Name: The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Episode 31
Uploaded: 2023-12-01T03:14:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Episode 31' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Episode 31' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-01. Transcript available.

The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Episode 31

hello and welcome that's adam's classic line uh everybody how you doing i'm uh
it is november 30th
2023 sorry i'm sure that sounds bad i i thought i was if you pay if you're a
patreon subscriber you saw me on monday i seemed like i was on the mend and now
i've taken a turn
for the worse with this cold it's resurged but uh let's go to camera one real
quick you'll notice
adam is is not here so but we got to get this one going because he has to do it
was his q a is tonight
7 30 he's got an engagement so all right let me see if i can get this going
here the stopwatch
stopwatch start there we go okay get this uh this thing going here on my own um
welcome everybody
adam friedland show regular podcast the adam friedland show podcast the regular
podcast this comes out
wednesdays or this week thursday because i was i was sick in bed yesterday so
we pushed it till thursday
and uh if you enjoy the adam friedland show podcast which is not the adam friedland
show which is a
talk show that i'm not on even though i i play a character with my name that's
a fictional version
of myself very similar to what i do on this show when adam is here but now did
right now this is the real me
um and uh so i was thinking about like uh you the first time you come when you're
like 12 or 13 or
some people 17 years old that's also normal if it takes that long before you
you uh but the first
time you put the cum under your pillow and then your dad and mom come in the
room and they eat the
cum and they leave money i was thinking about that um so that's how you know it's
me uh here not not
playing a character but i'm kind of glad adam's out of the room because i'd
like to have a sincere
and earnest moment with the audience i know that uh many of you dislike it when
i do that
but um you know it's been a it's been a wild ride the last seven years being
pulled out of
comedy obscurity by probably the most low effort thing that i i've ever done i
guess creatively which
was the come town podcast um to be uh you know then find myself now in middle
age trying to piece
together a career with this talk show whatever it is what that we're doing but
then also stand up which is
now blown up stand up is in this bizarre and there are a lot of you know people
are very talented but
i don't know it's because of the pandemic or what there's all of this uh money
and stand up right now
so it'd be dumb not to be doing it um and so i have a special coming out that i've
decided that it will
it will just come out this sunday we're going to put it out this sunday we're
probably going to do some
sort of like live we're going to put i'm going to put effort into making sure
that i promote the thing
and do it the right way so i don't lose the sixty thousand dollars i spent um
bringing my friends to
denver to get drunk uh and shoot the thing with so it will come out this sunday
we'll probably do
something like kind of i figure out the youtube live stream leading up to it
and i don't feel like
we've ever asked the audience much you may think it that way some of the more
hardcore old older
come town guys might think that we've demanded of you that you listen to the
show or that we've
taken something from you but the reality is is we've provided a lot of content
over the years
some of which you might have hated but it was free for the most part and uh and
and i i i now
now it's our my turn to ask a favor of some some of the more dedicated people
that have been around
for a long time who um might be sort of anti-social you know might be um sort
of angrier people
and uh but they're obsessed with the show and they've they've they've paid
attention to it for
years and they they probably know where me and adam live and have threatened us
in the dms and
and and those things but i want to speak to those guys in particular and i you
know i shouldn't name
names but i mean hassan piker now is your turn to help us and if you can uh
help get the word out
about the special and the live stream that we'll have we'll do leading up to
its launch on sunday it's up
it's passed all the monetization checks um which i'm told by our youtube guy
who himself was a member
of the come town community prior to us uh bringing him on board to help us
figure out how to post videos
um uh he's going to help us figure out how to do the live stream and we'll be
doing that but this is a
a sincere appeal to the the come town guys that like the i have both of them so
i've been speaking into it
i've been uh uh if you could uh well i'll be doing tim's podcast with lewis on
friday and then that's
that's i'm pretty much tapped out as far as favors go um in terms of who i can
ask to help um promote but
um yeah i don't know it would be uh probably a a a huge disappointment and
embarrassment if if uh
if this if this just ends up being a shitty video we posted the channel and
then um you know i'm like
barely selling out a a hundred seat comedy club in six months when now i've
just burned this material
because honestly but if i didn't do this i could have just kept doing this
shitty hour forever
until no one comes to the shows anymore
well everybody adam folks nick is a very humble person i think you guys have
known him for years
but he's offering you an invitation an rsvp to an event are you all right your
hands shaking i'm a little
bit i'm i'm i'm fine there's been a probably have early parkinson's but yeah
there's a detective that's
been calling adam and harassing him yes detective it's a gum shoe it's a child
gum shoe kind of like
a cam jansen he keeps showing up with a manila envelope and it's got pictures
of his girlfriend's
breasts in it black and white photos yes still wet from his dark room yes yes
why is it what's with
the red light what why why does a red light make a picture ginsburg's feeling
no no i mean is this a
dark room right now could we develop photographs here i don't know it's not
technically dark you
know ginsburg was like dude what if i was so random right now and then he was
like ginsburg ginsburg
came in today you weren't here but he was like i've been getting really into
invader zim
and i thought what if i did something just so random with the lights he did
just get a septum piercing too
yeah yeah he's fucking random he is random he's quantum you think that like
like whatever it was
like 3 000 years ago there was like a jewish guy that was so random and he was
like dude what if we
did circumcisions jesus christ what's kind of what if that was ran what if we
how random would that be
yeah i don't know when they started that trend but it started with abraham i
guess yes that was
to do it at 400 years old right that is the first thing god the circumcision is
the first thing that
established why are these freaks killing each other over this i don't know but
that it's like marvel
cinematic universe from like but it's not even good no in the bible like god
goes to abraham and he's
like all right go here go here yeah kill your son not not even the killer sign
comes later just go here
go here go here now you know the penis yeah and he's like all right now cut off
your penis and your son's
penis and your slaves penises and then and then me and you we're we're boys
forever
that's oh you just got me picking my nose on the ginsburg can we get we're not
live
are we live right now yeah we're live streaming you so okay folks all right
nick is has been my
friend we aren't live streaming it would be green if we were live streaming
okay good nick has been my friend
for i think maybe 12 years now 13 years yeah and i've known him to be the most
salt of the earth
most humble guy in the world he's probably telling you please watch the special
it's crummy i didn't
say it's i didn't say folks folks we are offering you an invitation to the kennedy
assassination to the
moon landing what i would like what i would like just if you could please help
me sincerely uh yes not
embarrass myself with this special that's that's a that is very nice if your
family hates it
show it to your family what do you have to lose yes if your family sees it and
do it on different phones
and so we can get a higher view count right so so have like six phones going at
once and i'll tell
you what the first the first million views no everybody gets a hezbollah t-shirt
no you're putting
yourself in you know nick no it uh it's a satirical very okay folks we're not
pro-terrorism uh
okay fine we everyone the first million get it how could you even accomplish
that what do you mean
how could you how could you track everyone's addresses down i printed them on gildans
so gildan
heavies yeah that's always funny when i was making t-shirts like these are the
these are the cheapest
shirts but they're like thick yeah yeah like they don't form fit your body at
all yeah yeah and
so when i was printing shirts i got like nice athletic shirts to print shirts i
thought people would
appreciate that more but because it's a cometown audience you i got nothing but
like angry fat guys
that are like use gildan heavies you have to use the use the why are you
selling any shirts in 4x yeah
why can you just write your name on a burlap sack you you are ridiculous i need
a snuggie that i can
wear to walmart folks as a shirt folks we're offering you an invitation to a
world event okay and sunday
good evening it's what 7 p.m nicholas huh do you have that picture on your
watch which one no
show them on your watch the picture this is like this is a background this is a
background of my watch
it's like what you know it's a nice picture of me punch in on that right here
it's a three it's on my
phone also this i'm going to use this as the poster for the tour the tour is
branded ginsburg what are
you you're being so random right now just get back just get back in there
this guy's so random i mean it's a picture of me right now it's a funny picture
all right it's a
really funny picture it's a really good
so this is going to be the this is this is a little uh as they say in the
comedy world a little
inside baseball you told them the name of the special you're the dragon you're
the dragon it's
actually the name of the special is actually year of the dragon there was a miscommunication
between
me and steven and he titled it the year of the dragon that's but it's uh so i
guess we're just
going to call it you'll see the title the title is wrong when you can't get the
word the out of it
it's not even out at this point no no it's already been uploaded and guys i
think my friend steven
has a drinking problem okay what the heck is that i don't know but these guys
don't know steven he's
a private citizen he's a civilian he's not a he's not a dancer of the skies
like ourselves
i've been reimagining myself as a i've been reimagining myself as a world war
one fighter ace
yes that's the thing you could just you can just decide in your head to be
whoever you want
it's true yeah if you use your man that's really kind of what this israel-palestine
war has taught
me more than anything right well you see people argue all the time about like
well actually they
were here first but they had a different name and these people were here first
but you got to look
at the genetic testing and the 23 and me if if that if if really getting into
the weeds with all of
this doesn't just completely destroy the idea of essentialism in your head then
you're not obsessed
essentialism like that there are essential qualities in something that are
innate within them okay you
know sure um there is no such thing as an israeli or a palestinian or a jew
even for that matter
no it doesn't exist it's like these are they're constantly everything is a
construct okay sure yeah so in
the same way that you're jewish i am a world war one fighter pilot ace sure a
dancer of the sky if you
will and you're laughing because you know it's true the humor laughter is the
nature's uh polygraph
that's how you know something's true if you get somebody laugh at it yeah they're
laughing because
they know yes my man l