Name: Dave Smith | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #632
Uploaded: 2026-01-06T16:01:39.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Smith | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #632' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-01-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Smith | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #632' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-01-06. Transcript available.

Dave Smith | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #632

Today's guest is a comedian, he's a political commentator, he's a podcaster.
You may know him from his shows Part of the Problem and Legion of Skanks.
I caught up with him last time about a year ago, so I'm grateful for his return.
Today's guest is Dave Smith.
Good to see you, man.
You too, brother.
Yeah, we're going to go to Candace's after, that'll be fun.
Yeah, I'm looking forward to it.
The kids are so funny, dude.
Yeah, I bet.
Instead of playing hide and go seek, they'll play like, who killed Charlie Kirk?
So that's the craziest thing about Candace's kids.
Kids are talking about Egyptian military planes and shit.
Yeah, like instead of pin the tail on the donkey, they're like, it's like pin
the small wiener on the McCrone.
Like, yeah, they just have a different kind of like, I mean, yeah, their kids
are beautiful.
Sorry, let me just turn this off.
They're beautiful children.
I end up talking about them a lot.
I feel like it's like a little, I'm like, dude, do not bring up that lady's
kids again.
Well.
And I've never gotten to see mixed children up close that much.
Like, I just don't get it, you know, I've never had that kind of opportunity.
Really?
Yeah.
You didn't grow up with like mixed race kids?
Yeah, they had some mixed race, but a lot of them, the dad was gone or
something.
So.
Yeah, I mean, that's a mixed race.
Yeah, that's true.
So one of the parents was gone.
Yeah, and I don't want to just blame it on the dad, but one of the parents was
gone.
But yeah, I guess so.
Yeah, I guess I haven't seen it where both the parents are around and it's like
this functioning
like type of thing.
Yeah.
Okay.
Now that makes sense.
Mixed race functioning families.
Those are, those are rare.
Function.
Yeah, like something that could create a Ben Simmons.
Yeah, that's true.
I didn't see too much of that.
You know, weirdly, I knew now that I'm thinking about it, I knew black kids who
had a full family
together.
But all the mixed race kids that I'm thinking of didn't have dads.
Well, I think it's an inter, you know, when we were kids, it was probably a
tough, I don't
know if people were super geeked in some areas on like racial, like biracial
parents living
together or interracial relationships.
I remember we had a bus driver, this fellow Milford was his name, and he, like
he had a
lot, he'd done a lot of things wrong and one shouldn't have been driving
children.
And anyway, he would end up knocking up the lady that swept his bus out.
He knocked up the lady that swept out the bus, who was a black woman.
Can I just say, just, just on that.
Yeah.
Impressive.
Yeah.
That's an impressive thing to be a school bus driver and to just pull the black
chick who's
sweeping up your bus.
Like that's just a, that's a good place to start from to get laid.
You just, as a dude, you have to respect that.
Yeah.
Shout out Milford.
And he was a ginger too.
And this was a time when the science wasn't even there on them.
You know, there was.
And a black chick to like go back to her black friends and tell them she just,
she just fucked
a ginger bus, school bus driver.
Like that's, that's crazy.
Well, they probably thought she was coming up at that time.
It was different times.
Right.
Look at you, girl.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Shawty getting Irish.
Okay.
But the crazy, the crazy, the craziest part was, uh, yeah, I guess I could just
see him.
He's up there and he's like, just having a cigarette or having a dip or
something after
a, after a drive or a haul or whatever they would call it.
What do they call that?
A haul.
I think they would call it a haul.
You're hauling the kids to school.
My route.
Probably.
I think so.
Yeah.
That'd be your route after driving my route.
And, um, and he heard that broom start going in the back of that bus and he's
got him a
little, he starts scratching his crotch a little or some who knows brother.
That's love.
Hey, love can strike.
That's the craziest thing about love.
Like love doesn't know any boundaries between races or anything.
Yeah.
And it's a, it is at least to some degree an involuntary reaction.
Like you don't really get to choose.
Do you love, you know what I mean?
Like it kind of just happens to you and then you're like, ah, shit, I love this
chick now.
Yeah.
That's the tough, that's the tough part.
And then sometimes you don't find out till later, kind of, or you realize that
you were
just kind of messing it up, you know?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I know what you mean.
I had that with, um, but with my wife and with both my kids in a weird way,
where it's
almost like, I remember having moments.
It's like, you start realizing how deep you are in.
And I remember having this one moment with my daughter.
I think she was, she must've been like four months old.
So like, I'd been a dad for a while and I just haven't, like my, my wife was
like running
the supermarket and I was just like bouncing around my knee or whatever.
And she just, I don't know.
She was just like yawned or like looked at me in some way.
And I remember just having this realization where I was like, oh shit, like, I
love this
little baby.
And then I was, and then I just started having this panic attack.
Like I was like, something bad's going to happen to her one day.
Like something, you know, like no one gets through life without something bad
happening
to them.
And I was like, oh my God, like I have to deal with that.
It was just like nothing happened.
And I had already been in love with her.
It's just like, it just hit me.
Yeah.
Like, oh crap.
I'm in real trouble here.
I'm in for this gal.
Yeah.
And I still am.
Yeah.
That's great, dude.
One more year.
And then she's on her own.
Yeah.
But I'm still, I'm still in.
Yeah.
I guess that like, is a father daughter love different than a father son love?
Do you have each gender child?
I got one of each.
And yes, it's different.
It is.
Well, it's like a different, I definitely like, like my wife points it out a
lot and I
notice it too, but I'm definitely harder on the boy than I am on her.
Like there's just kind of a natural thing where you're just a little bit more
like, you just
have a more of a thing.
Like, you know, your daughter, when my daughter's three, if she like falls, I'm
like, oh, sweetheart,
are you okay with my son?
I'm like, come on, you're tough.
Get up.
You know what I mean?
Like you just have a little bit more of that.
And I definitely have more of like, um, I feel like more of a pressure to be
like a role
model for my son that I don't feel for my daughter.
It's a wife's job.
Yeah.
And, and also my wife's awesome.
She's like, she's really sweet and smart and she's a great person.
And so I always kind of felt like with my daughter, I was like, oh, well, she's
already
got an awesome role model, you know?
And like my job is just like to love her and to provide and protect.
But with my son, I was like, oh, I got to teach him how to be a man.
And then you're like, all right, I better figure out how to be a man real quick
so I
could teach him, you know?
Like, I don't know what that means.
And then it was just like, there's a lot more stuff with having a son as it, it,
uh, it,
it made me, uh, understand not having a father better in a way you're like, oh,
I get there
was supposed to be this here that there wasn't, you know?
And, um, and so yeah, it is totally different.
Like there's a, there's a different thing.
Like having a little girl, like you just like, like, I was just like, she has
me wrapped around
her little finger.
She knows that she always has my son.
It's a whole different thing.
Um, obviously I love them both equally, you know, it's not like more than the
other, but it
is a different, a different type of thing.
No, no, I've just never thought about it.
I've never thought about it from like, um, yeah, I guess, yeah, it's like the
mom would
probably be more the role model for the daughter.
I mean, obviously there's a father daughter relationship, but the, um, but the
mom would
be more of the role model.
I think I'm like, I'm the role model of what her expectation for a man is going
to be.
I think about that a lot.
You know what I mean?
I think about that, like the way I treat my wife in front of her and stuff like
that.
Like, I'm like, I always want to make sure that she, you know, you know, her
expectation
is that a guy would be really sweet to her and, you know, stuff like that.
Um, no, but with your boy, you're like, oh, I'm the one he's going to be like,
trying
to be like, and you're like, oh man, that's a whole pressure.
Don't be like me.
Yeah.
And then you see him one time being like you and you're like, oh, this kid is
screwed.
Yeah.
Right.
He's just vaping in the yard.
I'm off the vapes.
I don't vape anymore.
Dude, I'm off three.
I might be off almost a month right now.
I can't even believe it.
Were you smoking or vaping?
I was vaping.
Yeah.
I get scared of that shit, man.
I did it for so many years too.
Yeah.
Oh, I'm so risk adverse right now when it comes to vaping.
I won't even like any smokestacks.
I wouldn't even fly into Newark right now.
Like just because it's just the idea that there's some smokestacks in the
distance, like anything
could, could, uh, set you off.
Yeah.
You will.
You want to get through that, that beginning time for sure.
And I'm getting close.
So I can kind of feel that we're like, it doesn't even pop into my head.
The toughest parts are like, if I'm having a conversation in my car and I'm
driving, that's
kind of the time I would like it.
And then that's also the time where I'm most able to go get one.
Cause I'm like, I'm in transit.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
Pick one up.
So yeah, I know what you mean.
Well, it's as you get older too, like all those, the health things get scarier
because it's
not so like way off in the future anymore.
You're like, Oh, you're like, Oh, but you got to smoke for 30 years before that
does.
You're like, I'm at 30 years.
And you're like, Oh, all right.
Oh shoot.
All right.
But it's a different thing.
When you're 15, you're like, yeah, in 30 years, there's a problem.
Whatever.
Who cares?
What idiot would smoke for 30 years?
That's what you tell yourself at 15.
Yeah.
Right.
And then you go, if I make it another 30 years, that's fine.
Like I've had plenty of life, but actually then you're 45 and you're like, Oh,
50, whatever.
I got to start a Roth IRA.
That's when it gets weird, dude.
Everything's getting weird, man.
Dave Smith.
Good to see you, bro.
Yeah, dude.
You too, man.
Thanks for having me.
Yeah.
We met up around this time last year.
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah.
As we, it's funny that we set this up like really quickly and they snuck in a
regime change
war in between when you said it's 48 hours.
We planned this and they fit a whole regime change in that 48 hours.
Well, it's good to know that they're making them faster.
Here we are.
And it's happened, man.
The crazy, they had that, the photo came out of Maduro and his wife.
I guess they picked him up.
Well, the, the.
U.S. plans to run Venezuela and tap its oil reserves.
Trump says after operation to oust Maduro.
What were the actual, um, hours after an audacious military operation that
plucked leader Nicholas
Maduro from power and removed him from the country?
President Donald Trump said Saturday, the United States would run Venezuela at
least temporarily
and tap its vast oil reserves to sell to other nations.
Well, at least they're being honest about that part.
Yeah.
It makes you wonder kind of what's going on.
What were the exact attacks that happened?
Does it say like, did we go kill a bunch of people?
Yeah, we definitely killed some people.
Um, there were a bunch of attacks.
Uh, and then there was like an elite, uh, team that went and got, uh, that was
able to kidnap
Maduro and I know, so Mike Lee, the Senator posted on Twitter that he had spoke
to Marco Rubio and that Marco Rubio had said something like the other attacks
were like in service of the mission to get Maduro.
So like, I don't know what the, you know, taking out their defenses or