Name: The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Episode 9
Uploaded: 2023-06-22T20:07:46.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Episode 9' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Episode 9' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-22. Transcript available.

The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Episode 9

welcome the Adam Freeland show podcast it's Adam joined by a Nick you're
reading the trades I'm
reading the trades Adam what's in the trades today looks like Charizard is
going for two
Pikachus no the Pokemon trades oh we're off to a hot start today folks it is
Thursday a day late
but uh two dollars uh long and we're halfway through 2023 so you know what that
means it's
time to start talking about Pokemon going to the polls yes that's right the
2024 election
is only uh I love the way like the just the politics dorks talk about the
election like
the mayor from Nightmare Before Christmas uh-huh like it's only four more years
until the next
election yeah like the mayor of Halloween town yeah yeah they're smiling on
election day and then
the next day their head turns around and it's just covered in cum another face
with cum all over it
and yeah there's numbers stuck to it yeah and um a promise that we're going to
be making to our
audience is that this election season we will be having a multiple candidates
perhaps a town hall
style event um with multiple candidates on the Adam Friedland show we want this
to we want to be
king makers you know mm-hmm okay King Kong makers
that's right there's an atomic bomb that made him I think what the hell does
Kong mean
Kong yeah why do you like uh all the monkeys have the name Kong
uh it's their last name family name it's uh
African
I don't know
um what's going on with you oh we're a day late again I said that day late but
we're two dollars long
and would you like to explain crap my pants crap I'm surprised you even have
any pants
left
um the pants budget is getting out of control yeah I talked to my
a lot of people don't know this but Staten Island is actually entirely built on
a layer of
Adam's ruined pants yeah they have built a nice park over it they call it uh
uh wait have you seen uh there's that park right by the book in the documentary
crapsy
yeah it's about a Staten Island uh like folklore this legend this guy with bad
allergies who shits
his pants yeah having sex with children oh crapsy coming yeah they say that the
skin on his nose
is uh is uh fucked up
it's true
it's true
yeah
yeah crapsy coming I have been reinvesting in
you're like the bad guy from true detective
yeah
the yellow king
he lives in carcasa
it's a big bathroom
carcosa
it's a big toilet facility from the civil war that he brings people in
yeah yeah it was a jewish factor in the civil war
what
it was a
factory factory oh yeah there's a
i believe his name was uh
uh
abraham flusherman
that's one of my favorite things right-wing guys do and they point out that
they're like oh the jews owned all the slaves in the south yeah they like
saying that yeah
but then being like but also slavery is good but it's also good but it was jewish
yeah
but it wasn't our idea but it was jewish and it was good
anyway um we are here live at adam friedland corporate hq in manhattan we got
what is that
this one's dead is this the only one we have i think so blast
dude we're gonna have to we're gonna have to like get through
get through an hour without those what do you got let's see i lost my my phone
also
did you check your ass it's not in my ass did you check your ass i don't know ginsburg
you're
gonna have to keep us apprised of time okay copy that yeah we're doing two
hours we're doing two
hours of the double xl episode um i feel like there's big things in the news
this week well we
got the big submarine thing we have the penn state professor that was caught
fucking a dog
i text you that news story i thought that was something that we can maybe do i
saw that he had
a greek style name yeah and he was having some greek style sex in the woods pongo
fuckopolis
yes that was his name yeah um uh it looks like we have a box on stage i don't
know if we should
probably we're doing more about we're we have to get into so every video that
we do now that we're
youtube guys yeah we gotta do an unboxing this is the last box that we had it's
a hoover but we'll do
that we'll get to that in a minute yeah we don't have to get into that quite
yet um this uh so apparently
the uh submarine has run out of oxygen officially yeah and i already said on
the last one you know
i smell crazy in there yeah that was premium so you can repeat it yeah and say
if you like jokes like
that you can subscribe to patreon.com taps also folks thanks again for all the
good feedback we've
been getting on the chris cuomo episode um pretty awesome if you like the chris
cuomo episode please
subscribe subscribe to youtube channel you can totally ignore these podcasts
these will forever be dog shit yeah yeah and it's a good 90 seconds it's a look
into the process that
goes behind yes the process yeah this is we're talking dead it is no that's how
i explain it to
people yeah yeah it's sort of like that show talking dead it's like talking
dead and that like a weird
little gay guy talks to a corpse yeah yeah yeah um little gay guy corpse little
gay guy gay corpse yeah no
little gay guy can't switch the rules i didn't switch the rules dead and
straight but i didn't i'm dead
and straight never did i say i'm dead and straight never once did i say i am
dead and straight you're
a little and gay and weird never once he has that statement made yes you did
anyway so once um but
yeah what please subscribe to the show um if you if if you enjoyed the chris cuomo
episode that would
help us out a lot cost nothing it's free to subscribe yeah and we want to get
our subscribers up we got to
get to we got to a hundred thousand and then you told me that uh you told your
friend and he said yeah my
sister just could yeah my no he said my girlfriend used to have that for doing
just do it's like nail
clippers yeah cvs yeah so it's really not that impressive not that hundred
thousand we got to get
to a million we have to get to a million i really know nothing about this
youtube world remember when
justin bieber had some video and they were like it's the first video to have a
million views
was that right wasn't it like that maybe it was a billion maybe it was a bill
it had to have been
a billion yeah i think gangnam style was also one of those yeah first to we
should have gotten on
the youtube thing way back i know we really it up yeah but like genuinely
speaking
guys um we're trying i was under the impression that the youtube world was hard
up because now
they have to fight each other for money yeah now that's what like that's what
rats do yeah they're
literally fighting for resources yeah so i thought i'm like oh wow we locked
out thank god we're not
in that yeah pretty soon i'm gonna be fighting pokey main is he a youtube guy
that's a girl that's a
girl it was the i i only know the name because that was the one that the guy
watched deep fake pornography
of pokey main yeah oh yeah that guy that cried the guy that cried we love what
was his name asher roth
um something like that yeah yeah asher ketchum asher ketchum yeah asher roth
hacked off to pokemon asher
roth was the the guy that i love college damn that was a a lame that's always
awesome yeah it's weird
that that guy didn't turn into macklemore yeah it was it was kind of the same
thing but i think uh asher
roth is um kind of like the more like frat version what did macklemore end up
he did like a song about
going to a blm protest yeah he did the first song is like a gay guy song the
the first one was about
going to salvation army yeah yeah the second one's about going to a george floyd
protest in his toyota
her cell i think it was that he thought he could be gay because he liked to um
go to bed early and
but that's in the george floyd song isn't it is a george floyd song i think it
was earlier yeah it's
called same love about being gay yeah yeah uh ginsburg can you do me a favor
and bring some of those
vitamin c's out here yeah thanks what kind of vitamin c's are they candy vibes
no no no they're just the
fucking i think i'm getting sick again yeah um it has been unseasonably cool
here in new york city we
haven't really gotten a summer yet yesterday was the equinox did you know that
yeah yeah the solstice
the solstice not the equinox are you gonna sneeze no i'm thinking
oh thank you atriak was the uh atriak five please oh you're gonna take five of
those yeah i take five
what are they five don't they give you diarrhea they will but i'm telling you i
can't afford the
diet anytime i feel like i'm getting a little bit sick i can't afford the diary
brother i can't afford
this diarrhea but we should have vitamin c's out in like a little yeah well
that's the thing it's like
we're at a hollywood roofie party but it's uh because i always thought it was
like bullshit you
know because people have those emergency packets where anytime you get sick
people are like oh take
vitamin c and it's never worked in my life but i would always take just like
one vitamin c apparently
you have to take a ton of them to the point where you like you get to where you
have diarrhea then you
walk it back and the last two times i felt like i was sick you know it's like
your nose has that weird
kind of feeling yeah your throat gets scratchy yeah i just blast them and
nothing and i'm fine
ginsburg is my microphone okay okay um but uh what were we talking about oh the
submarine thing yeah
yeah that's been uh social media has been funny with that it's a bunch of like
fucking like like uh twitter
like like guys with like robespierre avi's you know just being like good any
dead billionaire's a good
dead you know or whatever yeah those kind of guys and then a different type of
person being like uh
you know like uh what happened to civility and it's like what do you think this
website is
where do you think you are right now you're in like the ballroom at the court
yeah like it's a
bunch of retarded people in their underwear arguing about uh you know and also
nobody it's like it's
like oh you lose your sense of empathy over the billionaires it's like well it's
not really a sense
of empathy because i guess there was a migrant boat that like sunk and they all
died if the story had been
a submarine blew up when they launched it and five billionaires died a week ago
no one would care
right why well because they're already dead because it's like this
instantaneous yeah it's a search
thing it's yeah what makes it like it's like the boys the fact that they're
yeah exactly the fact that
they're still alive like dying this death that frankly anyone would be fucking
terrified of trapped in
a submarine with two pakistani guys oh my god it's like you know anybody would
fucking so it is like a
unique circumstance but even then it's it's it's uh the argument isn't you know
like what tone you have
while discussing the do they say it's 13 000 feet down yeah something like that
it's so far that's so
insanely deep yeah what happens like if you try to go up too fast you get the
bends right i don't think
it's a problem in the submarine because the submarine's pressurized oh it's
pressurized when did people
used to get the bends they get them from those diving suits building it's like
building the brooklyn bridge
then they they'd have to go subterranean yeah when they build the brooklyn
bridge that's not even that
deep they had these things called uh caissons which was uh basically you know
you just push a cup down
in a bathtub yeah yeah yeah so it was like that so it was a cup and there was
chairs in there and then
they would just push them down to that they would weight it and push them down
to the bottom of
the uh east river so they could build the foundation for the um for the bridge
yeah for the bridge um but
then yeah it would come up too fast and your blood wouldn't like normalize
correctly and you get
nitrogen bubbles in your blood then you go into your joints and your joints up
really yeah and then you
were just bedridden forever yeah it would like fire but eventually i think kill
you like it damages your
mobility and then i thought your head explodes or 