Name: Cold Open: Episode 013 | The Adam Friedland Show
Uploaded: 2023-01-19T19:14:54.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Cold Open: Episode 013 | The Adam Friedland Show' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Cold Open: Episode 013 | The Adam Friedland Show' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-19. Transcript available.

How did you come up with the Adam Friedland show?
How did I come up with the Adam Friedland show, it's a good question.
It came to me in a dream.
I was behind a desk and there was these big shining lights and I noticed just
silhouettes
of hundreds, maybe thousands of people in the audience, all types of people.
Guys, lesbians, like all different types of people.
I looked to my right and it was the guy that played Niles from Frasier, David
Hyde Pierce.
And I just started asking him questions.
And I could really feel the energy coming from the audience.
They were laughing.
And I woke up and I turned to my mom and dad and I was like, I think I got it.
I think this is a Eureka moment.
I think I figured out what I'm going to do after Comedown ends.
And I described the dream and they were like, well, I think that's just a talk
show.
But I was like, yeah, I know.
But, you know, what is a talk show?
You have talking.
We all do talking.
We talk every day.
I talk to my friends and family.
But it's a show too.
You're doing it for the people.
It's something for the pleasure of the audience.
It's about pleasure.
It's about the pleasure of the audience.
Wait, sorry.
One second.
How long have we been going for?
What kind of worn out?
Seven, eight minutes, maybe?
Let's just take it.
Let's take ten.
All right.
I'm going to get coffee.
You want a coffee?
I want to go home.
All right, I'll get you a coffee.
What's up?
Can I talk to you for a second?
Yeah, what's up?
What are we doing with all this stuff?
This is good.
What?
Don't what me.
We need to figure...
First of all, what are we even fucking doing here?
Why are we doing this?
What are you talking about?
Dude, that shit was fucking fire.
My girlfriend used to hear she was fucking dying up there.
I think I'm going to get a little bit of P-U-S-Y tonight if you know what I'm
talking about.
We don't need more documentaries.
We need to focus on the actual show.
Okay?
We need these interviews to be dialed in and we're not focused on that.
On top of that, you're treating this place like a fucking daycare center for
your 12-year-old
girlfriend.
12, Nick?
12?
First of all, she's most probably certainly over 18.
And second of all, we can't be sure of that because she doesn't have a birth
certificate
because of the ongoing conflict in the Ukraine.
And Gerhard is doing a great job out there.
Okay, look.
Yes, you're right.
I'm sorry.
I apologize.
But first of all, who the fuck is Gerhard?
I don't know where you found this guy.
We need to fix the show.
The interviews have to be dialed in.
Okay?
What do you mean?
The interviews are fire.
They're not fire.
No, no, no.
People love the Mac DeMarco interviews.
We have Mac DeMarco here for nine and a half hours.
Yeah.
And you asked him about Free Willy.
You asked him if his penis was circumcised.
That's a good question.
And you asked him if he had a cat.
Okay?
The questions need to be specific to the guest.
Right.
You're from Canada.
What's the leaf?
What is that leaf?
That's a good question.
What is it?
That is a good question.
Why do they have a leaf on the fly?
Do you have an eagle?
These are the kinds of things.
I see what you're saying.
Look, you blew the Matty Healy interview.
What do you mean I blew it?
You blew it.
It's fucking ruined.
It was terrible.
Have you seen it?
We can't use that.
No, but I remember it was pretty good.
Hello and welcome to the Adam Friedland Show.
We've got a massive guest today.
You want to introduce yourself?
I want to introduce myself.
Yeah, go for it.
Hello, I'm Matty from the 1975.
Is that my job?
Am I supposed to?
Well, I don't know.
Nick, you guys have no idea what you're doing.
Absolutely not.
There's no idea.
There's no one here.
People told me not to come on this and I was like, no, it's a real...
No, it's a real thing.
It's a real thing.
So, Jimmy Savile, do you think he got a raw deal?
Have you ever seen the Nora Ephron movie, Michael?
No.
No.
So, it's like a...
I mean, you're going to love it, but like...
So, basically, John Travolta, he plays an angel, but get this, he's not angelic.
He likes to drink and he likes to get pussy.
My pubes are falling out.
This is a pretty good fucking movie.
Forget the movie.
Look, we need to get this fucking interview.
Wait, why are you dressed like Elizabeth Holmes?
I like this style.
This is how I look now.
Buy it, Mark.
Oh.
You've been seeing him?
Just a little bit.
But he helps a lot with the show.
I thought you said you weren't going to see him anymore.
I thought you said we're getting rid of him.
Look, we are.
Okay?
And I do have a guy and I can contact him and we can get rid of him.
But I'm going to need, look, I promise you, just a couple more weeks to grow my
hair out to play the other guy.
And then we'll have a great cold open.
And then you can focus on your interviews with your little music friends.
It's going to be good.
And we'll have a great show.
It'll be a great show.
It's a good show.
You just got to have faith in me and let Dracula do a little bit more and then
we're good.
All right.
Stay tuned for my show.
Stay tuned for the Adam Friedland Show.
It's my show.
Thank you.