Name: Nick Mullen Investigates Chinese Spy Balloon | The Adam Friedland Show
Uploaded: 2023-02-17T21:31:35.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Nick Mullen Investigates Chinese Spy Balloon | The Adam Friedland Show' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Nick Mullen Investigates Chinese Spy Balloon | The Adam Friedland Show' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-17. Transcript available.

Welcome back.
Last week, the United States shot down a Chinese spy balloon over the coast of
South Carolina.
But we here at the Adam Friedland Show feel like shooting down the balloon was
not enough.
So we send our own Nick Mullen over China in a balloon to collect evidence on
what the
fuck they're doing over there.
So live via satellite, we have Nick Mullen.
Thanks for having me, Adam.
Boy, I tell you, it's windy up here, but I couldn't be any happier being in a
hot air balloon.
So Nick, I just want to say it's incredibly brave that you're doing this in
response to
the Chinese spy balloon.
What Chinese spy balloon?
So yeah, what's the first stop on your journey?
Well, it seems like I am right now passing through their education system.
And I can say that I am highly impressed.
Some of the math they're doing over here is absolutely insane.
Oh.
Oh, from 30,000 feet.
You can see that.
Yes, I can see it.
Back to you, Adam.
Okay, I didn't know that.
It's good to know.
So can you tell us a little bit about what you're seeing?
You're obviously floating over mainland China.
Do you see any evidence of military installations, ICBMs, anything like that?
It seems they're up to their usual Chinese bullshit, Adam.
There's a lot of karate going on.
Surprisingly, they don't all look the same.
Some of them are women.
Have you seen nukes?
Military installations are first on the list.
When I set out in this weather balloon, I said, if they're looking at our nukes,
I'm going
to look at theirs.
It appears they're forming a giant dragon.
And they're all going into the dragon costume, forming some kind of human centipede.
I mean, that is simply terrifying.
It's disgusting, Adam.
Yeah.
What about a quick traffic report?
I guess you're floating above the roads and stuff.
Absolutely.
The driving over here is absolutely crazy.
Is it?
It's wild.
It's much different, a very unique style.
You can see maybe more of an Eastern philosophy.
Like a Confucian style of driving.
A Confucian style of driving that seems, frankly to me, dangerous and
disgusting.
Um, now tell me, has anyone spotted you up there?
I don't think anyone spotted me yet, probably due to my extreme skill as a hot
air balloon
pilot.
But...
Oh no.
I think I'm being tracked right now by three Chinese style fighter jets.
Oh my god.
Nick.
There's the faggot now.
Wait.
Please be careful.
I'm doing my best.
In fact, I'm going to try a technique I learned from the movie Top Gun: Maverick.
You can go Mach 10 in a balloon?
I'm trying.
And now I'm...
So tell me what's going on now.
Just be...
Just stay on the phone, okay?
I'm dr...
I'm drifting.
It appears I'm still in China.
Maybe a smaller version of China.
Wait, wait, Nick.
Can you hold on one second?
Dave?
Do you have his GPS location?
No.
Yeah.
Nick, Dave says you're over San Francisco right now.
I'm getting...
I can't hear you, Adam.
It seems that the signal is breaking up, but I have to get down there to get a
closer
look to see what all these Pfizer employees are up to.
So you can get groundbreaking real content for the Adam Friedman show.
Nick, you're not in China, though.
You're in San Francisco, I believe.
Oh, my God.
Somebody help me.
They're having sex with me.
Nick?
Your service is terrible, Nick.
I think we lost him.
And we'll be right back with Ariel Pink.