ever what's like you would you ever buy jewelry no i bought these
glasses or i paid for
two pairs they said it was get one free but uh what's like your biggest thing
you indulge on then
probably you collect anything
no man i gotta get some good hobbies dude i gotta get some good stuff popping
um i've been going a lot
of football games too that's been like my new hobby yeah it is it's fun it's so
much fun dude did
you get to see lane kiffin down there i wanted to i didn't want to go to sturm
but he but he dm me
afterwards like you should have said what's up and i was like i figured you
were busy i was like i'm
not gonna go put a camera up in the coach's face bro lane is like he's one of a
kind dude i feel like
he might have tried to set me up on a date with his ex-wife dude really is she
good she good looking
yeah she's she's really good and you're not you're not dating diego pavia's mom
right yeah no they it
just never got set up really i feel like i've tried to make myself available
you know i just don't know
um just can't get a clear answer from her yeah you know and also he and i are
friends i don't want to
upset the friendship i don't want to like sit him down and have a talk with him
you know like clean your
room you know what i'm saying like i don't even know like that that would be a
little wild but yeah
so so it's like you know i don't want to press the issue she's great i feel
like we might just be best
as friends you know yeah i just saw the tick tock so i figured so you're you're
so you're dating
around or what do you do what do you do you just yeah 2025 i've been looking
for love it was supposed
to be 2020 why i was supposed to find a wife this year but it hasn't happened
what's your yeah dude
i think lane was trying to set me up with his freaking ex-wife dude he put us
in a group chat
right and then he's like i'll leave you two alone and he left the group chat oh
my god
welcome to the sip did it work where is she is she miss simi ladies are nice oh
she's a florida
girl actually i do know that there she is right there beautiful lady layla look
at lane dude god
he look he looks like he used to own a horse or something did you shoot did you
shoot a shot or
would you no i didn't because i can't really tell what's going on so i'm gonna
check in and see what's
up but yeah that was just a crazy thing he's like i'll leave you two alone and
then he exited just like
like homer simpson just fading into the bush and left you left you there to
yeah try to find marriage
yeah dude you don't get on any apps i'm not on the apps you on them um no i got
a girlfriend oh
you got a girlfriend yeah we live together it's pretty what yes dude when i saw
you last time you
were barely drinking enough water remember your kidneys were bad yeah but it's
to my kid you still
suck it is it's because you're not drinking any water water now i'm trying to i've
been drinking less
i've been drinking less less water no less alcohol oh good more water dude
remember when i saw you in
florida you were just like kind of glitching by the curtains last time i saw
you and it was i was
like get that guy a cup of water you gotta you gotta you gotta keep filling
that bubble i know once i
start feeling a pain in my kitty it feels like a kidney stone yeah oh you're
gonna roll dice out of
that bitch one of these days you're gonna hopefully i'll roll a lucky seven or
something you're gonna
i feel like it's this thing's gonna i don't know i i i only got one kitty so i
gotta take care of it
yeah that's what that's what i'm seeing you down to that one bubbler homie you
gotta you have to
stay hydrated dude imagine if you saw a fish tank right and there's an inch of
water in it and the
fish are trying to live in there that's pretty much what's going on because
every time i pee it's
really hot and then it's dark so maybe if there's a doctor in the comments and
they release i just don't
go to the doctor a lot do you do you do that i want to go online you can be you
can get on there
easy like hey what's up tell me what's wrong with my kidney and my wiener at
the same time
bro they'll shoot your kidney your wiener is that the same doctor is that
different doctors you think
these days it's all in one dude you can go to a dude who will prescribe you
he'll they'll email you a quarter blood they'll email you uh a little bit of trt
a pack of breath man
so they'll handle it all they got it all handled dude it's a one-stop shop i
was i was in mexico and
you can you can get like what's it what's the hg8 is it hgh the health is
health grown hormone
where you get jacked or whatever you can get that you can just get it okay just
get it oh yeah oh there's
a cream now too they'll rub it on you have you tried it before hgh no i've
never i can't try
because i have one kitty so i'll just be skinny fat for the rest of my life i
like kind of like just
have this awkward build yeah but it's a solid build i think the one thing that
gets me is my 