Name: FDNY Firefighter | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #637
Uploaded: 2026-02-04T01:04:32.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'FDNY Firefighter | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #637' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-02-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'FDNY Firefighter | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #637' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-02-04. Transcript available.

FDNY Firefighter | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #637

We've got new merch. The Year of the Rat hoodies just hit the site. We have
them in two colors and
they're made from my favorite hoodie template. We also have the winter sale
that's happening right
now. 20% off some of your favorites. You can get them before they're gone at
theovonstore.com
if you get a chance to go there. And if not, that is totally great as well.
Thank you guys so much
for the support. Today's guest is a retired firefighter and a veteran of the FDNY
here in
New York City, which is where we filmed. He spent 20 years serving with the
fire department in the
communities of Washington Heights and Queens and bravely served alongside many
others during 9-11.
I'm very grateful for his time and his service. He is what I would call a
legend. Today's guest is
Mr. Tony Bonfiglio.
Is it too hot in here for you, Tony?
No, I feel comfortable.
Okay. Yeah, what kind of temperature do you guys operate at?
Well, sometimes it's so hot. In the summer when we're out there in 90-degree
weather,
then you're putting a fire out. It's hot. You lose so much body water.
Yeah?
Yeah. It's like when you take off your turnout coat and your gear, it's like
you fell in a pool.
Have you ever started a fire where you had to pee in and by the end you didn't?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
That's what I'm talking about.
Kidding me?
Yeah.
And then sometimes you're so thirsty. I mean, there were times I was so thirsty
from pulling
ceilings and the plaster dust that I actually would... I look up and would take
water coming
off the drain pipe just straight into my mouth because I can breathe.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. It gets crummy. It gets pretty crummy in there.
Oh, I bet.
Yeah, it's shitty.
20 years, you were Tony Bonfiglio.
Yep.
And that's Italian.
That's Italian, man. My whole family's from East Harlem.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're Italian.
Yeah. It's fun, huh?
Yeah. Grew up in New Hyde Park. My father moved us out of the Bronx when I was
about six.
Yeah.
And we moved to New Hyde Park. That's like a town on the Queens borderline on
the suburb
side.
Bring it up. New Hyde Park?
New Hyde Park. Went to Herrick's High School.
What was it like back then?
Oh, it was great. It was like all blue-collar workers, you know, all the blue-collar
workers,
kids, you know. We had bus drivers, cops, firemen, truck drivers.
So, there's a nice suburb over there, huh?
Oh, it was great. Right over the city line. I mean, I had such a great
childhood. We had
so much fun running around, you know, doing all kinds of crazy shit back then.
Hot rods,
motorcycles.
Mischief, huh?
Yeah, mischief, rock and roll, rock clubs. Oh, in Long Island, rock clubs.
Listening to some Def Leppard, some ACDC?
Yeah, well, back then it was Twisted Sister, and, you know, we used to go to
the clubs and
see Twisted Sister, OBI. There was a bunch of good...
There was a bunch of good bands back then, house bands, but they would play,
you know,
all the cover songs. You had, like, Doors, you had Zeppelin.
Oh, yeah.
That was awesome.
Yeah, that's a beautiful time, dude. I think that's kind of a time that a lot
of people
romanticize as well, you know?
I think so. I always say that when I die, I hope the heavens like the 70s, man,
because
that was so awesome.
Kicked ass.
And you were on the FDNY for 20 years?
Yeah, 21.
21 years.
Yeah.
How did you get started? Like, what were you doing before you got into
firefighting?
Because things are going well. You're listening to Twisted Sister, you're...
Yeah, hanging out with the boys, you know, getting in trouble. I did get
arrested. I was at
Speaks Club once in Lido Beach, and I did get arrested there for... had some
weed and
a couple of other things on us. Yeah, we were young. We were... So, yeah, we
just... And
I was going nowhere. I went to college for, like, maybe three weeks.
Oh, yeah, that's not enough.
Farmingdale University. I went for food technology. I was going to be a meat
inspector.
Oh, really?
Oh, yeah. Thank God that didn't happen.
Yeah, hell yeah, dude.
Well, I was working in a meat factory when I was a kid, scraping hangar room
floors like
Paulie and Rocky, you know? I had the white coat on. I'm freezing.
Scraping the blood and the fat off these floors all day.
And what was that like over there? So, what kind of meats did they even have
going in and
out of there? Just big sides of beef, big factory, like, hanging rooms. Big
hanging rooms.
And would you be alone in there, or would you be a couple of...
Nah, there'd be other people, butchers coming in, grabbing their meat. It was
like a big
production place, you know, big time. Lots of trucks. They would give all the
meat out to all
the restaurants and everything. And that was right in Mineola.
Oh, that's pretty cool. And Mineola, is that here in New York?
Yeah, Mineola's pretty much right by New High Park.
Got it. So, you're over there. You're in there with the meat, you know? You're
in there at
night. Like Rocky hitting the meat.
Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure when nobody's looking.
Yeah, because that was right around the time, you know, so...
Oh, yeah. Oh, for sure.
Yeah, there we go. That's what it looked like.
Oh, definitely. Everything turned to veal after this came out.
Yeah.
You know, that was just... Bro, you couldn't get something that wasn't tenderized.
Yeah. It was funny because we were all kids, too. And you would, you know, all
this meat
after the place closed would be. But we never took an ounce of meat, you know,
back then.
Yeah. You got all this beautiful meat. You guys are just in there.
Oh, there would be like big tubs of filet mignons, all kinds of...
You guys are just in there beating it.
Yeah. And then I had a...
And so what happens? Yeah, you're in there, you're beating, you guys are
punching the meat
or whatever. And was that a common... Was that kind of a common future in your
area?
No, it was not at all. I just got a job there. My friends were all working
there. The whole
crew was working there. Oh, that's fun.
And we were the cleanup crew. So once the butchers were all done, we would come
in with
these high-pressure hoses and we would just hose this whole place down.
Y'all were just partying, probably.
Yeah. And then we'd oil it up with vegetable oil. It was a funny job. Yeah.
But what was the vegetable oil for?
Just make everything shiny and clean because we had online... The inspectors
were there.
There was two inspectors every day and they would inspect everything.
Oh, so it was pretty...
And if they didn't get their payola, then they would knock a machine down and
then they'd
have to rope the whole thing off and we would have to come in and clean the
machine and then
they'd inspect it again.
So it was a little bit of kind of a... Was it kind of a meat mafia kind of
going on a little bit
or something? Mafia, yeah.
Was it really?
Mm-hmm.
Wow.
It was owned by two Jewish brothers, the Collins.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
So you know something.
Something was afoot, you know? And so what makes you get out of there? Were
your friends
kind of graduating? Because I ended up working and, dude, me and like five of
my buddies worked
over there at, well, I think it was called Save-A-Center or something. It was a
grocery or
Winn-Dixie, maybe it was called.
Right.
Dude, one of my buddies would come, clock in, go home.
Yeah.
And then he would wake up and he'd come and clock out, dude.
Wow.
He worked there for like, yeah, he worked there for almost 11 months.
Oh, my God. Wow.
Dude. And the rest of us were afraid to do that, so we'd actually be in there
working.
Wow.
But we would during like... But it was so much fun as having your... Bro, there
was nothing
better, I think, than that time if you were either like late years of high
school or right
out of high school and you got to work with like your buddies who hadn't gone
all... Like
nobody kind of figured it out yet.
Yeah.
And you got to work with your friends.
That's what it was.
Oh.
Saturday morning, we'd all be banged up, you know, from being out drinking all
night.
We'd just be getting home.
Yeah.
And we had to go in Saturday morning to clean, to oil the whole place.
Oh.
So those were fun trips.
Yeah.
We'd had oil fights.
Oh, okay.
We'd get soaked in oil.
Oh, God.
I think we might pick up a new listenership here in this episode.
Oh, man, we would have some good oil fights.
Really?
Because you'd have these big squirt bottles and then we'd have these 55-gallon
drums of
oil.
What?
Yeah.
And was seed oil?
Yeah, it was vegetable oil.
Oh, Lord.
We wouldn't even do the trucks in the vegetable oil.
It looks like they got waxed.
What?
Yeah, they were all shiny.
And what vegetables was it coming out of?
I have no idea.
Look up vegetable oil.
I never even thought about that.
What could even have that much oil?
Maybe an eggplant?
What is vegetable oil made of?
Vegetables.
You'd think, but what?
They squish them.
Vegetable oil is made from the oils extracted from various plant parts like
seeds, fruits,
nuts, and grains most commonly, soybeans, corn, canola, sunflower, and palm.
Because that's kind of the oil that everybody's kind of against nowadays, you
know?
But I guess you guys were just using it to keep stuff shiny.
Shiny.
Wow.
Yeah.
I didn't even know people used it like that.
Yeah, we had these black trucks, and they would look all waxed after we were
done oiling them all down.
Yeah.
And it stunk, too, you know, because it was such a big place, and there'd be a
lot of, like, the bones and the fat, and you'd had to go in the pit sometimes.
It's like you would puke.
It was so bad smelling.
What was the pit?
It was kind of, like, below the floor.
Yeah, that's where all the water would drain into there.
And every now and then, our boss would have to go in there.
I'd see him reaching in there.
He'd have, like, fat on his glasses and shit.
It was, oh, it was gross.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, dude.
Yeah, no, I didn't want to stay there.
God, yeah.
It was cold.
It was cold in there, too?
Oh, and there was freezers there, and the guys that worked in the freezers, you
never saw them.
They looked like they were from the Antarctic.
They had these hoods and these parkas, and they were big boots.
And you'd see them now and then.
They were kind of scary, you know?
You were a kid.
You're like, there's the freezer men, you know?
Because they never came out of the freezer.
Yeah, dude.
Oh, that's fucking wild, yeah.
Be living in there, just hiding from your wife and kids, probably in there.
Oh, God.
That's when family life's bad, when you're like, I don't care how cold it is, I'll
stay in there.
Yeah, yeah, that's bad.
That's the last job you want, is working in a freezer.
Yeah?
Oh, I think so.
That was the end of the line.
And what kind of guys would do it?
Was it tough guys?
Was it Russians?
Who was doing it?
Tough fucking guys.
Yeah.
Archer's, psychos.
They got their own toolbox of knives, you know, the big.
A couple of times they would pick you up by your shirt, you know?
Because we were just the kids, you know?
We were running around.
Any of them ever get arrested for crimes or anything like that, like you think?
Were any of them low-key like Dexters or like kind of that kind of guy?
Yeah, yeah.
They were low-key, but strange, some of them.
Yeah.
Dang, that's watch.
And then you had the women, they were the packers.
Oh, they were?
Yeah, they would like pack the chickens and all that.
Oh, gift wrapping?
And then wrap it and everything, yeah.
Women do better gift wrapping.
And they had like tough women, too.
They were working.
It was like the boss of the women was a real tough broad.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Some girl with a tattoo of Richard Dent on that.
Yeah, smoking.
Everybody would be out smoking.
Yeah, your smoke breaks.
Oh, yeah.
And then the guy would come with the roach coach and call you out for your
coffee and shit.
He would?
Yeah, the coffee roach, you know?
The roach coach is here and everybody would come out.
You know what a roach coach is?
Uh-uh.
It's a coffee truck.
All right.
Back in the day, they would come to like factories.
Oh, so it just