Name: The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ian Fidance - Episode 51
Uploaded: 2024-04-27T01:07:34.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ian Fidance - Episode 51' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ian Fidance - Episode 51' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-27. Transcript available.

The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ian Fidance - Episode 51

welcome to the adam friedland show podcast it's right here look at that snot
it's not snot dude people people i never had to suck on wood but i know someone
who has
ian fidance everyone will come up to me promoting his new special what's it
called
ian fidance wild happy and free god damn yes available on is that a reference
to live laugh
low what is it i am i'm wild i'm happy and i'm free come on and as a gift what's
the name of your
special oh yeah that's right and um as a gift i brought you guys matchbooks
promotional you
didn't let me answer my little ghostbuster logo is this a ref this is a
reference to ghostbusters
that's the font it's a reference yeah it's an homage it's an homage have you
seen something's
wrong with my brain because i i feel like everything i just have deja vu
constantly
every word that's spoken everything anybody says to me i'm like is this is this
supposed to be a
reference to something yeah it is you picked up on it i will be i'll be like
you know i'm glad you're
here um glad i'm here too the man who single-handedly destroyed joe rogan yeah
has has ruined the
broken bump that is no longer a thing anymore it used to make a career it did
and now you've you've
destroyed that he was the biggest name in media and apparently you went on
there and you were saying
no it's dead minorities are criminals or something what were you talking about
you were talking about
migrants uh trying to give sex changes to kids or something oh sorry i want to
speak the truth i saw
something on no i didn't misinformed fucking gross human look i brought you
guys i'm not gross you
gave me a matchbook that's not a good gift you're well i brought you other
gifts so what's it called
it's a match box adam it's not a match book yeah it's a match but it's a box of
matches for my
special a match book is smaller that's the kind of thing they give out for free
at bars you know
people don't give these out for free these are for like uh like uh bar mitzvah
or something like
gifts yeah that's right and it's a gift let's see what else you bring okay can
you imagine i
imagine having a a cigar themed bar mitzvah and you give out yeah that jewish
boy cutting yeah right
and you give out matches for your well i know what else you bring um you know
of course we're just
joking around ian's our best friend it's great to have you back it's nice the
last couple times
on the show was when daddy was away you can't light them you can't these are
fake cigarettes because i
always smoke on the podcast and then me and nicholas talked and i said i wouldn't
do it so i got you guys
fake cigarettes why do you listen to him i asked you because i don't respect
you he was gone so i was
gone i was gone guess what i come back to adam's ripped one of the buttons off
the chair no i didn't
no i didn't do you have to be babysat at all times
i also got look at look at it look at it look what this look what happened here
adam it's like a
fourteen thousand dollar chair have some respect no spine you know that ian you
have no spine and you
have no penis i could see through your clothes you know i have that's cool you
know that's not true
you don't even have a pussy you have less you're like a ken doll you have less
yeah what are the
hottest sexuality than even a child why am i the ian on the podcast right now
because it's how things
go yeah now um why i also got you a little gift adam okay i need a hat no no
you won't what is it
i got you pay us a pay us wig from the joke store next door why are they silver
because he's an old
soul okay i like that that's the first nice thing you've said put those on do i
look like little
beau peep a little bit i actually wore pay us on the inaugural episode um take
the the tag off
oh you left the price on oh my bad yeah i did spend a pretty penny on this
where are you coming
from where were you before this no no i obviously i did are you garbage this
morning no but i mean
like were you on the road recently oh yeah chicago chicago zanies it was
awesome what did you do in
chicago we don't talk comedy on this podcast but we do talk towns yeah what i
do in chicago talk of
the town is we're rebranding the show is talk of the town talk of the town i
will say this i feel
like i've i've i've i've punished the audience enough because i get the
criticism i despised the
most in the old days was oh what you just have to talk for an hour how hard
could that be so i said
okay i will give you a year of showing you what just talking for an hour looks
like if you want to
see what that is here it is this is just talking for an hour now here's the
difference zing
bam bam bam yeah just now now i'm back zap with joe gay you think you got
glasses i'm back to
rift city i don't i don't like this that you think you can come for me anyways
go ahead nick yeah
thank you i'm gonna regulate right after you regulate i will say today though i
am i i am not in the mood
the podcast it's fucking it's a nice day out it's earth day too yesterday was
earth day and i would
like to be outside let's go outside after what if we potted outside well there's
no way we don't have
the infrastructure anymore it'd be cool to but also it'd be cool to just hang
you know the day i
my rogan episode came out i flew a kite in the park with friends absolutely
when was the last time you
did that it was so you and joe rogan went and flew a kite no no no he was like
dude i'm gonna show you
electricity is not even real we found his electricity is fake dude he's like
watch this you're just gonna
blow your mind we are i had adolf hitler on last week he told me electricity is
fake oh speaking of
which i got adam this mustache oh perfect please put that on oh very funny yes
yeah it's so funny
the holocaust there you go so now that you've done rogan are you voting for rfk
jr i was already
going to but now i most certainly am has he done rogan he must have he has
imagine yeah imagine
listening to three hours of that you'd probably go deaf i think you would go
deaf if you had to
listen to rfk speak for more than an hour you know in fifth grade we voted for
a kid to be president
of our school because he made the morning announcements and we all voted for
him because
he had a terrible voice and after a week we were like this was a horrible
mistake yeah just every
morning hearing a shrill there you go you impeached him no we kept him oh and
nick i got you this
it's a raccoon's tail with raccoon ears and does it oh i thought it was one of
those ones you put in
a bag of chips oh i should have gotten that that would have been great if i
said hey i got you some
there's a little ball you put it in a bag you knock the trash can over you put
the ball on it
your plan is backfiring once i get this tape off because nick's a cute little
raccoon oh damn now
you're david draymond from disturbed oh shit you thought you were gonna do a
nazi hit the floor
and that's about gaza that song mm-hmm yeah and kabul and you'd have to be a
little disturbed
to uh not recognize what's going on over there professional comedian ian
finance we're gonna listen
to a special so what's what's happening now at columbia university they've
called in the national guard to kill the
students for protesting yes oh that would be oh that would be honestly it would
be i mean it would be
very funny if if the army showed up and shot hundreds of palestinian students
it just they're not even
palestinian students i know they're like lebanese no they're just like regular
people they're they're
regular suits they're all white can i go there can i go and start my own
protest you could can i go to
columbia protest i don't understand what their demands are i don't think they
have i don't think
do the students know that columbia university can't and that's what i was
thinking i was like
they're now doing it at yale they're doing it at columbia i think they're
starting now at myu
yale is interesting because isn't yale i thought yale was the conservative
school i thought that was for
republicans it's the wasp one yeah yeah i thought i would imagine they would
all be pro well my buddy goes
to columbia and he's like i hope they protest till forever because we're
getting free chipotle
because the school's like it's dangerous stay on campus we'll give you food so
you don't have to
leave is it possible this is all part of some awesome dude this is all part of
some scam
some chipotle based scam is that possible a rebrand because chipotle got people
sick
and now they are i just walked outside it's still chipotle they had it is what
are you talking about
you're the okay let's go how about todd berry a man named bod terry and he's a
mentally disabled
black guy he's got a great body in the 1930s and what would just how about it i
don't know how about
that what would his job be the same bod terry
this is bye terry i'm the most famous person on this job now are pyros coming
back that's what
everyone's worried about people are lighting themselves on fire there is yeah
that guy he
recommended come town on reddit shut up really yeah the the bray said he was a
true anon fan i was
initially somebody told me that over the weekend i was like oh no but then i
realized the guy didn't
he well he's not like a mass shooter he just set himself on fire it's kind of
like uh kind of like
an unselfish way to to do that it's not a big jump to say that the uh buddhist
monks in vietnam would
be fans of mine if they had heard of me the rage against the machine the rage
against the machine yeah yeah you could say that in some ways i stopped the vietnam
war
uh-huh i wouldn't it be great if they were self uh immolating immolating and uh
they just had a
speaker of old come town bits playing that would be great yeah i would like to
shave my head dress up
like a a monk and then sit down in like a outside of a protest or something and
then i have a
gas can with me but then i'm just pouring diarrhea all over my head and then i
just sit there very
stoically just covered in diarrhea classic snafu and then um stinky and then
yeah people are like
what's going on i'm like i thought it was uh gasoline oh you're still doing the
accent well i'm buddhist
yeah he's getting in the character it's a buddhist accent it's a coon dune
accent yeah yeah
what the hell did you say
the martin timothy chalamet in blackface over here the martin scorsese movie uh
coon dune have you
seen that i've never seen a dune yeah it's that's the that one is the uh the
racist one is it yeah
dune 2 the one he's coon dune
what's that it's a movie dude about martin lauren's
he goes back in time i re-watched national security you ever see that
it's mark lawrence it's good but it's not as good as blue streak
i i i saw all those movies in the theaters really yeah i saw jack and jill in
theaters twice
adam used to live in a dave matthews is in that movie yeah yeah alamo draft
house adam was raised
by a family of raccoons and they lived in a movie theater at one point does
this bring you back yeah
yeah that's the cool that's why you thought you were gonna you thought you were
gonna dig on him
with the raccoon tail no i don't want to dig shout out to our friend jamel johnson
he used to
have a great bit about a raccoon tail butt plug what was it i don't remember
but it was very funny
excellent excellent how am i with the pussy tickler it's such an amazing but
now you're sucking up to
ian i'm not what do you mean how am i sucking up the yeah yeah you are by
making fun i'm making a joke
now i'm sucking up to ian yeah because because um because two people out of the
millions of people
that don't like you in this world happen to be sitting okay first of all
millions is an exaggeration
first of all out of the hundreds of millions it's about 2 000 people who know
who i am
helpless that the job what are the odds and about 19 could be in the same room
at the same time and
they're sucking up to each other because they have a they just happen to notice
a shout out to
derailing the show does here come in