Name: Cum Town 5/20/20 - Episode 208
Uploaded: 2020-05-20T22:46:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Cum Town 5/20/20 - Episode 208' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-05-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Cum Town 5/20/20 - Episode 208' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-05-20. Transcript available.

Cum Town 5/20/20 - Episode 208

what's up pop what's up pop you how are you shit i really like it tan and i'm
gonna get
fucking long hair what do you what are you munching on cashew i'll shop for the
broadcast
nice i love a nice cashew it is quite nice
i'm with cashew butters
i'm recording me too me check to check
okay all right
what's up boys how we doing
i think there we go and that should fix the audio thing whatever that issue was
that should be
resolved now yeah it didn't do it i don't think it did it how do i sound to you
guys good
sounding good a little loud i don't want to finish it all the way to zero
we should do the podcast completely just at zero we talk for an hour it exists
but it's a visual
product though yeah but it's really low it's some avant-garde shit dude
we could become like podcast artists like that lady that pulled the pussy out
of her scroll
or what scroll out of her pussy
what are you talking about there's a lady who pulled a famous like performance
artist pulled a
scroll out of her pussy
who that one bitch marina no not her the one that she jacked her whole shit
from
really yeah you don't know about this wow ory well the story the thing about
the story is i know a lot of
details other than some bitch pulled a scroll out of her pussy so that's number
one i don't know man it was about fucking lady scroll pussy
it was about feminism or something it's like in the 60s carol carol carol carol
sheneman
damn i guess women have just been doing dumb shit for like decades prior to the
quarantine
and we were told that that was important how much of like how much of like
women's creative output is
entirely dependent on the cia inventing modern art
it's just the way it's just yeah meaningless they just yeah he's like all right
jackson you're just
gonna fucking do a bunch of shit that looks like cum and you bitches just put
some things in your
pussies right and that'll be that we're worried art might do something like
stop the vietnam war so
we're gonna let women have their period and we're gonna say this is the best
art in the world in the
middle of a gallery yeah we're gonna have someone like marina abramovich hang
out with child rapists
globalists that control everything establish their legitimacy and kind of feed
into this system
and every uh yeah dude they had some good ass art on little saint james dude
yeah apparently okay so
this is called interior scroll you know they said it was so weird that epstein
had that like painting
of bill clinton in the dress but what would be really weird is if he had that
like the poster that's
like the the oil painting of kramer if jeffrey epstein had like like just from
like spencer's gifts
cult fiction yeah bob marley smoking a joint we need a felt poster line yeah
one of those glow-in-the-dark
alien felt posters every sexual position in the zodiac yes the the best one is
the beer pong one with
those two ladies with the big ass fake titties yeah but he wasn't in the big
fake titties i guess
that's interesting if you're a pedophile i guess you don't you're not you're
not oh that
if you're a titty man it means you can't be a pedophile how about that
i think that's i don't i think all the titty guys are always just pedophiles no
yeah how dare you by very nature of being a titty man you can't like children
no yeah it's nick's right i have tits it's a charade it's what it's a charade
you have a charade small
you already have tits why would you want it because you know they're a
different quality of
four he wants four yeah once it's a different i don't want four i want to i
want to i have tits
he's already got four about four and a half no four through four and five four
and seven eighths
thank you very much the point is there are different kinds of tits and you know
that
these are man titties they don't they're not round they don't feel good in your
hand
they're they got hair on them it's not the same thing it's like legs you have
an ass do you want to
fuck your own ass no ladies ass i don't have an ass and i'll never have a big
beautiful woman's ass
exactly correct i don't have tits the way a woman has tits okay if you say so
you get i don't you
would if you saw hold on if you saw if you're about to a girl and yeah someone
has tits like mine
yeah it would be like nice same women have awful tits you just haven't have
awful tits well i don't
want i guess the solution is to get nicer tits there's no such thing as men's tits
you have
a bad pair no there are first of all there's breast tissue and like that they
feel different
even ladies with little ass titties have something have some it feels like more
bouncy a woman's tits
feel more bouncy than a man's tits even the smallest lady titties have a little
bit of that flubber type
atmosphere which is what tits feel like kids feel a lot like flubber the best
titties feel like flubber
and they bounce flubber is a uh it's a movie i know that but i have the i can i
can think about
what it might feel like so to describe what titties feel like you chose
something you've never literally
you've never felt no one's felt no but it's you can imagine what it again this
is a problem there's a
limit of imagination with you two motherfuckers and i have none of that i don't
know man governor
the governor you've never felt titties before yourself i felt plenty of titties
you got real defensive when i said the titty guys are just pedophiles
you know a lot about marina abramovich no i don't you see you seem to be i don't
know
a lot about her you've got a new world order background going on
there's been an there's been an uptick in your you've been saying like you know
just slipping in
conversation like hey i think globalism is pretty good and i have been saying
that it streamlines the
markets you said you keep saying things like i hope they put the vaccine in
sour patch kids
yeah because that way it saves me a trip to the doctor what's wrong with that i
get a nice snack
and a vaccine i don't see the issue there at all and that's the kind of the
government
should be working on it's true you have been leaving uh crumbs of of clues
everywhere and i really
haven't put it together very much because i'm eating my whole muffins doing a
shirt that's like the
cover of clue but like you have to suggest that clue is like the board game
clue yeah
like they're trying to figure out who's a pedophile and all the characters look
regular but then
there's one guy that's just clearly a pedophile
it's like miss scarlet colonel mustard um mr fingers oh yeah uh yeah ruby randolph
is mr
fingers the pedophile yes okay i didn't remember if that was one of their names
you just like
you play that version of clue and every game ends with like oh it was mr
fingers in the in the nursery
whoever gets to go first wins
you know what i loved as a kid as a small autistic boy the uh include a little
like manila envelope
that said confidential on it that you put the cards in yeah you liked it i
agree with that big time
dossiers i did i like those yeah a small dossier there was some good there was
some good in the
movie clue i'm gonna try to do that make a board game about the steel dossier
to sell the children
at urban outfitters or wherever liberals buy that bullshit you know they're
like like the good night
moon parody that's like good night
fucking president
and then it's like it sells 80 million copies yeah where do they buy that like
what store carries
that is it urban outfitters i don't know that guy jeff tried dick whatever his
name is that guy's my
favorite guy that responds to everything trump says oh yeah who the is that guy
jeff tried
he's a guy that probably has an inverted penis that he's a fucking loser dude
yeah that guy
he hasn't had a single nice own on him once never he's got an invaginated penis
it's great because the wind up is there you could tell he thinks he's about to
drop a ball dude
every time hey president dick suck
president dick suck is pretty good yeah i would love it if honestly it would
fucking rule if donald trump tweeted first like we're sending the police to jeff
dedrick's house
to shoot him in the chest and then he's like this is a this is supposed to be a
fuck democracy shit ass and then the police on the news there's a helicopter
they just kick down the
door to his house and just blast him
trump retweets body cam footage yeah we don't have to be like this is i mean we
live in a prison this
is this is this is not normal sir this is worse than nazi germany but uh it's
it's pretty funny
it is fun look man you keep you keep barking eventually you're gonna get clapped
back man
squeaky wheel gets degrees is he just a guy is he like a writer like he seems
like some kind
of shitty journalist or something what is one of the guys is the producer of
this is us but it's not him
he's just some like really i don't know probably jewish probably palmer adam
hold on that's the
other one adam probably or jeff jeff tedrick for sure that sound that doesn't
sound jewish look at
his face it doesn't sound jewish but he looks i don't know man i think that's
either like dutch or
german or some i think that's just a regular white guy he's just annoying i
guess i think that's just a
white guy with a shitty beard that's annoying yeah really yep that ticks all
the boxes but somehow
why does he have 350k followers because of that trump he was like nobody before
all this
happened oh he's got a patreon for a hot 244 a month that's gonna be that's
gonna be me in three years
just responding to all of president stacey abrams tweets yeah nice try you fat
that black
president is at it again please donate to my patreon where i get 150 a month
and buy buy my my my parody of the hardy boys
called you president black lady
i mean can you imagine like the conservative inversion of like i mean because
the conservatives
do a lot of dumb gay you know oh yeah being obsessed with that snake they love
that
fucking dumb that fucking bitch ass snake and it's got a german name doesn't it
what's that
shit called the gadston flag oh it's the god stuff like yeah yeah i thought it
was called like the
dusendorf snake or some shit that would be cool dude i would and i would be way
cooler that would be my
favorite minor league baseball team yeah i'm a big fan of the dusendorf racist
snakes
yeah they're a short season team but i go to every i would go crazy every
single game i'm there
i think the new kicker for the patriots had to apologize because he had the gatson
flag tattoo
no it wasn't the gatson flag he had like some something something i thought it
was a gatson flag
no there's some kind of like rate like racist group tattoo that he had or
something some kind
of like white supremacist flag tattoo biden's kind of getting my respect
recently because uh
i don't know if you saw him just isolating that sound clip adam saying
biden's getting my respect recently and then his poll numbers just dropping
i'm doing i'm doing a little just no no because he had stacy abrams on like a
joint television
appearance and she thought she was going to be announced for vice president and
you just saw on her
her face sink wait really yeah it was great that's hilarious i thought it was a
pretty good prank
everybody's sucking that lady off but what the is she nobody sucking that lady
off the washington
washington post wrote this like glowing profile of her that was just absurd
that's what
i mean like the mainstream is sucking her titties and i felt like a year ago i
barely read it but yeah in
the washington post it's like she hits the stage flashes everywhere and it's
like okay well we we know
anybody knows that there is no flash photography in this you're describing a
this is fiction this is
absolutely fictional and it doesn't exist she hits the stage a crowd of admirers
screams stay see stay
see yeah that's not happening anywhere she's talking about like a literally a
fashion show you compared it to a fashion show and then you lied and said it
was a fashion
i don't yeah what has she done hyperbole you'r