Name: The Adam Friedland Show Episode 2
Uploaded: 2023-01-05T22:25:21.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Adam Friedland Show Episode 2' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Adam Friedland Show Episode 2' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-05. Transcript available.

The Adam Friedland Show Episode 2

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the Adam Friedland show video episode patreon
video episode number one
test episodes video test video test to longer this time
creeps people out we'll figure this out later ladies and gentlemen welcome you
can say it now you're on ladies and gentlemen welcome to the Adam Friedland
show I'm your host Adam Friedland the date what is it August 3rd and I'm
2020 I'm your producer and you're my producer Nicholas Millions guys it's the
Adam Friedland show ladies and gentlemen and we're live here from the matrix
no folks it's CGI computer generated imagery a trick of the camera it's fake
but let me ask you this is it any more fake than the absolute clown world that
we're living in
you know because we must be living in a fake circus world if Donald Trump is
walking free Donald Trump the mastermind behind the greatest and deadliest
attack on American democracy the grand plot to destroy America the rape of the
capital the racist insurrection of all insurrections a crime
so grave and broad it makes the Holocaust look like a like I don't know okay it
makes the Holocaust look like common shoplifting it's not what what's the
problem I don't know about that copy okay
um if you haven't been paying sorry is it any so just so we're clear well and
again we gotta we gotta we gotta start I know yeah and it's it's it's it's
obviously it's my fault I'm the one that's writing it wrong but
but just so I know because I'm not you know we we just need a teleport it's not
a it's not a complaint but you know if like I could get oh whoop I think uh
where is it
I got it I got it okay all right uh it's not a complaint but if you know you
could give me if you could air this feedback you know because we finish
recording and then you leave
and I'm I stay here and I clean everything up and no I mean if you had notes
for the next time you know like hey don't talk about the Holocaust
it seems like we were talking about the Holocaust I know but at this I'm saying
in that we're saying that the Holocaust is bad
yeah but I feel like we should move on from the Holocaust not as culturally but
as a reference point for the show
what would you if you wanted to say because look it's your show it's your voice
you want to express how bad the January 6 is
is it worse or better than the Holocaust well you said it makes the Holocaust
look like common shoplifting
so that actually diminishes the but that's how bad January 6 is yeah but I don't
think it's worse than okay
let's keep going with okay I'm sorry all right no you don't have to apologize I
don't want an apology
but I'm going to say the Holocaust was the greatest crime the greatest thing
that's ever happened
is that what you want not the greatest thing that's ever happened quite quite
the opposite
in terms of it's like the it's like the sliced bread of crimes is that what we're
going for
it's the great in terms of crimes it's the greatest thing sure okay yeah but it's
not the greatest thing
in general it's the worst thing it's the world war one of crimes no I don't
know about that
why okay let's keep let's keep going what I'm saying if you think about all
wars world war one probably the worst
yeah so the Holocaust is the world war one of okay in the way of crime I don't
know about this shirt also
but you picked it out that was your shirt well I just I don't know I was
excited in the store but I don't know
I didn't realize it was a notorious big shirt yeah it's different picture
clearance for that
we might have to get that editor yeah okay white all right let's um
okay we'll change it we'll change all of these to Ruth Bader Ginsburg do we
have clearance for that
yeah of course okay she's public domain when somebody dies they're public
domain he's dead too
well you get into a weird territory in terms of owning a black person I want to
rethink that
that's a good idea bringing that up yeah that's true all right especially if
you're going to lecture me
about I'm not like holocaust is if I don't if I'm not like you know like I know
I've heard of people
that have you know I went to the museum so it affects me as much as it does a
Jewish person I don't
want to okay I just want our work I went I walked through the museum I had an I
I had the emotions
that you can access as far as the holocaust is concerned yes I may be just some
Irish fucking
faggot or whatever but I wouldn't say that but yeah I've I've been to the holocaust
museum yeah and I had an
emotional connection there mm-hmm they sell like little passports of the
victims you like that part
I did I thought that was cool to have it's like you're a Jason Bourne you can
open it up you have
like a pass I thought it was really cool yeah you could do that you could show
a holocaust
actually the border died in the holocaust actually my name is my name is Daniel
Finkelbaum
I was born in 1919 my name is Masha Rosenblum yeah exactly and my father was
upset that I was
leaving the secret annex to go learn how to read uh-huh at the library against
his wishes yeah
exactly and that's now I've killed all of us by trying to learn yeah yeah it
was all her fault yeah
okay so do you want should we go back to the monologue because we we must be
living in a
fake circus world of Donald Trump is walking free yeah Donald Trump the mastermind
behind the greatest
and deadliest attack on American democracy the grand plot to destroy America
the rape of the capital
the racist insurrection of all insurrections a crime so grave and broad it
makes the holocaust
look like common shoplifting mm-hmm okay let's just move on from that I mean it's
just it's a test this
this isn't the actual show yeah we don't have the set yet but um but you can't
see where I am so yeah okay
so I'm gonna just guys where we haven't bought a teleprompter we have bought we
bought two
we tried with the iPad but okay then he couldn't see it from this side of the
room and you notice we're in
the smaller room because this is the one with the green screen right we're in
the break this is the
second room where we film remotes sketches anyway okay we don't we don't have
we will see um okay
okay
so I'll go from the last
okay yeah um maybe try the line just I'm not gonna be pushy
but try to learn more time to see if
okay I thought that would be the big Donald Trump
the mastermind behind the greatest attack this line is sort of the holocaust
of the monologue mm-hmm because it's the best part
mm-hmm okay all right I I'm not gonna take that bait but okay we'll just we'll
just continue
okay all right all right all right okay all right hmm okay uh Donald Trump the
mastermind behind the
greatest and deadliest attack on American democracy the grand plot to destroy
the American capital the rape of the
the capital the racist insurrection of all insurrections a crime so grave and
broad it makes the Holocaust
look like common shoplifting
I don't know if that's a lie okay
okay
now okay now if you haven't been paying attention to the January 6 hearings I
don't blame you
they're hard to stomach it probably makes me feel as revolted as Stormy Daniels
did when she saw Donald Trump's penis
which she refuses to say is small for some reason but we all know it is
in fact she doesn't even have to say it
I know my penis is bigger than Donald Trump's
it's pretty good
that's pretty funny
I don't know that's an applause not a laugh
I don't know it's a good one
I don't know it's a good one
I don't know it's a good one
I don't know it's a good one
I don't know it's a good one
I don't know it's a good one
I don't know it's a good one
I don't know it's a good one
I don't know it's a good one
I don't know it's a good one
I don't know it's a good one
I don't know it's a good one
I don't know it's a good one
I don't know it's a good one
I don't know it's a good one
I don't know it's a good one
I don't know it's a good one
I don't know it's a good one
I don't know it's a good one
I don't know it's a good one
I don't know it's a good one
I don't know it's a good one
I don't know it's a good one
I don't know it's a good one
I don't know it's a good one
I don't know it's a good one
I don't know it's a good one
I don't know it's a good one
penis stuff
we'll make a note
less holocaust more penis
center left
besides the anti-semitic line
the hearings wrapped up last week
with the select committee taking a break
on the issue for the summer
because I guess something has
something as important as democracy
can't wait until beach season is over
that's funny
we're gonna have to pad the laughter on this one a little bit
we're patting it
I feel like this one will have to uh
pat it
it's not a very good
yeah
we're gonna sweeten it a bit
we shouldn't have pissed off that Tucker guy
I think
yeah well you mean
cause he was dude calling Ruth
what's her name
you said you wanted more center left stuff
so this is about as good as it gets
for center left stuff
we're gonna find our voice
don't worry
this is a test they know
okay
okay
and
the latest development
is a bombshell folks
and then
we'll have like a
yeah
yeah
well that note's going to the editor
he'll throw all that in there
okay cool
um
Alex Jones has accidentally
sent all of his text message and emails
to opposing counsel
and now they're being requested by the committee
which can only mean one thing
Alex Jones is about to go to prison for life
and that could not make me any happier
which brings us to today's theme folks
spite
spite
spite
is it really that bad to be spiteful
I'm not out here trying to be a good person after all
I'm a progressive woman minded and sexually conscious rape hating liberal
I love gay people
I love trans people
I'm not supposed to have room in my heart
wait room in my heart
oh for spite
yeah
yeah
I'm not
it just says I'm not supposed to have room in my heart
maybe that was a Freudian slip
I don't think you have room in your
yeah
go ahead
keep going
yeah
yeah
but often I find myself fantasizing about getting revenge on people I've never
even met
some things I'll never
some things I'll just make
some things I'll just make them up whole
oh okay
sorry
this is a clumsy
I'm sorry for that clumsy read
go ahead
yeah
I mean sorry if you don't want to do it we can
I don't know
okay
we're already at 12 minutes for the monologue
but we don't have a guest this time
so I feel like it's uh
we gotta pad things out with the monologue
we're gonna have to pad
we're gonna have to pad
Dan really carried the show on Sunday
I think we all got
at patreon.com/cumetown for now
okay
if you want to check that out we had a lot of fun
also
uh coming up two weeks I will be at Irvine California
okay
Irvine improv
I'll be there
we are trying to move these tickets
I'm either having Mike Racine or Brandon Wardell open
I forgot
that's fun
I forgot who I requested but please
come on out folks
if you want to check that out
the Irvine improv in Irvine California
you can check my website
you can check their website
uh
you can check my social media
I'll be posting about it on social media
that's a place you can find it
um
okay
tell your friends
all right
Irvine improv
Irvine California
it's about 45 minutes away from Los Angeles
it's in the Orange County
yeah
if you're in Los Angeles
you want to come to a comedy show
drive on down 45 minutes outside of rush hour
easy
as it shows
what
seven eight o'clock
that's driving down there
you're getting the tail end of rush hour
at most
yeah
you'll be in your seats
maybe you'll be a little bit pissed off from driving
but you'll have
you've driven
and you're gonna laugh
it's over
now you're ready to laugh
and when you're driving home
rush hour is over
you've forgotten all about it
yeah
so it's the hot the Irvine improv
in Irvine California
August
within the window of the 17th through the 22nd
okay
I can't remember the exact dates
yeah
go ahead and just to be safe
block off that whole period
yeah
if you're a Los Angeleno
you have access to a large network of your Latino family
or your underground midnight club car racing friends