Name: Ep. 205 - Youtube Live
Uploaded: 2020-04-30T19:48:37.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep. 205 - Youtube Live' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-04-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep. 205 - Youtube Live' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-04-30. Transcript available.

Ep. 205 - Youtube Live

Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Check, check, check.
Check, check, check.
Check, check, check.
Check, check, check.
Check, check, check.
Check, check, check, check.
Check, check, check, check.
Right.
Then YouTube like feeds audio back to the board.
And then I guess that feeds that back through Zoom or something.
I don't know.
There's some kind of echo.
So I guess I just have to have YouTube closed.
Yeah.
I think that's probably it.
Check out my background, dude.
That's cool.
What is that?
John Wick 5?
John Wick.
Yeah, it's me.
It's two John Wicks.
His twin brother.
John Wick and his twin brother reunite to get pussy for the first time.
Yeah.
Because John Wick hasn't gotten pussy.
Because John Wick hasn't gotten pussy.
Because John Wick hasn't gotten pussy.
One of the downfalls of the movies, I would say.
Yeah.
Well, all right.
Then, I mean, I guess this is already streaming.
It's like good to go.
I mean.
Okay.
I don't know where Adam is.
He hasn't.
Yeah.
He hasn't responded to any text this morning.
Maybe, like, he's got his own shit.
So, you want to just get started with three?
Sure.
All right.
Let me go make a coffee then.
Okay.
I'll take a piss.
Yeah.
Piss, coffee.
We'll reconvene here.
Okay.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Okay.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Hello everyone, welcome to the Apple Stop Receipts and Apple Stream.
let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
Let's go make a coffee then.
I can't even see the chat so I can't even talk to you little fuckers.
Just to catch up with me I did a fucking home pump yesterday but I think I
fucking squatted
too hard because my asshole my bone my tailbone hurts right now.
I can't sit I'm at my standing desk actually check it out it's going down what
if I lowered
it all the way to my dick is this the first time I've used it as a standing
desk yes.
Mamma mia there he is Adam says he's he's in there.
Hell yeah.
Yo hey you're hello what what the fuck is good what's up damn dude you're
looking jacked Adam shut up you're looking good man you look like a
I thought you're being sarcastic no I mean I am but no I'm not exactly being
sarcastic it's sarcasm towards the outfit not towards your body I don't have
anything clean right now.
Your body's cute though and don't let anybody tell you otherwise.
Okay I'm recording anyone else but yeah I'm also recording uh let me go yeah
mama mia please shut up all right I'm recording as well.
There we go all right yes this this has already been going on for like five
minutes it's probably not the best way to do it because you've been
broadcasting yourself.
Yeah well I didn't there's no like um there's no like green room or whatever
well I mean I guess there is in zoom you just wait and then don't hit live
until you just don't hit what live yeah yeah but I just want to make sure
everything's set up.
That's cool because you got to post the link to patreon like because it's not
with crowdcast you can post an hour before and then you just wait to go live I
see with this you have to like go live then go into the event edit it I mean
there's probably a smarter way to do it I just don't.
Yeah right I don't know how but let's let's ask Bobby he does what yeah so you
know you got to see behind the scenes uh uh you know what it's what it's really
like to be the boys outside of broadcast time you know.
Dude it's just like try it now what about now I have to shit hold on I have to
shit kind of that kind of stuff.
Yeah yeah definitely like let me go make a coffee okay I'll piss they like that
yeah that's the kind of that's that's the kind of crazy world that we're some kooky
guys that we live in outside of uh you know doing the show yep before dude I'm
standing up I got a full range of motion when I do now is that because of your
your tailbone issue with well I just figured I'm not going to sit too much
today let my ass cheeks get a rest.
Where is the pain the pain is right at the tail that the bottom of the tailbone
almost but it hurts when I squat and I did some really wide squats yesterday so
it hurts when I come back up I think it's not a muscle issue it's about your SI
joint I mean it could also be a muscle issue there's a lot of things down a lot
of stuff man be a nerve issue could be nerve I used I would get to say I don't
know if it's the same thing but if I drive for like 12 hours when I get out of
the car when I straighten up it's like being like stabbed in my
tailbone oof yeah it might be something similar yes I mean I'm sitting all we're
all sitting fucking I don't know about you guys I'm sitting a ton no I'm not I'm
mostly pacing around I'm at the workstation yeah I'm at the battle station I
got my two monitors right now I'm looking at them right now I'm looking at you
guys like I'm looking at fucking audition like a stockbroker exactly yeah
exactly right
um I don't know if you guys know somebody found my keys what yeah are you
serious who I don't know where I was out like uh working on a car this morning
how did they how they know they're yours you had you had your name there nice
background it's Bob Dylan I know what it is it's Howard Stern
tell me tell me Baba Booey did you know I make shitty music also yeah it's
Howard Stern wearing his
his uh microphone Baba Booey my music sucks and I'm gay yeah no I'm not even
gonna debate it some old guy just
came by he's like yeah uh did you lose like keys for your car and how did he
know they were yours though
I was gonna I'm telling the story maybe yeah Adam maybe if you just give him
one second
I'm sorry he will answer he was in the process of answering yeah that's the
last apology you're
getting all episode
that you broke you broke your smoking vape on on screen rule you look like a
dumb bitch
yeah I might have to take coffee how does Bane drink coffee that's a great
question because I'm sure
you gotta wake up to be Bane you know it's like uh uh what do you call it he's
got a um you don't want
to see me I've had my coffee before I've had my first cop Mondays Mondays am I
right no Mondays are more of a
cunt than the office cunt then uh the stocks the what or whatever the fuck I'm
against can you call
people cunts in an office no it depends what office yeah yeah maybe Gary Glenn
Ross situation you can
yeah the the cops yeah it'd be funny when Gary Glenn Ross but there's just like
two women that work in
clerical positions in that office just getting abused not even getting abused
just all of that going on
while a woman's like fucking calling her husband on the phone yeah they're
probably tuning it out
they're professionals just doing dumb bitch stuff yeah yeah they're nails yeah
filing complaining
yeah being mad when they're racist towards the Indians or whatever yes well I
got my keys so
what's going on with you what's what's new guys in the well I did a I did an
apartment pump yesterday
that I'm really proud it was really felt good that man and the little boy what
do you mean an apartment
pump the pump dude it's a home people people keep messaging me uh texting me
also to go gallery view
not speaker view nick okay how do I do that it's on the top right corner
perfect
does it well I did it now yeah okay all right should be good so we're working
out the kinks does
anyone message you that the audio is fucked up still or no uh I can ask Joe I
don't believe there's any
audio issues wait what no it was when I first like before I closed YouTube
there were people in the
chat saying that the audience oh really yeah kind of fucked up I can't see the
chat because we're just
into right I know but if you open up YouTube it'll Jonas says the audio is good
okay because it was like
it was like fucking well I don't know the not Jonah I said he's cute yeah tell
which which one's Jonah
again well he'll see it on the stream shut the fuck up Nick he's not even you
could you know him
look at his mischievous little eyes under his fucking balaclava I like that I
can tell that I know what
your face looks like underneath it yeah because we're friends of course you
know what my face looks
like everyone no I know what face you're making expressions yeah well it's
mostly in the eyes see
that's the thing is like this runs counter to the theory that my eyes are dead
oh we see what's going on here this whole thing is to prove you don't have dead
eyes
that's why I set up the whole quarantine I faked the whole thing just to prove
to everyone
you have expressive eyes expressive eyes no you're not
now you're overdoing it yeah that's a way to have extra dead eyes to overdo it
to overdo it
you can have you can have expressive brows why do we even have bottom eyelids
the only expressions
that bottom eyelids can relate are like I'm gonna burn all your stuff you know
it's like it's always
just like insane it's for instance the top eyelid goes down all the way when
you sleep it's like how
men have nipples and they don't need them we also have bottom eyelids that we
don't need they're like
those are female vestigial organs that only exist crazy dumb bitch to be a
bitch to be a bitch
you know to like just I don't know man I think maybe I'm gonna once quarantine's
over I'm gonna
start getting my titty sucked you're gonna get them licked on I think so by who
Adam no women
no Adam would you suck on you would you would think it's very funny to do that
if there was a poison
in it maybe to suck on you kill yourself in a heroic suck of course oh to get
the poison out of me
okay Romeo and Juliet sort of situation yeah if he if the snake bit his nipple
I would gladly suck it to
save my friend would you tickle my nuts and kiss my neck back and forth while
you did it well if the
snake this also yeah the snake the snake also had a little poison in my neck
and the only way to get
the antibodies going is to stick it's in testicles so you'd have to tickle my
nuts and kiss my neck and
then suck my tits at the same time it's so cool how much we're learning about
science now that there's
a corona I fucking love science I can't get enough yeah so but I'm just kind of
basically what I'm trying
to do there Nick is to fight back a